Why do some people say that you don t go to the grave twice a month ?

This custom exists in our country, but it is mistransmitted, and the original saying should be "You can't go to the grave twice". This does not mean that you should not go twice in a month on the day of death and the usual day of going to the grave. The actual meaning of "you can't go to the grave twice" here means that after the death of the elderly, everyone should choose a day to go to the grave, and you can't go to a certain child today and a certain child tomorrow.

If this is the case, the person who marries later will see the traces left by the person who went in front of him to burn the paper, and the relatives will not go to the grave together, which means that there is a gap between each other and they are unwilling to meet.

Therefore, often people do not disturb the deceased too much, so they will not go to the cemetery twice a month to disturb the rest of the deceased, so this situation is often avoided because everyone abides by such relevant folk customs, and the covenant finally achieves a kind of respect and politeness, as well as a code of conduct for the thoughts of the deceased, and finally it has become the custom of not going to the grave twice a month.

In addition to "not going to the grave twice a month", there is also a saying that "one person does not go to the grave for two years", especially the relatives who died at the end of the year. That is to say, the relatives who return to heaven at the end of the year, the three-day taboo, the five-seven taboo and the hundred-day taboo in the first year must be all done, not the next year. I'd rather finish the synthesis than drag it out until the New Year, it's all a secret.

Death means the end of life for a person, so no matter what kind of contradictions there are between the countryside and the deceased in life, they will choose to forget at such a time. Neighbors will spontaneously come to burn paper to mourn without invitation, and they will also take a hand to see if they can help some, so that the funeral of the deceased will be held very smoothly without any trouble. In fact, at this time, it can often let go of the previous conflicts and increase the feelings between neighbors.

This folk custom exists, but it is misinterpreted, and the original saying is "You can't go to the grave twice". It doesn't mean that many people worry that two relatives who died in the same month mean that they can't go to the grave. It does not mean that if the festival day is in the same month as the usual grave day, you cannot go twice.

The so-called "can't go to the grave twice" is actually that the old man has passed away, and everyone has made an appointment to go to the grave on a certain day, but not a certain child can go today and a certain child will go tomorrow. In this case, the person who goes behind will definitely see the traces left by the burned paper of the person who went ahead. Brothers and sisters do not go to the grave together, which means that there are estrangements and opinions between each other, and they are unwilling to look at each other.

The first year of worship for deceased relatives is preferably on death days and festivals, and it is a sign of mourning and remembrance of the deceased relatives. And then in the next two years, do you have to go twice? It depends on your work-life arrangement, if there is no conflict, of course you can go and see.

As for the later time, it will be arranged according to normal customs. However, the old man will remind you that you only go once on a normal day, and that is on the day of death. The so-called "can't go to the grave twice" actually means that after the old man passes away, the children should agree to go together at a time, instead of going to the son today and the daughter tomorrow.

In addition to "not going to the grave twice a month", there is also the saying that "one person does not go to the grave for two years", which is generally a relative who is old at the end of the year. That is to say, the relatives who died at the end of the year, the three-day taboo, the five-seven taboo and the hundred-day taboo in the first year must all be completed, not the next year. It is taboo to merge and complete the merger rather than delay it until the New Year.

Because if you go to worship your ancestors frequently, you will make your ancestors think that the living people miss him very much, so they will dream at night, and after a long time, it will put a lot of mental pressure on the living people, and the mental state is not good, and the work efficiency of the whole life will drop a lot. Of course, the most important thing is that going to the grave many times makes people miss their loved ones too much and only adds a lot of sadness, so it's better to have a choice.

The number of times can only be more, not less, the Spring Festival, Qingming Festival, Zhongyuan Festival, and the first day of October must go. The rules for going to the grave are as follows:

1. When going to the grave, you need to prepare some tribute, which is a custom that has been continued since ancient times, and prepare some chickens, ducks, apples and other things, which generally need to be prepared in advance.

2. When going to the grave, you also need to prepare some wine, chopsticks and other things, and you also need to prepare some paper money and firecrackers.

3. When going to the grave, you need to go to the grave with a sincere heart, going to the grave is actually a kind of commemoration of the deceased, some people will find some monks to go to the excess, this is actually okay, and then go to worship and kowtow after burning the paper money.

There are several reasons why this is said.

If you go to the grave frequently, then the deceased will think that the living relatives are reluctant to give them up, so they will give their dreams to the living. This is not a good thing for people who are alive.

It is said that the deceased is gone, and for those who have died, if they miss and miss too much, it will also hurt the body. Moreover, being immersed in such sad emotions all the time is not good for the living.

Therefore, it is said that you should not go to the grave twice a month, so that you do not see the sad place, and you will not think of the sad things, which is actually for the sake of the living.

Another reason is that some people go to graves separately because of disharmony between siblings. Today, this sister goes, and tomorrow the younger brother goes. If you go to the grave separately in this way, the person who goes behind will inevitably see the paper money burned by the person in front.

And the parents in the underground will know that there is discord between them when they see that their brothers and sisters are not even going to the grave, so that the parents will not be at ease in the underground, and they will also be sad.

Therefore, it is often said that the family should go to the grave together, so that they can work together.

Another reason is that if you go to the grave frequently, it will also disturb those who have passed away. The deceased should be kept in a very quiet environment and try not to disturb them.

Although the living children and grandchildren go to the grave out of filial piety, there must also be a degree.

Of course, this is an old tradition, and many young people don't necessarily follow it now. Young people are busy with work, and sometimes they don't go to the grave together not necessarily because of the disharmony between sisters and brothers, or simply because they can't meet each other in time.

That is, do not go to the grave twice a month, and after the death of the elderly, the children should go to the grave together, not separately, so as not to be considered estranged from each other. January refers to a month.

The reason why two people are not given a grave for a month is actually because people feel that it is disrespectful to give time to two people to go to the grave.

Because some places think that frequent grave visits will disturb the peace of deceased relatives and make the people below unable to sleep comfortably, of course, this is a feudal superstition, not credible.

The current grave is only symbolic, and what is buried is only burnt bone slag, a kind of inheritance.

Don't worship your ancestors twice in a month. This kind of thing is feudal superstition, if you believe it, you will have it, and if you don't believe it, you will not have it. Don't take it too seriously.

Not going to the grave twice a month means that going to the grave twice a month will make the deceased relatives think that you are reluctant to give him up, which is harmful to your health. If a person does not go to the grave for two years, it means that if your relatives die around the end of the year, then the funeral must be completed before the year, and it cannot be divided into two years.

It is a funeral custom. Not many times a month, people gather together to worship so as not to appear discordant. If a person does not take two years, the funeral must be completed within one year, and if it crosses one person, it is unlucky.

The former saves some trouble, because there will be a lot of things to prepare before going to the grave; The latter means that the sacrificial rites must be completed in one year, not in alternate years.