Why would you rather be cold to yourself than be afraid of sudden concern and burst into tears?

I feel like I'm going to go one day.,It's better not to have it at the beginning.,It's still a bit of a gap between having and losing and never having it.,To put it bluntly, it's inferiority.,I haven't learned how to accept myself completely.。 Don't be in a hurry, take your time, the kindness of strangers is not so burdensome, and their kindness will give me the feeling of kindness given to me by the world in an instant.

I sometimes do this because I'm afraid, afraid that I'm not that important in their hearts, and afraid that my efforts will be disappointed. After a long time, I have formed my own comfort zone, most of the time I am immersed in my own world, I am not used to someone breaking in, and every time I have an in-depth chat with others, I will feel uncomfortable and uneasy.

Usually people are often misunderstood, thinking that I am cold and don't like to deal with people, but in fact, I am inferior, more and more unable to get along with others, more and more lonely, less and less active, well, people like me are lonely.

But then I also thought about it, a lot of times it's mediocrity and self-disturbance, in fact, even if others really don't treat you as a friend from beginning to end, what if you do your best, it's okay if you don't feel sorry for others, and you really can't control what others like.

Norwegian Woods

There is a saying that I have admired for many years, "Who likes to be lonely, but they just don't like to be disappointed." "But that's not right, you have to go out, you have to put your friends in the right place, you don't care too much about what matters. I think you have to be confident and think you deserve to be loved and seen.

Be the most authentic you and others will not be disappointed, but indifference will be especially disappointing. So don't be afraid to run away when you're in the spotlight anymore. You can, and deserve, to be loved.

This is an important aspect of mindset building.

I think you should think carefully about how you relate to other people, what exactly are you afraid of. If you really want to change the situation, you can try to get close to your circle of friends and keep in touch with them. Sometimes it's a lot easier to take that step.

This is because people will be very worried when they encounter this kind of relationship, and they will have a lot of concerns, so what they are most afraid of is this sudden concern and tears.

Because the sudden concern of others will flatter you, and this feeling will move you.

Mainly because I am afraid that I will become very weak and vulnerable.

There are long and short lifes, maybe your life is wonderful, or it is unremarkable, you must have lived a sense of loneliness. When we are lonely, we wish someone would come and greet us. But slowly, we will find that we prefer others to be indifferent to us, because sudden concern can make us very scared.

Why is this so? In fact, there are many reasons, and I will share them with you.

1.Suddenly caring about yourself, either something is going on or something

A long time ago, I had a high school classmate with whom I hadn't spoken much for three years. It wasn't until after graduating from university that I went to Shanghai on a business trip, I didn't expect that my classmate would take the initiative to invite me to dinner. At that time, I didn't think too much about it, so I borrowed him a thousand yuan.

I haven't seen him since. At that time, I understood that generally people who suddenly care about themselves have something to do with themselves, as the saying goes, nothing to be courteous, either treachery or theft.

2.I've been single for a long time, I got it, and I'm afraid of losing

In fact, if a person has been single for a long time, he will be afraid of sudden concern, afraid of the good of others, and the contribution of others without being able to repay himself. Although I know that I don't need a reason to love someone, I don't need a reason to wait for someone. However, I'm afraid that this reason for not coming makes me accidentally hurt you, pretending to be very strong, as if I don't care about anything, and I seem to be ignoring your goodness.

In fact, I'm just afraid, your love is too heavy, I can't bear it, pressure myself not to be greedy for these concerns, these warmth and make my brain feverish, obviously I want to be impulsive once, hypocritical once, but I'm afraid that you will have a misunderstanding. After all, I can't afford to lose your youth. It's a pity that if it's not the right person, the greed will be lost after all.

The most beautiful thing is to be happy with each other, put each other in your heart, care, and love. I believe in love, but I don't believe I can be so lucky to have it.

All in all, people, I'd rather be alone and lonely when there is something, and I'd rather someone ignore you than someone who suddenly cares about you, and sudden concern will make you very miserable.

It's probably the saying goes, "If you have nothing to do, you won't go to the Three Treasures Palace". In modern society, ordinary feelings between people should be at a distance of distance and degree. Inexplicable concern, I'm afraid it's a burden that is not easy to refuse, and if you were a person with a better relationship from the beginning, you wouldn't have this feeling.

You have low self-esteem and no confidence in yourself, as if you feel that people who are good to you will leave you, you don't fully accept yourself, learn to communicate with others more, in fact, there are still many people who are good to you.

If you owe too much affection to others, you are afraid that you will not be able to repay it, and you are also afraid that you will live up to the kindness and help of others, so you would rather live alone.

Because some people may have been hurt before, they are especially vigilant and feel that the sudden concern of others is a kind of harm to themselves.

Such people are more suspicious, and always feel that others have some purpose for being good to them, which has a lot to do with their character.

I have to say that this is a kind of defensive psychology. I am always afraid that my own efforts will not be able to return the relative return. So reluctant to come into contact with people.

This kind of person should be very withdrawn psychologically, afraid that others will have bad intentions for what they care about, or have other purposes.

Why would you rather be cold to yourself and burst into tears in the face of sudden concern?

In fact, this kind of pretended self-consolation collapses, and many times, people's hearts are silent. For example: one day, at work, I was criticized by my boss, and when I walked out of the office, I found that my colleague had a gloating expression and no one to comfort me, I may feel bitter in my heart, only I understand, and I feel that I am a failure!

I think so, I once had such an experience, when I first entered the workplace, I was a little white, often my work results were stolen, and I was promoted and raised, which was someone else's business, but the mistake was my own back, and I felt very wronged, however, the girl I was not familiar with sat next to me and said to me gently, I was just entering the workplace, so don't be sad.

We are working alone, a hug from a stranger, or an encouraging look, a simple meal will make us warm!

This kind of person is generally very emotional and is afraid that others will be good to him, because he is afraid that he will not be sorry for the good of others.

The education of the original family cannot easily show their vulnerability, so they arm themselves with indifference and indifference, and they are actually a gentle person at heart.

This is because you feel that you would rather others feel cold to you, but in fact, in your heart, you want to be cared for by others, so when others come to care about you, you will be very surprised and moved.