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Keep your distance, neither humble nor arrogant. My mother-in-law has a strong personality, and so do I. When I go to my mother-in-law's house, I respect her habits, and I don't express my opinion on some things.
Only in terms of parenting, I am not optimistic about what she is doing, and I will generally say it directly. The others are all turning a blind eye, and if there is no conflict, there will be no conflict. My mother-in-law has a strong personality, she always loves to control me, but I don't like to be managed, so sometimes I don't like to listen to her talk, and I may reply.
My husband, father-in-law, and brother-in-law are all afraid of her, but I am not afraid of her. I won't let myself be wronged in my in-law's house, I never want to take a step back, I feel like it's a fart, if you take a step back, she will go further. I am who provokes me and who I scold, they all know what kind of temper I have, so they are polite to me.
Anyway, my mother-in-law is not a mother, so it's good to be polite.
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My mother-in-law and I can only say that we respect each other like guests, and we can't be like mother and daughter! In the countryside, she is recognized by everyone as a capable woman! The family is a good hand in the field, and can also tailor clothes, embroider and make shoes, and has a bit of a strong personality, just my husband is a boy, she is more concerned about our affairs.
The contradiction appears here, and it is even more prominent after having children, she always thinks that she is recognized as capable and an elder, and what she decides is right. I'm going to have to listen to her. Although my personality doesn't like to talk, I am also very stubborn, and in the face of a strong mother-in-law, I don't say anything on my lips, but I also have resentment in my heart.
At first, I quarreled with her, and her response was to yell more fiercely, and most people in the countryside felt that as long as there was a conflict between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the spearhead was directed at the daughter-in-law. Then some non-objective labels were put on the daughter-in-law, after all, is it the first to come? The mother-in-law is a celebrity in the village, and the daughter-in-law is just a newcomer!
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It's too tiring to get along carefully, your mother-in-law treats you well, you treat her better, she treats you badly, and she says too much, but don't be too much, after all, it is an elder, and the respect that should be given is still to be given, and some old people are too good at pretending, in front of their son, they are very good to their daughter-in-law, at this time you have to pretend, especially good to your mother-in-law, I didn't do a good job, causing my husband to think that her mother treats me very well, and I don't appreciate it, I looked at her at that time and pretended to be very angry, I didn't control my emotions, don't be too bearable, Endure it, he thinks it's not good if you are a bully.
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Respect each other, when there is a problem, don't care about small problems, don't worry about them, and don't encounter too big problems. Remember, your mother-in-law has no obligation to you, it is her duty to be good to you, and it is her duty to be a person if she is not good.
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Although most mothers-in-law will say to their daughter-in-law when they first enter the door, I will treat you like a daughter-in-law, that being said, you must not really do that. We can be willful and angry with our own mother, and when you are a mother, you will not really take it to heart, but if you change to a mother-in-law, you will try it again, and you will be beaten into the eighteenth layer of hell in minutes. Mother-in-law is unhappy, will there still be a good life for you?
Therefore, it is necessary to keep an appropriate distance from your mother-in-law, which is basic politeness and respect. This way, the mother-in-law will neither feel offended nor left out. That is, it is not intimate or cold, politeness and respect are just right.
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It is very common for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to have discord, the mother-in-law thinks that you have robbed her son, and the daughter-in-law thinks that the mother-in-law does not treat herself as her own. I also have an unreasonable mother-in-law, these things of yours are not a matter in my opinion, if the mother-in-law returns to her mother's house during the Dragon Boat Festival and you cares about it, it means that she is not an enlightened mother-in-law, and most mothers-in-law are not fuel-efficient lamps, usually she says don't worry about her, get angry and hurt her body, she will be happy to see that you are not doing well, so you have to make yourself live well, you have to do a good job in the reason, so as not to leave others to speak, and outsiders will not say that you are not after a long time. Of course, your husband also has to help adjust the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in the middle.
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Therefore, when a daughter-in-law encounters something, she should be considerate of her mother-in-law, even if she does something inappropriate, she can understand it, which mother is not looking forward to her children being happy. Therefore, in the usual relationship, we must learn to empathize, stand in the other party's position, and understand the cause and effect of what happened and the ins and outs of what happened from the other party's point of view. In this way, there will be no misunderstanding due to lack of understanding.
Once there is a misunderstanding, the daughter-in-law should also take the initiative to resolve it, so as not to further intensify the conflict.
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If you can't be together, you won't be together, if you really can't avoid it, just listen to what she says, even if you do something wrong, there is no need to take it to heart and get angry, after all, there is a generation gap, and it is her son who is in trouble with contradictions, so more is better than less things, how she treats you, you treat her the same way, just respect.
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I respect her, she loves me, and we have a very good relationship. I'm busy at work, she will wait for me to come home and cook for me, the two of us will go shopping together, she will buy me a set of skin care products, and the food will be left for me, I am very happy to have such a mother-in-law.
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The overall harmony is good, and my mother-in-law with the baby can reduce the friction between me and my husband very much! Hahahahaha.
I especially want my mother-in-law to bring me a baby, so that I can have my own time.
The premise of harmony depends on the consistency of my three views with my mother-in-law, everyone is kind and simple, hardworking and capable, hard-working, responsible, caring, able to understand each other's selfishness, and ordinary economic conditions.
How to get along after the run-in:
1.Whatever my mother-in-law proposes, as long as it can be done, I will mainly use her suggestions;
2.My mother-in-law doesn't care about my idle affairs, whether she buys clothes, receives couriers, how to put things at home, buys things at home, goes to work or not, etc., she doesn't interfere;
3.With the baby, there is something to discuss and dissipate. If the baby is sick, do not blame and blame both parties;
4.There is no money contradiction for the time being. Compared with the grandmother, the red envelope given to the baby is almost the same;
5.The mother-in-law is very diligent, and the division of labor and cooperation in housework has become a model.
6.Be considerate of each other. My mother-in-law obviously did a lot of answers, so I shared the burden and took care of it; My hand was cut, so my mother-in-law took the initiative to wash the dishes;
7.Integrate into the original family, take the initiative to take the mobile phone to let the mother-in-law and father-in-law**, and let the grandfather see the grandson (my husband never takes the initiative to talk to his father**). When I have time, I chat with my mother-in-law, talk about people and things in my hometown, express my opinions, and see if the three views are compatible.
8.My mother-in-law can't let go of things in our small family, and she asks me about everything, and she is annoyed at first (for example, when you buy pork, you have to ask me if you can't get over the water). Later, I took the initiative to tell my mother-in-law, what are you doing, and the tone of the discussion is tactful.
9.It's not strong, it's pretty much fine. It's all easy to talk about, and everything is easy to discuss. They all reason, who listens to whom. Whose territory is in charge (back to my hometown, I listen to my mother-in-law in everything, the premise is right).
10.The husband is very important, not a mother's treasure man, and the husband sometimes scolds the father-in-law. I discussed with my husband about the small family, and informed my mother-in-law and father-in-law of the result. Sometimes there are different opinions, my husband, me and my mother-in-law, who listens to whom, whose arrangement is good to listen to whom.
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When getting along with your mother-in-law, you still have to take care of your mother-in-law's emotions, and the corresponding mother-in-law will also feel that you take care of her. In fact, no matter what the age gap is, as long as you have a more concerned heart, your mother-in-law is still better for you. Don't think of him as an old-fashioned old man.
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I get along with my mother-in-law, and the biggest feeling is that if you don't agree with what the other party says, then we don't refute him face to face, we can say it tactfully, but don't have a head-on conflict with her.
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It is very troublesome to get along with your mother-in-law, because your mother-in-law can't scold, and once things are not done well, your mother-in-law will point fingers, so it is very uncomfortable to get along with your mother-in-law.
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1.Respect for mother-in-law, between people, and most importantly, for each other, for strangers, for friends, for family. Treat your mother-in-law wisely.
2.Compromise with your mother-in-law appropriately and get along with your mother-in-law for a long time, and you will inevitably encounter quarrels. A wise woman will not expand this war, but let it smoke.
3.During the holidays, she will buy gifts for her mother-in-law, and smart women know how to "buy" people's hearts with material things. When it comes to an important holiday, or your mother-in-law's birthday, you.
4.If you don't speak ill of your husband in front of your mother-in-law, no mother wants to hear others scold her son, not even her daughter-in-law.
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I will buy some gifts for each other, but I will not do housework, and I will work hard, work hard to make money, and I will talk well to each other, etc., so I will get along with my mother-in-law in this way.
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First of all, let's separate from my mother-in-law, so as to reduce the conflict between my mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. The phrase "far fragrant and smelly" is really too realistic, there are always contradictions in getting along for a long time, and it is good for everyone to be separated.
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It is best to keep a certain distance between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and then send some fruits, snacks or something to your mother-in-law every weekend or festival, and then help with some housework, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will naturally be more harmonious.
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I will be at peace with my mother-in-law, and if she is particularly nice to me, I will be nice to her, and if she treats me badly, I will treat her in the same way.
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Actually, I personally don't like to get along with my mother-in-law, if I have to get along with my mother-in-law, I will think that if he is good to me, then we will get along well, if he is not good to me, then I will ignore him.
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I will treat my mother-in-law as my mother, because I think it will be more harmonious to get along this way, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is also very good.
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How to get along with your mother-in-law is to deal with your mother-in-law as your own biological mother, so that the relationship between your mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will be harmonious.
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I will treat her as my own mother, there is no difference between my mother-in-law and my mother-in-law, I treat everyone equally, and I usually take more time to spend with her, chat with him, enhance my relationship with her, and go shopping with her.
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I think it is necessary for the two generations with a generation gap to maintain relative personal space, and at the same time to know how to be humble and respect each other in daily life.
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I will respect my mother-in-law's opinion in every way. Think about the problem from the mother-in-law's point of view. Then speak to your mother-in-law in a cordial tone and will buy gifts for her.
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Of course, you can get along well, and you can get along as well as you can, otherwise it will be very embarrassing to be under the same roof.
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I believe in one thing, no matter whether I suffer a loss or take advantage, the first thing is to ensure that my heart is comfortable and smooth. Just imagine living under one roof, even strangers, become a little emotional. What's more, it's my husband's mother, the two women can't tolerate it, and my husband is also very sad.
One more point, husband, because of you, I am willing to choose tolerance. Therefore, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is good or bad, and my husband's way of doing things accounts for a large extent, such as me, I am willing to tolerate my mother-in-law for my husband. Of course, my mother-in-law also tolerated me because she felt sorry for her son.
This is also a result that I am very satisfied with.
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How to get along with his mother-in-law, the best way is for him to be good to himself, and he can be good to him in his heart, hope.
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Mother-in-law is also her own family, and it is not wrong to treat her as if she were her own mother.
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Put yourself in the other person's shoes and think about how the other person would feel when they heard the sentence or the event.
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I get along with my mother-in-law, and I will treat her like my own mother, and treat her as honest and sincere as my own family.
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For getting along with your mother-in-law, you must have it, although it is an exaggeration, but it does require a certain amount of wisdom to do well.
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First, you need to relax your heart
In fact, as a daughter-in-law, we need to be generous, because on many issues, mothers-in-law actually thought for our good at the beginning, and their starting point was kind.
If we can be casual, and at the same time try to understand our mother-in-law as much as possible, maybe we won't hate our mother-in-law so much, your mother-in-law is also from someone else's daughter-in-law, so there is no need for girls to hurt each other, then it is recommended that you can relax your heart, otherwise it will lead to very serious family problems, so this is very important, if we can not care so much, this can get along well.
Second, understand your mother-in-law more
In fact, in the family relationship, although it is a family, but still need to understand each other, mother-in-law may be because of the problem of age, and our ideas are a lot different, then at this time we actually need to be tolerant, understand more about their mother-in-law, then this will actually be better, family and everything is prosperous, this is important, do not make the mother-in-law problem more serious.
Otherwise, it is also very bad for your husband and wife relationship, so this is very important, when we hate our mother-in-law, in fact, we really need to think about it, many relationships can be melted and solved, so you don't need to worry too much. Give your mother-in-law a little more understanding, maybe you can influence your mother-in-law, and then your mother-in-law will treat you like a daughter.
3. Sit down and have a good talk
I hate my mother-in-law, in fact, there is a reason, it may be because your values are different, but mother-in-law as a senior, we need to respect, no matter what, if you encounter a problem, you still need to solve it well.
Then when you hate your mother-in-law, it may be because your mother-in-law has done something bad, in fact, you can sit down and talk about it well, so that you may understand some of each other's thoughts better, so it is helpful to ease your relationship, so you need to pay attention to it.
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a problem that many people will encounter now, but it needs to be solved no matter what. In fact, family harmony is very important, so don't make too many contradictions, which will also affect your husband's relationship, many problems can actually be solved, so it is actually okay to deal with it well, I hope you can both remember to understand each other well.
If you treat your mother-in-law as if she were your own mother, you will be able to live in peace. >>>More
How to deal with the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law? I would like to make five suggestions for this family. >>>More
First of all, the daughter-in-law must learn to empathize. Since they all come together for the purpose of love, there are not so many principled problems, and it is difficult for the old people to change their living habits for many years, so young people should be more tolerant. The second is to compare the heart to the heart. >>>More
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not related by blood, there is a large generation gap, and there is a relationship between two women who are very important to each other, it is difficult to get along, the key is whether they can treat each other sincerely, whether they can be less calculating and self-conscious, and more understanding and tolerant!! For the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, I first want to say: why should women be embarrassed by women!! >>>More
Since you are married to your husband, you are a family, judging from your mother-in-law's behavior, she does not regard you as a family member, and your husband does not take care of your feelings, and chooses to help his mother, although filial piety is the first, but it is not blindly to help parents make mistakes, you are talking about his mother's treasure man, that is, this person is very weak, and there is no way to help you in your difficulties, from the above problems, you already have children, it is not recommended that you divorce, so you should move out to live, since you can't afford to provoke, Then stay out of the way.