How to prevent an imbalance when building intimacy?

In my heart, I must treat him as my best friend and treat her as my own relative.

I always love to make this mistake, and I always have a gap with my friend after a while, but it's not that she has changed, it's that your mentality has changed. If you say a thousand things and ten thousand, you are afraid of losses, so don't care.

Then you should have more communication and more communication in your life to be able to have this mentality and avoid imbalance.

The mentality is unbalanced, and then it breaks.

I have always been in an unequal "intimate" relationship, of course, I am the one who gives more, at the beginning I observe and study the other person, cater to the other person's preferences, love what he loves, do what he loves, satisfy what he loves He is satisfied in this relationship, and I am happy to do it. Later, after a long time, there was some friction, and gradually I also needed to care for and be loved, but he couldn't give it, and he didn't want to give, and then I realized how stupid I was The one who blindly gave in the relationship, and what he needed was only my giving, and all kinds of contradictions and conflicts appeared, intensified I also experienced all kinds of struggles, pains and entanglements And now I am completely dead, a person who doesn't love you or someone who doesn't love you so much, what you do is in vain. Now, I am myself, I don't think about pleasing others, I love myself, it's good, life has become easier and simpler.

Recently, it has also been mired in this problem. Mainly friends, I always feel that I give more, I always remember to bring her gifts when I go out; I'm afraid that she won't be happy and don't tell her something very irritating; I always listened patiently to her complaints, and even when I was unhappy at the time, I would actively try to comfort her. And so on and so forth.

But I thought about it again, she didn't force me to do these things, I did it voluntarily, so don't fight for anything. In the future, don't always do too much, and hug her when she says she needs it, it's actually the best.

If you like something, you just put in just the right amount of energy, and it makes you more gentle and humble. It's the same with liking someone. An intimate relationship is a work of art that balances chemistry and fate, as Hellinger says"A good relationship is one in which both parties receive and give in a balance, and both parties feel valued in the relationship.

Receiving love, and then loving better, is a virtuous circle.

To occasionally think from the other party's point of view, if it is unequal pay, this kind of intimate relationship can not be maintained, the two are honest with each other, pay almost can not care about the gains and losses, such as today I wash your clothes, tomorrow you mop the floor This is to warm each other! Instead of blindly taking, relying on the other party and asking for giving.

Balance or imbalance, there will be a result in the end. There is no absolute balance, as many people say, be yourself. What does it mean to be yourself?

Comfort yourself because everyone is an independent individual and can't control others, so you can only restrain yourself. Anything that is not up to a certain level is a painful and long process. When the imbalance reaches a certain point, it gives up.

It depends on the individual's tolerance limits. To be yourself is to try to stop losses in the case of imbalance.

I happen to be in a relationship, there are two things to pay attention to when getting along with each other, one is: constantly improve yourself, in the process of improving yourself, your mood is good, your ability is high, no matter how you pay, you don't feel unequal, only your own things are less, and you can't pay to just reach inequality; The other is: consider the problem from the other person's point of view, so that the relationship between two people will be more intimate and will understand each other more.

It's impossible to ignore gains and losses, all you can do is calm down when your mentality is out of balance, think about whether it's worth losing a friend because of your so-called loss, and then make a decision.

1.Emotional stability can lead to anticipation. When your partner is emotionally stable, you can anticipate his reactions and actions more clearly, and this predictability helps to harmonize the relationship.

2.Emotional stability is conducive to the rational solution of problems. When emotionally charged, it is difficult to make rational and constructive judgments, which can affect the effective resolution of problems.

Relationships can inevitably lead to problems, and emotional stability helps Yu to communicate and think rationally to find the best solutions.

3.Emotional stability can lead to a sense of security. People who are emotionally unstable can bring more insecurity to their partner, which can compromise the stability of the relationship. Relative emotional stability can make a partner feel relied on and trusted.

However, the continuation of the relationship also depends on many other factors:

1.Mutual understanding and acceptance. This is the cornerstone of building trust and security, far more critical than emotional stability.

2.Fit of lifestyle habits and values. This determines how well two people fit together in their daily lives.

3.Personality matching. Personality differences can lead to gaps in communication, problem solving, and value judgments, which also affect the stability of relationships.

4.A common purpose in life. The lack of a common vision and direction of life can lead to the drift of both parties in the long course of life.

5.The depth of affection and trust in each other. This is the basic element that underpins a period of deficit and is far more than a change in mood.

So, overall, I agree that emotional stability helps with the continuation of the relationship, but it is not the only and not the decisive factor. More core elements such as understanding, trust, and life fit, together with the depth of the relationship, determine the stability of a relationship. Emotional changes will inevitably occur, and the key lies in whether both parties are inclusive enough to understand and accept.

So, I'll expand this idea to mean that long-term intimacy is more dependent on inclusivity, understanding, and emotional depth. Emotional stability is only one part of the auxiliary, not the only dependent.

In the midst of disagreement,The most common mistake we make is to "think we understand each other very well".

With your own ideas,Arbitrarily judge "that's what you think"., the result is not only to misunderstand each other, but also to push the relationship between the two people further and further.

Express your feelings more in communication, so that the other party can empathize with your current mood, rather than rushing to express your own thoughts.

A lot of the time, in our use of ".I think" "I think, we are not expressing feelings, but thoughts.

After expressing our feelings, we also need to be aware ourselves: Why am I feeling the way I feel? What would do it make me better?

After thinking about it clearly, tell the other party directly, what kind of torture these things have made me feel, and I can't do anything about it, I hope you ......

In the midst of disagreements, some of our thoughts and comments often contain Huai's attacks on others, but it is easy to intensify the conflict and express feelings, so that the other party can really think from your point of view.

In this process, there are two tips to keep in mind:

1.You can use "I crave ......"I need ......"I want ......This kind of vocabulary that clearly states needs.

2.Make concrete requests, not abstract ones.

For example, "I want you to care" is an abstract request, and "I want you to praise me" is a concrete request.

In the process of communication, you must not only learn to express yourself, but also learn to listen to each other more.

When you don't understand the other person's conversation, you can also interrupt appropriately to better understand the other person

For example: Wait, I don't know if I'm right, do you mean that?

But here are a few things to avoid:

1.Education:"You should remember this lesson. ”

2.Criticism:"You're really stupid like that. ”

3.Advice:"You'd better spend more time with me. ”

4.Sympathy:"You're so pathetic. ”

5.Comfort:"You've done your best. ”

6.Emotions of rejection:"Don't get angry and don't punish yourself for someone else's mistakes. ”

7.Tell your own story:"The last time I told you something, you didn't give me a response. ”

8.Survey:"When did this start? ”

In marriage, we will inevitably encounter conflicts and contradictions, but it is not terrible to encounter these, but what is terrible is that we dare not face it.

In the face of intimacy, emm, if the other person is too emotional, you can help him to relieve his emotions. After trying to get him out of a bad mood, if there is still not much relief, you can try to let the other person digest it alone for a while, you can pay more attention to him during this period, and provide him with some help when he needs you when he returns to Qiaochang, this wide model is the best way for the other party and the best way for you to deal with it

Summary. How to deal with bad emotions in intimate relationships? A:

Don't ignore or escape the other person's current emotionsWhen the lover's mood is indeed in a low state, then, don't deny the other person's emotions: "nothing", "It'll be fine later", and don't blame the other party for having the current emotions. Try to understand that the other person is really in an uncomfortable mood and pay attention to the other person's present moment.

How to deal with the bad feelings of intimacy? Answer: Don't ignore or escape from each other's current emotions When your lover is really in a low state of emotion, then, don't deny each other's emotions:

It's nothing", "It'll be fine in a while", and don't blame the other person for having the emotions of the moment. Try to understand that the other person is really in an uncomfortable mood, and pay attention to the other person's present moment.

You've done a great job! Can you elaborate on that?

How to deal with the bad emotions of an intimate relationship abandonmentAnswer: Step 1: Be open-minded, ask questions, and don't replace the other person's true thoughts with guesswork.

In the spring of picking friends and disagreements, the most common mistake we make is - "thinking that we understand each other very well". Using your own thoughts, arbitrarily judging "that's what you think" not only misunderstands the other party, but also pushes the relationship between the two people more and more.

I agree with that. From my personal experience, I agree with this view, because in my married life, emotional stability is one of the key factors in our long-term intimacy.

First and foremost, emotional stability allows people to better handle the challenges of their daily lives. If we are in an emotionally stable state, we can better address the absence of questions and stress on stress. This also helps us to better handle our relationship issues.

For example, if our partner makes a mistake, we can better control our emotions and thus deal with the problem better. If we are emotionally unstable, we may overreact to the issue, which can lead to bigger problems.

Secondly, emotional stability can also increase trust and security among people. When we share our feelings with our partner, we want their support and understanding. If our partner is constantly in a state of mood swings, we may feel upset and unsupported.

Conversely, if our partner is emotionally stable, we can share our feelings more freely because we know we will have their support and understanding.

In addition, emotional stability can also help us communicate better. When we are in an emotionally stable state, we can better listen to and understand other people's perspectives, leading to better problem-solving. If we are emotionally unstable, we may have more difficulty listening to and understanding other people's perspectives, which can lead to communication difficulties.

To sum up, I believe that emotional stability is essential for long-term intimacy. This stability can help us better handle life's challenges, increase trust and security, and help us communicate better. Of course, everyone has different situations and needs, which can mean that emotional stability isn't that important for some people.

But overall, I think emotional stability is one of the foundations of a healthy, stable, and long-lasting relationship.

There is some truth to this view. Long-term intimacy requires both parties to maintain a stable emotional state, so as to maintain good communication and mutual understanding, and reduce conflicts and conflicts.

If a person is emotionally unstable, it can have a negative impact on the relationship, such as frequent temper tantrums, mood swings, lack of a sense of completeness, etc. These factors can destabilize intimate relationships, affecting the relationship and quality of life for both partners.

Of course, emotional stability isn't the only factor in intimacy. Other factors such as communication, trust, common interests, etc., are equally important. Only by working together can a stable and healthy intimate relationship be established.

The stability of an intimate relationship depends on many factors, including but not limited to the following:

1.Trust: The stability of an intimate relationship needs to be built on mutual trust. If either party lacks trust in the other, the relationship becomes unstable.

2.Communication: Intimacy requires good communication, including listening to each other, expressing one's needs and emotions, resolving conflicts, etc. If both parties are unable to communicate effectively, the relationship can also become unstable.

3.Empathy: In an intimate relationship, both partners need to have enough empathy and be able to understand each other's feelings and needs. If one party lacks empathy, it can bring tension and instability to the relationship.

4.Common goals: The stability of an intimate relationship requires both parties to have common goals and values. If the goals and values of both parties are too different, the relationship can also become unstable.

5.Loyalty: Intimacy requires both partners to remain loyal and not betray each other. If one party betrays, it can have a huge impact on the relationship and make it unstable.

In conclusion, the stability of an intimate relationship requires both parties to work together, based on multiple factors such as mutual trust, good communication, empathy, common goals, and loyalty.