Doting affects the development of a healthy personality, how to do it to be a love that does not los

Many parents will also be distressed that they are often reluctant to beat and scold their children when educating them, but they are just blindly spoiled, so that they lose the development of their own personality, and become too naughty and do not obey their parents' education. So when dealing with children's education, what kind of attitude and practice should parents put on, so that children can not only feel love, but also accept a certain amount of strictness?

Analyze the problem moreMany parents often only verbally criticize a few words after their children do something wrong, or directly complain about two sentences, so that their children can not realize that they have done something wrong, and they can't talk about making changes. Therefore, when parents encounter such a situation, they should patiently sit with their child, and then seriously tell him what is wrong in this matter, analyze the problem with him, and ask if the child understands. Finally, I should also warn my children how to do it next time they encounter such a thing, and not to make similar mistakes again.

Appropriate rewards and punishments and more parents often give their children satisfaction as soon as they have a request, so that children do not understand that everything needs to be reciprocated by their own efforts, they take this as a matter of course, and do not know to cherish. Therefore, parents must pay attention to their children when they usually educate them, and punish them to a certain extent when they refuse to change their ways. It's not that you have to scold your child, but by restricting the things he likes.

For example, if the child has made a mistake several times today because of the same thing, then the parent can limit how long he will not be able to play games or watch TV tonight, so as to enhance the child's memory. And after the child does a good job in the next time, parents can give a certain reward. And say to your child that it is because you realize your mistakes and actively correct them that I will reward you.

At the same time, it instills a certain notion that all rewards are earned because of the corresponding effort you put in. <>

It is certain that parents will feel sorry for their children because of their children's hands-on behavior, but we can't cause children to do nothing because of this distressAnd don't want to do it. Parents should also let their children do something of their own when they are young. Similar to helping parents run errands or clean the table when they were young, they can help parents wash clothes or cook when they are older.

In this way, the children's ability to do things on their own can enhance their relevant learning ability and reflect their independence when encountering things. <>

Try not to take the initiative to help your child solve problems, but also let them do some housework appropriately, and don't be too rich to support him.

Spoiling should also have a bottom line and principles, such as impolite behavior can not be used to, the education can not be soft-hearted, and slowly instill correct life values in children, so as not to make detours in the future!

When we love someone wholeheartedly, we must leave some reason, don't let our love become a way to harm each other, and we must love someone rationally.

In the process of pampering our children, we must also have a bottom line. If the child does something wrong, it must be corrected in time, and it cannot be left unchecked.

You can care for and love your child, and enlighten your child when she encounters something sad, but you can't agree to any of your child's requests without principle.

First of all, even if you love someone again, you have to stay sane. It is not possible to go beyond what he accepts, because then he will easily become emboldened.

In life, it is especially common for parents to spoil their children, and it seems to sound great because on the surface, doting is when parents sacrifice themselves to meet the needs of their children.

From a psychological point of view, the root of doting is the narcissism of parents. They ignore the real growth needs of their children, regard them as another self, give excessive satisfaction, and spoil their children are actually essentially doting on their inner self.

Everyone has two selves in their hearts, one is the inner child and the other is the inner parent.

One of the very important reasons for doting is that the parents' inner child projects outward, projecting their inner child onto the real child, and giving the child uncontrollably, in fact, satisfying their inner child without control.

When parents spoil their children, it is easy to ignore their own developmental needs. Doting parents want their children to never grow up and be the projection of their inner child for the rest of their lives, or else they will feel lost, like they have lost something.

Sometimes we think that if we have a girl, we should buy her all the beautiful dresses, the best love and care, which is actually our own satisfaction with our inner child.

Dodging is a lazy irresponsible love. Corresponding to doting is true love, knowing how to respect the different needs of children at different stages of growth. Know how to let go, accept and be happy to see your child become independent and grow on their own.

This is a challenge for many parents. First of all, parents have to admit that their children are independent people, not accessories of their parents. It is difficult to do this, so many parents unconsciously choose lazy doting.

There are two kinds of doting Changchong, one is the arranged doting and the conniving doting. Arranged parents arrange everything for their children, the children get everything without having to do anything, and they do not encourage the children to solve problems on their own. The indulgent parent fulfills all the needs of the child, no matter how unreasonable the request, and does everything in his power to meet them.

If parents do not encourage their children to explore themselves, they will not be able to form their own feelings, their own abilities and thoughts, which will ultimately prevent them from being themselves.

If parents know how to respect their children's developmental needs, then such children will have a clear sense of identity, a strong sense of curiosity and a high degree of creativity.

It is only through our own exploration that we can form ourselves, know who we are, and know where we fit in the world. Because it's all your own choice.

But if you meet doting parents, then the child will lose the opportunity to explore, such parents force the child to shape according to their own intentions, do not know how to respect the child's independent personality, no matter how perfect this arrangement is, such a child will still not know who to live for. They may also live under the control of their parents for the rest of their lives, for the rest of their lives.

And a person is the most powerful only when he lives for himself.

Dodging is a gentle trap. Their children will eventually fall prey to doting.

Spoiling and arranging instead of love is not love When today's children first enter kindergarten, most of the children's intellectual development is quite good, but there are many children who are not only selfish (playing with toys, eating and not sharing with others) and have poor self-care ability in life, slow motor development, and uncoordinated (even eating, dressing, and going to the toilet need the help of teachers). Is it the child's fault? No, but it is the result of parents' pampering of their children.

Many parents pay great attention to their children's intellectual development from an early age, give him stories, teach him to speak, let him listen to **, play games, it is no exaggeration to say that Chinese parents are the most selfless parents in the world, and they do their best to give their children everything. Because it is the relationship of only children, so in life, parents or the older generation focus on the child, gradually, the child is accustomed to his centered lifestyle, there are toys to play with, there are things to eat, over time the child will form a selfish heart, resulting in the child can not coexist peacefully with others after entering the kindergarten, often scratching, quarreling phenomenon. In addition, parents are always afraid of tiring their children and fearing that he will be in danger, so everything in life will be replaced.

For example, when the child staggers up and down the stairs, he is always worried that the child will fall, so he holds the child up and down the stairs, and when the child eats all over the floor, he is worried that the child will not be full, and the spoon chops the mouth, eyes or nose, and feeds the child. The child has to eat and drink, and the parents always take care of it, and they don't need the child to spend a little tongue and effort, so that his hands, feet, mouth, eyes, etc. have lost their "usefulness". Parents, you must know that spoiling and arranging substitution is not love but harm to children.

In fact, love to pay is not equal to the harvest of love, the method is not appropriate, sometimes the more you pay, the less you get, the child does not have the opportunity to exercise, never grows up, does not have the ability to correspond to his age, and can never adapt to the needs of social development, therefore, parents should not neglect to cultivate children's self-care ability and selfless dedication while cultivating children's strong physique and intelligence.

The child is the pearl of the parents' palms, and the parents are afraid of melting in their mouths for the children, and they are afraid of the sun in their hands, and they dare not give the stars to the moon, and they dare not pick the stars if they want the sun. Everything for children, even if it is what children can do, parents have done it, it can really be described as "a collection of thousands of pets"! However, when satisfying children's material enjoyment, they ignore the watering of children's hearts.

It's worth pondering.

I have been engaged in teaching for many years, and I have come into contact with many children and parents, and I believe that how to grow up like a flower depends on the parents, and there are no more than three situations--- flowers in the mountains, flowers in pots, and flowers in vases.

Children who grow up like flowers in the mountains and fields freely absorb the sunlight, moisture and air they need, live vigorously, strive for progress, and repay the earth with the fragrance of flowers and flowers.

Children who grow up like flowers in pots are pampered, without wind, frost, snow and rain, weak and can't help the wind, and when the greenhouse of survival is dilapidated, it will be decadent and hopeless.

A child who grows up like a flower in a vase has no roots, becomes a plaything, sad and painful, and loses everything he has is tantamount to a prisoner.

There is no parent in the world who does not love their children, and the love of parents for their children is often incomparable, but please remember that doting is not real love, and children are also a world of free growth, and consciously let children grow up healthily in life.

For example:"Giant babies"This case is more clearly understood by looking it up on the Internet.

The child is an angel given by God, many parents can't put it down, they can't wait to pick off the stars and moon in the sky and give it to their children as gifts, they love their children very much, as long as the children have needs, they will give him the best. But some parents can't grasp this degree, from pampering to doting, not only their own bottomless spoiling of their children, but also asking the people around them to follow her to spoil their children, she does not feel that others have no obligation to help her spoil children, but feel that others must spoil her children, unprincipled and bottomless doting behavior will only promote incompetence, do the following points of love is just right.

1. Pampering children must have a bottom line and principles, and never compromise on the wrong things

In many public places, it is often seen that some parents are helpless against their children, as long as they do not follow the child's wishes, the child will roll on the ground and cry loudly, which makes the parents very embarrassed, so they can only compromise and say: As long as you get up obediently and don't cry, whatever your mother wants will buy it for you. It is because you don't get what you want to splash and roll, in this way to let parents compromise, once the compromise child succeeds, it tastes the sweetness, and will only be happy to threaten parents with this trick in the future, parents should not be unprincipled compromise, wrong things to reason with the child, let the child know right and wrong, and when the child figures it out himself, he will naturally not cry.

2. Children should be praised for doing right, and children should be punished for doing wrong

Some parents themselves can't tell right from wrong, whether the child has done a good deed or a prank, parents will think that the child is naughty and cute, do not say anything to stop, but laugh, this will give the child an illusion, the more I mess with the parents, the happier I am, this seems to give the child invisible encouragement, let the child be more unscrupulous to make trouble, parents should distinguish between right and wrong, whether the child is intentional or unintentional, as long as the wrong thing is done, must be punished, After the punishment, you must analyze with the child why he was punished, ** did wrong, and hope that he corrected it, the easier it is to ignore the problem in small things, the more it will make the child take a detour.

Spoiling will only ruin the child, you don't love the child, it's harming the child, don't let the child grow up and won't feel that you spoiled him, but feel that what you do is taken for granted, and you are not capable, but blame the parents for giving too little helpThis kind of doting way raises only white-eyed wolves.

I think it is necessary to love children and let them know the truth, and not let them be arrogant.

You have to let go of some things, and you have to care about them, so that you can love them just right, which will help them grow.

On major issues of principle, we must formulate them well, never let them cross this bottom line, and give them appropriate encouragement when they do better.