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If the opponent is on guard, he will have to stop some strong attacks. He's already on guard, all you have to do is go along with her and calm her emotions.
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The other party has a strong sense of vigilance, which means that the other party is not particularly interested in you, and is just playing with you, and this relationship is not very serious.
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You can have a heart-to-heart conversation with the other party, talk about this problem directly, and see if the two people can find a better solution. If it doesn't work, break up.
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That means that the other party still doesn't trust you very much, no matter how hard you try to love each other well, so that the other party has a sense of security, and you will not be wary of it slowly.
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Try to move the other party with small things, habitually be good to him, even if you are hard-hearted, you will be moved one day. Love requires each other's dedication, and companionship is also very important.
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This kind of is not to let the other party really trust themselves, should communicate with the other party more, whether it is good or bad, so that the other party understands you better, so that they will trust you.
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Gender relations are important lessons that we need to learn and further throughout our lives. Today I'm going to introduce to you that my boyfriend is very vigilant, how we should deal with it.
Tung Chop1.Everyone has their own patterns, and they bring them into their relationships.
Initially, we see and learn from our parents and our parents' relationships. Parents, and family of origin.
It has an important impact on us. If you don't have the ability to learn.
We will continue to follow the trajectory of our parents' lives. Cherishing and valuing feelings is not only responsible for oneself, but also responsible for the other party. Now you are in the stage of love, and it is possible to enter marriage and family in the future, so if you want to know more about your boyfriend, it is recommended to know more about his parents and his upbringing.
From your statement, the boyfriend is in an intimate relationship.
There is a special need for a sense of security.
Target. The sense of security is what we get from the relationship between our parents, the company of our parents, and the parenting pattern of our parents when we are 4 months to 3 years old. Long-term separation of parents, lack of companionship for children, and discord between parents will affect children's sense of security.
Insecure people are sensitive and suspicious, and are prone to behavioral disorders, mood disorders, and interpersonal relationship disorders.
2.Understand the attachment relationship type
In order of emotional stability, the four types of attachment relationships are: secure (low avoidance and low anxiety), obsessive (low avoidance and high anxiety), dissociating (high avoidance and low anxiety), and fear (high avoidance and high anxiety). In a secure attachment relationship, both partners are able to live comfortably and easily with each other without suspicion of the other.
In an obsessive relationship, one partner has a warm desire for the other partner, but may not be able to get a warm response, so they will feel anxious from time to time, for fear that the other party will abandon them one day. Alienated couples keep their distance from each other, don't want each other to know too much, and prefer to have their own space. The most unstable fear type is to treat feelings negatively, although they expect to be loved, they almost do not report hope, and their psychological entanglements are greater.
Well, that's all for today's sharing, I hope it can be helpful to you, if you have other comments or views, please leave a message in the comment area below, I will reply one by one after seeing it, thank you.
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When getting along with each other, you must be very sincere, try not to joke with Jingsen Li Fangchunbei, Ying Liang should communicate with each other more, chat more, tell each other what you think in your heart, and let the other party slowly remove his guard.
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I should choose a more cautious way to get along with each other, and I should also be more honest, so that there will be better development.
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No matter what you do, you should take the initiative to communicate and discuss with the other party, and don't hide it. Otherwise, the other party will often feel that they are lying to the other party.
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The other party has a strong sense of vigilance, so in this case, you should give the other party enough security, because now to take care of the other party, so that the other party can dispel this vigilance.
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If this kind of problem occurs, it must be that you don't give enough security. So you can approach him in his way and respect his habits. Let others get used to your presence first, and he will naturally be able to let down his guard.
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Then you should always get tired of being with the other person, so that the other party feels that you are a reliable person, so that you will let down your guard.
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Then insist on accompanying each other and taking care of each other, and one day the other party will let down their guard and will really associate with you.
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Then stay by each other's side more, communicate and communicate with each other more, and you can let the other party let down their guard.
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Be closer to each other, spend more time with each other, and let each other experience a feeling of happiness, so that you can let down your guard.
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Then you need to melt him with your own sincerity, let him open his heart to you, and talk to him more.
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Be doubly nice to him, talk to him more, make him believe in you and be attached to you.
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The stronger a person's rational psychology, the weaker his sense of security, the stricter her defense against love, that is, he will not easily let a person into his heart, he has always advocated a rational life before, that is to say, he has been living on his own, whether it is a boy or a girl who is independent, a person with a particularly strong autonomy, it is difficult to rely on someone for love all at once, because he has become accustomed to doing everything alone, studying and working by himself, eating and solving by himself. All the difficulties, he is not used to it, he is defensive about suddenly relying on a person like this, it is normal that she will not accept love suddenly, so it is said that it will last for a long time, and this kind of long-term run-in can be the emotional progress between two people.
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I have encountered such a thing, when my boyfriend is in love, he is very guarded, at that time I really give all my feelings to treat him with my own enthusiasm and our love to melt the ice in her heart, and slowly let him feel that I am sincere to her, no matter in life, work and study, I give her meticulous care, so that his guard will no longer have a person who can accept me.
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I think generally in love, if you just start to fall in love, then the other party will definitely have a strong sense of vigilance, this is very normal, everyone wants to protect themselves from being hurt, this is in love, they are not very familiar with each other, I don't know how it should be in love? So it's normal for them to use their guard to protect themselves.
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Then you have to relax your own push appropriately, the other party is defensive of you because he feels that you are invading his privacy, everyone has their own little secrets, you must learn to leave some space for each other in love, don't be all transparent, so it is easy to make each other from nothing to nothing to say.
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Love needs to trust each other and tolerate each other, and if there is a problem, you can communicate in time, and you can't be suspicious or wary of each other. Otherwise, it will be difficult to make it to the end. If two people feel that there is a problem, they can communicate actively, don't hold back and don't speak, don't communicate, and have a sense of defense, which is a bad state of development.
Such a person will not get good results in life, if you want to make a lot of friends, you must become a little more tolerant, you must learn to take a step back in order to open the sky.
I feel that I have a strong sense of substitution, because I have a sense of substitution for the feelings of others, so I have a certain degree of empathy for the emotions experienced by others, so the corresponding psychological vicissitudes will be relatively fast.
I can't play the games of my childhood anymore because I'm older and I can't learn and ask anymore because I know; Enough is enough, I can't see people rich, because I have low self-esteem, I can't see people poor, because I'm not rich, I can't eat and drink nonsense, because I want to maintain health. So I don't like to be lively anymore, what haven't I seen? So it's not interesting not to go out. >>>More
A friend introduced and talked about the meeting that I didn't meet until a year after the breakup of online dating.
Yes, there is no so-called pure friendship in this world, because the normal interaction between boys and girls will not be so pure, isn't there always such a sentence, friendship takes a step forward is love, love takes a step back is friendship, but it still has a degree compared to the scruples of love. There are friendships that transcend love, but there are few, but it is precisely because of the few that they are precious.