Did anyone tell a joke? Can you tell me a joke?

The first class was a history class, and the teacher was very interested in the class. A classmate nicknamed "Sanmao" fell asleep on the desk, and the teacher was very angry, so he called Sanmao up. The teacher asked

You say, what do Wang Anshi and Ouyang Xiu have in common? [Sanmao blurted out: "The special people are all from the Song Dynasty.]

The teacher then asked: "Then tell me, what do they have in common with Tang Taizong and Zhuge Liang?" Sanmao was stunned and replied:

Do they have anything in common with Sun Yat-sen and Lu Xun? Sanmao thought for a while and said, "They are all men."

The teacher then asked, "What if you add Li Qingzhao and Cixi?" Sanmao was anxious:

They are all Chinese. The teacher smiled and asked, "Tell me more, what do Napoleon and Caesar have in common?"

They all served as emperors. What do they have in common with Darwin and Hitler? Sanmao replied that he had already figured out the trick by this time, and he proudly said:

They are all foreigners. The teacher pressed again: "Then what do they have in common with the people I mentioned earlier?"

Sanmao stabbed a rod to the end: "They are all human beings." The teacher asked again

As far as I know, Zhuge Liang raised chickens, Cixi and Caesar also raised dogs, counting these animals, do they have anything in common with them? As soon as the teacher asked, Sanmao's head began to sweat: "This ......."This ......They and they all died.

Well, it's all dead. The teacher nodded. Sanmao's legs weakened, sat down, and thought, this is the end of the problem, right?

Unexpectedly, the teacher said, "You have one last question when you stand up—if they are still alive now, can you find common ground?" Sanmao was dumbfounded, he thought for five minutes before he said with a sad face

If you don't count the jet lag, they should have had lunch with them. ”

There is a family surnamed Pan that holds important family activities.

They invited an old gentleman with a strong local accent to be the host. There is a passage in the family tree that reads: "Firstborn: Pangenko; Eldest daughter-in-law: Chi Shi; Eldest granddaughter: Pan Liangzi; Second grandson: Pan Daoshi .........

But this old gentleman is dizzy and has a non-standard pronunciation.

When he followed the family tree call, he read it like this: "Firstborn, turn ......."Follow ......Head. ”

When the eldest son heard this, he felt strange, but he didn't dare to ask, so he turned his head. "The eldest daughter-in-law is also ......It's ......”

When the eldest daughter-in-law heard it, "I'm going to turn it over too?" ”

So the eldest daughter-in-law turned her head.

The eldest granddaughter, turned ......Two ......Times. ”

When my granddaughter heard this, I thought that my parents had turned it over, so I would too! So he turned over two heels.

At this time, the second grandson thought to himself: "My father and mother each turn once, my sister turns twice, how many times should I turn it?" "My heart started to get nervous. What to do?

I saw the old gentleman tear open his throat and read out loud: "Second grandson......Flip ......to ......Dead ......”

Summary. Guoguo is a primary school student, he has an exam tomorrow, and he still watches TV at night and doesn't study, his mother asked him why he didn't study for the exam tomorrow, he pointed to the bamboo on his chest and said to his mother, I am confident.

This question is up to me, it takes a little time to type, so please be patient.

Tell me, I'll listen.

I was trying to hear a joke.

Good. Come right away.

The premise is that I am from Chaoshan, and a foreigner asked me, can you teach me how to say eggs in Chaoshan dialect, and I said yes. She said yes, I said yes. Chaoshan eggs are called "can".

By the way, I taught you a Chaoshan dialect.

Are you in a bad mood?

If you're not happy to hear it, let me tell you another one?

Guoguo is a primary school student, he has an exam tomorrow, and he still watches TV at night and doesn't study, his mother asked him why he didn't study for the exam tomorrow, he pointed to the bamboo on his chest and said to his mother, I am confident.

We hope you are happy!

When the postman came to a house, he saw Xiao Ming playing with dirt, so he asked him, "Is your mother at home?" Xiao Ming said

Ahh The postman knocked on the door, but no one answered. The postman asked again

Is your mom really home? Xiao Ming said, "Yes!

So the postman knocked on the door again, but there was still no response. The postman said, "You kid has learned to lie at such a young age!"

Xiao Ming said: "No! The postman said

Then I asked you if your mother was not at home, how did you say that she was? Xiao Ming said, "My mother is at home!"

The postman said, "Then how do I knock on the door and there is no one at home?" Xiao Ming said

I didn't say this was my home. ”

One day, there were three people walking together: a farmer, a mathematician, and a soldier.

While they were walking to a lake, a woman accidentally fell into the water, called out to them for help, and said: If anyone can save her, she will let whoever cao three times.

The three of them rescued the woman to the lake, and the woman fulfilled her promise. The peasants go up first, very honestly, once, twice, three times and it's over; followed the mathematician up ,,、 did thirty strokes at the end; The soldier went up last, and the soldier went up and shouted the password: one-two-one, one-two-one, one-two-one, ......

Xiaobai Xiaobai ?

Answer White Rabbit Little White Two

Whether the dumplings are boys or girls.

Answer Guy Because dumplings have foreskin.

A lumberjack goes to enlist for a job.

Foreman: Go ahead and try the woods. See how many trees you can see in a minute.

A minute passed.

Foreman: Wow. 20 trees a minute. It's amazing. Where did you work before?

Workers: Sahara Forest.

Foreman: Haven't heard of it...I've only heard about the Sahara Desert ...

Worker: yes. Later, the name was changed!

Policeman: "Say, what's your name?" ”

Prisoner: "My name is Jackie Chan." ”

Policeman: "Why don't you call Chen Zhen, put your attitude right for me, and tell me what your name is?" ”

Prisoner: "My name is Chen Zhen. ”

Xiao Ming owed 200,000 yuan to the underground bank, Xiao Ming begged him to let him for a few more days, and the people from the money village said: You must pay it back tomorrow, otherwise. Chop off 2 fingers; Words the day after tomorrow. Chop 4 pieces; Words on the 3rd day.

Xiao Ming: You don't have to pay it back

Money Man: No, you'll be Tinker Bell then. One day, a penitent came to the church, and he said to the priest: [Father, I was wrong. ]

The priest said: [If you confess your mistakes, God will forgive you.] The penitent said: [I stole a man's bicycle, and I'm going to give it to you now.] The priest said: [No! Don't give it to me, give it back to the benefactor. ]

The penitent said, "I have asked him, but he does not want it.] The priest said, "Then take it!" ]

When the priest got off work, he found that his bicycle parked in the backyard was gone!!

A person, go to the church to confess.

He said to the priest: "I took in a Jew during the Second World War.

The priest said, "This is a good thing, why repent?"

He said: I let him live in my attic and charge him £100 a day.

The priest was surprised: That's it?

The man continued: But I still haven't told him that World War II is over!

A cat said to a dog.

It's time for the exam today.

I'll kick you. You're going to have to show it to me.

It's time for the exam.

The cat kicked the dog.