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I'm willing to take it myself, no matter how hard I work, I will guide me if my mother-in-law is willing, but I still do it myself, and I amuse the child to raise it myself, of course, she will not abuse the baby, but let the old man take it, the kind of intergenerational pet and so on The child is a little older, it will be obvious in this child, at that time, the mother will deeply realize that this child is not the mother's son and daughter, but the mother-in-law's grandson, this emotional gap will be very painful, the child who takes and who kisses this is the law, If the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good, it is necessary to pay more attention, I have a colleague, the child gave birth to the mother-in-law to take it, at first she was very grateful to the mother-in-law, but when the child is older, she found that the big thing is not good, this child is angry with the mother-in-law, this is the mother-in-law has no position, why bother The elderly are more experienced in life, yes, young people must not try to save trouble and throw all the old people, the old people are old, their energy is declining, and the children are noisy, There will always be the kind of thing that the old man can't hold the child and can't watch the child fall and touch, so that the old man has experience in tutoring, but things still have to be done by themselves, and don't expect the old man to really have so much energy to bear all the burden, the child should be raised by himself if he wants to give birth to himself, and young people are easy to accept some new good ideas in parenting, and they will not over-pamper the child, which is better for the child.
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If all conditions allow, it is best to bring the baby by yourself
If all conditions allow, it is best to bring the baby by yourself and grow up with it every day.
Not only can we avoid all kinds of conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, avoid the wrong concept of parenting and delay children, but also the children who grow up with their parents will develop healthier physically and mentally.
Article **7 If the reality does not allow you to take the baby, and the mother-in-law helps to take the baby, you must understand each other more
If the family is under great financial pressure, or the parents are busy with work, and can only help the in-laws take care of the children, then ask them to help take care of the children.
1.In terms of lifestyle habits.
The living environment of the older generation is not the same since childhood, and there will naturally be a lot of differences in living habits, some old people are not so particular about hygiene, and now many novice parents are "clean type", and it is easy to have contradictions in this regard.
Fortunately, "habits can be changed", communicate more with the elderly, and gradually help them correct them, and develop good hygiene habits; However, young parents should also lower their requirements for the elderly appropriately, and it would be good to run in a comfortable degree for each other.
Article **82In terms of the concept of bringing a baby.
Some old people are very stubborn and think that their views are correct, but they do not agree with the current views of scientific parenting, so they will cause conflicts due to different concepts.
With the help of authority, change the concept of the elderly.
For example, during pregnancy, buy some parenting books to read to your in-laws in advance, or take them to listen to some parenting lectures, and consult doctors in time when they encounter problems in the process of raising babies, so as to gradually correct their unscientific parenting concepts.
Moreover, usually in the process of bringing the baby, if you find that the old man's method of bringing the baby is wrong, you should communicate with the old man in time, and remind them more kindly to help them correct it.
Article **9 The whole family is involved and refuses to "widowed parenting".
Raising children is the responsibility and obligation of the husband and wife, the elderly can come to help bring, but can not completely rely on the elderly, or the father completely stands aside, the growth of the child needs complete love and companionship, both parents, neither of which can be absent.
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I am often a problem of people's concepts, although there is a difference of twenty or thirty years between a generation and a generation, but the ideological concepts are much different, and many times, what we see is that the mother-in-law takes special care of her grandchildren, which is beyond the normal range, and over time, it may lead to the pampering of children, which is not conducive to healthy development.
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The mother is reluctant to hand over the child to the mother-in-law, there are several reasons, the first is that the relationship with the mother-in-law is not good, do not trust the mother-in-law, second, some of the mother-in-law's practices make the mother feel at ease, afraid that the mother-in-law will not be able to take the child, third, the education concept of the two generations is different, the gap is very big and do not want the mother-in-law to take it.
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1. The role of the mother cannot be replaced by the elderly.
The mother is the closest person to the child, and the child can be affected by the mother's mood when the child is still a fetus. With the company of the mother, the child's life can be considered complete. With the company of the mother, the child will have enough security.
With the company of the mother, the child will be happy every day. The elderly are also relatives of the children, but not the closest people. That kind of security is something that the elderly can't give.
2. Mother's education will make the child have a good character.
When it comes to the elderly with children, all that comes to mind is that the elderly will spoil their children. It is also true that many elderly people will be unconditionally accustomed to their children. The old man will take care of everything for the child and not let the child do anything.
Of course, the old man is for the good of the child, but this is harming the child. Under the education of the elderly, such a big child can't do even the most basic things. Children will not be independent, they only know how to rely on others.
3. Mother's education will make children develop good habits.
It is said that the old man is very accustomed to children, does not let children do anything, and unconditionally meets any requirements of children. This will lead to the child's bad habit of getting something for nothing, and then a selfish personality. And although my mother is very gentle many times, she is still very strict when she should be strict.
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The mother is reluctant to hand over the child to the mother-in-law, because there is no blood relationship between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law, and then many hygiene habits and parenting concepts between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are different, so there is a disagreement on this very important issue. Of course, I don't feel at ease.
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Why are many mothers reluctant to give their babies to their mothers-in-law? The main reason for this is because the mother-in-law loves the child more (that is, the so-called intergenerational parent), and the baby will be accommodating everywhere when the baby is handed over to the mother-in-law, and everything is tolerated, and the child is happy, but one bad thing is that it is easy to get used to a lot of bad habits, and it is difficult to correct it in the future, so many mothers are reluctant to hand over their children to their mother-in-law. On the other hand, I don't want to affect the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law because of the child, because the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is difficult to get along with.
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Many mothers are reluctant to hand over their babies to their mothers-in-law, mainly because the elderly are old, there is a generation gap with their children, and they have not done enough in life and education.
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Many mothers are reluctant to hand over their babies to their mothers-in-law, the most important thing is that they are not at ease with their mother-in-law.
It's not that I'm worried that my mother-in-law will be bad for the baby, but I'm afraid that my mother-in-law's parenting concept is backward and that the baby will be offended for no reason.
The main thing is the difference in the concept of hygiene. Mother-in-law is generally empiricist, while many mothers believe in what is said in parenting books, that is, modern parenting concepts, Western parenting concepts.
For example, some mothers-in-law like to chew the food and feed the baby, which is unacceptable to the mothers anyway, the mothers will feel unhygienic and have bacteria, and the mother-in-law will think that this is how I raised your husband, and there is no illness or disaster, why do you think my mouth is not clean?
For example, some mothers-in-law will take the baby to [pick the chancre], and the mother, as a doctor who studies clinical medicine, cannot accept the concept of chancre, and will feel extremely indignant and incredible when the baby's fingers are deliberately punctured, and there are skin lesions and grievances.
Most mothers-in-law will dote on the baby and respond to the baby's needs, but do not pay attention to let the baby develop good habits, which is also a big problem for many mothers.
Under multiple standards, the baby will automatically look for the one that is most beneficial to him, which will make the baby prematurely utilitarian, dependent, and not good for the baby's character training.
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The problem of children's educational concepts, as well as the relationship between the two parties, is easy to have conflicts in terms of children.
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1.Responsibility: Some people believe that it is their responsibility for mothers-in-law to take care of their children, because they are the grandmothers of their children and should care for and take care of their children. In the traditional family concept, this sense of responsibility is important.
2.Obligation: Others believe that the mother-in-law is not obligated to take the baby. They have the option to help, but it is not a statutory duty. They also have other important responsibilities in their lives, such as taking care of their families, work or personal interests.
3.Choice: There is also an opinion that this feast should be a choice between family members.
The mother-in-law can decide whether to participate in bringing the baby according to her own wishes and abilities. In this case, it is crucial to have good communication between family members in order to find the best solution.
4.Family affection: Finally, many people believe that the mother-in-law taking the baby after marriage is not just a responsibility or obligation, but a manifestation of family affection. The mother-in-law cares and loves her grandchild or granddaughter and is willing to help and care for the child as he or she grows up.
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1. If there is no one to take care of the children, you can resign and stay at home and take care of the children full-time. As a mother, there are many benefits to taking care of children, which can deepen the relationship and feelings between mothers and children, and it is also *** to take care of children by yourself. Mothers take care of their children in person, so that children have more sense of security and satisfaction.
From the perspective of parenting, it is a very good choice to take care of your own children.
2. You can ask for a babysitter. The mother-in-law belt and the nanny belt are the same. It's nothing more than spending more. As for the money, it may not matter, because you want to be psychologically satisfied and don't want to live with your mother-in-law, so finding a nanny is also a good choice.
3. If you don't want to live with your mother-in-law, you can live with your mother. You can let the mother help take care of the child, and the grandmother and the grandmother are the same. This way, I won't worry about it, I don't want to live with my mother-in-law.
Another advantage of mothers helping to take care of children is that mothers and daughters are still very familiar with each other, and they can tolerate each other if they have any problems.
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People with children are solved as follows:
1. If there is no one to take care of the children, you can resign and stay at home and take care of the children full-time.
There are many benefits to taking care of your children by yourself as a mother, which can deepen the relationship and affection between mothers and children. Mothers take care of their children in person, so that children have more sense of security and satisfaction. From the perspective of parenting, it is a very good choice to take care of your own children.
2. You can ask for a babysitter.
The mother-in-law belt and the nanny belt are the same. It's nothing more than spending more. As for the money, it may not matter, because I want to meet the psychological quarrel and don't want to live with my mother-in-law, so finding a nanny is also a good choice.
3. If you don't want to live with your mother-in-law, you can live with your mother. You can let the mother help take care of the child, grandma and grandma are the same. This way, I won't worry about it, I don't want to live with my mother-in-law.
There is another advantage of mothers helping to take care of children, that is, mothers and daughters are still very familiar with each other, and they can tolerate each other if there is any problem.
Precautions with children.
The first thing you need to pay attention to when taking a baby is the safety of the baby, the baby does not have much so-called danger awareness, but they are full of curiosity and exploration of everything around them, parents are not careful to let the baby fall into unknown danger.
Therefore, the safety of the baby is the primary issue, pay attention to the baby, do not let the baby out of their sight, at home also need to pay attention to electrical appliances, knives, hot water, stairs, balconies and other dangerous places of safety protection measures.
on 1 Feb 2023
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The reason may be that the mother-in-law feels that the mother-in-law is wrong about the way of taking care of the child, and the second is that there is a conflict between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law, and it is easy to quarrel because of disagreement, and the child may be scared after the quarrel.
In fact, after giving birth to a child, women hope that someone can help them share the burden of taking care of the child, because after giving birth to a child, the body is still recovering, and it is very hard to take care of the child, and often have to stay up late to feed. But there will still be many mothers who don't like their mother-in-law to help take care of children, probably because they feel that their mother-in-law has problems with the way and education of children, especially many elderly people actually take children in the wrong way, and it will also lead to some behaviors that cause harm to children's physical health. At the same time, the old man will also feel that he has raised children, and he is very experienced in raising his own children, and he is unwilling to accept others telling him that his way of raising a baby is wrong and will be more stubborn.
The second is that the relationship between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law is relatively stiff, and the relationship between the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law will still have a distance no matter how close it is, and some mothers also hope to get along more with their children. After all, every mother hopes that her child can be the closest to herself, and when her child is always better with others, she will be jealous. And the situation that the mother is most afraid of is that the mother-in-law and herself have different ways of bringing the baby, and it is easy to quarrel, but it is not possible to determine who is right, but she does not want to affect the child because of this quarrel.
In fact, the mother is very hard, and she should ask her mother-in-law to help take care of the child, because in this way she can relax a little, after all, it is really hard to take care of the child, and the father cannot always be by her side. If there is a real disagreement, you can choose to take a step back, at least on the premise of the child's health. And when there is a quarrel, let the child's father come to the middle to be a conciliator.
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If it's hard to bring, you have to find a way, as long as you have patience, you can definitely bring it. Usually try not to let the baby freeze, no matter how much you make a fuss in good health, you will not be physically and mentally exhausted. Eat well in the morning, take it out for a walk at noon, and start taking a nap after lunch, the day is actually quite easy to pass.
The temperature in the normal room is 18 to 22 degrees, the most comfortable temperature for the elderly is 22 to 24 degrees, if it is a premature baby, the temperature should be higher, 24 degrees to 26 degrees, generally normal room with a baby, 22 to 24 degrees is the most suitable, the humidity is 50 to 60%, in this temperature space, the baby will not feel dry, will not feel wet, the baby's metabolism is relatively vigorous, too high temperature will increase his irritability, prickly heat, The baby's own thermoregulatory center is not perfect, and too low a temperature will cause him to have a low body temperature.