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Personally, I think that the relationship between the elderly and children is a good relationship, with mutual respect, mutual understanding, and conversation. The age gap between the elderly and children is relatively large, and there is usually some generation gap, so in many families, the elderly and children can rarely talk to each other. So I think it's important for the elderly and children to be able to talk, and it doesn't have to be that the two generations have the same idea, but they must be able to listen to each other and understand each other.
This is a good way to communicate.
Respect is also important in family relationships. One reason why the elderly and children do not get along well is the sense of distance between the elders and the younger generations. This sense of distance will easily make many children feel scared, especially some elderly people will unconsciously rely on the old and sell the old.
At the same time, they will feel that they are elders and demand that their children must listen to them. This condescending, rigid and serious attitude is very unsuitable for the harmonious coexistence of family relationships. This will not only cause children to rebel and fear, but also cause unnecessary misunderstanding of their elders.
Therefore, the old man should be an amiable old man, and the child should also be a sensible child, and everyone respects each other so that the distance between the two people can be narrowed.
In addition to the elderly to respect the children, the children should also learn to respect the elderly. In fact, in many families, the elderly are more doting on children. Many children are the pearls of the elderly's palms and hearts.
ThisIt is easy to cause pampering in children, because they feel that they are pampered. Therefore, parents should teach their children to respect the elderly in the family and not rely on the love of the elders to be lawless. And teach children to respect and respect the elderly.
Many people say that the generation gap between the elderly and children cannot be bridged, but it is not. This requires the elderly to have an open-minded heart, and the children to have a heart that understands the elderly, so that the two generations can understand each other. After all, the social environment in which the elderly live is different, and sometimes their thinking will inevitably be a little narrow, as children, we cannot despise them, but explain to them with an understanding heart.
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I think that children can respect the elderly, can treat the elderly as elders, the elderly are very fond of children, but will not spoil children, such a relationship is considered good.
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There should be a cordial relationship, which can be said to be the best, and will also allow many children and the elderly to have a particularly good relationship.
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How should the elderly who have a bad relationship with their children spend their old age?
If the children do not care about the elderly because they do not have a pension, it is the fault of the children, the unfilial piety of the children, and their lack of morality and humanity. If they are brought to court, they will be punished or punished morally, morally, and legally.
At this point, I have to say, how did you educate your children when they were young? Could it be that the principles of conduct handed down by the ancestors are not in accordance with the rules, such as "loyalty, filial piety, benevolence, filial piety to parents, respect for the old and love for the young, do not forget the fundamentals, know the kindness and repay the kindness, repay the report, and the eaves drip the old nest" and so on? I'm afraid you don't understand these truths, do you?
Then it is unceremoniously said that it is to learn from good people, to follow Duan Gong to dance ghosts and gods, the upper beam is not correct and the lower beam is crooked, it is the children who are acting on the upper line and the lower beam, it is to learn from you old people from elementary school, that is really a good teacher and a high apprentice, why should you suffer the sins you have created!
It is that the old people have a bad attitude towards their children, one is that they did not fulfill their responsibilities as parents when they were young, they do not care about their children, and they do not communicate with their children in thought, and the other is that they are old and have strange virtues, and they make things difficult for their children in every way. Speaking of which, I have to say more, since you are old and have no money as capital, you will put down some shelves and get along politely with your children, because you have to rely on them, in today's society, money is the backer, money is the hole card of survival, you have nothing, and you are still like a stone in the pit and stinky and not hard, how can you do it, who can tolerate you? Of course, the elderly who have pensions and social security do not want to drag down their children, and there are many who just can't get along in life and voluntarily live separately from their children, except for these.
In short, as the subject said, some old people, since they have come to this point, can only live separately in the long run, the supply of living expenses is negotiated by the children, if the children do not agree, it will be determined by legal means.
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You should save your own money, and then when you reach old age, you can go to a nursing home, so that you can be well taken care of.
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You should save more money, you can choose to go to a nursing home or hire a nanny to take care of your life, which is better.
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Don't meddle too much in your children's families, and then be sure to put yourself in a nursing home so that you don't feel so lonely.
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You can maintain a particularly close connection with each other, you can tell your children to take care of the elderly often, and you should also learn to respect the old and love the young, so that there will be a particularly close connection between two people.
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There should be a particularly good parent-child relationship, you can take care of each other in life, and you can let your children learn to respect the old and love the young, which is a very good relationship.
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The atmosphere of getting along with each other is very sweet, the old man will spoil the child, and will also help the child, so the relationship is harmonious.
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Is it better for the elderly to live with their children? Or is it better to live separately?
I have seen the big family of four generations living happily together, and I am very envious. But the vast majority of older people are reluctant to live with their children. Because the living habits of each other will be very different, and it will be very uncomfortable for each other to live together.
First of all, there is a big difference in sleep. Young people like to stay up late and sleep late, and going to bed late and waking up late seems to be the norm for them. The elderly don't like to stay up late, they like to go to bed early and get up early, and they don't like the habit of young people who sleep when the sun rises.
Secondly, there is also a big difference in the diet. Older people like to eat bland foods because their digestive system gradually declines with age, and eating things that are too greasy is not easy to digest. Young people like to eat a variety of spicy, greasy, sweet and other foods that are good for the taste sense.
In addition, there are many differences in life preferences, such as the TV programs you like to watch and the way you relax.
Wenxiu's father-in-law came to her house from his hometown because he had to go to the hospital for a physical examination. Since they had never lived together with each other, there was a lot to get used to with each other.
For example, my in-laws live in a bungalow in the countryside and the toilet is outside. Wenxiu's house is a building, and the bathroom is indoors. My father-in-law is not used to it, and every time he goes to the toilet, he does not flush the toilet.
Wenxiu reminded him, but he still didn't remember. Wen Xiu was afraid that the number of reminders would be too much, which would arouse the suspicion of the old man, so she could only wash it every time he came out.
My father-in-law is a little older, his ears are a little back, and when he watches TV, he always puts the TV on the maximum volume. Wenxiu couldn't stand it a little, but thought that the old man had nothing else to do, and he was not feeling well, so he should accommodate. When I think it's too noisy, I go to the bedroom for a while.
The weather was very hot in summer, but my father-in-law was skinny and still felt cold, so he asked her for an electric mattress. Originally, when my father-in-law didn't come, the windows of their house were barely closed because the weather was too hot. But seeing that her father-in-law was still afraid of the cold, she had to close the window tightly.
Think about it, if everyone came according to their own ideas, they wouldn't be able to live under one roof. But seeing Wenxiu's accommodating approach, I was thinking, this is okay for a short time, but it is not a way to do this for a long time.
Therefore, I think it is better for the elderly and their children not to live together, because there is too much difference in each other's habits. It's okay to get together occasionally, and if you live together for a long time, you will inevitably be uncomfortable with each other.
If I had to live together, I had two colleagues who did it well. One of them, bought a larger house, building in the middle of a building. Parents live on the first floor, they live on the first floor, live independently of each other, do not disturb each other, and can take care of each other.
Another colleague bought two houses on one floor, living opposite each other, and when there is something, he can arrive immediately, and when he has nothing to do, he can enjoy the happiness of living alone.
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Is it normal for children to have a better relationship with the elderly than with their parents? What to do?
1.It's normal. Nowadays, because of the high social pressure, young people are busy with work during the day, so they have less time to spend with their children, and they often work overtime at night, so they can't coax their children to sleep, basically the elderly sleep with their children.
In the long run, children will become more dependent on the elderly. Children learn to eat, talk, dress and other basic life from the beginning of the family is mostly taught by the elderly, although they are all small things in life, who teaches the same, but the child does not think so, in the child's consciousness, it is the grandparents who grew up with them, they give themselves the most companionship, so they are closer to them.
2.Many children are not so close to their parents, but more to the elderly in the family. It is because their parents work outside the home all the year round and entrust their children to the elderly to raise.
Therefore, in the process of a child's growth, it is always the old man in the family who accompanies him to grow up. Correspondingly, children will also be closer to the elderly. Although parents are trying to earn money for their children to work outside the home, so that their children can have a better life, they do miss their children's growth very much.
Because the elderly spend more time with their children than their parents, and the more time children spend with the elderly, the more children have feelings for the elderly. Parents should not ignore their children because of their work.
3.Give your child a hug. Sound is an important way for people to bond with each other, and this also applies to parents and children.
Give your child a hug, let him feel the warmth of your arms and your arms, and the natural feelings will get closer and closer to you. Play games with your child. It's a paradise for kids to play games and immerse themselves in their own world.
Only communication can let the other party know your thoughts and solve problems. Similarly, only when parents take the initiative to chat with their children, build trust in the chat, and then communicate some problems with their children, will the children gradually develop trust in you.
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I think this is normal, the main reason for the match is that most of the old people are more doting on their children, and they can agree to all kinds of requests from their children, in this case, the children are of course closer to the elderly; I think that if you have more time to educate your children, you should take care of your own children, because the children educated by the elderly will not be able to help them grow and develop healthily.
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I think this is also relatively late branch is normal, if the child is often with the elderly, it will definitely be better with the old man's feelings; I think that at this time, you should communicate with your child often, and spend more time with your child, and it will be fine slowly.
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This is not normal; Parents should spend more time with their children, communicate more with their children, and take their children out to play more, so as to enhance their relationship with their children.
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During this time, the news of a 79-year-old mother buried alive appeared on the mobile phone repeatedly, and I once saw an old news that the children and their parents were only a few streets away, and the parents died at home for many days, and the first thing they found was the neighbor who smelled the odor. How sad it is to raise children and daughters who have worked hard all their lives, but when they are dying, they are so undignified! These phenomena made me think:
When people are old, they should compete for how to get along with their children in order to have a good death. ”
The closest person is the children, although the "pension" solves the economic problem of the old-age, so that the "raising children to prevent old age" has become a thing of the past, the elderly can live independently and independently, and they do not want to trouble their children more and more, and the children seem to be very relieved of their parents, and they are used to not often asking Hou to care about their parents. In the long run, the spiritual connection between parents and children will become less and less, and eventually it is possible to become "strangers".
The elderly can walk and be able to move when they are filial, but when they are old, they will one day get sick and unable to move, and they will have to rely on people. Either be taken care of by your children or have someone else take care of you. There shouldn't be much that children can take care of, and after all, they have a lot of their own affairs.
If you have the conditions, you can ask someone to take care of them at home, or send them to a nursing home with good conditions, but what if you don't?
As the saying goes: "There is no filial son in front of the bed for a long time", like the one who buried his mother alive may be willing to take care of him at first, but after a long time, he becomes impatient, and he has no conditions to ask someone to take care of him, and finally competes to the point of losing his humanity. This kind of thing is rarely heard of, but parents and children are close to each other, and parents die at home many days before being discovered, but I have heard a lot, and their children are often blamed by relatives, and I believe that children must also feel guilty.
So what can be done to prevent this from happening? When parents are healthy, they will try their best not to trouble their children in life, and when their children are in need, they should try their best to care for and help their children; Children should not be ignored just because their parents can take care of themselves. If you don't live together, you need to care for each other mentally, keep in touch diligently, even if you send a WeChat message to ask each other every day, form a habit, and once there is an abnormality, you can find the problem in time, so as not to leave irreparable regrets.
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