Comment on this essay! Urgent! Around 50

The metaphors are used, the writing is fluent, and the words are accurate. The fly in the ointment is that at least one program should be written about the process, and it can't all be passed by. The last paragraph points to the center.

57 words, 114 words in the original text, after heavy deletions, this is the focus. The main idea is that this party is memorable for "us", not for nothing. The program must be written in detail, all of which are sketched, and it is not good to say, your essay is not good except for this, there is nothing else, otherwise it is 29 level, and now it can only be about 26.

The perfect score for the primary school essay is 30）

General comment: The theme of the article is clear, the beginning is fascinating, and the suspense is set, but the slight deficiency is that some performances need to be written in detail, so that the details are appropriate, and the end expresses feelings.

Overall, the writing is good, the language is coherent, and the theme is highlighted in the composition.

The theme of this essay is clear, the language is clever and flexible, the description is in place, it is very vivid, very specific, and it is not easy for a primary school student to write such an essay. But the only fly in the ointment is that the whole article is read through with a cheerful rhythm, and the ending sentence "In the smile, there is also a trace of sadness...... is revealed"It doesn't fit in with the style of the whole article, it's a little abrupt, and it needs to be improved! If you score it, it should be around 28 points.

The details are not enough to highlight the {main idea}

It's okay, you can get 95-99 out of 100

My appreciation;

The author compares love to the flowers around him, novel and interesting, and the title makes people think? The roses that leave the fragrance in each paragraph, the carnations that are full of grace, and the lilies of pure maternal love are the whole paragraph, and the subtitle of each paragraph is also full of the author's perfect explanation of love. It's a good lyrical essay.

A lot of rhetorical devices are used, so let's start with the first stanza. The onomatopoeia clicks, first the sound of the door opening, and then the verbal description, the psychological description.

A sharp snapping sound broke the silence of the examination room, "No, here you go, you can use it." "Ah......Thank you, I'll send you a ruler another day. "No, didn't you help me too, and I should help you."

At this time, there was a warm current surging in my heart, and the ruler in my hand was like a rose, fragrant my world. The help of my friends made me feel friendly, and love was all around me.