When parents are older, how should the elderly deal with the relationship with their children?

First of all, when you are older, always keep a certain distance from your children, don't live with them, your children have a family, their educational background, social background, work relationship and values are very different from their parents, and they will pick up their children and grandchildren home for reunion on holidays, so that they can relax their tired body and mind after a week of intense work, do their best to make something delicious, and enjoy the joy of family, I want to say that I have to take into account the feelings of the other party, that is, I don't want to find happiness for myself, and there are some contradictions that you can't think of will follow one after another, and small differences will eventually precipitate in their hearts, just like a time bomb, I don't know when it will cause a big conflict, and the smart old man always keeps a proper distance from his children.

Secondly, when you are older, you will treat your daughter-in-law and son-in-law in all aspects with a good sense of proportion, and the smart old man will be a different matter, you are not used to all his (her) looks down on and opinions, and naturally has his (her) parents to discipline them, don't easily treat them like their own children, so that they can do this and that, let alone reprimand and scold, this not only offends the daughter-in-law and son-in-law, but even their own children will have disgust.

Third, the generation gap between parents and children as they get older.

Always there, don't interfere in your children's lives Young people like to sleep in, swipe their phones, don't like to do housework, like to order takeout, they think it's fashionable lazy and incompatible with your lifestyle. Don't feel uncomfortable and unaccustomed to it, these have nothing to do with you, all you have to do is not touch their things, don't help them clean up the room without taking it upon themselves, don't nag about the shortcomings of their children when they meet people, you know, people of our age, don't they have too many things to look down on their parents?

Finally, when you are older, good children, good daughters-in-law, and good sons-in-law are all old people who praise this is very important and very important, if you don't believe it, try it, when my son was in junior high school, he was very playful, and his academic performance has always been in the middle and bottom of the class.

, smiled and told his grandfather that my mother boasted about getting good grades in the exam. I also use this routine on my daughter-in-law and son-in-law, and it has really been tried and tested, people's hearts are flesh and blood, and no amount of preaching is worth a warm compliment, and the same is true for children.

When the parents get older, the relationship between the elderly and their children will become more and more tense, and the stages will slowly become larger, so the children should be more filial to the elderly, accompany the elderly more, and communicate with the elderly more.

How should the elderly who have a bad relationship with their children spend their old age?

If the children do not care about the elderly because they do not have a pension, it is the fault of the children, the unfilial piety of the children, and their lack of morality and humanity. If they are brought to court, they will be punished or punished morally, morally, and legally.

At this point, I have to say, how did you educate your children when they were young? Could it be that the principles of conduct handed down by the ancestors are not in accordance with the rules, such as "loyalty, filial piety, benevolence, filial piety to parents, respect for the old and love for the young, do not forget the fundamentals, know the kindness and repay the kindness, repay the report, and the eaves drip the old nest" and so on? I'm afraid you don't understand these truths, do you?

Then it is unceremoniously said that it is to learn from good people, to follow Duan Gong to dance ghosts and gods, the upper beam is not correct and the lower beam is crooked, it is the children who are acting on the upper line and the lower beam, it is to learn from you old people from elementary school, that is really a good teacher and a high apprentice, why should you suffer the sins you have created!

It is that the old people have a bad attitude towards their children, one is that they did not fulfill their responsibilities as parents when they were young, they do not care about their children, and they do not communicate with their children in thought, and the other is that they are old and have strange virtues, and they make things difficult for their children in every way. Speaking of which, I have to say more, since you are old and have no money as capital, you will put down some shelves and get along politely with your children, because you have to rely on them, in today's society, money is the backer, money is the hole card of survival, you have nothing, and you are still like a stone in the pit and stinky and not hard, how can you do it, who can tolerate you? Of course, the elderly who have pensions and social security do not want to drag down their children, and there are many who just can't get along in life and voluntarily live separately from their children, except for these.

In short, as the subject said, some old people, since they have come to this point, can only live separately in the long run, the supply of living expenses is negotiated by the children, if the children do not agree, it will be determined by legal means.

You should save your own money, and then when you reach old age, you can go to a nursing home, so that you can be well taken care of.

You should save more money, you can choose to go to a nursing home or hire a nanny to take care of your life, which is better.

Don't meddle too much in your children's families, and then be sure to put yourself in a nursing home so that you don't feel so lonely.

As long as you are willing to socialize and let your children follow their own way of companionship and become a life of their peers, then you can become a witness to their youth.

Children know how to be grateful, they grew up in their parents' education, so they will always remember the importance of their parents in their intention to grow up, so they will give their parents a lot of opportunities to socialize, that is, no matter how old their parents are, they are willing to go home.

If parents feel that they are getting older, when they talk to their children, they find that their children are not willing to talk at all, and they feel disgusted, it is because there is a distance between each other's aesthetics and a way of life, and they can no longer be connected.

Then look at what kind of companionship children need now, for example, they all like to play with their mobile phones, so when they return home, they still can't change this habit, so let them learn to enjoy the romantic time of their peers with their parents in the fireworks.

You can let your children cook at home, and then let your children participate in the family kitchen, and then talk and laugh together, there is a kind of fairy tale world when you are young.

Just like feelings are always cultivated, then when children and parents really can't get along together, it means that children are used to living in big cities, and they feel that their parents really don't have a kind of insight anymore, and they can't talk about a spiritual realm anymore.

Parents can tell their children about their life plans, let their children accompany in a family relationship, let their children feel that their parents are really too far-sighted, and then participate in each other's lifestyles together, and consume the most beautiful scenery of each other's youth together.

When you are older, as long as you live a very attractive life for the elderly, you can ignore when your children will come home? Because when your children miss you, they will go home without hesitation.

Favor the life of the elderly and the life of the children, deal with the distance between the two lives, the family is in each other's food, clothing, housing and transportation, and is still in the morning and twilight of each other's fate.

In ordinary life, you must respect your children, don't compare your children with other people's children, don't often deny your children, and when talking to your children, you must pay attention to your attitude, don't lose your temper at will, you can also invite your children to go to the movies with you, and you can also invite your children to travel with you.

If I think I have the ability to take care of myself, I should keep a certain distance from my children, and I can get together every day, and there is no need to be together every day, which will lead to a lot of conflicts.

You should communicate with them more, try not to live together, don't interfere in the children's lives, be a respectable elder, talk less, forgive more, and do practical things.

After the retirement of elderly friends, there will be plenty of time, so the time with children and grandchildren will be longer, and some families are grandparents, children and grandchildren are living together, whether they live together or not, family conflicts are inevitable, including the contradictions with children, daughters, daughters-in-law and sons-in-law, and these contradictions are relatively common, so how to avoid contradictions, and how to deal with and resolve conflicts as an elderly person?

First of all, let's talk about the conflict between the elderly and their married children, and recently from some cases of elderly visitors about the conflict with their children's families, we have learned that the basic contradiction lies in the difference in concepts, living habits and personalities, and the education of grandchildren.

The elderly and married children live together, because the son-in-law and daughter-in-law are new members of the family, so there are different understandings in the character and living habits, so that the relationship will be contradictory because of some trivial things, one of the main manifestations is the concept, some of the old people's patriarchal style concept, that as parents must have absolute dignity, no matter what the children must be absolutely obedient, respectful, their starting point is to prove the filial piety of the child, and ignore the respect for the child, and encounter problems and contradictions, Just count the children as useless, and this kind of disrespect leads to the child's rebellion over time, and ambivalence gradually arises.

Some old people will wishfully regard their children as children forever, no matter how old they are, no matter how old they are, no matter they have their own independent life, forming their own habits and concepts of life, in this case, when encountering different opinions, children insist on their own views, because the times are advancing, some old concepts and practices are indeed not suitable for the current situation, and at this time the old people agree with the implementation of their own views, as the standard of whether to respect and filial piety to the elders, This makes the children very helpless and at a loss, and the contradictions are accumulating in the long run.

The elderly interfere too much in the children's small family life is also one of the contradictions, the children have their own small family, have their own life, they have their own way of communication in their own lives, especially between husband and wife, it is normal to make trouble, sometimes there are small contradictions and some quarrels are inevitable, at this time, if the elderly interfere because of some trivial things, then let the children have a great sense of constraint, so too much interference in the children's life, will slowly make the children respect youBecause children have their own concepts and thoughts in adulthood, the elderly cannot impose their old ideas on their children, because they live in different eras, value standards and concepts will be different, for the sake of family harmony, do not interfere with their lives at will, so that they will be loved by their children.