What do you think of this song? Hello everyone, help me see if the lyrics are well written?

Yes, it sets off the poet's lonely mood very well.

Pretty good

Very nice !! Worship ......

Even the clouds and the grass, the evening shines all day, and the mountains are red leaves. The west wind is falling, and the creek is whimpering.

Yan went to Honggui and refused to hear it. Ask the yellow flower, and who folds it. Recruiting people is the most worried, and it is the season to send winter clothes.

Remembering the boy Forty-six characters in two tones, five sentences and two rhymes in the first paragraph, four sentences and three rhymes in the second paragraph This word should be written in accordance with Zhu Dunru's imitation, it seems that the author is very hard-working, the rhythm is unsatisfactory, but it can be seen that the author is not familiar with the poetry rhythm just according to the cat and the tiger wrote this one, the charm is a little bit, the language of ancient poetry can not be too white, as the saying goes, the words of the poem are kitsch and vulgar, the language of the Song words should be soft and affectionate, but not too revealing, to hold a little, like a reader saying common words, there is a little ancient rhyme of literary language, It's too straightforward, and it's a little less aftertaste.

First of all, let's talk about the rhyme, because the ancient poems rhyme according to the flat water rhyme, and the pronunciation is different from the modern one, and the author did not find the position of the rhyme foot.

The first five sentences of this poem rhyme with two words, which should rhyme with the words "will" and "right", which is basically correct; In Zhu Dunru's original words, the two sentences "even the clouds and the grass, even the evening shines," do not rhyme, but they happen to be about the same according to the modern pronunciation.

The last paragraph of the four sentences and three rhymes, should be [scatter] [side] [sigh] three words rhyme, this author does not rhyme, the original word should be [absolute, fold, section] three words are ancient sounding words, belonging to the same rhyme, but in modern pronunciation the pronunciation has changed, it sounds no rhyme.

Secondly, the syntax, the syntax of the upper and lower sentences is not like this, the five words of the concluding sentence are the sentence patterns of the last four, the first word is the collar character grid of the voice, followed by a four-character sentence, such as Zhu Dunru's [more --- Qianxi whimper] [send - winter clothes season], this syntax is a bit like Wang Anshi's "Guizhixiang" at the beginning of the [---late autumn of the old country], Liu Yong's such as Liu Yong's "Eight Sounds of Ganzhou" The first sentence "[right] - Xiaoxiao twilight rain sprinkles the river sky, and washes the autumn. "With the word "right" under the collar "Xiaoxiao twilight rain sprinkled Jiangtian" is a classic eight-character sentence style of one collar seven. This sentence structure can enhance the tone of the following four-character sentences, which is different from the reading of ordinary five-character sentences.

In addition, Chen Mengxiang will meet, the dream word should be flat sound, these three four-character sentences are three flat and identical overlapping sentences, a bit like a row ratio, and the sense of extension in the rhythm of different words is much worse. For example, if it is changed to the following, although it deviates from the original intention of the author, the sense of rhythm is correct.

Aged and mellow wine, old dreams, when to meet. Three cups of drinking, sighing speechless. 】

Who is drunk with a strong interest? I am lingering, and I regret the taste. The clothes are still messy, and they are even more in vain. 】

This depends on your intentions, if it's to learn ancient poetry, it's still far away, if it's to graduate and send someone to make an atmosphere or something, and then think about it to make it a little smoother, it's almost the same.

Let's not talk about the content, there are some problems with the word card grid. In some places, there is no word board. It is advisable to take a look at the rhythm of the word plate first. Although most of them are still correct, there are still a few places where the rhyme is wrong.

Example: Chao Buzhi's "Remembering the Youth (Infinite Official Willow)".

Ping Ping Ping, Ping, Ping (rhyme).

Infinite official willows, ruthless paintings, rootless travelers.

Ping Ping Ping Zhong Qian, Ping Ping Ping Ping (rhyme).

Nanshan is still sending, only Gaocheng people are separated.

仄仄平平仄仄 (rhyme), 仄平平平, 仄平平仄 (rhyme).

The garden is blue, recalculated, and turned into a trace.

Ping Ping, Ping (rhyme).

Liu Lang's sideburns are like this, and the peach blossom color is in condition!

You can change it by following the rhythm and rhyme of this.

Ancient Chinese poetry is broad and profound, and if you want to write good poetry, you need to learn more and work harder!

Three drinks and a shoulder to shoulder. What do you think?

It is a pity that today and tomorrow morning, and you will never regret it. How is it?

Don't be afraid, move forward bravely, this lyric is very good, but it's a little incomplete, I don't know how the whole song is!

The content of the words is very good, but the number of words in each sentence is not very neat, some sentences are too long, followed by short sentences, and there is a feeling of being a little top-heavy in the position of "not afraid of people's words, not afraid of hardships", it is not easy to enter the song, it is recommended to consider the rhythm, mainly to see why the song is written, only personal opinions, but also personal preferences

It's very well written, it's really good, and the lyrics are very good.

First of all, since it is a lyric, it must be accompanied by a tune that can be sung.

So, I believe that while you are writing, I guess you will be able to hum along with such lyrics. But I don't feel like my understanding is quite right, and it seems that it is difficult to be able to sing it. Sometimes the expression of the lyrics does not have to be a complete sentence, but may be a broken sentence, which will make it easier to sing.

If this lyric is only used for my own enjoyment, then it is not too serious, and the meaning is very good. But at the end of the day, since it's the lyrics, it must be able to be sung, so I don't know if you can sing the lyrics in their entirety.

This is a melancholy poem, the first sentence of the word is written beautifully, and this beautiful scenery is the remnant wind and weak moon, the late fragrance of the old willows, and the words are bleak. The sentence "This hatred is sleepless" highlights the artistic conception expressed by the cold scene in front of it, what a long night it is, and everything around me is so long that it is a little bit of boredom.

Xia Yan a "willow to be held by silk", a "flower is a piece of Yao Yuan", is the helpless thoughts of the separated people, the last sentence "last year's hook is full of broken this year, heaven and earth" The meaning of the whole word is out at one point, heaven and earth are separated, and the thoughts are far away.

I don't know if there will be a mistake 、、、 comprehending it myself

Not bad, yes, who wrote it, very... Hehe, I don't understand.

Let's be honest....I can only see that this is a lyrical poem....It's quite rhyming, and it kind of feels like it's reading....

The words are good, but the questions don't match the words. The words are full of late spring, and the sorrowful resentment. The title is "Painting Hall Spring", and the title is to write the scene. I think it would be better to change it to "Talk Spring". Hope it helps.

The inscription and the words seem to be a bit out of place1

There is unnecessary repetition in the content, and two characters and three tears can be changed to increase the information. The language of the poem is concise, using as few words as possible to reveal a wealth of information and form a picture of the artistic conception of the speech. The whole is okay, and it will be good if you adjust the polish properly.

It's okay, it's a little flavorful, but the theme is not very clear, and I don't know what to say after reading it. The lower rung does not mean a layer closer to the upper run.

There are a few places in the meaning of the text that are not clear, and the rhetoric is also slightly mixed.

Shang Yun doesn't know who the "sad wolf" refers to, and he doesn't know what the "bell ringing" is, so it's good if these two use allusions. Long Xiao, Wanfu, and Ge Ji had already said that they were going to fight, and they had an uplifting breath, but suddenly there was a desolate sentence, and they didn't know what it meant.

The lower rung should be a step further than the upper ritual, but the longest two sentences were wasted, which is a failure. It is said that the scene should be on the run, and the white meaning is on the bottom.

In terms of rhetoric, Haituoyue is good, maybe the landlord wants to say that the South China Sea or Japan, and there are troubles in the northwest, but the green smoke is not the scenery of the desert, and the floating Tiangang doesn't know what it means. Tiangang refers to the 36 constellations, which is a generation index, and the green smoke floats up, and I don't know what it means.

It's not good, and the landlord is not to blame. Imitate ancient words and write dozens of poems, and you will not create words and artistic conceptions. Words to show everyone, must be able to understand is the most basic requirement, can not create their own artistic conception, others are not in it, it is difficult to guess.

Gift to the younger brother. Wei Jin Liu Zhen.

One. Pan Pan East Flowing Water, Phosphorus and Phosphorus Water Stone. Apple algae grows its way, and the leaves are disturbed and drowned.

Pick the recommended temple, you can be ashamed of the guest. Is there no sunflower in the garden, and this is out of the depths.

Second. The pine on the Tingting Mountain, the stroke in the valley. The wind is strong, and the pine branches are strong!

The frost is miserable, and the whole year is always upright. Wouldn't it be cold, pines and cypresses have nature!

Third. The phoenix gathers Nanyue and wanders lonely bamboo roots. I never get tired of it, and I strive for a purple atmosphere.

Aren't you always diligent and ashamed of the flock of yellow birds? When to come, it will be a saint.