What shoulders have you lost?

Lost my brother. It's like the heart has taken away a piece of meat. I have liked someone together, fought countless fights together, and survived countless disasters, from the misty early morning to the late night when even the summer cicadas no longer chirp.

After you walked me through those days, I thought we were growing together. After all, there is only one life, and no one can tightly wrap around my young heart, and the most fragile and strong place for me is you. We swapped shirts for each other, yelled at each other for victory on the court, and were beaten up by our teachers for talking back together.

Until a car accident took your life, I still have a heartache when I think about it.

The first thing that came to mind was her, roommate. The two of them don't know why they suddenly look like strangers, that feeling is terrible, two people who were once so good, how to say silence is silent. The occasional conversation is also very formal, and I can't find the feeling of being the same person at all, just like someone said, it's a pity.

But calm, because I know all the feelings along the way, from the strange to the familiar, to the nothing to say. So good that everyone else is envious and jealous, and suddenly in a certain moment, everything disappears, like the last straw that breaks the camel's back, the relationship completely disintegrates, leaving no trace, never going back to the way it was before, calm because it will not try to save anything, it is already good, no need to make any effort, no need to try any intimacy. And so it ended without interest.

When I was in college, I met a friend online, and then I got out of control, chatting and chatting, talking about study, talking about life, and talking about objects, although there is almost no intersection in life, but I can't stop talking. I can always get each other's points, I can always understand each other, and sometimes I feel that God, two people from afar who have never met, can have such a tacit understanding with each other. And after that, I can always see the record of a person going to my space, the name and avatar are always changed, but I know whose style it is at a glance, and every time I feel as if a light is lit on a cold night, and later, I find out that it is his girlfriend, and then we don't get in touch.

Yesterday my dad asked about her. Speaking of which, there has been no contact for about five years. We were junior high school classmates, and the relationship was so good at that time, that is, when I was in English class, the teacher would always ask people to get up and memorize words or 3a, obviously looking at me but her name, sometimes she went up to pay the money for the supplementary class fee or something, and the head teacher almost wrote my name at a glance.

Go to play in the new home of a good teacher, and you will be asked why she didn't come and so on. However, even if I thought that we would be good friends for life, even if there were occasional disagreements, they would be quickly resolved, and I never thought that we would be like this between us, we still became strangers.

Tired one day, I received a courier from Zi'an in the evening, saw the name on the courier list, and opened it happily and happily, it was a scripture book, a blue thread-bound book, and the purpose of opening the title page was to sprinkle gold rice paper, elegant and exquisite. I hugged the book and suddenly remembered that this is what you love. But I have seen you no longer say hello, no longer talk, no longer chase after you, no longer wait for you in the classroom, no longer eat with you, read together, run together.

We are strangers. I know and understand clearly. This self-inflicted sentimentality has finally come to an end.

She's my neighbor, always number one in her studies, loves to listen to songs, all sorts of things, and has a lot of tapes at home. She has two older sisters and a younger brother. Homework will be copied from her every time.

It was probably in 2008 that my grandmother came home and told me she was gone. Playing on the train track, listening to songs, I didn't see the train. After all these years, I always feel that she is still alive and well in Beijing, or somewhere I don't know.

I should have lost her.

My boyfriend passed away. 5:09 AM He leaves.

On the night I lost him, I woke up countless times. Panic for no reason, palpitations and chest tightness, throat stubble and uncomfortable had to gasp for air, and when the sky was a little brighter, he began to sobble and cry, feeling like he was about to suffocate. Flip through his messages one by one and delete them little by little.

Watching and being amused, I cried while shaking and pressing to delete.