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I often hear people sigh in the workplace: "It's so difficult to get along with xx!" "Someone who complains like this, I guess there's something wrong with the way he makes friends.
Maybe he wants everyone to be his confidant, or he has some kind of purpose to gain benefits, so he interacts with others, tries in every possible way to please them, panders to them, and hopes to make everyone like him and help him succeed. However, he unknowingly lost himself, and as time went by, there would be fewer and fewer friends around him. Think about it, who would take advantage of the person who uses them as a confidant?
And it's not possible for you to please everybody or make everybody happy with you. Therefore, instead of trying to please others, it is better to please yourself.
Pleasing yourself is not something that everyone can do, but it's also not unattainable. In any case, pleasing yourself is a good medicine for mental adjustment, and it will make you happier, more fulfilling, and more confident in a boring career.
None of us lives in a vacuum, academic and career setbacks, interpersonal relationships.
troubles, trivial things in life, and health troubles ......You'll have one or two things on your shoulders, and these influences and pressures from the outside world are not a small blow to us. If we can't learn to please ourselves and develop a cheerful, confident, and optimistic state of mind to face reality, we don't know when we will be crushed by these influences and pressures.
Pleasing oneself is not blindly and unscrupulously touting oneself, and doing so will only make "pleasing oneself" a mental narcotic.
even to hold themselves back; There are also many ways to please yourself, and they vary from person to person. In general, to please yourself, you can set up a "soundproof wall" for yourself in the face of gossip; When you are lonely and lonely, you can find ways to make yourself happy; You can take a big meal or shout a few times to vent when you are sulking; When a friend leaves him, he can do everything he can to keep the friendship or simply find a new friend. After suffering a setback, you can cheer yourself up and "order" yourself not to shed another tear; When you first arrive in a new environment and "have no relatives", you can find a mirror and smile at yourself, comfort yourself, and say, "At least there is a smiling face that I am familiar with."
In short, there are too many ways to please yourself, and after reading my introduction, I believe your mood has suddenly opened up!
Learn to please yourself, believe that lonely people can have true confidants, silent and autistic people can bravely walk in the eyes of others, and people who want to become "friends of the public" can also understand the truth of "haste is not enough" and the true meaning of friendship ......
May everyone in the world learn to please themselves and have a cheerful, enthusiastic, confident and optimistic state of mind.
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If it's a peer, take the initiative to talk to her, give her gifts, ask her out to play, understand what she likes, and then talk about what to give, if it's an elder, you have to be flattering, you can talk about some things that happened when the elders were children, and the elders like to talk about the past. Then it is to send more healthy things to the elders, including food, use, etc. If it's an older brother or sister, then send some flowers or something, if it's a child, then send some play, candy or something, and then praise the child for being smart, cute, sensible, and sure to please the children.
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Pleasing others, it is a bad thing, but on some occasions, pleasing others will bring twice the result with half the effort to their own success, in learning, there are many problems that need to be solved by classmates, but too much annoyance to others, he will be unwilling, at this time you need to please him, say some sorry words, hand over a bottle of water at the right time, or give a piece of chocolate, in short, let others feel that you are not using him for free, there will be a subconscious in his heart, I hurry up to let him understand, So the problem is solved, it's over, in order to express gratitude, invite him to a meal, send a small gift, express gratitude!
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By pleasing others, to obtain benefits or recognition from others, this can be temporary, but not long-lasting. So it's better to make yourself stronger, you have value, and you will naturally be noticed and reused.
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It's not uncommon to hear people say this in the workplace. There are people who complain like this. I guess there's something wrong with the way he's making friends.
Maybe he wanted everyone to be his confidants. Or maybe it's something. The goal of obtaining benefits.
That's why I associate with others and do everything possible to please them and cater to them. I hope to be able to make everyone like to wish him success, but he unconsciously lost himself, and the days have passed, friends around him. There are fewer and fewer flowers.
Imagine that the statute of limitations would regard the people who use him as confidants. And tea. You don't?
You can also. Good morning to everyone. Or to make everyone satisfied, so you don't work hard to please, others don't please themselves, please yourself, not everyone can do it.
But it's not Gao Peng either. Not great. But it's not.
Unattainable. Q: How to say? Self is psychological adjustment, a good medicine.
It will make you more happy and fulfilled in your career.
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I think the most direct and easiest way is to do what they like, you need to know what the other person likes, what they like to do, and even what they eat, what they use, and so on.
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Pleasing others is actually a relatively easy thing, as long as you can know how to say good things to others, so that others can know that you like each other, that's fine, so that you can show and please others.
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Be sincere to him, such as observing what he needs and giving him something, and helping him in time if he is in trouble.
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Observe other people's preferences. He buys her whatever he likes. Whatever she wants, she gives him whatever she wants. If he needs help in time, he is to please others.
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Pleasing others is a technical job, people with low emotional intelligence are better not to do it, maybe it backfires, insist on yourself, and interact with people with a normal heart, which is the best social interaction.
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You can find the good in others from the trivialities of life, so that if you inadvertently praise the good in others, the other person's heart will feel very warm.
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It's okay not to get old to please others, everyone in life will have a tendency to please people more or less in their personality. And once they develop a "people-pleasing personality", they will exaggerate the evaluation of others and be cautious about their own behavior.
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Instead of pleasing others, it is better to invest in yourself. Make yourself better, live your own life, if you are in full bloom, the breeze will come.
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First of all, you have to be yourself, make yourself good, and others will respect you.
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Learn more about his hobbies and do what he loves.
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When you get along with your friends, the most comfortable way is that you don't need to please each other, and this is a long-term relationship.
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You don't have to try to please others, just be yourself.
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Why do you have such a mentality? You should be yourself, don't care about others, and there is no need to please others.
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Why please others? I'll just say I'm a different fireworks, be yourself and don't try to please anyone.
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It's so funny, please people. Money.
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1.This phenomenon is likely to be as follows: 2The first is that the pump has not been used for a long time, and the inside of the pump head is rusty, and the water page is stuck, which causes it to not start after powering on, and can only buzz.
3.The second is that the starting capacitance of the water pump is attenuated very badly and cannot achieve the effect of starting. 4.
The first reason is to find a way to get rid of the rust inside and it can rotate normally.
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Who do you want to please. Is the other party a man or a woman?
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People who always please others are most likely to have these kinds of ideas.
People who always please others are most likely to have these kinds of ideas.
01 The idea of "stammering with others" is to be able to get help from powerful people.
Why please othersIt is often when they encounter something profitable that they will curry favor with others, or even unscrupulously obtain benefits.
Originally, there was no hierarchy between people, but because of the difference in the amount of money and the level of status, the level of people was invisibly opened. The poor are low-level people, and the rich are high-level people; People with status are high-level people, and ordinary citizens are low-level people. Although no one prescribes such a level, many people acquiesce to such a level in their hearts.
Zengguang Xianwen wrote: "No one asks about the poor in the downtown area, but the rich have distant relatives in the mountains." If you don't believe it, look at the wine in the cup, and pay tribute to the rich first. ”
At the banquet, the rich and powerful are often arranged to be seated. Some people who like to please others take the initiative to toast the rich and powerful. Also, many people like to associate with rich and powerful relatives and ignore their poor relatives.
A person who always pleases others, perhaps wants to curry favor with others, wants to take advantage of others, regardless of whether others look up to him or not, he always stubbornly believes that if he pleases others, he will have a deep impression of each other, so that he can ask for help in the future.
02 The idea of "left and right" should be discussed with everyone around you as much as possible.
Between people, when there is no conflict of interest, they always want to offend no one and not to cause trouble.
It is not easy for people to mix in society, but in fact, to survive in the cracks of society. If the people around you are very friendly to you, then the living space will be bigger and better.
When a person wants to be left and right, he will try to please others. It doesn't matter if the other party is a beggar or a rich man, treat them well. Beggars also have the potential to become rich, and they cannot be offended, and the rich man himself is a person with useful value, and he cannot be offended.
As the saying goes: "Thirty years in the east of the river, thirty years in the west of the river." "Who can say what will happen in the future? To be kind to others is to leave a way out for yourself, and there is certainly nothing wrong with it.
People who always please others are most likely to have these kinds of ideas.
03 The idea of "afraid of offending people", I would rather be wronged than offend others.
Someone said, "Don't be afraid of offending people, some people, it doesn't matter if you offend." ”
That's what you say, but it's not a good thing to really offend others, at least if you have a grudge with others, you will be retaliated by others.
Let's say your neighbor is very strong and tall. When the neighbor goes out, he huddles with you, and you will most likely take the initiative to give way, and there will be no argument because of this. Comity is a virtue and, on the other hand, a pleasing man.
Buddhism has a saying: "Grievances should be resolved rather than settled." "It is also a good thing to please some irrelevant people, although it loses face, but avoids unnecessary disputes. To be a man, there is no grudge against people everywhere, so that you can live with peace of mind.
04 "scheming" thoughts, while pleasing people.
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Why do you always try to please people?
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1. Prepare some universal rhetoric.
In the face of other people's requests, it may be difficult for you to reject them directly in person, so you can reply to them first with some generalist words, and wait until you are mentally prepared for them repeatedly, and then send a rejection message to the other person.
Common panacea sayings are:
I have something to do now, I'll get back to you later. ”
I'll get back to you later. ”
I'll think about it and wait for you next time. ”
To a certain extent, these all-purpose words can help you win over the psychological preparation to reject others.
2. Don't explain too much for your rejection.
If you explain a lot about your rejection, you often put yourself in a dilemma.
For example, "Can you help me deliver a document?" ”
I'm really sorry, I'm still in a hurry to make an appointment with a friend, and it should be too late to ...... time”
In the face of so many explanations from you, the other party is likely to think that you are willing, so they will say:
It won't delay your business, it will only take a few minutes to complete. ”
At this point, you will be very embarrassed, so you don't need to say too much about the reasons when rejecting others.
3. Remind yourself repeatedly.
You can stick a sentence around yourself that you don't want to please others, or you can write in a concise sentence that you have repeatedly reminded yourself of things that did not end well because of pleasing others.
This will effectively prevent you from continuing to please others.
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Stopping pleasing others requires building self-confidence and self-esteem, while learning to say no to other people's requests. Here are some specific ways to do it:
Build self-awareness: Recognize that you don't need to be recognized by others to prove your worth, recognize your needs and strengths, and build self-confidence and self-esteem.
Learn to say "no": When someone asks you, if you don't have enough time or interest, learn to decline and give reasons or suggestions. At the same time, it is important to know that rejecting others is not the same as hurting them, but rather maintaining a good relationship while protecting yourself.
Independent thinking and decision-making: Independent thinking and decision-making allows you to better understand your own needs and values and better meet your own needs instead of catering to other people's expectations.
Be careful with your language and thinking: Stopping to please others requires avoiding attaching your thoughts and feelings to others, while also being mindful of adjusting your language and thinking, and avoiding using language that disparages you or gives others an advantage.
The above methods require continuous practice and persistence, and it takes time and patience. Through these efforts, you can gradually reduce the habit of pleasing others, build self-confidence and self-esteem, and achieve a healthier and more balanced life.
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