What should I do if my old woman doesn t take care of the child, I want to go to work, but my mother

Updated on parenting 2024-06-24
32 answers
  1. Anonymous users2024-02-12

    People who ask such questions subconsciously feel that their mother-in-law should show their children.

    In the consciousness of many Chinese, the old man feels that he wants to help his son and daughter-in-law take care of the child, if such an old man encounters, be grateful, with a mother-in-law to help, he will be much easier. Don't always accuse the old man of not understanding this, not understanding that. If you feel that you can't get along with the elderly, and the concept of parenting is very different, then bring it yourself.

    However, there are also many young parents who feel that parents are just to help them take care of their children. It is actually dangerous to have such an awareness. If your parents don't help, blame your parents. I feel that my parents are selfish.

    You know, the elderly are not free labor. They also have a life of their own. How precious are the years they have left. They have complete freedom to organize the rest of their lives.

    Therefore, the mother-in-law does not give the child, and there is nothing.

    Raising children is not an easy thing to do, it requires 100% love and energy.

    Or bring your own, or ask a babysitter to take care of the children. The premise of these two is that the family should have a fixed amount of money to spend on "taking care of children".

    If you can, you still have to bring your own children. Who could be better to their children than themselves? If it can be brought full-time to 3 years, I believe that many mothers are willing to accompany their children through every special first time when they are young.

    The first time I stood up, the first time I ate by myself, the first time I called my mother, these are all precious memories later.

    If you don't allow it, then ask a nanny to take care of the children's food and daily life, and work hard in your career. But also spend more time with your children.

    All in all, it is the responsibility of parents to take care of their children, and do not put the responsibility on to your mother-in-law or other elders. If you want to spend time with your children, try to earn money before you have children. After you have children, try to earn money.

    Because, money can allow us to give our children a better life, and money can make our children receive a better education.

  2. Anonymous users2024-02-11

    Mother-in-law doesn't show the child, then don't let him see you are not only mother-in-law, you also have your own mother, it's really not good, you can also hire a childcare nanny for the child, now the world has money and anything can be solved.

  3. Anonymous users2024-02-10

    Look at your mother-in-law like this, you know that you have a problem, you usually don't respect your mother-in-law, right? The old woman refers to a woman over the age of 70 in someone else's family, if it is your husband's grandmother, you should also be called grandma, it is your mother-in-law, you can only call mother-in-law, not old woman. Many mothers-in-law are afraid to take grandchildren, because they can't handle the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, you can ask your mother to take care of the children, so that the relationship is easy to handle, and you won't have an opinion on your mother, and you don't dare to have an opinion on your mother.

  4. Anonymous users2024-02-09

    Should an old woman have to babysitting? It is not the duty of a mother-in-law to watch the children. If you want your mother-in-law to see the child, you must negotiate with your mother-in-law, not think that your mother-in-law should show you the child.

  5. Anonymous users2024-02-08

    It is reasonable to help people and not to help! She has worked hard all her life to raise her own children! So she has no responsibility to help Confucius! Of course, it's best to help in favors, but don't force it if you don't help!

  6. Anonymous users2024-02-07

    First of all, the mother-in-law has no responsibility or obligation to help you watch the child. It's good that she can raise your husband and give it to you! Children are your own responsibility and that of your husband.

    Similarly, when you have grandchildren, you can also see if you are in a mood to help with grandchildren. After all, your grandchildren are your child's responsibility, not your own. Don't overstep!

    Again, the monthly salary of a nanny starts at 4k, and according to the value of labor, you can discuss with your mother-in-law about the cost of raising children, don't just think about it, family members can be exploited for free? If your mother-in-law goes out to work as a nanny for someone else, she can collect money. After all, money is the most fragrant in your own hands!

    In the end, taking care of the children is still your own business, and you can go to work and do your own thing before you get through the kindergarten! At this stage, you can discuss with your mother-in-law, or you can find a nanny directly in the market.

    Strongly abandon the idea of letting your mother-in-law be a free babysitter! After all, you will face the same problem in the future. Compare hearts to hearts, treat everyone equally!

  7. Anonymous users2024-02-06

    If you want to go to work, your mother-in-law won't take care of the child, logically speaking, your mother-in-law has no such obligation, and the mother-in-law who can help with the child shows that she is considerate of your daughter-in-law, but the mother-in-law just doesn't help bring it, and the daughter-in-law can't complain, because it's your child after all. You can let your husband negotiate first, and sit down with your mother-in-law calmly to have a good talk. As an elder, as long as she tells her well, she will not be inconsiderate of her son.

    It should also be a happy thing for the mother-in-law to have a good income in the family. If you really can't do it, you can send it to kindergarten, or find a nanny, which is also a way to do it.

  8. Anonymous users2024-02-05

    It's a good thing to go to work, young people have to work hard, mother-in-law doesn't take care of the children, you can hire a nanny, if you don't go to work for a long time, you will be separated from society, so it will be difficult to integrate into society, you go to work and use the money you earn from work to hire a nanny, so good.

  9. Anonymous users2024-02-04

    I want to go to work, but my mother-in-law won't show me, take care of the children, and look for your husband! Your husband said a sentence to say ten thousand words, to be honest, the old man does not help you look at the child, there are many reasons, first of all, you have to find it from your body, besides, the mother-in-law does not want to see the child, not that she should take it for granted to help you, as long as your work is in place, the mother-in-law is still willing to help you, it is very tiring to take the child, your mother-in-law also enjoys the joy of family, although the grandson is tired, there is also fun.

  10. Anonymous users2024-02-03

    You have to talk to your old woman well, let your old woman show you the child, if you really don't show you, if the conditions allow, you can find a nanny to take the child for you, you can also go to work, if the conditions are not allowed, the nanny can't afford to pay, it is best to take care of the child at home first, and when the child reaches the age of three to go to kindergarten, you can go to work.

  11. Anonymous users2024-02-02

    That's normal. In fact, some mothers-in-law are like this, they don't want to help their grandchildren, if they really don't look at it, then they can see it themselves, there is nothing big about it, and when the children are older, it is not too late to go out to work, and they are more at ease with their own children, and they will have deeper feelings, and it is better to educate their children by themselves, and they will not be so naughty or something, and they will be more worry-free than others!!

  12. Anonymous users2024-02-01

    If you want to go to work and your mother-in-law doesn't show you the child, then you can wait until the child is three years old to send it to kindergarten. Find another 9-to-5 job where you can pick up and drop off your own children. Mother-in-law and mother don't have the task to take care of your children, and it is natural that they are willing to help bring you children, but they don't want to bring them themselves.

  13. Anonymous users2024-01-31

    You want to go to work, and your mother-in-law doesn't give you to look after the children, you can hire a nanny to look after the children so that you can go to work.

  14. Anonymous users2024-01-30

    If you have family conditions, you can hire a nanny and install monitoring at home. Or find your mother's family to help take care of it. If you can't do both, you can only wait for the child to be sent to nursery or kindergarten when he is older, and then you can go to work and make sure that you will be picked up.

  15. Anonymous users2024-01-29

    If you want to go to work and your mother-in-law doesn't babysit, then you can hire a nanny, wouldn't it be good? Mother-in-law is not obligated to help you watch the children, or you can ask. Mother-in-law helps you. Then hire a babysitter to watch that one together.

  16. Anonymous users2024-01-28

    If you want to go to work to solve the child's problem first, the mother-in-law will not show it and then find someone else, find a nanny, there will definitely be a way.

  17. Anonymous users2024-01-27

    Since the mother-in-law doesn't help take care of the children, there is no way. You can go to work in kindergarten and get a discount on your child's kindergarten fee. You can also take pictures of your child's cute daily life and post it on Kuaishou or Douyin, and if there are more people watching it, you will also have an income.

  18. Anonymous users2024-01-26

    You can arrange it reasonably, your time, you don't necessarily have to ask your mother-in-law to bring you children, and your mother-in-law may not be able to take it for various reasons, right? If you can't afford it, you can also pay for a babysitter or a part-time worker, in short, family harmony is the most important.

  19. Anonymous users2024-01-25

    Send the child to the kindergarten, now the kindergarten pick-up time is also more appropriate, the class you are looking for can pick up the child as much as possible, but you yourself may be very tired, you have to be mentally prepared.

  20. Anonymous users2024-01-24

    You can discuss with your husband to hire a nanny, or wait for the child to go to kindergarten before going to work, don't think that the mother-in-law is wrong not to give you the child, all kinds of complaints, which will intensify family conflicts.

  21. Anonymous users2024-01-23

    In fact, it is very understandable, as long as you do not have a great "enmity" with your mother-in-law, then you have a chance. Mothers can find a time to sit down with their mother-in-law and talk to their mother-in-law calmly. Tell your mother-in-law why you want to go out and work, and you can be more comprehensive and comprehensive.

    Similar as: I feel sorry for my husband, it is too hard to earn money to support the family alone; You also hope to be able to contribute to your own small family, rely on your own ability to add bricks and tiles to the family, and so on.

  22. Anonymous users2024-01-22

    Do communication work. Between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. There can be no quarrels. It would be nice to give some living expenses. There's nothing either.

  23. Anonymous users2024-01-21

    The mother-in-law didn't give the babysitting, so she hired a babysitter and then went out to work.

  24. Anonymous users2024-01-20

    The willingness of the elderly to bring their grandchildren is kind and loving. If the elderly don't give care of the children, you can't force it, you should be self-reliant, and your own children can find ways to take care of them, you can hire a nanny, or you can send them to kindergarten, but you must protect the safety and health of your children before you can go out to work.

  25. Anonymous users2024-01-19

    Go to work, mother-in-law and don't give the child to see the best to find a reliable and good-tempered nanny to see the child, although the mother-in-law has no legal obligation to see the child, but she just doesn't look at it, there is no way, and there are some people who don't have a mother-in-law, the child is also looking for someone to watch, it's also good.

  26. Anonymous users2024-01-18

    If the mother-in-law does not take the child, then tell her that going to work by herself can reduce the burden on the family, and her son will be more relaxed, and if there is no one to bring it, then bring it herself, or ask someone to take it.

  27. Anonymous users2024-01-17

    You can send your child to the nursery before going to work, which means that you should try to be self-reliant and figure it out on your own.

  28. Anonymous users2024-01-16

    Then find a babysitter to watch the children. If you go to work, there is no good way, if the conditions allow, you don't go to work, and watch the children by yourself. Anyway, your mother-in-law won't show you the child, or there is no good way.

  29. Anonymous users2024-01-15

    It is not the right or obligation for a mother-in-law to see her grandson (granddaughter)! It's just that in order to help the children and solve their burdens, I really want to go to work, I can communicate with my mother-in-law through my husband, I believe the old man will understand!

  30. Anonymous users2024-01-14

    Discuss with your husband, do your mother-in-law's work, pay some food expenses, and give your mother-in-law some salary, but it's really not okay to give the same fee to your mother's family for your mother's family to see, maybe your mother-in-law will see the money when she feels sorry!

    Don't care about people anymore!

  31. Anonymous users2024-01-13

    Don't expect anyone to take care of your children, if you have enough ability, find a nanny to take you to work, if your own mother feels sorry for her daughter, they can also take care of the child, we can't point to the mother-in-law's house for everything, if there is no mother-in-law, the child can't grow up? When my children were young, no one took the children to do manual work in the full moon, and I believe that a rural daughter-in-law with two children can make money by doing self-****, I think you will be able to do it. This should be addressed before you become pregnant.

    You should bring your own child, and if you can't bring it for financial reasons, you can postpone your pregnancy. It is irresponsible for your children to do this, the growth of children is inseparable from their parents, your parents have raised you and have fulfilled their responsibilities, they are old and have no responsibility to take your children. Don't put your own responsibilities on others.

    Mother-in-law has no obligation to show you the child, to show you is love, not to show you is normal, mother-in-law raised your husband, there is no obligation to see the next generation, those mother-in-law help to bring should also be grateful, don't take it as should! Before you have a child, everything should be planned, not planned is your own problem, there are many mothers who work while taking children, I know a mother who runs a nail salon, while working with children, the child is now one and a half years old, sent to kindergarten, the child is very good, very cheerful, but also leather, not squeamish, she is because there is no mother-in-law, father-in-law and mother-in-law have died early, there is no idea of relying on mother-in-law. The child will also grow up, and the work will not be delayed, people can do as much as they have any conditions, don't do what you can't reach, so you will be tired!

  32. Anonymous users2024-01-12

    When my relatives smoked, they opened a wide window to disperse the smoke, and my left shoulder was against the window, and I was exposed to the cold wind. Until now, my shoulder hurts when the cold wind blows, and it is very uncomfortable. Therefore, you should pay attention to some details of your life during your confinement and don't fall into confinement disease.

    If you don't have someone around to help, it's really not good. So, you can take your mom to yourself, and although she is not in good health, it is still okay to give you an idea based on her experience, to be a staff officer, and at the same time when you really need to go out for something.

    <> grandparents help their own children, not their grandchildren, many people can't see this clearly, and they think that the elderly should take their children for granted. The elderly raise their children, and now they should enjoy the right to be supported after completing their obligations, so adults should solve the problem by themselves, find a nanny to bring, if you only let the nanny bring, how much is still not at ease, with your mother next to you, a little look at the child, you can rest assured, the work will not be delayed, kill two birds with one stone, but the nanny's salary will definitely not be too little, see if you can calculate whether it is worth it.

    To be a mother, you must be independent and self-reliant ideologically, and the arrival of the child fulfills the reproductive rights of both of you and your husband and wife, and is a new member of your new family. It's not for who or for that family, so it's up to you and your husband to take care of your children and run your own small home. I still suggest that the mother take care of the child by herself, and the mother-in-law can help take care of it appropriately.

    The next generation is certain, and the mother can develop good living habits for the child, a good habit of dealing with others, etc., and also avoids the conflict with the mother-in-law on the issue of educating the child.

    Don't share it, don't think about the bad of them! If you want to open it yourself, give birth to it yourself, raise it yourself, there's nothing wrong with it! It's just a little harder!

    That's how I experienced it at the time, so I have a deep understanding of the saying "raising children knows the kindness of parents"! At the same time, it is also the hope of the family. I think most mothers-in-law will do their best to help take care of their children in order for their sons to have a better life and for them to be old in the future.

    But personally, I think it's best to bring it yourself if the economic conditions and other aspects allow.

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