How can you tell if an invitation in an interpersonal relationship is fake and polite?

First of all, it is necessary to determine what kind of person this person is in ordinary life. Generally speaking, many people can probably understand each other's personality in the process of daily contact. If you are a person who is usually very sincere, the invitation of the basic person is also sincere, if you are a person who is more oily on weekdays and is not very sincere and loves to play with her heart, then most of this kind of person's invitation is just lip service, and there is no need to accept it seriously.

Of course, this is only a rough judgment made from a person's personality and conduct revealed in their daily interactions. There may be a certain amount of error, and it is impossible to judge from this point for people who are not familiar with each other and have less contacts.

Secondly, it is to see under what circumstances the invitation is received. Many people are generally more polite when inviting others.

And sincerely, some are even polite enough to send you a message alone, sending a meal location time. In this case, it generally shows the importance and sincerity of the other party to the invitation. Or take the matter of eating as an example, generally speaking, the invitations that are told to you in advance are more sincere, if you meet temporarily or invite others after inviting others, most of them are polite for the sake of face.

Of course, if it is the second case, it is good to politely decline.

In fact, I think it's not so much about how to tell if an invitation is a fake kind in an interpersonal relationship, but whether you have the heart to go to the appointment. If you want to go to the appointment, you won't care if the other person is actually inviting you or if you are polite.

Of course, if you accept the other party's invitation quickly, then the other party's reaction is the most direct feedback, if the other party is sincerely happy, it must be a sincere invitation, if the other party's face changes, or directly stunned for a while, most likely did not expect you to agree, in this case, many are fake polite. Of course, even if you agree, you can find a reason to prevaricate if you find that the other party is just fake politeness.

Look at the eyes of the protagonist.,If it's particularly honest and earnest, it's sincere.,Invite.,If there's some dodging, it's fake politeness.。

See if people say that they will be invited again after another day. Many people's invitations are "another day", and if they don't confirm the time with you again, it's just polite.

If, in interpersonal interactions, the other party is not only verbally invited, but also in action, then it is not a false politeness.

The other party will be very serious when inviting you, and it is also out of a sincere attitude, if it is fake and polite, it will only be casually talked.

It mainly depends on the actual friendship between you and the other party, if the relationship is average, don't take it too seriously, most of it is insincere, don't fall into an embarrassing situation.

In relationships.

Want to be sure of the other party's fake politeness.

You can observe it from his movements and interactions.

For example, suppose the host says it on the lips.

Wish you stayed a little longer.

But she got up and was busy with this and that.

It can be understood as fake politeness.

Fake politeness is a very important lubricant for interpersonal relationships, indispensable, and although it conveys ineffective information, it is the main means of maintaining human affection.

The so-called fake politeness is not to say greetings. Fake politeness, just like my friend, I asked him to borrow a few dollars, and after a day, I sent a red envelope back to him. He politely said that he didn't want a few dollars, but he ordered it away immediately.

Another time I asked him to lend me a red envelope of ten yuan. In the evening, I gave him a red envelope. He said in front of him that he didn't want to leave right away.

When he came back from out of town and gave him a hundred things, he said no, and he couldn't wait to accept it immediately. Isn't it too fake and hypocritical for you to talk about such friends?

In the traditional concept of China, proper fake politeness is not contrived, not hypocritical, but a kind of politeness, a manifestation of self-cultivation, whether fake politeness or true politeness, do what you think you should do in life, don't consider the opinions of others.

China is a country of etiquette, Chinese interpersonal communication is like this, more scene words, kind words, polite to each other, everyone is happy, fake politeness has become a very important interpersonal lubricant, indispensable, although he transmits invalid information, but is the main means to maintain human feelings.

Why do you say fake politeness? Because sometimes because of face and affection, you can't be too direct, and it is a characteristic of Chinese, how to look at it? Eight words: Although hypocritical, it is necessary.

Give you a stick, are you really a needle? This is traditional culture, a matter of face, a polite sentence he thinks you respect him! If you don't say polite words, some people will say that you are not sensible!! But it's not hypocrisy, it's just a Chinese custom, just follow the customs, just get used to it!

Chinese are accustomed to this way of greeting, perhaps not really paying attention to questions such as "have you eaten" and "what have you been busy with lately", but just want to say hello to you and then do their own thing. Otherwise, what do two acquaintances say when they meet? Everybody's busy.

Now a lot of fake politeness in the wine field is actually forced to be helpless. In the road, a mask is a must, and if you give someone a fake and polite greeting, others will at least feel the sense of presence and respect from you.

Fake politeness can be seen as a ritual. So that both parties can deal with the problem calmly and without losing face.

The Chinese are really wise, and "fake politeness" is not fake and not true.

I think sometimes it's easier to get along with people with the right courtesy. However, sometimes you will always meet some people who are too polite, which is annoying.

Too introverted to make it.

Question No. 1: Hope not to accept attention and disrespect than not to talk, think or interrupt workDon't listen to nagging, know that everyone is busy.

Choose to chat at night, make an appointment in advance, talk about things, and want to find a seat unless it is particularly urgent, except to understand the second question: good at calculating, and even reciting discussions, not noticing the single money and single character, I persuade the grievances, indicating that I am absolutely good at calculating, although I do the surface to increase the degree of hypocrisy.

With sincerity, you must pay first and report the decision, you really have to think about it again, don't care about finding the advantages.

In interpersonal communication, how to judge a person's character and whether it is worth associating with, as long as you carefully observe and understand him, you will know.

What are the basic principles of interpersonal communication?

In our society, the basic principles that should be followed in the interaction between people are:

1) The principle of equality.

In socialist society, the relationship between people is one of equality, and in our society, there are only differences in the social division of labor and the scope of responsibilities between people, and there is no distinction between high and low. Regardless of the level of position, the size of the ability, or the difference in occupation or economic status, everyone enjoys equal political and legal rights and human dignity, and should be treated equally. Respect other people's hobbies, habits, and customs.

Only by respecting others can others respect themselves.

2) The principle of good faith.

Treating people sincerely is the guarantee for the continuation and development of interpersonal communication, and treating each other with sincerity can we understand, accept, trust, and unite each other. As far as life is concerned, it is difficult to achieve success and happiness by relying only on one's meager strength. In communication, we should treat people sincerely, seek truth from facts, be open-minded, and be consistent with words and deeds.

Mutual trust, respect for others, humility and prudence, civility and politeness can build good interpersonal relationships.

Life is a mirror, if you smile at it, it will smile at you, if you cry at it, it will cry at you. ’

Isn't it? How to look at life is indeed related to the subjective world of people: people who do not have sunshine in their hearts are bound to find it difficult to find the brilliance of sunshine! People who don't have the fragrance of flowers in their hearts are bound to find it difficult to find the brightness of flowers!

In that case, face life with an open-minded attitude! Don't have a small belly! Don't worry about it! Life is a string of rosaries made up of countless troubles, but you have to count them with a smile. Laugh at life.

3) The principle of fraternity.

Chinese Confucianism has a tradition of 'benevolence loves others', and in our socialist society, people should be more united and fraternal. Take the initiative to unite others in interpersonal interactions. Those who tolerate others, others will tolerate them.

Mutual respect, humility, and generosity are the keys to building good relationships. Friendship means loving comrades, friends, colleagues, and the people. True love is about helping others and giving their strength when others need it.

If you want to get what others can't get, you have to pay what others don't want to give.

4) The principle of mutual assistance.

Caring for each other, helping each other and reciprocity, is the objective need of interpersonal communication, in life, everyone will inevitably have difficulties and need help from others; At work, they also need to cooperate, support each other, and work together in their respective positions. Helping each other is a traditional virtue of the Chinese nation. When one person is in trouble, everyone helps; When one side is in trouble, all sides support.

To help each other is to be willing to help others, and to be enthusiastic when others need help when they are in difficulty. Mutual aid and reciprocity, a person who is not willing to help others, it is difficult to ask others to help him voluntarily. Helping each other is not taking advantage of each other, and using each other is not practicing sincerity and friendship.

Chapter 1 Basic Interpersonal Skills.

1. Don't criticize, blame or complain about others.

2. See the advantages of others and give sincere and sincere appreciation.

3. Stimulate the needs of others' strong inner desires.

Chapter 2 Six Secrets to Making People Like You.

1. Genuinely care about others.

2. Smile.

3. Remember a person's name.

4. Be a good listener and encourage others to talk about themselves.

5. Understand the other person's interests and talk about topics that interest him.

6. Make others feel important—and do so sincerely.

Chapter 3 Twelve Ways to Get Approval of You.

1. The only way to win a debate is to avoid it.

2. Respect other people's opinions and never blame others for their mistakes.

3. If you're wrong, admit it quickly and honestly.

4. Start in a friendly way.

5. Make the other person say "yes, yes" immediately.

6. Make the other person talk more.

7. Make the other party think that it was his idea.

8. Sincerely look at things from the other person's point of view.

9. Be sympathetic to the thoughts and desires of others.

10. Stimulate people's noble motives.

11. Dramatically express your thoughts.

12. Present a meaningful challenge.

Chapter 4 Nine Techniques for Changing Others Without Hurting Feelings.

1. Start with praise and sincere appreciation.

2. Indirectly remind others of their mistakes.

3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.

4. Suggest the other party instead of giving orders directly.

5. Make the other party save face.

6. Praise the slightest progress and praise every progress.

7. Give people a good reputation and let them work hard for it.

8. Use more encouragement to make other people's mistakes easier to correct.

9. Make the other person happy to do what you suggest.

Chapter 5 is to make your family life happier.

1. Don't nag!

2. Don't change your partner according to your will.

3. Don't criticize.

4. Give sincere appreciation.

5. Pay more attention to the little things.

6. Be polite.

7. Read a good book about sex in marriage...

(1) Remember other people's first or last names, take the initiative to greet people, and address them appropriately, so that others feel polite and valued, and give people the impression of being approachable.

2) Be generous and calm, make others feel relaxed and comfortable, and stimulate the motivation of communication.

3) Develop a cheerful, lively personality that makes the other person feel that it is pleasant to be with you.

4) Cultivate humorous words and deeds, humorous without losing proportion, funny without being frivolous, and giving people the enjoyment of beauty. Be humble in your dealings with others, be kind and respectful, otherwise things will backfire.

5) Be calm and don't complain, so that not only will you be happy and self-contained, but others will also be happy.

6) Pay attention to the charm of language: comfort the traumatized and encourage the failed. Compliment those who have truly achieved something, and help those who are in need.

7) People who are decisive, assertive, energetic and confident are easy to stimulate the motivation of others, win the trust of others, and produce the charm that makes people willing to communicate.

In communication, the level of discerning the interlocutor can be judged by the relationship between the two people and the attitude of both parties towards each other.

The three levels of interpersonal communication:

The first level of interaction is superficial interaction. Manifested in general politeness, politeness, etc.

The second level of interaction is the exchange of interests. The two parties deal with each other for their own interests or common interests, and this kind of interaction will have an important impact on a person's survival and development, which is more realistic, and directly involves the essential core of interpersonal communication - the issue of interests.

The third level of interaction is spiritual interaction. This kind of interaction is about morality, beliefs, principles, feelings, friendship, etc., and is a high-level exchange.

Interpersonal Tips:

The three levels of communication are indispensable, they must be faced, and they must be done well. But people need spiritual communion more. The philosopher Locke said:

The lowest level of human freedom is to be able to speak to others. Spiritual interpersonal communication includes fascinating mutual appreciation, free space and mutual conversation, and of course, practical ideological and even material mutual help. Bacon once argued that friendship has several functions, saying that it has "the practical value of regulating feelings, communicating ideas, receiving counsel, harnessing and enhancing reason."

Spiritual communication is not like interest exchange, which can be measured by value, for example, emotion is a kind of spiritual interaction, and emotions that can be measured by value are worthless.

Spiritual exchanges will be more durable than interest exchanges—communicate with money, and forget when you give up your consumption; to benefit from communion, and to dissipate when the benefit is exhausted; Communicate with the potential, and the potential will tilt; Communicate with power, and abandon power if you lose it; Communicate with love, love dies and hurts; Idealistic communication, quiet and far-reaching. Spiritual communication is simple and true, it is not the conscious absorption and glue of both parties, but the unconscious penetration and integration of each other. Conscious adsorption and bonding, often with purpose and utilitarianism, or subtle, or intense, in short, it seems, some have evil intentions; The unconscious infiltration and integration, otherwise, the clouds are light and the wind is light, the wind comes suddenly, the clouds go lightly, there is no desire, it is the most sincere handshake of the heart, and it is the purest demand of emotion.