Help me analyze how to get along with people. Is it my own fault?

In fact, it is not so difficult to get along with people, remember to be lenient with others, why should you force people to be perfect? You do well others may not do well, others do well you may not be able to do it, the word perfect can only be said to be a fiction, when you are too good, maybe others will think that you love to perform, will do superficial work, hypocrisy, etc., so don't deliberately strive for perfection, sometimes a little flaw will feel really close to yourself, after all, he can reveal his own shortcomings to you, it is also a kind of sincerity, right?

You say you want to find a very iron kind of friend, I can tell not everyone has the kind of friend who can be iron, everyone has their own life, you want him to be able to share the ups and downs with you, first of all, at least you have to be like-minded (I don't mean that you are with the thorns. Secondly, you can calmly accept his shortcomings, so you must first relax and accept others, don't take other people's shortcomings (small faults) too seriously, don't give up a piece of high-quality jade because of a small flaw, I hope you can find a very iron friend.

You are introverted and have a bit of an inferiority complex. In fact, you are very good at thinking about others, but you will not self-regulate your emotions and will not decompress. When people have ideas and opinions about things, the usual practice is to say it and talk about it, and the method you take is just to suppress it, because you are afraid that people will lose face and have a grudge against you after you say it.

And you don't have the ability to adjust yourself, so you feel bad. There is a very simple way, that is, when you have opinions about others, use tactful methods to express your opinions, as for whether people accept it, it has nothing to do with you, at least you will not be so depressed in your heart, interpersonal relationships are not established by hiding your true thoughts, interpersonal communication is two-way communication. People who can accept you think that you have something in common, and those who can't accept it will not have much friendship with you.

In fact, what you did is not completely wrong, it is right to save face, and others will appreciate you if they know. But if you don't say anything, others don't know that this aspect of you is a shortcoming. It's better to make a joke in a whisper and remind her tactfully when you have time to be alone.

But don't be too direct, otherwise that classmate's face will be a little unbearable...

In fact, it's normal to hurt others for your own convenience, isn't it just that people don't kill for themselves, just adapt, adjust your mentality, it doesn't matter how the people around you are, as long as you don't change the world, you don't have to really make those so-called friends

Ignoring you and not caring about you means that you don't have much of a sense of fighting in the other party's world. Without you, people won't have any sense of gap, so don't talk about yourself anymore, it's meaningless.

I especially like to take advantage of you, like to say bad things about you behind your back, and especially like to hit you, such a person is not worth associating.

1. Take the initiative to talk to people and communicate more.

If you want to deal with others, you can't wait for the rabbit, you have to take the initiative to attack. You can find out what your common interests and topics are, and then actively participate in the exchange.

2. Be helpful.

When others have difficulties, you should do your best to help solve them, so that they feel warm, and at the same time, let everyone feel that you are an approachable person with good qualities.

3. Be tolerant of others.

Who has not made mistakes in life, when others make mistakes, do not care, but feel for him with love, and let him know that you are a very good person.

Fourth, don't be suspicious.

Don't live in the belly of a gentleman with the heart of a villain, and always suspect that this person or that person is saying something bad about you all day long, it is too painful to live like this, and you will get mental illness after a long time.

5. Don't be self-centered.

You should correctly recognize your own strengths and weaknesses, do not be self-righteous when getting along with others, always think that you are right in everything, let others listen to you in everything, you should communicate with others more, listen patiently to others' opinions, and do not blindly deny others' views even if they are wrong.

Interpersonal relationship is a broad definition. He is the sublimation of a person's self-cultivation, including your words and deeds, speaking skills, dealing with people, dealing with others, and even if your dress is sometimes helpful for your interpersonal relationships.

Therefore, if you want to have a good interpersonal relationship, you must first strengthen yourself, make yourself attractive, let others have the urge to get close to you, and never have a relationship for the sake of the relationship, if you don't get the effect you want, you will become more tired.

Interpersonal relationships are a big science, and it is recommended that you take your time and you will definitely gain something.

Finally, I suggest you go here to take a look, the above content is good, he is mainly talking about interpersonal relationships, and it will definitely help you.

Be kind to others, think from the perspective of others when dealing with things (this is very important), and when a person is friendly to you, not only enjoy that kind of good, but also be kind to others. Be polite when you don't know each other, and don't do anything to others.

If you don't get along well, it may be that the two of you don't get along, or it may be his personality problem, but if you don't get along with everyone around you, then the situation is a bit serious, and it may not be someone else's problem, you have to think about whether your own way of dealing with people is a bit of a problem, or if you don't get along with their values. If it's a matter of values. Then you may have to change groups.

If you don't get along with everyone or most of them, I think you can consider the following aspects of yourself, starting with politeness in the process of communication. Then whether the privacy of others is respected in the interaction. There is no way to speak without going through the brain.

In the end, it is not too self-centered. All of these situations can hinder your social interactions.

First of all, the problem of politeness, no one wants to have a good relationship with a person who is full of swear words and does not know how to respect people, so that it will appear that their quality is also very low, and then there is no politeness in interacting with people, many people will be very disgusted with you, the first impression is not good, then you can't play together. Therefore, in ordinary life, these polite issues should be paid special attention, which is a place to reflect personal qualities and family education.

Then there is to pay attention to respecting other people's privacy in the relationship, there are some things that others don't want to say, don't chase after you or ask around, it's not a good thing to be too gossipy. If a friend tells you his secrets, don't spread them and forget about them, so that they will be willing to confide in you about these private issues. Otherwise, going in from your ears is equivalent to amplification.

That can be embarrassing.

Then there are many things to consider when speaking, such as the scene, such as the object of the conversation, such as the time. At the wedding banquet, you must know what to say and what not to say, how the root leader speaks, and how to talk to colleagues. It's important to know what to say during work hours or school hours, and the less you say, the less likely you are to make mistakes.

Then don't be too centered on your own interests, of course you can consider your own interests, but don't give people a sense of selfishness, and then when you should pay some benefits for the group and make some sacrifices, you must make decisive decisions, and you can't put the collective interests under your own interests. Of course, this also depends on the situation. I won't go into detail about these, but I will grasp a degree by myself.

If you have any of these aspects or which ones you have not done well, you can correct yourself appropriately, you will find that as long as it is not inconsistent with values, it will be much happier than before, and your popularity will get better and better, and you should pay attention to these things.

If you don't get along well with the people around you, I think it's not just your problem, but there are also some reasons, so you have to think and reflect on these two aspects.

No matter what happens, when you feel that you are not doing a good job, you must first find the reason in yourself. It's not your own personality that has some flaws and bad points, such as being introverted and shy, and not wanting to contact strangers, so in the process of interacting with people. It's hard, it's just to be comfortable with each other.

Well, or maybe you're too cheerful, confident, and outgoing, which makes people feel pressured to get along with you, and will always be treated as your supporting role, hidden in your light. In fact, I think it's not good to be too introverted and shy or too outgoing and cheerful. Being too introverted and shy can make people feel boring with you, and being too cheerful can make people feel stressed.

In order to change this, I think you need to work hard to change yourself, and then get to know the people around you, and find a way to get along with each other according to their personality characteristics.

Of course, not all of these situations are your problems, and maybe the people around you are also doing things badly. For example, if they don't know you well as a person, or they don't want to get along with you because they have some prejudice against you, I don't think it's your problem, if such people don't get along well with you, I don't think you need to be friends with them. People can make everyone satisfied, and no one can turn everyone around them into their friends, and there are some things that cannot be forced.

It's not that the more friends you have, the better, you have to spend your time and effort to make valuable friends, and don't waste your time on useless people.

Well, I so I hope you can recognize this accurately, and then seriously figure out the right solution, and then have a good network.

One is for sure, it's definitely you, there is a sentence that I think is super good, that is, when the people around you have opinions about you, you should think more about your own problems. Generally speaking, it is normal that all people like you, you are not RMB, and the three views between people are not completely compatible, but under normal circumstances, most people should like you, a small number of people like you very much, and the rest have a safe and polite distance from you.

If you can't do that, it means that there is something wrong with you, it may be low emotional intelligence in interpersonal communication, or it may be that you have a bad personality and don't know it. There were six people in our dorm, and five of them hated the other person, and the reasons they hated her were interpersonal and personality.

She is very lazy, it may not matter if she is at home, but it may be a taboo in group life, she never participates in our cleaning, she always only manages her own one-third of an acre, and over time, everyone is very annoyed with her, and I also complain to my good friends at school, so it is possible that many people will know about the small things you think yourself.

As for the character, she often borrowed money and did not pay it back, when she was a freshman, she asked me to help her bring meals countless times, borrowed me many meal cards, but did not think of returning the money to me, and then I directly refused to bring her food, this kind of character is too poor, not worth dating.

In her sophomore year, our dorm room has completely become two small groups, and she has been completely isolated by us, no, we can't say the same, she herself pushed us away.

First of all, you should really find problems from yourself, and other people can get along with each other, why can't you fit in? Whether it's your personality or you don't get to their point, these are all things to consider, secondly, analyze more people around you, not to cater to you, but to look for similarities, things to gather people in groups, more analysis and more thinking There will always be differences.

If one person is not doing well, it may be the other party's problem, and if they are not doing well, it is their own problem.

This is not necessarily, people have a lot of knowledge in getting along with people, not everyone will like you, and not everyone will not like you, that's what it looks like!

Marx put forward a view of the essence of man: man is the sum total of all social relations.

In addition to the basic physiological needs of human beings in the world, such as eating, drinking, lazing, and sleeping, it is also a basic human need to communicate with other people and form a basic connection with the surrounding environment. Like many animals, people who are also primates need to build interpersonal and social relationships to satisfy their own emotional appeals.

From the present point of view, communication and connection is a trend in the development of the relationship between all things, and it is also a trend in the development of human society. The relationship between different people, whether it is a relationship of interests or an intimate relationship, is a manifestation of both human nature and social development.

Dating is actually based on temper, and personality is not in tune Some people like it at a glance, and they are very right-eyed. There is no time to stop the need for fate It is very important to be sincere in communication, not to deceive. Be honest about everything.