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Mother-in-law is the mother of the husband, you need to maintain the relationship, the mother-in-law is an important person in your life, when you take care of the work and can't take care of the child, she is the first choice, don't first bring your own mother into your small family, when it comes to blood relationship, the mother-in-law is closer to the grandson, she is not willing to help you take care of the child, you let the child's grandmother, the order must be.
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Whether it is a mother-in-law or a mother, if she is willing to sacrifice personal time to help you manage the rear, it is your blessing, the family has an old treasure, your respect and love for her, she will also have feelings and return to your small family, the necessary means to maintain the relationship is to remember to buy some intimate gifts on your birthday, in front of people to praise her more pay, express gratitude, although there are some elements of show, although the Oscar will not give you awards, but your efforts and recognition, the elderly will definitely return to your small family, After all, although there are difficult old people, most of them are reasonable.
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The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has always been very difficult to handle, and I have a friend who has been divorced twice because of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Her mother-in-law lost her husband very early, and it was really hard to pull her eldest son, a daughter and two children alone. The son married a daughter-in-law and lived with his mother-in-law, the son was very filial, the mother-in-law was a feudal parent, the son should move the chopsticks first when eating, the daughter-in-law should wash the mother-in-law and her husband first, and finally wash her own clothes, and so on.
After a long time, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law were on the same page, and they divorced after less than a year of marriage. Later, he remarried, and divorced more than a year later, and it was still a problem with the relationship between his mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
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Simplifying the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. The existing relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is artificially emphasized by the family relationship, resulting in tension between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, a woman walks into a strange family because of her husband's marriage, except for her husband, everyone else can be said to be a stranger to her, but the traditional family moral relationship mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship suddenly defined the two women who were originally strangers to the mother, and there was continuous conflict and friction in the later stage, which is purely a reverse misleading; The normal relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should be in the way of getting along with strangers, in line with the principle of equality and mutual assistance, mutual understanding and mutual respect.
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The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been difficult to deal with since ancient times, for many reasons, and the situation of each family is different, there is no unified model, mainly a problem of mentality, the mother-in-law has good conditions and looks down on the daughter-in-law's family, and the daughter-in-law has good conditions and looks down on the mother-in-law, and each other puts down the material conditions, the mother-in-law treats the daughter-in-law as her daughter-in-law, and the daughter-in-law also treats the mother-in-law as her own old man, and the father-in-law and mother-in-law treat the son-in-law as their own old man, and the father-in-law and mother-in-law treat the son-in-law as their own son-in-law, tolerate each other, and humble that the life is not bad. How can you handle the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law?
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Mother-in-law is not a mother, be polite to her Mother is the one who gave birth to you and raised you, all your willfulness and pampering are raised by her, she will tolerate all your shortcomings and magnify all your advantages, but mother-in-law will not. After your mother-in-law touches you, she will only look at you with normal eyes, and she will even be a little more critical, and it is best not to bring your little willfulness to your husband.
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Be filial and polite, since you have married into someone else's family, don't feel that your mother-in-law is not the one who gave birth to herself and raised herself, after all, because of her, there is a man you love. Although the mother-in-law is not a mother, you must treat her as a mother, she is an elder, you must accommodate her appropriately and listen to her opinions.
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The husband is the glue of the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship, the most critical person in the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship is the husband, take 10,000 steps back, if you have a difficult mother-in-law, you must communicate with your husband at this time, some things let him come forward to communicate, that is, the communication is not ideal, and finally you have to take a stand in front of your husband, let your husband regret it, don't let your husband be caught in the middle of both sides, a capable and sensible daughter-in-law will not let the family make the chickens and dogs jump, a smoky home, tired of dealing with the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law The husband will often deviate from morality, In the end, he fled far away, which was also the most unbearable result.
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A good mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship is enviable, there are some problems and contradictions between husband and wife, and the old man who can be a mother-in-law will accuse and educate his son and go to his daughter-in-law. A sensible mother-in-law will teach her daughter a lesson. As a child in self-examination, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not incompatible, understanding is both sides, filial piety cannot be unreasonable, mutual understanding and harmony get along, home is not a reasonable place, win the reason and lose family affection and love.
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Mother-in-law's family conditions are good, now young people are too materialistic, we were married at that time and our parents had nothing, according to the mother-in-law is good, never open to say mother-in-law This is not that no, today's young people's mother-in-law has done all the things in their lives, and when the time comes, they don't even dare to enter the door, they are speechless to the young people now, we only have one doll, if there is more than one girl, it will not be so miserable.
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Mother-in-law is someone else's mother, whose mother-in-law is daughter-in-law? Is the man's mother important, but the baby's mother is not important? Don't kidnap morality, since ancient times, mother-in-law bullied daughter-in-law, in today's society, daughter-in-law will not be so stupid to be bullied by others!
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For the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, I first want to say: why should women be embarrassed by women!! For your mother-in-law, you have been a daughter-in-law for many years, why can't you understand your daughter-in-law?
For the daughter-in-law who buried the limbs, you just started to boil, and one day you will also become a mother-in-law, why bother so hard?!!
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law may be a relatively bad relationship at present, mainly because of the large difference in thinking between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, mother-in-law is too self-controlled, daughter-in-law is too self-sufficient, does not give in to each other, and the original prejudices, etc., I think that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can be understood from the following three aspects:
First of all, your in-laws are elders, and they are equivalent to your own parents, so you should respect your in-laws, and at the same time you should be humble, after all, your in-laws and your thinking are quite different, so it is normal to have some different opinions, as a junior, you should learn to take a step back;
Second, if there is a problem, we must understand the essence of the problem, if it is wrong, we should take the initiative to admit that it is wrong, if it is the mother-in-law who is wrong, do not ignore it, after all, the people born in their era are very different from modern young people in terms of thinking and way of thinking, but one thing is certain, they are also the younger generations of the world, although their words or ways are somewhat inappropriate, but we do not need to be judged;
Third, when it comes to this kind of situation, I think you should let your husband communicate with your mother-in-law, your husband is your mother-in-law's son, no matter what your husband says and does, your mother-in-law can tolerate and understand, but if you come forward, it is easy to cause your mother-in-law's unhappiness, because she will think that my son didn't say anything about me, you want to say it for life, so as a daughter-in-law, you must talk about ways and means, as a daughter-in-law, don't be too strong, care about your mother-in-law's affairs, try your best to do it, if you encounter a problem, try to let your husband come forward to communicate, This is the art of singing a red face and a white face!
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Since ancient times, most of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been difficult to get along with, if you can communicate well, you can get along well, if you really can't, don't reluctantly wronged yourself.
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See how your husband treats you? If you two are in harmony, you don't have to worry about the old woman.
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As a daughter-in-law, you should respect and care for your mother-in-law. According to a survey conducted by relevant departments, the daughter-in-law is now the "ruling power" in most families, so the daughter-in-law bears the primary responsibility in resolving the conflict between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law. As a daughter-in-law, you should pay attention to respecting and caring for your mother-in-law, discuss with the elderly more in case of trouble, try to be "economic openness", and give your mother-in-law some pocket money regularly or irregularly.
Every season, or mother-in-law's birthday, remember to prepare some gifts for your mother-in-law. Usually, if a daughter-in-law sends food and food to her mother, it is best to prepare a copy for her mother-in-law at the same time. It is necessary to take care of the physiological and psychological characteristics of the elderly, often cook some foods that the mother-in-law likes to eat, and eat at the same table as a family.
To respect and care for your mother-in-law, you must also learn to adapt to your mother-in-law. Most of the mothers-in-law came from the old society, and sometimes there are some traces of the old in their thoughts, lives, and habits. The daughter-in-law is relatively new-minded, and it is often difficult to understand the habits of the mother-in-law, so some actions often cause the mother-in-law to be disgusted, thus causing the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to be incompatible.
In this case, the daughter-in-law should pay attention to self-control and try to take care of the temperament and habits of the elderly.
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Hello, contemptible people think that in traditional Chinese culture, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the relationship between natural enemies.
The journey of life is high and wide, and the end of the world is far away; And we are always easy to get lost, so that we make wrong choices, but no matter what kind of mistakes, as long as we have the courage to bear and correct, it is not too bad. Buddhism has clouds: the sea of bitterness is boundless, and the shore is turned back.
No matter how far we go and how wrong we are, as long as we are willing to turn back, there will always be a better way out.
To err is human; Moreover, making mistakes is indispensable for a long life; Life needs to make mistakes, because there are mistakes, will be self-introspective, self-awakening, self-realization; So as to be better treated with life. Don't doubt your own ability because of a momentary mistake, and don't deny other people's lives because of a momentary mistake, people live a lifetime, not because of a mistake can be changed. Don't be easily discouraged and compromised, because all the mistakes today are indispensable tests in life, and they are also for that more wonderful tomorrow.
Life in the world, always good and bad, right and wrong intersect; There is no need to be sad about some things and mistakes, and there is no need to panic when some roads and mistakes are taken. The journey of life is long, there will always be some ups and downs on the road, and there will always be some mistakes and regrets. We should be glad that on the journey ahead, every mistake is another growth in life, and we can only find our own right direction by constantly exploring and making mistakes.
May he do his best in his work.
Good luck.
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The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the most difficult relationship to deal with, in China, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are a pair of natural enemies, in fact, there are problems to deal with all over the world, why is the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in China more difficult to deal with? In fact, it is not the generation gap problem that we often say, nor the problem of mother-son closeness that we often say, because mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law all over the world have similar problems. Therefore, the relationship between Chinese mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is more difficult to deal with, which is produced by different traditions and cultures in China and abroad, and the root causes are mainly in the following three aspects:
First, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live together. The most basic pattern of marriage between men and women in China is that the woman marries the man and lives with the man's family, which is an extremely important source of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law that is difficult to deal with. Let's imagine, it turns out that the man's family has formed a basic balance relationship after years of running-in, and now, suddenly a daughter-in-law breaks in and joins this family member, which naturally destroys the original balance.
This is just like an alien organism, coming to a new place, if the mill wants to grow well, then naturally it will grow savagely, but its arrival has broken the original ecological balance, if the alien creatures grow well, then the original inherent organisms cannot grow well, so that there is a process of forming a new ecological balance, and in the process of forming a new ecological balance, there is a cruel struggle of nature. Therefore, the daughter-in-law marries into the door, to form a tacit family relationship, then naturally there is a run-in process, and the daughter-in-law as a new family member, she must find a sense of belonging to the family, but in the process of showing her style, it will inevitably overshadow the edge of other family members, in this way, it will form a contradiction between the tip of the needle and the tip of the bucket, once it is not dealt with, it will form a family struggle, in this struggle, because the son has been listening to the mother, and now, the daughter-in-law has joined, In this way, there is an embarrassing environment, no matter which side the son stands on, the other party will feel wronged, if it is the mother-in-law, she will think that she married her daughter-in-law and lost her son, and the daughter-in-law will think that I am your wife, how can you favor your mother, not to mention, in this family member, there are not only mother-in-law, sons and daughters-in-law, but also father-in-law, sister-in-law or brother-in-law, etc., they naturally want to stand on the mother-in-law's side. Therefore, the daughter-in-law will feel aggrieved and think that they are a family dealing with her.
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The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been an unsolved problem for thousands of years. I think there will be conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, more because they both want to be the mistress of this house. Many things, as long as you figure it out, a lot of troubles will be solved.
After all, my mother-in-law is not my own mother
Our own mother will give to us unreservedly, when you are not married at home, and your parents quarrel, your parents will tolerate and forgive you for being rude, lazy and willful. Although you will quarrel occasionally, the blood relationship makes you inseparable, no matter how willful you are, no matter how unreasonable you are, you are their child in the hearts of your parents.
ButMother-in-law is not the person who gave birth to you and raised you, and you have no blood relationship and emotional foundation, so she does not take your contribution for granted, we must learn to be grateful, learn to empathize, she takes care of your children, and also helps you share some of the pressure。SoGive your mother-in-law some money during the New Year's holidays, occasionally buy a piece of clothing or supplements, and chat and talk with her.
Don't try to change her
My mother-in-law has lived for most of her life, and many ideas and living habits have been deeply rooted. She likes to be verbose, pointing, and don't worry too much about it as long as she doesn't have any bad intentions. Maybe it's because of our different identities, feelings, and mentality, it's easy to be more serious with our mother-in-law, but in fact, our parents at home will be the same, so we will adjust our mentality and accept her, without being too serious.
If she really can't stand many of her living habits, then move your small family out, or build a comfortable house for your mother-in-law in her hometown; If it's a meal she cooks that you don't like, make your own food.
Don't force your husband to take a stand
For the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, if you can resolve it yourself, you can resolve it yourself, and don't have to pull your husband to make a clear statement. No matter how bad his parents are, but after all, they are also the parents who gave birth to him and raised him, and it is impossible to make it like a family war because of a little problem, after a long time, your husband will only think about escaping or disgusting, because there is really no way to choose one or the other.
Each family's living habits, consumption concepts, etc. are different, try to accept it, others will not easily change their habits for decades because of you, find a way to change what you can't accept, don't be sad if you can't change, just deal with it calmly.
Establish the concept of "love the house and the black", sublimate the love for his lover to his parents and family, and care for his mother-in-law from the subtleties. Adhere to the principle of "always stand by your mother-in-law's side", try to echo your mother-in-law, and make your mother-in-law feel that you are more towards her than her own son, so that you can quickly change from a "supernumerary" to a "supernumerary". When there is a big disagreement, take proper care of the mother-in-law's emotions, accept defeat, put yourself in the mother-in-law's shoes, and the mother-in-law will be harmonious.
There is no right or wrong between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, only who is better at dealing with problems and differences in life >>>More
Since ancient times, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has actually been very delicate, if the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not very good, you can try to let a third person enter to interfere, it can be other relatives, or it can be a neighbor with a good relationship, and you should understand and tolerate each other with your mother-in-law, and respect each other.
My mother-in-law is very nice and outspoken, she cooks before giving birth, and I sometimes help wash the dishes. We live in two units in the same building. After giving birth, my in-laws hired an aunt to watch the baby all day, my mother-in-law hired an aunt to cook for me, my mother-in-law is happy to do her own body to play poker and mahjong every day, she will also say bluntly that she is going to play, but if I say when I want to go out today, she will quickly push off the card game to help me watch the baby, I feel particularly warm, just like my mother.
When the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is like a mother-daughter relationship, this is a very good, pleasant experience, generally mothers are better to their daughters, mother-in-law treats you as a daughter, which means that she loves you very much!