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In today's families, many children have a close relationship with their grandparents, that is, grandparents, and grandparents, and are relatively distant from their parents, and even some grandparents and grandchildren have become spiritual sustenance for each other to a certain extent. This kind of grandparents' affection for their grandchildren is more than their children's, commonly known as it"Intergenerational parenting"。The love of the elderly for their grandchildren is much greater than the love of parents for their children, and it is not enough to explain it by blood relationship, there are also psychological reasons.
The grandchildren are like the rising sun, and the grandparents are like the afterglow of the sunset, and they have the same and complement each other. As the saying goes"Old kids"、"Little adult", that is, the similarities between generations; Grandparents and grandchildren together, the young are caressed, the elders are happy, they complement each other due to the middle generation due to the busy work and housework left by the blank and missing time and space, this is the formation of the next generation in today's family, there are many children and grandparents and grandparents are closely related, and relatively distant from parents, and even some grandparents and grandchildren, to a certain extent, have become each other's spiritual sustenance. This kind of grandparents' affection for their grandchildren is more than their children's, commonly known as it"Intergenerational parenting"。
The love of the elderly for their grandchildren is much greater than the love of parents for their children, and it is not enough to explain it by blood relationship, there are also psychological reasons. The grandchildren are like the rising sun, and the grandparents are like the afterglow of the sunset, and they have the same and complement each other. As the saying goes"Old kids"、"Little adult", that is, the similarities between generations; Grandparents and grandchildren are together, the young are caressed, and the elders are happy, and they complement each other to fill the gap and lack of time and space left by the middle generation due to busy work and housework, which is an important reason for the formation of intergenerational kinship.
Due to the relationship of age, fathers and sons have more of their own opinions on issues such as life concepts, which are prone to estrangement, contradictions, and even conflicts; The grandparents are also unguarded by each other due to their age, so they are easier to get closer, which is undoubtedly also an important part of forming intergenerational relatives.
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I think so, generally speaking, an older person, he has experienced a lot of things, and he has seen a lot of things, so even if there are all kinds of friction with outsiders, but with his grandchildren, they are basically obedient, so it is difficult to have contradictions, and when there are fewer contradictions, it naturally feels closer.
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There is indeed such a phenomenon, the so-called intergenerational parenting.
The primary reason is that the grandparents themselves do not have many days, and their own lives are being continued in the next generation that they can see, which is the expression of the desire to live.
Secondly, there are the following reasons: as we grow older, our intelligence and psychology will become infantilized, and we will have more proximity to the next generation; The control over the children is weakened, the common language is also reduced, and the expression of love for the younger generation is easier to realize in the grandchildren. After the grandchildren are caressed by their grandparents, their affection for their grandparents will soothe the loneliness of their grandparents.
The oldest and the youngest, those who are disappearing and those who are being reborn, these are the two extremes of the family, if there is a more long-lived senior, the same reason, there are complementary factors, but the main aspect of the problem is in the older generation.
I have observed that although the elderly often complain that their grandchildren are naughty, tiring, and annoying, and that the child's parents are busy and have to take care of them, in fact, if the child's parents really want to take their grandson away, they will often be extremely uncomfortable and even have a nervous breakdown.
When a child is young, he has a stage of growth that identifies with the environment, which is a stage that includes animals for survival needs. So this kind of pro will also be manifested as a pro to grandparents.
Intergenerational parenting is an objective existence. However, if the grandfather takes the grandson for a long time, the negative effect will be greater than the positive effect. For example, a boy, if he is not with his father for a long time, will lack masculinity, after all, the grandfather has reached his old age, masculinity decay, with the acceptance and identification of the social growth stage, the child will enter the stage of cultivating independent consciousness, the lack of masculinity, as the most important quality of men, may be difficult to make up for for life.
In addition, the culture of the parents' generation is closer to the progressive side of society, which is conducive to the growth of children and better integration into society.
It is necessary to recognize the intergenerational parents and deal with all aspects of emotional needs in the family, but also to treat them rationally and handle them properly to facilitate the growth of children.
In the animal world of the jungle.
There is hardly a phenomenon of the upbringing of young children, at least to the extent of my knowledge, in which an important function of parenting is protection, and parents are in a position to shoulder this function only if they are strong. So it's almost a phenomenon that is unique to human beings.
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However, after having our own children, is our status in the hearts of our parents really inferior to that of our grandchildren? It is believed that intergenerational parenting is not a curse, but an inevitable phenomenon born with the intensification of economic and social development and population aging.
First of all, it is the "compensation psychology" of the elderly to their children: in the past, the old people were very harsh on the education of their children, and severe reprimands and even scolding were the norm, but as the children grew up and started a family, this harsh education will make the elderly feel guilty, so after having grandchildren, the education method will have a 180° change, becoming softer and more doting, hoping to compensate for the attitude towards children.
The second, and most common and important reason is loneliness.
Where does the loneliness of the old man come from? First, the children have grown up, but they can't keep up with the pace of the times, and the communication between parents and children is becoming less and less, which forms a psychological barrier, making the elderly more attached to the immature children, because the children are always open to the elderly; The second is that most of the children are busy with their own careers, often leaving their children to the elderly, but they rarely have the opportunity to go home.
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Why is the relationship between grandparents and grandchildren so close? Because of the long time of companionship, children are generally watched by the grandparents of the next generation, and the grandparents are basically not responsible for the child's education, but only responsible for the child's food and clothing, so there is basically no contradiction between the two, and the relationship is relatively good, so it will seem that the emotion of the next generation is particularly close. qui te amo。
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The relationship between grandparents and grandchildren is very close, because as elders, they feel that their lives are coming to an end. With the younger generation, it is equivalent to the continuation of their own lives, and they regard this continuation as the motivation for their continued survival, so the next generation especially loves their next generation.
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The psychology of indebtedness and compensation to their children by their ancestors is the next generation.
When I first became a parent, there were always shortcomings of one kind or another. When his children have children, he hopes to give double that love to his grandchildren.
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Because maybe at this time, the grandparents and grandchildren take care of them more, and they spend more time together, and their two families are more of a younger age and an older age, and there will be this kind of want to take care of the younger and respect the greater.
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Attachment to society.
Many old people reach a certain age, basically begin to enjoy the retirement life of their later years, almost no longer have to work, and the contact with some things in the society will gradually decrease, which will make the elderly have a certain psychological gap, then at this time, when the next generation of grandchildren or granddaughters appear, it will reawaken the psychological needs of the elderly for the society, so that the phenomenon of the next generation is very normal.
It is a great psychological comfort for the elderly.
Children are more cheerful and lively, which will add a lot of fun to the lives of the elderly, so that the mentality of the elderly is also a lot younger, so that life is full of vitality, and get a lot of psychological satisfaction, which is why many young parents complain that their parents are much better for their grandchildren than when they were young.
Sometimes it is a pleasure for the elderly to take care of their children, but not a responsibility.
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There is a saying in Chinese folk that "intergenerational relatives", but in fact, I have always had doubts about this statement in my heart.
Intergenerational parenting refers to the fact that grandparents have more affection for their grandchildren than they do for their children, but from the perspective of contemporary reality, this statement is increasingly inconsistent with the real situation.
Our generation, our previous generation, is generally poor, and there are still many children, so even if poor parents want to give their children good things, they can't give them because they don't have the financial means. And after the grandchildren are born, the grandparents have a little savings and can give the grandchildren some material things. Moreover, grandparents can have a lot of time to take care of their grandchildren after retirement, so it feels like a "generational parent".
This feeling is no longer there after our generation, because the younger generation is now materially richer than their own parents, and there are many cases of mothers taking care of their children at home.
When I think about these questions, the more I feel that my generation of parents is great, a generation that runs a family in poverty.
What I want to say is that our current education should look at the post-40s and post-50s generation, and their educational concepts are worth learning from today's young parents. For example, respect the teacher, be strict with the child, and so on.
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People's lives are formed after slowly improving. In the past, there were many children and grandchildren, and the grandchildren did not like it, and there were often children who liked obedient children, not absolutely, but indeed biased. It is this kind of prejudice that may have a bad relationship between father and son, mother and daughter, after all, there are many children and grandchildren, and it is helpless and powerless.
At the same time, the limited economic conditions do not allow every grandchild to be loved.
There is also the pressure on children's lives. Many parents bring their grandchildren, partly because of the burden on their children, and now young people are really under pressure, fierce competition, difficult to do, low wages, and not enough money to spend. People's lives are formed after slowly improving.
In the past, there were many children and grandchildren, and the grandchildren did not like it, and there were often children who liked obedient children, not absolutely, but indeed biased. It is this kind of prejudice that may have a bad relationship between father and son, mother and daughter, after all, there are many children and grandchildren, and it is helpless and powerless. At the same time, the limited economic conditions do not allow every grandchild to be loved.
There is also the pressure on children's lives. Many parents bring their grandchildren, partly because of the burden on their children, and now young people are really under pressure, fierce competition, difficult to do, low wages, and not enough money to spend.
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This is mainly the love of the elderly for their grandchildren, and they pay without any strings attached.
In the same way, the child's feelings are pure, and whoever is good to him likes him.
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The emotions of grandparents and grandchildren mostly come from the very doting of the elders for their children, and this doting also blocks the discipline of the parents and will give the other party enough tolerance. Because it's not a direct leadership relationship, it's indirect.
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In our life, we feel that the happiest thing is family harmony, every day at home can feel the happiness, when a family has children, you will find that the family has become different, become more things than before, for the sake of the child to take care of the overall situation, family is the best person we are in this world to us. So now let's look at such a question, the next generation is often closer, why is that? I think that the next generation is more intimate because I especially enjoy the time with my children after I was huge, and I can feel the joy of family, because I need to work hard when I am young, and I may not have time to enjoy the warmth of the family, and when I am older, I especially like this kind of time, and I am very good to my grandchildren or granddaughters.
One. When you are older, you especially enjoy the joy of family.
When you get older, it's easy to feel lonely, unlike today's young people who always like to play with their phones. When they get older, they just want to have a grandson or granddaughter by their side, so when they have their own grandchildren or granddaughters, they take special care of them, they love them very much, and many times they are always with them, enjoy the joy of family, and have more time to spend with each other, so the next generation is closer. <>
Two. Young people are always on the run for life.
Most of them know that if they want to live a good and happy life, they need young people to continue to work hard and keep paying for the family, so they don't have much time to spend with their children, so many times children always feel that their parents spend very little on themselves, but in fact, this is not the case, but they have to go out for life. The two adjacent generations always don't have much time to get along, their relationship is not as good as that of the next generation, and sometimes they are forced to keep working hard for life. <>
The above is just a personal opinion, so why do you think the next generation is more pro-generation?
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"Intergenerational parenting" refers to the phenomenon of the elderly themselves replacing their grandchildren. "Intergenerational relatives" can best relieve the loneliness and loneliness of the elderly, get great relief mentally, and even glow the "childlike heart" of the elderly that has not yet been extinguished. The so-called "intergenerational parenting" phenomenon is essentially or more about the emotional attachment of the old to the young.
The primary reason is that grandfathers, grandmothers, grandfathers, and grandparents themselves do not have many days, and their own lives are continuing in the next generation that they can see, which is the expression of the wish of life.
Secondly, there are the following reasons: as we grow older, our intelligence and psychology will become infantilized, and we will have more proximity to the next generation; The control over the children is weakened, the common language is also reduced, and the expression of love for the younger generation is easier to realize in the grandchildren. After the grandchildren are caressed by their grandparents, their intimacy with their grandparents will soothe the loneliness of grandpa, grandma, grandpa, and grandma.
The intergenerational pro-generation is because the older generation sees their grandchildren and grandchildren jumping around, and they can't help but think of the liveliness and cuteness of their children when they were young.
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