What is the Art of Listening? Listening is an art

I often see some comments on people on the Internet, saying that someone is very good at talking, and being able to talk means having high emotional intelligence. There is a lot of truth to this, but we often ignore the existence of listening, just like the innocuous thing.

Since ancient times, there has been a sequence of listening and speaking, and people will listen first and speak later. It's just that when we grow up, gradually, some people only focus on words and neglect to listen.

If talking is an art, then listening is an art within an art. Listening is not easy, listening requires a calm heart, a constant patience and an open heart to let go of oneself.

Listening is a rare cultivation. If it is natural to tell others, then listening to what others have to say and think is a kind of cultivation. A true wise man is a good listener, and in order to make his tree of wisdom evergreen, he often listens to voices from elsewhere in his thoughts.

Listening is a kind of respect for others, and it is a complete characteristic of thinking from the other person's point of view with compassion and understanding. Listening is also the most effective way to maintain relationships and maintain friendships. Listening is like a sponge, learning from the experience and lessons of others, so that you can avoid detours on the road of life.

Listening is a kind of benevolence to yourself. Everyone has another self living in their hearts, it may be pessimistic and painful, or it may be happy and happy, listen to your inner voice, in order to find your true self.

Sometimes life really needs us to listen with our hearts, listen to the sound of flowers blooming and falling, and appreciate the quiet beauty of nature; Listen to the melody of spring, summer, autumn and winter, and feel the passage of time.

The meaning of life lies in listening to your inner voice and being your best self. With a calm heart, a peaceful mind, and listening to all kinds of voices, such a life will be more gorgeous and exciting!

A couple quarreled, and the wife said, "I can't take it anymore, I'm leaving this house!" As he spoke, he picked up the box and walked out the door. ”

The husband was stunned for a moment, but he heard his wife's missing sound, and immediately said, "Wait for me, I can't stand it anymore, take me!" The wife, who was originally angry, couldn't help but laugh when she heard her husband's words.

In this case, the husband understands his wife's feelings and chooses a humorous response instead of arguing and investigating the root cause, so that his wife's anger turns into laughter.

Alan Garner says in The Power of Conversation: "Active listening is a great way to respond, both to encourage the other person to continue and to make sure you understand what the other person is saying. ”

Active listening makes the other person feel your attention, active listening makes communication smoother, active listening makes the other party more interested in you, and active listening avoids the embarrassment of answering the wrong question.

There are many benefits to active listening, but there are a few things to be aware of.

1. Understand the true meaning of other people's words, rather than repeating them.

During the conversation, two-way communication is the only way to achieve a good conversation, and if one party parrots the repetition, the other party will soon stop the conversation. This way of talking is too boring, unresponsive, and does not arouse the interest of the interlocutor.

2. Ignore or belittle the other person's feelings.

Although it is the art of listening, it is actually the art of speaking, and in the process of listening, it is necessary to listen and speak. If you don't understand what the other person is trying to say, you will be unhappy with the interlocutor and you will not be able to continue the conversation. Only by listening attentively can you understand each other, speak to each other's hearts, and win the trust of each other.

3. "Pour or listen" non-verbal to correctly understand other people's thoughts.

Most people will have a little micro-expression or body movement when they speak. In the process of communication, it is necessary to interpret these non-verbal aspects to confirm to the other party whether their understanding is correct, so that communication is effective. For example:

Although you just agreed with me, you frowned, is there something wrong? "yes, I think we can do a better job in typography, and we can improve from here.

Sometimes non-verbal can give us the illusion that we are, so it's important to confirm our judgment to the other person, especially someone you care about. For example: "Fei Fei, I recently asked you out to dinner or watch a movie, and you rejected me, did I do something to make you unhappy?"

No, I've been busy with exams lately, so I don't have time to do a lot of things. ”

Voltaire said, "The ear is the way to the heart." ”

Active listening opens up the unknown world for us, and if you want to understand the good minds of others, you start with active listening.

The greatest art and skill of listening is to listen with your heart.

Only by truly listening attentively can we grasp the main point of what the confidant is saying.

In the process of listening, you must be careful not to express your opinions too much, remain silent, and nod or smile appropriately to respond effectively.

In this way, you can maintain a certain amount of respect for the person who confides, and make the confiding more detailed and prominent.

This kind of listening is more artistic and skillful.

In life, we often encounter such a problem, when others have not finished speaking, or do not understand the meaning of what others say, they impose their own meaning on others, thus leading the chain to detect a lot of misunderstandings.

A moderator asked a little boy what he wanted to be when he grew up. The little boy said: I want to be an airplane pilot when I grow up.

The host asked: What if one day your plane flew over the Pacific Ocean and all the engines went out? The little boy said

I'd get everyone on the plane to buckle up, and then I hung up my parachute and jumped out. At this time, everyone present was struggling with laughter. The host didn't answer and continued to look at the boy, but unexpectedly, the boy's tears welled up in his eyes, so he asked him why he did this?

The little boy's answer revealed the child's sincere thoughts: I'm going to get fuel, and I'm going to come back!

This is the "art of listening".

First, don't listen to half of what you are told to do.

The second is not to project your own meaning onto what the other people say.

Learn to listen, listen with your heart, listen with your heart.

Listening is an art that is mainly embodied in respecting the personality of the other person.

When people speak, look into each other's eyes, and listen carefully, they will make the other person feel that they are respecting themselves. If you seem to be listening, looking left and right, and looking away, you can make the speaker feel that he or she is being left out and not being treated with the respect he deserves.