What s the funniest black humor story you ve ever seen?

I saw that there was an issue of "If You Are Honest, Do Not Disturb" The man's appearance and temperament were all last time, very masculine, and sure enough, after he briefly introduced himself, there was no accident that all 24 lights were on, and after the end of the **, there were only two lights left on the field, why? Because he rides a bicycle to work. The host asked with a smile

You know why? He said very clearly: they can't meet their material expectations.

Lejia laughed and explained that he had a car and a house. What a big show!

There was a buddy resting in the café when he heard 2 boys chatting. Boy A: Hey, it's better to send a girlfriend for 4 or 4s.

When this buddy heard this, he disdainfully took out his iphone5 and deliberately played with it, thinking, what age is it, and he gave his girlfriend four generations, pretending to call ** to his girlfriend loudly, "Wife, I bought another iphone5, give it to you, and you will replace it with that 4s." After a while, it wasn't until boy A said, "After all, the acceleration performance of 4s is still a little stronger than that of 4", and this guy knew that they were talking about Porsche 911. Then he silently put away his phone and left.

Xiao Ming dropped the Apple 6s into the river, and the river god gave Xiao Ming two mobile phones because of Xiao Ming's honesty. And Xiao Wang imitated itchyly, took a Samsung note7 and threw it into the river, but the river god was blown to death.

An old grandmother crossed the river and accidentally dropped her chicks into the river.

In a hurry, the river god came out, took out a golden rooster and asked, "Is this yours?" ”

No. Then he took out the silver rooster and asked, "Is this yours?" ”

No. The river god nodded approvingly: "You old woman is quite honest, I have given you both things." ”

When the neighbors heard about it, they threw their ducklings into the river.

As a result, the ducks swam away. ‍‍

Hades sent a little ghost to visit a famous doctor in the world, and said, "You see that there is no doctor in front of the door who has unjustly died." "The little ghost led the decree and came to the world, every time he passed through a doctor's door, there were unjust ghosts everywhere, and finally when he went to a doctor's house, he saw that there was only one unjust ghost wandering by the door, and said:

There must be a famous doctor here. "When I asked, it turned out to be a new listing yesterday. ‍‍

There was a polar bear and a penguin playing together, and the penguin plucked the feathers off his body one by one, and when he was done, he said to the polar bear, "It's so cold!" When the polar bear heard this, he plucked the hair off his body one by one, turned to the penguin and said, "It's cold!"

Do you think Sun Wukong fixed the Seven Fairies and really didn't do anything? There are exactly seven gourd babies, and together they can turn into stones.

Tell a joke: Li Yifeng and Yang Ying won the Best Supporting Actor and Actress awards at the Hundred Flowers Award. ‍‍

There is no difference between the first and the penultimate first. "Why? "I'll give you an example. What do you say is the highest mountain in the world? "I don't know, what peak? ”

A patient is on an intravenous drip in the hospital and suddenly laughs into a drip bottle. When asked what she laughed at, she said, "I laugh low!" ”

The share capital of Daosheng Bank is 2.25 million rubles in Imperial Russia, 3.75 million rubles in France, 10,000 rubles in Daqing, 5 in Imperial Russia on the board of directors, 3 in France, and 0 in Daqing.

The little fish spoke very slowly, and he asked the big fish, "Big fish, what do you like to eat?" ”

Big Fish said, "I like to eat slow-talking fish." ”

So Xiaoyu: Oh, sauce purple! I made it!

Apple: I'm out of 7.

Huawei: I'm out of 8.

Samsung: Fried! Apple, Huawei: I can't afford it.

Masterpieces of black humor include the following works:

Article 22 Catch-Ts. * This is a classic work by Joseph Heller, which depicts the cruelty and absurdity of war with humor and absurdity, as well as the inescapable existential dilemma faced by humanity.

Gravitational Rainbow. * This is Thomas Pinchin's masterpiece, revealing the loneliness, existential pain and inescapable fate of human beings in modern society through an absurd plot.

Tobacco brokers. * This is Kette Voynigg Jr.'s masterpiece, revealing the competition, deception, and absurdity of modern society through the story of two tobacco brokers.

Slaughterhouse No. 5" is hidden. This is a masterpiece by Donald Baheng and Selm, revealing the cruelty and absurdity of war, as well as the existential dilemmas faced by humanity, through the eyes of a slaughterhouse owner.

In addition, "Alive" and "Two Big Smoking Guns" are also masterpieces of black humor. **

In general, black humor is a humorous way of expressing desperate and bitter emotions, revealing the loneliness, helplessness and existential pain of human beings in modern society through absurd and exaggerated plots. These masterpieces all show the cruelty and absurdity of this kind of existence, as well as the pursuit of freedom, dignity and survival of human beings from different angles and techniques.

1. Rabelais's "The Legend of the Giant";

2. Cervantes' Don Quixote;

3, Voltaire's "The Honest Man";

4. Kafka's "The Trial";

5. "A Whole Million" by American writer Wes Ruler;

6. Heller's "Catch-22 Disturbing Reed";

7. Vonnegut's "Slaughterhouse No. 5";

8. Thomas Pynchon's "The Rainbow of Gravity";

9, Vönig's "God Bless You, Mr. Rosewart";

10. Nabokov's "Lolita", "Puning", "Dim Light", etc.

1.You only know that the gap in IQ is insurmountable.

2.Don't **, you're ugly not only because of the fat letter banquet.

3.I used to think that people who relied on relationships must be very incompetent, but after contact, I found that people were better than you.

4.Life is like this, there are laughter and tears. Some people are mainly responsible for laughter, others are mainly responsible for tears.

5.There is nothing difficult in the world, but the rich are afraid. Things gather like and people divide poor. Rich people eventually become married. I am willing to be a winged bird in heaven, and I am willing to be a local tyrant on the earth.

6.You just need to watch others wonderful, God has other arrangements for you.

7.Most of the success is not based on hard work, nor on dramatic opportunities, but on predetermined origins and talents.

8.It's not that all successful men have a woman behind them, and most successful men don't have a woman before they succeed.

9."Mom didn't mean you, you see that you are looking for that object, you look so ugly, you can't understand the words, if I tell others that this is my son-in-law, I will feel ashamed. ”

10."His family has more than a billion yuan. ”

11.Of course, people don't have to live so vainly, so why should they care about what others think? What's more, love is inherently blind, mom supports you! ”

12.Laziness is a good excuse, as if you can really do something big if you are diligent.

13.I used to earn very little money on my knees, so I also imitated those good people and tried to stand up, but I lost my job.

14.When you are disgusted with the other person and you can't find a home for yourself, "for the sake of the children" may be a good excuse.

15."The princess is sick.

There is nothing else, either ugly or poor. "What about the rich, pretty, but bad-tempered ones?" "That kind of princess is supposed to be a princess, not called sick.

"Canned".

The three prisoners were sentenced to three years in prison at the same time, and the judge allowed each to bring one of his favorite things to prison, A chose a Bible, B decided to bring his wife, and C asked for a cart of canned beef; Three years passed, A was released from prison and used the knowledge he had learned in three years to become a pastor. B was released from prison followed by his wife and a two-year-old child; He was unkempt and skeletal, and he was still muttering to himself when he walked out of the prison door: "Damn, I should have brought a picker." ”

1.There were three people who went to the breakfast shop to buy breakfast.

The first person said to the boss, "Boss, I want an omelette, but not the yolk." The boss fried an egg.

The second person also said to the boss: "Boss, I want an omelette, but I don't want egg whites." The boss did the same, but was already a little impatient.

When it was the turn of the third person, the boss asked him unceremoniously, What about you? Don't you want your eggs to be excited, okay? The third person was a little timid and said, "Me." My unknown lead wants eggshells.

One day after class, the teacher hurriedly walked into the classroom and said, "Come two people, I want Huiqiao class flower." "Everyone thought it was fun, especially the boys, they were very excited and very positive, and after some twists and turns, they finally selected two very beautiful girls, and the teacher waved his hand:

Let's go, come with me to the Academic Affairs Office to move flowers. ”

As soon as I was washing clothes in the water room, I came in and said to her, "Marry me." She was stunned, speechless, and I said, "What are you doing, give me the hanger." ”

An uncle went to the bank to withdraw money, walked directly to the window, and the security guard came over and said, "Uncle, press the number." "Pure talk.

Uncle: "What's the matter?" ”

Security guard: "Press the number." ”

The uncle thought to himself, it is worthy of a big bank, and he has to secretly serve Zheng Hao to withdraw money, so he whispered to the security guard: "The king of heaven covers the tiger." ”

The security guard helplessly helped the old man press out a queuing ticket, and the old man thought: I was scared to death, and I was actually blinded by me.

There was an uncle who went to see a doctor, and the doctor asked him to test his feces and urine, and he called him and pee. Then he came over with a mouth full of and said to the doctor: I can still swallow it, but I can't swallow it! The doctor was speechless.