Bao Bei really wants to listen to jokes now, who has funny jokes??

1. The little girl in kindergarten asked the teacher: Can my grandmother get pregnant at the age of 80? Teacher:

No. And what about my sister who is eighteen years old? Teacher:

Yes. And what about me being eight years old? Teacher:

No. The little boy next to me: Hehe, I said it's okay!

Second, the African black girl traveled to Shanghai and lived in a hotel. A fire broke out in the middle of the night. The African woman ran out as fast as she could. A firefighter saw it and said in surprise: My mother, alas, she is scorched and still running so fast!

Third, the wolf cubs from the snack vegetarian. The wolf father and the wolf mother racked their brains to train it to hunt. Finally, one day, the wolf father and the wolf mother were pleased to watch their son chase a rabbit. The wolf cub grabbed the rabbit and said fiercely: Boy, hand over the carrots.

4. Before the wedding, the groom asks the officiant: How much does it cost to officiate at a wedding? The officiant said: The more beautiful the wife, the more money. The bridegroom was embarrassed to give a dollar. The officiant was stunned, glanced back at the bride, and then looked for 5 cents ......

5. The prisoner was executed. Due to the poor quality of the bullets, the first shot did not go off ......Then a second shot was fired......The third shot ......This is, the prisoner cried, hugged the bailiff's thigh and said: Big brother, you strangle me, it's so scary.

6. Yesterday I dreamed that God would grant me a wish. I took out the globe and said let the world be peaceful. He said it was too hard to change it! I took out your picture and said make this person pretty. God thought about it for a moment, let's talk about world peace!

Seventh, a woman is ugly and can't get married. I want to be trafficked. Finally, one day a dream will come true. But it didn't sell for half a month. The kidnappers sent it back. She was adamant. The kidnapper gritted his teeth and stomped his feet: go, the car is gone.

An honorific title for the deceased.

Once, Xiao Tongtong asked his mother, "Why do you call your dead grandfather your ancestor?" ”

Mom said, "Because first of all, it is an honorific title for the dead." ”

Tong Tong said: "Is the pair of dead grandmothers going to be called 'fresh milk'?" ”

Alternative secret recipes.

1. Eat less ginger, because there is an old saying called "ten thousand thin without ginger"!

2. Do your own things, because there is an idiom called "self-inflicted"!

3. You can't move things casually, it will "move is fat".

4. Change clothes and hats a little often, and have a good figure of "well-dressed and thin".

Pick up a valuable ring.

Judge: "Why didn't you find such a valuable ring and give it to the police or the lost and found?" ”

Defendant: "I had this thought, but when I saw the words engraved very clearly on the ring, I dispelled it. ”

Judge: "What?" ”

Defendant: "Always yours!" ”

If you want to hear jokes, you can join the 136718845 group, and the people in it are very funny. Want to make a joke? At the beginning of the school roll call, there was a class teacher who was ingenious and said to the students: "I read the student number, and you can report the name yourself."

At the beginning of the school roll call, there was a class teacher who was ingenious and said to the students: "I read the student number, and you can report the name yourself."

A woman asks for marriage, and the dating conditions offered are rough and coarse.

1.Be handsome. 2.Have a car.

The computer went to help her search for this rolling chess.

This woman, dissatisfied with the results of the search, entered again.

1.To have a beautiful house.

2.To have a lot of money.

The computer went to help her search again for the results of the bank.

The woman was still not disappointed and continued to enter the conditions.

1. Be cool-looking.

2. And have a sense of security.

The result of the search was:

Altman. The woman was still not disappointed and continued to enter the conditions.

1.Be handsome. 2.Have a car.

3.To have a beautiful house.

4.There is going to be a lot of rock town money.

5. Be cool.

6. And have a sense of security.

The computer went to help her search for the results again Ultraman was playing chess in the bank.

The physical education teacher Dachai Weisheng said to the students: The male students stand on my left, the female students stand on my right, and the other Lu Zhaoji people stand still ......As a result, the PE teacher didn't move.

2. In junior high school, a math teacher talked about equation transformation, and shouted loudly with his sleeve on the podium: Attention students, I'm going to be transformed!

3. Junior high school teachers like to use ...... to talk about topics"My base radius is 20cm and my height is 50cm, so I ......Someone below said, "It's a rice bucket......The whole class laughed ......

4. The junior high school English teacher was a bald man, and one day in class, he asked a classmate: "Whatdayis."

today?(My head is bald) thought for a moment, "yes."”

5. One day in math class, I saw a green leaf on the math teacher's teeth, and after a while, the leaf was gone......When I got out of class, I found that the socks were ...... around the neck of a girl in our class

Is it okay to have a bad joke?

A bear is boring then it. He's dead...

When a polar bear living in the North Pole found out about it, he thought I couldn't be like him, and started plucking its hair to count, and a gust of wind blew him to freeze to death.

The rest of the one forgot...

Xiao Ming's father hit him twice yesterday. For the first time, Xiao Ming was seen by his father holding a test paper with only 20 points on it. Then he flattened him, and after the beating, Xiao Ming's father found out that the roll was his own childhood, so he beat Xiao Ming ...... again