How to prevent being treated as a tool man, and how to avoid being regarded as a tool man by other

How to prevent being used as a tool? At work. It's someone who deliberately uses you as a tool.

To you is what he is all around. He uses you as a tool. Everything is looking for you, and you are asked to do this kind of work.

Such a person knows that once and next time he can avoid talking about him and his tools, he can refuse him.

How to prevent being used as a tool? When you are looking for a job, you must find a qualified recruitment company, don't be deceived, otherwise you will help him as a tool.

How to prevent being used as a tool? This one requires you to do something, and you have to. Prevent this from happening on the web side, for example.

Prevent being used as a tool for enemies, because you can't do illegal things, you can only achieve what you like in your heart.

I think you need to be careful about this, and don't be easily taken advantage of.

It is necessary to form one's own independent consciousness, form one's own value judgment, and have a set of standards for dealing with others. At the same time, you must have decisive judgment, refuse when you should refuse, and never be indecisive and take care of one at the expense of the other. Remember, a lot of times, principles are bigger than emotions.

Tool man", let's not look at the word "person" first, just look at the word "tool", what is "tool"? The most basic meaning of "tool" is "the tool used in work", for example, a saw is a tool commonly used in carpentry, so will a carpenter use a saw when he is not working? Of course not.

Corresponding to people, what is a "tool man"? In the eyes of the other party, you are just a tool he uses to achieve a certain purpose, and he will only think of you when he needs to use you, for example, if you are a top student, you may be used as a "tool man" by the scumbag - only when you need to copy homework and cheat in exams, you will only think of you.

Subject: You said that your friends often ask you to take couriers and borrow computers and mobile phones from you, so I guess your friends may be your roommates or classmates? In fact, to judge whether the other party treats you as a tool or as a friend, just look at what kind of time the other party will think of you, if it is a real friend, then they should not only think of you when they need your help, they should chat with you, will share food with you, and will ask you to hang out with you (not the kind of people who make up the number)·· On the other hand, if they only look for you when they need you, then they definitely don't think of you as a true friend, and they may even laugh at you behind your back.

If you find that your so-called "friend" really just thinks of you as a "tool", and you want to change the situation, then have the courage to say "no", don't dwell too much on the consequences of saying "no", people will selectively forget - you helped him 99 times, and the 100th time you didn't help him, he is likely to only remember that time you didn't help him. Therefore, when you are determined to reverse this situation of being exploited, don't worry about the breakdown of the relationship, since this is a unilateral exploitation, there is no need to defend it. In addition, you have a second option, which is to "turn reactive into proactive" – why take advantage of it unilaterally?

You can also take advantage of others! You can also ask for help (even if it's something you can do on your own), and if someone rejects your request, you'll have even more reason to decline it!

The performance of a person who treats you as a tool is very obvious, that is, you must be there when you are needed, and ignore you when you are not needed.

This situation is especially like a spare tire between a man and a woman.

He has a higher status than you for the other person, and he can call you at any time when he needs you, and he doesn't even bother to pay attention to you when he doesn't need you.

This kind of relationship is very unbalanced and very abnormal, if you meet this kind of person, you must stay away from him, and never give him the opportunity to hurt you.

1. I only care about my own needs, and I won't think about you.

Since they are all said to be tool people, they are to be used, and it is not considered whether it will cause you difficulties and burdens. For example, there is a friend A's ex-girlfriend who is arguing to study in Japan, but the girl's family background or her own ability can't take out this money, so I concave my friend and bank credit to help her pay for studying abroad, although A prefers that his girlfriend can stay in Taiwan, but his girlfriend doesn't care, he quarrels three times a day, and argues that A takes out a loan to let the girl go to study abroad, and he has to remit living expenses every month, and then he can't video because his girlfriend wants to concentrate on studying, and his girlfriend will find him if there is something (for example, the money is not enough, Help to find information for reports, etc. Not long after graduation, his girlfriend broke up with him.

From the above examples, you can find that to meet your girlfriend's requirements, A will be very poor, lonely, and stressed, and the person who really cares about you will consider it for you, and it is impossible to be so selfish.

Second, when you are happy, it is none of your business, and you will be found when you are in trouble.

A friend has a crush on the company's junior B, the friend not only listened to him complain and gave suggestions, but also helped B revise the plan, the meeting was strong and gave connections, B also shrugged his friend and behaved very ambiguously, so B finally gained a firm foothold in the company from the original probation. Since then, B will only look for her when he encounters trouble, and he will find someone else at noon and dinner at night, once a friend quarreled with someone at the meeting and cried, B not only did not comfort and care, but even his friend relied on him to complain and just brought it casually, since he used you as a tool, of course, he would take it out if there was a need, after all, who would think of bringing a toolbox when eating, drinking, and having fun? Is that right?

3. I only expect you to give, but I will not give back.

To put it bluntly, he attracted you first and you didn't attract him, so the person who sees you as a tool man will rightly think that you should pay, since your relationship is originally based on inequality, the other party naturally thinks that you just want to be good to her or him. The relationship between people always has to advance and retreat, and guide each other to be long, but the person who only wants to take advantage of it never thinks that the relationship between you will last long, after all, it is just to enjoy your good, and the relationship will end when you can't stand it anymore.

It refers to someone who works hard and complains about others, gives on call, but can never be treated equally emotionally, and has been used as a tool by the other party.

After the relationship between a man and a woman, if a man behaves like this, it means that he is just using you as a "tool".

In the workplace, we should maintain professionalism and team spirit, take on our responsibilities as much as possible and help our colleagues complete the tasks. If a colleague needs help with a task, we can consider assisting, but only if we don't have a more urgent or important task to complete. At the same time, we also need to learn to say no and give reasonable reasons to avoid over-undertaking work tasks that affect our productivity.

I also need to communicate more with the other party in my daily life, especially about the other party's emotions, I must help him sort out as soon as possible, and spend more time with the other party.

In normal times, you must keep in touch and be courteous, so that when you use the other party at a critical moment, you will not let the other party think that you are using the other party as a tool.

You can care more about each other, you can prepare some gifts for each other, and prepare some surprises for each other, so that the relationship between two people will be brought closer.

To avoid being used as a tool, pay attention to the following five keys.

Assist with personal professions, and be courageous.

It's not just about getting along with friends of the opposite sex, but also when you're with friends in general, you also have to have certain principles. Especially when the other party asks for assistance related to your area of expertise, be brave**. If you are afraid of being unkind, or two people are very good friends and ambiguous friends, if you are willing to serve each other for free, you can also quote a market price first, so that the other party knows how much it costs to do such a thing, but you are willing to help with friendship.

Even if you don't charge a fee, make your profession reasonably priced in the eyes of others.

Let the other person know that time is precious and there is nothing to be done by the way.

In addition to professionalism, everyone's time is valuable. So you have to let the other person know how much time and effort it takes to help this favor, instead of pretending that it doesn't matter and making a trivial matter when you are in some trouble, and then after the other party thinks that you have done it for him "by the way", you feel that you have been taken advantage of and complain. Sometimes I say "by the way" because I want to reduce the feeling of indebtedness, but I can let the other party know that "by the way" is not "casual", and time is also a cost!

When it's time to refuse, you should refuse, and don't be afraid to say no.

Some people are easily used as tools because they are always embarrassed to reject others. Therefore, you must have the right psychological construction, "refusal" to help the other person do something, is not the same as "severing" the friendly relationship with the other person. When you establish this concept first, you can be brave enough to reject the other person.

If the other party will start to alienate you because of your rejection, it means that the relationship between you is unbalanced, and it just makes you realize that the other party is not worthy of your good treatment at all, so it is better to put your efforts on the person who knows how to cherish you more!

Don't be a hero with fewer casual promises.

Take every promise seriously, and others will take you seriously. In particular, some people with deep heroic ideas are prone to impulsively boasting and promising things that they may not be able to do. As a result, if you often exhaust yourself, or because you can't do it completely, you accidentally become a miserable tool person who "sweats and salivates".

Learn to take commitments seriously, evaluate whether you can deliver them before committing to them, and don't have to be forced to make important commitments in the moment, and take some time to think about them and maybe get better results.

Don't make the other person feel like you're willing to do anything.

The reason why you have become a miserable tool may be that you have sent out the message that you can be taken and asked for by others. Even if you are pursuing a friend of the opposite sex who you like, ingratiating yourself with an ambiguous partner, or already in a relationship, remember to maintain your self-dignity and not reduce yourself to a maid or a horse dog. Don't let the other person feel that you can eat you, and you are willing to do anything for him.

The love that needs to be humbly pleased to get is not real love, and you must change your mentality and attitude first in order to get rid of the fate of the tool man.

As the name suggests, the tool man is: hard work, pay on call, but never be treated equally emotionally or economically, and have always been called by the other party as a tool.

In the workplace, the most feared thing is to become a tool man!

And students who have just joined the work often encounter this phenomenon:

Most of the time every day is busy dealing with various process affairs, but usually receives temporary chores arranged by the leader, and the level of work efficiency basically depends on the familiarity with the process.

So how can "tool people" in the workplace avoid becoming "tool people"?

1. Enhance horizontal leadership and solve problems together.

The purpose of each communication is to let everyone understand the goal, so that they can work together, and in the process of communication, we should quickly guide everyone to solve problems, and constantly revise through discussion, so as to achieve team efficiency.

In everyone's inherent perception, power can only be exercised between superiors and subordinates, and if leadership is used between peers, it will not only make it difficult to complete tasks efficiently, but also easily offend colleagues at the same level.

In fact, it is not that you have to act like a leader after you are promoted, but that you will only be promoted if you show leadership skills at work.

Horizontal leadership is an essential skill for everyone in the workplace, because communication is ubiquitous in the organization.

2. Grasp the form and develop ideas.

Now is the era of rapid development, every minute and every second may appear a new industry and new opportunities, do to observe the situation, grasp the situation, broaden your horizons, do not be limited to this side of the land, as the saying goes, your vision, determine your world.

What we need to do is to broaden our horizons, pay attention to future development trends, plan in advance to lay out our capabilities, and find areas that can be controlled by our own capabilities.

3. Build core competencies in the workplace, and continue to think and improve.

The essence of core competence is the cognition of knowledge, the individual's cognition of himself, self-awareness, self-reflection, self-evaluation and self-regulation of the process, which includes three components: cognitive knowledge, cognitive experience and cognitive monitoring.

The topic of "midlife crisis" is endless, but there are still people who can be comfortable in any industry, because they have a long-term vision, build workplace meta-capabilities, and can continuously improve their capabilities in different fields and industries.

It is normal for the elderly of many companies to be indignant that their salaries are not as high as those of newcomers. Some newcomers are indeed more capable than the old ones. The old man has been in the company for a long time and has mastered the so-called "ten years" experience, but in fact, he has worked for ten years with two years of experience.

They have become old fritters and have no motivation.

And the newcomer is more energetic than the old man, and the energy is more vigorous than the old man. Therefore, the back wave beat the front wave to death.