How to guide autistic boys in autism?

Cai Kaiyu, director of the Hainan Tianya Institute of Applied Psychology, said that no matter what kind of people they are, adolescence is a "storm period". In addition to the "storm" of their children, parents should have a psychological preparation, and the most important thing is to treat their excesses with a normal heart, which is not equal to indulgence, but should be used with a gentle and persistent attitude to clearly correct what cannot be done. "Some parents often sigh that they have raised their children so big, and their parents don't listen to what they say, and they will be fished away with a word from outside.

Cai Kaiyu said that this is because adolescent children want to prove themselves and find a sense of identity, and they tend to think that even ordinary people in society think that even friends who are not good in society understand them better than their parents. If parents can't do their homework in front, then they should pay special attention to and strengthen counseling for their children who have entered adolescence, which is a great challenge for parents of autistic children, and they can find professional advice, get out of the misunderstanding of only emphasizing the intervention of children, and pay attention to family intervention and parental mental health. "Parents must be strong in their hearts, know how to accept calmly, and the most taboo is noisy, beating and scolding, and only by pulling themselves out can they pull their children out.

The first thing to change is the "I'm guilty" perspective. You didn't do anything wrong. Being treated unfairly, but still having to protect his brother, is simply the reincarnation of the Buddha.

Then, when I studied education, after pre-puberty, I basically stereotyped it, and unilateral (such as school) efforts are basically useless. Contact for counseling. He needs a lively tablemate The sophomore year of high school liberal arts and sciences was assigned to a new class, the same table, male, was very introverted before sharing a table with me, extremely silent, almost did not communicate with people, and did not talk and laugh with people at all.

The above is what the original people in their class said, hahahaha, until I did it with him for a semester, ouch will flirt with my sister hahaha, they all said that I took him badly, and turned a vicissitudes of life from an ice cube face into a chatter. It's a bit clever, but the environment can really change a person. <>

Adolescent children's psychological problems should be effectively counseled according to the child's personality characteristics, such as the following:

1.Environment:The family should create a good family atmosphere so that the child feels loved.

2.Words:It is necessary to respect the child, find out the strengths of the child, and restore the child's self-confidence through encouragement. Don't speak ill of your child, and don't get angry or yell at your child for no reason.

3.Mind:Communicate ideas with your child and understand their inner world.

4.Interests:Being able to play outdoors together can release irritability, open the eyes of adolescent children, and improve the relationship with poor parent-child relationships.

You can also let your children participate in more interesting activities, which can be entertaining and educational, and effectively relieve mental pressure.

People can't always be in a good mood, since there are setbacks and troubles in life, there will be negative emotions. A psychologically mature person is not a person who does not have negative emotions, but someone who is good at regulating and controlling his emotions.

There are many ways to deal with emotions, but keeping an eye on them is the most important and crucial. Most people are confused and miserable because they are unaware, they can't see themselves clearly, they can't understand others, so they are confused and uneasy. But looking at yourself is also the most difficult thing to do, because the ego is bigger than the sky, and it is difficult for you to let go and become humble.

It's also because we don't know how to adopt our minds, and we are looking for ways to calm down.

The source of negative emotions can be negative experiences, or they can be said to be negative inertia, and the events that evoke your negative experiences are just borrowed catalysts.

If the emotions are beyond the scope of one's control, the best way is not to release or suppress them, but to do nothing, learn to focus first, because when the negative energy is too large, you may not even be able to bear it if you release it indiscriminately, and it is easy to affect others. Repression is absolutely impossible, because the source of the problem is repression.

If you are disturbed, you must first fix your mind, take care of your emotions, disagree, don't judge, let it appear, put your feelings in your heart, and keep your eyes and tears in your eyes, and your breathing is still chaotic. The heart is the largest emotional control center, and in order to stabilize emotions, we must start from the heart and learn the method of centering. As for the method, everyone has to find it on their own.

There are many, many Dharmas, and the key is not in the Dharma, but in your intentions and willingness. I believe that I have the ability to open up the sea and the sky.

We have to be the masters of our emotions and refuse to be controlled. Emotions are not the same as events. It is the emotions that move and break, not the events themselves. We just don't understand, we agree that I am the whole emotional state, asking for hardships, pleasing emotions and impulses, but losing ourselves.

We can calm our emotions and stay awake and autonomous through self-control, which is mature mind management. Self-control is not the same as repression, because the former is an action after awakening, and the latter is a reaction of disorientation. The so-called self-control is to learn a set of emotional processing methods suitable for yourself, once you see that you are attacked by emotions, you have to protect yourself immediately, remind yourself that it is just to use weakness to defeat the pure thinking inertia of reason, and find appropriate ways to disperse the concentration of negative emotions, such as exercise, meditation, yoga, watching movies, volunteering, creating, talking to confidants, doing a spa, dressing up, etc., to bring out all the positive energy.

Helping oneself requires determination and perseverance, and it must be a path that is walked and completed alone, as well as a responsibility for growth. Self-treatment is always the most practical and practical method of self-protection, and no one can rely on it.

Make yourself more delicate, think more about the consequences, and you can pull it.

Smile when you encounter something.

It's all gone.

Cover your ears and steal the bell.

Don't take everything to heart, it's best to find someone to share everything.

For adolescent children. Parents are always worried that they will not be able to do this or that will be bad. In fact, as a parent, you should trust your child.

Give your child independent space. Sometimes some of the child's behavior, the parents do not agree. In fact, as long as it is not a mistake in principle.

It's better to let the child touch the nail on his own. This one is better than preaching. The most annoying thing for adolescent children is the nagging of their parents.

They will feel that their parents are very verbose and unwilling to communicate. All expressions are important!

Communication with children is necessary, but I recommend that parents do not focus too much on learning when communicating with their children during this period. (In fact, children in this period, they are ideological.) I have the ability to distinguish between right and wrong. Parents need to be properly guided! ）

Sometimes children have some unrealistic assumptions. At this time, parents should encourage their children to study hard and achieve through hard work, instead of pouring cold water on their children. At this time, although children have formed certain thoughts, their hearts are very fragile, so they must trust the children and give them confidence.

Trust itself contains a powerful educational power, which can give positive cues to the trusted. Letting go doesn't mean letting go. Giving your child space, respecting your child's feelings, giving your child ample opportunity to learn independence and self-management, while sticking to certain rules, and giving him support and help when he encounters difficulties, are good practices to help children learn to be active and responsible.

Children in this period, appropriate encouragement, using encouragement to guide children, is stronger than preaching.

But for some issues of principle, parents must be strict.

The most successful education is not to hold the child's hand and experience them step by step. Rather, let go in moderation. Trust is important.

Adolescent children are not easy to manage!

Take your kids out and about. Autistic tendencies may be due to a lack of desire to interact with people around them, but bringing your child into contact with nature can make him more willing to open his mind.

It is necessary to communicate with the child first, tell the child that others will understand him, that he will interact with others, that he will be unhappy if he closes himself, and so on. Parents are the people who are most familiar with their children and have been with them for the longest time, and if parents do not communicate well with their children, it will be difficult for children to muster up the courage to break the shackles.

Parents should take their children out to play more often, and communicate more with their children, and then let their children have an optimistic attitude.

Some acceptable wishes are fulfilled as much as possible. Adolescent children are often fragile and can't withstand a little setback, and even so, they always hold back their hearts and don't say it.

You should cultivate his self-reliance, control his pocket money, let him understand that money is not easy to come by, in addition, take the time to chat with him more, talk about the troubles of study and life, and don't abandon the child in order to earn money, because when you care about him, he doesn't know what has become. And don't let him be obsessed with the Internet, this is very bad, it is not good for the mind and body, you have to think about it, it is much better to face the reality, communicate with your parents more, say your own thoughts, and let him talk about their worries; Let them understand your thoughts, let them know that you have the ability to think for yourself, make judgments, have grown up, and don't want to be under their arms all the time, and you need to exercise. Of course, you also have to accept their concerns and think about them, after all, they have a lot of experience and a lot of consideration.

Don't be preconceived. Parents who anticipate rebellious feelings or emotions in their teens are actually provoking such emotions. Parents should not try to suppress their children as soon as they see signs of independence, fearing that the slightest concession will lead their children astray.

The more violently and excessively parents react, the more children will insist on their opinions; If parents forcibly suppress it, then a major conflict is inevitable. Psychologists advise parents that there is no such thing as an inevitable pattern of adolescent behavior, and there is no such thing as a typical teenager. Your child grows taller, stronger, and maturer, and if you don't look at him with colored glasses, but think that he was born that way, then your son or daughter will behave in the same way that he has been raised, and become a good boy for you.

Maintain your status as a parent. Parents should be friends with their children, trust each other, and enjoy happiness together, but this friendship is not a coincidence of status, it is absolutely "equal". You can still be a captain, you can listen to the crew, but in the end it's yours who will set the course.