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Communicate well with the elderly, there are a lot of bad things for children in such behavior, for example, parents are actually educating children how to behave, if the old people always stop like this, then parents may not be able to educate children well, and in this case, the education that children get is imperfect, and an imperfect education of course has no way to educate very perfect children, Therefore, the elderly should reflect on whether what they are doing is really right.
After being obstructed in this way, parents can discuss with their parents and tell their parents that if they are used to children like this, children may encounter many problems in the future. And let their parents know that if the child develops an arrogant character, then the child will definitely encounter all kinds of troubles, and there is no way to solve it, consider the troubles encountered in the future, it is better to develop a better character for the child at this time.
In reality, many parents, under the banner of "all for the good of their children", often nag and accuse their children, and seriously yell and even beat and scold. This wrong way of education not only fails to achieve the desired results of education, but children are also prone to become more rebellious. If this is the case, it is normal for the elders to protect them.
The right way is for children to have more questions, communicate more, listen more, and guide more. The key to giving children the opportunity to make mistakes is that after the fact, the child can deeply reflect and truly grow.
When it comes to educating children, there is no compromise on matters of principle. Although this is too iron-faced and selfless, you must establish your own majesty in the child's heart and let him understand not to violate the bottom line. Some parents complain that whenever they are educating their children, the elderly will always come out to interfere.
Enlightenment Education wants to say that even if the elderly intervene, they must be brave enough to insist on their own views. Don't interrupt normal education just because the other party is an old man, which can only make the child feel that no matter what mistakes he makes, he has a backer.
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In this case, we should communicate with the elderly, and tell the elderly that blindly protecting the children is not really good for the children, and it is best to work with the elderly to develop a unified management and education method for children.
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Communicate more with the elderly, you tell them some ways to educate children, and develop some good habits from an early age, which will have a certain impact and effect on the physical and mental development in the future.
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Be sure to communicate with the elderly, telling the elderly that it is not right to do this, and it is easy to cause children to not have a good three views.
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It shows that the child has been in contact with the grandparents for too long, and at this time the child should be taken to his own home, and the child will listen to himself after getting along with the child for a long time.
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You can take the child over and raise it yourself, because if the grandparents raise it, the child will not be close to you, which is not good for future growth.
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This is because parents do not have a sense of majesty in the minds of their children, nor do they have a sense of existence, so parents should accompany their children more and occupy a certain position in their children's minds.
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Then you need to take your children with you, understand them from the bits and pieces of life, and communicate effectively with them before you start educating them.
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It may be that the contact time with grandparents is long, and parents should also spend more time to understand and care for their children.
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Be kind to your child so that he will be willing to be close to you and will be willing to listen to you.
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When educating children, the elderly in the family always protect them, which will cause the children to disobey the education. Since this situation exists in the family, in the future, the children should be taught to avoid the elderly, call the children to the room alone, and educate patiently.
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Hello, you can communicate with the elderly first, tell the other party about the harm of doing this, and then when educating the children, the elderly can be separated, and it can be carried out in the study.
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Do not leave your child with the elderly. Because the love of the next generation will spoil the child, and it will be difficult to correct the bad habits after they are formed.
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When the child is sleeping, you should have a very clear communication with the other party, hoping that the other party will not interfere with your own education style, because this will not protect the child, but harm the child.
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As a parent of a child, you should always communicate with your child's grandparents, hoping that the other party will not interfere with your education, otherwise it will harm your child.
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You should have a good talk with the old man in private, and tell the old man that if you continue to spoil the child, the child's future will be ruined, so for the sake of the child's good development, I hope the old man must control his emotions at this time.
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I think the best thing to do is to make it clear to the old man what is at stake, so that the old man will not stop you from educating your children.
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I think the best thing to do is to move out, so that when it comes to educating children, the elderly will not be able to take care of it.
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A friend asked this question on a knowledge platform:
Children brought up by the elderly often have a certain sense of distance from their parents, because there is a generation gap between the elderly and their parents, including thoughts and behaviors and speech and behavior, the concept of the old man's generation may indeed be a little old-fashioned, but the starting point is good, all for the sake of loving children.
Why don't the children brought up by the elderly go with their parents in the first place? Because children are emotionally connected, especially before the age of three, whoever takes the child will definitely be close to whoever grows up. Since parents miss the growth stage of children when they are young, then do not think about teaching children first, but think about adding some parent-child interaction with children and establishing a good parent-child relationship with children.
In the face of such a problem, parents should not be in a hurry, the more hasty the child will be away from him, because the child feels uncomfortable and annoying, and will avoid it. So don't be in a hurry to deal with the problem, in fact, the problem is not in the "problem itself", or at a deeper level, if you deal with a problem, there will be more problems.
In fact, the reason for such a problem is that parents have entered the ideological misunderstanding from the beginning:
So for various reasons and excuses, the family has no money, has to go out to work, has to support the family, runs around all day long on the way to make money, neglects to take care of and accompany the children, and feels that giving the children money is the best companionship.
In fact, children are not only material needs, but also spiritual needs and dependence, especially between the ages of 1 and 6, if the child often does not see his parents, it is not conducive to the formation of his character and the establishment of personality relationships.
He is missing in terms of the high-quality companionship of his parents, and he will make up for it in other ways, if the older generation only cares about him eating, drinking, and Lazar, and does not pay attention to the child's spiritual world, then the child will live as a "hollow person", without feelings and emotions, but living a very wooden life.
So don't rush to deal with things first, but deal with the relationship first, a good parent-child relationship is the beginning of education.
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There are many elderly people who often have some abnormal behaviors when they are older, so just like our parents took care of us when we were young, even if we are no longer sensible, they will take good care of us, so we must learn to be grateful, take good care of our parents, be patient, and never lose our temper with them.
Ways to care for the elderly.
1.Common sense in caring for parents is just as important as common sense in parenting.
First of all, it is necessary to understand the various influences that elderly parents may face: are they losing their purpose because of retirement? Are you worried about the deterioration of your physical condition?
Are you having financial difficulties? Do you feel lost when your child isn't around? If a parent in the family loses their significant other, how does he or she spend his or her thoughts and sorrows?
Will he take care of his own life? What does he think about death? These are all topics that children need to understand positively.
Learn the knowledge of caring for the elderly, such as the physical and mental changes of the elderly, medical care, emotional needs, living conditions, etc., so as to be close to the immediate needs of parents. As children, they need to be mentally prepared, both fast and slow, and cannot ignore the fact that their physical and mental condition is declining.
2.Deal with changes in the parent-child relationship seriously.
In real life, it can sometimes be difficult to adjust to the relationship with Yanpei's elderly parents. Due to the influence of the experiences with them in the past few years, parents still refuse to let go of their dignity and want to maintain a competent image. But in fact, as they get older, they feel that "the present is not like the past".
It is not easy to maintain this dignity. Therefore, as children, we should carefully deal with the changes in this relationship, observe their physical and mental changes, and judge carefully in order to provide the necessary help in a timely manner. Some parents are more hard-mouthed", they do not acknowledge their age and inconveniences, so they should explain it more subtly so that they can accept it.
They should not lose their dignity because of impatience. Of course, they shouldn't give up care because of resistance.
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It is normal for children to be disobedient, especially for children in the rebellious period, no matter what parents say, their first reaction is to do it, but similar things are really a headache for parents, so children are always disobedient, how should parents solve it? I think parents should first find out the reasons for their children's disobedience, and then go to solve them one by one. The most important thing is to be patient and communicate with your child in a timely manner.
1. Rebellious period.
Children who are in the rebellious period are no longer disobedient, and this time is a special stage for children. Some parents only know blind discipline at this stage, which will cause the child's disgust, in fact, as long as the child does not make any big mistakes, parents do not need to say too much. For example, if the child just wants to play with his friends for a while and does not affect his usual learning, there is no need for parents to care too much.
2. Patience. Parents must be patient when disciplining their children, sometimes there are reasons why children are disobedient, for example, children make mistakes in school, parents can not scold their children, we still have to listen to why children make mistakes, so that children also have a better understanding of this mistake, and can avoid making mistakes in the future. If the child does not like to do homework, we can establish a reward and punishment system for the child, if he can complete the homework on time, you can give a reward, if you can't complete it, you can give a certain punishment.
Rewards and punishments can also be brought up by the child himself, and the effect will be better.
3. Communicate from the child's point of view.
Some parents always feel that they are superior, and their children should obey their own words unconditionally, which is not the relationship between parents and children, but the relationship between superiors and subordinates, so in this matter the parents themselves are mistaken. Communicate with your child from your child's point of view and understand what he really thinks, so that he will be more receptive to your suggestions. If you blindly order and force the child, not only will you not get good results, but it will hurt the child's heart.
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Clause. 1. Communicate more with children, understand their problems, and solve them in a timely manner;
Second, we should give children the opportunity to show themselves and satisfy their vanity.
Third, we should look at children with an appreciative eye, praise and encourage them more, so that they have a certain sense of achievement, do not scold, scold and complain, but praise and encourage them more.
Fourth, it is necessary to avoid hurting their self-esteem, and not to criticize and blame them with serious language, and to carry out verbal attacks.
Fifth, take care of your children and spend more time with them.
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Think about it, is it every time your child wants to say something to you? You all choose to refuse, choose to ignore, so after the child will always rebel, what the parent says he never wants to hear, can't hear, even if you listen to the left ear, the right ear out of the right ear is not our own mistake? The answer is the same, so children are always disobedient, and we need to reflect on how we should get along with young children in our future lives.
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If the child is disobedient, then you must change your attitude, keep calm when communicating with the child, and also pay attention to your tone, do not use the tone of command to chat with the child, but also understand the child, respect the child, encourage the child, guide the child, but also give the child a certain reward, so that the child will listen to the parents.
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Parents should guide their children with a pleasant face, don't face it strongly, although the child is disobedient, it is a sign of innocence, when the child is young, it is often like this, parents must be patient, and gradually guide, the child will become more and more well-behaved.
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I believe that if you want your child to be obedient, then parents should put their child's feelings first, rather than blindly asking them what they should and should not do.
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Parents must treat their children coldly when they are unreasonable, and when the child's emotions are stable, parents will reason with their children.
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Parents must learn to tolerate their children, sit down and listen to their children's ideas, understand their children, and then educate.
When educating children, grandparents must write if they jump out. Agree with them on the surface and let them speak. Try not to get into conflict with your grandparents. >>>More
If you don't pay attention to learning, why do parents have such a conclusion? Is it because of grades? Or is it because of the state of the child? Or is it because we ourselves are in too much of a hurry? You might as well calm down and ask yourself first, find the actual problem that your child is facing, and then you can really solve the problem.
I'm in a similar situation to you, except that my parents-in-law never talk about me to my children's face, even though they still go their own way. My method is not to criticize the child in front of my parents-in-law, only when I am with the child will I reason with him, and if I want to instill it little by little, he can still listen. >>>More
When the mother educates the child, the father should keep the same front as the mother, so that the child will feel that what he has done wrong is wrong, and there is no one in the family who can be trusted by him, and there is no one who can help him at this time, so that he will really realize the mistakes he has made, and will not make the same wrong decision when he encounters the same situation in the future. This is an issue about education, and it is also an issue that parents need to pay more attention to in the future.
Think about how you want others to treat you if they are you.