The secret of healthy intimacy, what are the specific modes of getting along in a healthy intimate r

The main tip is that intimacy is the most important thing in life. Each of us is looking for a partner who loves us and understands us all our lives.

If we find it, our hearts will be settled, like a ship sailing away, knowing that the harbor is in **. If you can't find it, your heart will be confused, you will lose yourself in loneliness, and you don't know the meaning of life.

Of course, intimacy can also be self-restrictive.

People often refer to their partner as the other half, in fact, a person is incomplete, only two people together is a complete system, when you enter an intimate relationship, you enter a system that is connected with love, transcends the individual, and has its own independent life.

Therefore, intimacy can have a great mutual impact on the self: when the other person is happy, you will be happy too; When the other party encounters a crisis, his crisis will also become your crisis; When the other party recognizes you, you will be full of confidence; The other person dislikes you, and you will feel that you are terrible.

This kind of influence can become a benevolent volume, mutual nourishment, or it can become a malicious **, an attack on each other, so that you can avoid it. It can be said that intimacy not only limits you and makes you have to give up part of yourself, but it is also equivalent to giving up the power to hurt yourself.

In many cultures, especially in the West, people tend to place a high value on love, especially the romantic spark between two people at the beginning of love. That means we have a physical attraction to each other, and it also ignites the "chemistry" in our brains. We are attracted and then fall in love, moving towards a longer-term relationship or marriage.

Sadly, however, intimacy often loses momentum at certain moments: sudden separations, arguments, or eventual collapses. Is love, or lack thereof, really to blame in such moments?

> I have feelings for her, but I don't love her anymore. We often hear couples who have just broken up say things like, "I just don't love him anymore." ”

We're just drifting apart. ”

> I have feelings for her, but I don't love her anymore. ”

I really thought I loved them, but it turned out to be otherwise. ”

But I think understanding is more important than love, especially in intimacy and parenting. We need to teach this to our children, so that when they understand that they put themselves in the shoes of their partners, first understand and then seek to be understood, each of us wants to be seen, heard, and understood. If you love and don't understand, you'll have a lot of conflict.

And once the conflict prevails, the less you love and attract each other, and you will drift apart. So, for a relationship, "love" is not enough.

I work hard every day to better understand the people I love. This understanding of intent is very important for relationships, but it is not always easy. But healthy love and relationships are strengthened by a willingness to understand, and conversely, love without understanding withers like a flower without water.

You don't need to love others by understanding them, but you do need to understand them to build lasting relationships.

Emotions are at the heart of the relationship, and when you share and understand these emotions with your partner, you become patient, the emotional outbursts are no longer intense, and your relationship will not be overturned. Not all relationships are designed to go further, but all relationships can thrive in a healthy way, and understanding is the key to maintaining relationships, even more so than love. For a healthy relationship to thrive all the time, love is indispensable, but it also requires understanding, complemented by trust, commitment, and respect.

A healthy intimate relationship is generally able to make two people develop in a better direction, both parties can understand each other, support each other, and their love life will become more and more harmonious.

There are several modes of getting along in a healthy intimate relationship, first of all, the symbiotic self-intimacy model, the cohesive self-intimacy model.

Little boys and mothers, little girls and fathers, men and women, little boys and little girls, these are the four main modes of getting along.

<>< 8 signs of healthy intimacy.

8 signs of healthy intimacy

1.He listened to me when I needed it.

he can listen to mewhen i need it。

2.We keep our promises to ourselves and to each other.

we keep our promises toourselves and to each other。

3.I'm free to be my true self.

i am free to be myself。

4.We are all willing to understand the different perspectives and values of Wanxiang.

we are all willing to understanddifferent views and values。

5.We understand each other's expectations for relationships and life.

understanding our feelings andexpectations for each other'slives。

6.We are able to express different points of view and hear and understand each other's ideas.

we can express different viewsand hear and understand eachother's thoughts。

7.We are able to discuss, clear and deal with conflicts in a timely manner when we encounter new situations or disputes.

we can meet new situations ordisputestimely discuss,dredge and deal with contradictions。

8.In front of him, I was able to discuss my true emotions and feelings without worrying about him judging me or worrying about the bad consequences of sharing.

in front of ta,i can discuss mytrue emotions and feelingsdon't worry about ta judging meor worry about badconsequences after sharing。

To maintain a healthy intimate relationship, we must first maintain intimacy, and secondly, make the relationship between Bi Hu Que and his hand and mind healthier. In this way, you can achieve your own purpose.

Here is a case study of the subject, including my thoughts and suggestions!

Hello subject, after reading your description, I can feel the entanglement and pain in your heart. Hug you!

One line wide, after reading the subject's description, I roughly summarized the following points.

Your boyfriend feels that you are doing a lot of things wrong and wants you to make a change, and it all comes down to "it's all for your good".

There are some things you want your boyfriend to do that he can't, and you feel miserable when he needs to make you change things that he regrets.

I want to have an intimate relationship that "tolerates each other".

Second, briefly talk about my personal opinion.

In the first intimate relationship, most of us want to have a better partner.

But in fact, there must be some shortcomings in our partner that we don't seem comfortable with. At this time, we will think about changing our partner's shortcomings and making them better.

However, if we think about it, we will find that our starting point is that two people can have a better intimate relationship. However, in the end, it is for "selfish gain".

Why?

Because each of us is selfish.

Why do we sometimes want our partner to get rid of the "shortcomings"?

Because these "shortcomings" are unaccustomed to us personally, do not conform to our own "three views", and conflict with our "selfish interests".

Therefore, under the guise of "it's all for your good", it is indeed for your own interests.

The process of change must be a "painful" process. If we want to change, we have to step out of our comfort zone and do something we have never done before, which must be unhappy.

It's a bit like learning, and most of us don't naturally like it.

In a healthy intimate relationship, what is most needed is "equality".

If it is said that they cannot be relatively equal to each other, then in the end, there is a very high probability that it will lead to "both sides lose".

I think we have to be equal to each other.

It doesn't matter if it's housework, or work. Both partners need to do it, and no one is higher than the other.

In the end, I especially want to bless the majority of little fairies with a word:

Girls must be independent (especially financially)!!

I am [Living the Meaning of Life], a young man who talks to his heart and mind.

It's not easy to code words, help give a thumbs up. Thank you!

Let's make progress together!