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My point of view, to look at this problem rationally and objectively, after all, the distance is too far, a few months of baby can not withstand the bumps, if you do not go back, relatives will understand.
If you don't go back, your husband will definitely go back, and your husband can send the old man on his last journey on your behalf.
When the old man is alive, as a child, he must be filial piety, when he dies, the dead are gone, and those funerals and ceremonies are not for others to see.
If you are afraid of small children, considering that the road is too far, you can tell your mother-in-law about this situation, I believe that your mother-in-law will understand you, and will also make a reasonable explanation to relatives and friends.
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I'm definitely going home, this is my dearest person. In addition to parents, grandparents are their closest relatives. They have definitely taken care of you since childhood, so be sure not to let yourself regret it.
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It's up to you, if you don't want to go back, no one will tie you back. But I suggest you go back, life and death. Go see her off, after all, it's the last ride.
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Grandma is your immediate family, if grandma dies, as a grandchild, you must go home to send grandma on the last journey, which is in line with the filial piety of our Chinese nation.
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The advice given is to go back, the old man has passed away, and he will never see him again, go back and bow down to talk about filial piety, don't leave regrets, and mourn.
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Of course, you have to go home for the funeral, because that's your father's mother. Unless there are very special circumstances, you cannot go home.
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Is grandma going home when she dies, and grandma should go home when she dies, and she should go home to send grandma on her last journey to express her filial piety.
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It's hard to tell, but folklore says that the soul returns!
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Gotta go back. Because grandma and granddaughter are direct blood relatives, of course they have to go back to see off the last journey and make a final farewell. Even if it's grooming, you can take another look. In China, filial piety is the greatest, and the dead are the greatest.
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In the first seven days after the death of the old man in the countryside, the rural people called him the date of "Huisha". In the rural funeral culture, the deceased relative, in the first seven days, because he will still be nostalgic for the world, still miss his relatives, still miss his home, and even have a lot of things he has not done in his life, relatives who have not seen it, etc., in another world, the king of Hades allows him to walk around the world every "seven days", and is only allowed to return to the world for a total of seven seven days, a total of forty-nine days. Once the quarrel has passed these seven hundred and forty-nine days, there is no chance to return to the world.
Therefore, this custom, which has been passed down from ancient times to the present day, is still in people's memories in the countryside, and has formed an ancient funeral custom.
Therefore, if an elderly person in a rural family has passed away, no matter how busy he is at work, he must let go of everything, spend the first seven days at home, and wait for the old man to "recover" before leaving his home. During these first seven days, the old man must return to his home and visit all his relatives. Therefore, on this day, all the relatives in the family must live quietly in their own homes, waiting for the night when the old man returns to his home from the underworld, sees the relatives he wants to visit, and reluctantly bids farewell to his relatives.
If he doesn't see the relatives he wants to see, he will be very sad and cry.
So, how do the people in the family know that the old man is coming home? In ancient times, there was a way to know whether the old man had returned to the shut, on the passage inside and outside the big threshold of the home, sprinkled with a layer of plant ash, when the old man returned to the scar, he had to pass through the inside and outside of the big threshold, and he would inevitably step on his footprints, and know that after he died, what type of fetus the king of Hades wanted him to take off, he could be distinguished from the footprints.
Why do you sprinkle plant ash inside and outside the threshold of your home at night when it is more quiet? Because, when there is no deeper quiet, everyone is still active, and the entrance and exit gates are all stepped on the footprints, and it is impossible to tell whether the old man has returned home. In addition, after the death of the elderly, in another world, it is usually only possible to quietly return home in the deeper silence of the night.
This is the reason why on the seventh night after the death of the old man, he sprinkled plant ash inside and outside the large threshold of the house.
If the old man who has passed away is not good enough in his life, and the king of Hades condemns him, he will become an animal, and he will leave the footprints of this animal on the ashes of the plants. If the deceased old man did a lot of good deeds in his life, after his death, the king of Hades will let him get rid of the human womb again, which means that the old man's merits are complete.
In addition, after the death of the old man in the family, Hades has to let him return to the world every seven days to have a look. Therefore, there are seven of them in each "seven days", and they must go to the grave to pay respects, and the old man will inevitably wait here to see his relatives.
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If my husband's grandmother dies, do my mother's family want to go, and what do they need to do?
My husband's grandmother passed away, and as the granddaughter-in-law's mother's family, here in our rural area, we need to be notified and go to the funeral.
According to our customs here, on this day, you should wear heavy filial piety to your mother's house (wear heavy filial piety to go home to report the funeral, because you wear filial piety clothes, you can't enter other homes), kowtow to your parents to explain the situation, and then you have to leave immediately.
After the parents receive the filial piety, they should pass the morning of the burial day. One is the sacrifice, which is for everyone, and after the funeral, if there is a surplus, everyone will participate in the distribution. Another is to hang filial piety, and the money for hanging filial piety is for her daughter, and it cannot be used for funerals and everyone to distribute.
If there are still siblings in the family, they will be notified by their parents, and they will only hang filial piety and not worship sacrifices. Those who sacrifice will give filial piety hats and clothes, and those who sacrifice will change the rotten gilli cloth.
Relatives who do not go to the sacrifice and only hang filial piety, if there is something to do with the filial piety money, they can go home directly. Other people, when they go out at noon, they can send a ride to the ground, which is our custom here, I don't know if it's the same as yours there, say it orange annihilation, for reference only.
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It doesn't matter if your mother's family goes or not, the main thing is that you have to go.
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Generally speaking, as long as it is not too far, the mother's family is going to go.
You are a filial son and grandson, and your family is in-law.
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In ancient times, after a person died, as a descendant, he needed to keep filial piety for three years, which was a custom in ancient times and a form in ancient timesWell, there is basically no such way now。And when grandma died, we can't go back to mourn, whether this is a kind of unfilial piety, in fact, I don't think this can be compared with unfilial piety.
Filial piety, filial piety comes first, filial piety should be filial piety in life, not crying after death. I remember very clearly that my grandmother once told me that we went to worship the mountain and visit the tomb during the Qingming Festival. He told me if there was anything to eat, and if you got it, get me some first.
Because my grandmother said, "You don't give food to the living, why do you feed the dead?" What's the use of dying?
So from this sentence, I can know that filial piety is actually when he is alive, you can care more about him and accompany him a little more, in that case, I think it is the greatest filial piety.
And in our lives, sometimes the death of grandma is really sudden, and it is reasonable that we can't go back in time. Because the people who died now are basically cremated and stagnant for three days, and in some places they will be dragged to the funeral home after the death is announced, if they are working in a distant place, or abroad, then there is no way to rush back on the same day, so this is not to say that it is not filial, but it is forced by reality, and there is no way to come back in time.
In the end, as long as you can be kind to your grandmother in front of her, then I don't think your family will blame you even if you don't come back to mourn. After all, we all know in our hearts that only when we are alive can everything be meaningful and become valuable, when a person dies, no matter how sad you cry, no matter how much paper money you burn for him, no matter how much funeral goods you buy for him, these can only seek self-comfort, that is, a self-righteousness, and can not give your deceased much benefit, so there is no need to be extravagant and wasteful.
It means that you don't have to worry about life anymore, your body is healthy, and you will live a long life. People who plan to go out dream that their living grandmother has passed away, and it is recommended to reschedule the departure and postpone the trip. A pregnant person dreams that her living grandmother has died, which indicates the birth of a boy and Xia Zhan's birth of a girl. >>>More
The tree wants to be quiet but the wind does not stop, and the child wants to raise but the parent is not there. Pity. It is recommended that you go to nursing homes more, contact the lonely old people more, chat with them more, care more about them, and transfer your gratitude to your grandmother, it is estimated that you see the elderly happy, and your own mood is much calmer.
Of course, grandpa should go home when he dies, grandpa is an immediate family, if there is nothing special, he should ask for leave to go home and send grandpa on his last journey, this is human nature, and it is not right not to go back.
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You have never been to the grave, it is recommended that in the future, during the New Year, Qingming, their birthdays, and around July 15, burn some paper money and ingots for the two old people.