Help to change the essay, thank you 100, help to change the essay, thank you

The example is best related to the beginning, such as "Falling red is not a ruthless thing, turning into spring mud is more protective of flowers", "Spring silkworms are at the end of the silk, and the wax torch turns into ashes and tears begin to dry" can be a teacher, and the cleaner material is relatively old, so it is best to change the example. If you don't want to make a big change, it's better not to write the cleaner directly to paragraph 2 under the modification of paragraph 2, and it will be smoother to do a job. In addition, simplify the language of the cleaner, delete the esoteric knowledge such as bacterial proliferation, and make the cleaner more simple, which is also in line with the identity of the cleaner's lower-class laborer, increase the description of the cleaner who is lonely and unappreciated in the rain and the detailed description of being wet and slightly shivering, highlight the thin but silent dedication of the sweeper, so that the reader is moved by the many people around him who are dedicated to them, and do more processing of the old material, so that the composition can stand out from the many such materials.

The cleaners are selfless and dedicated to us, they don't ask for high returns, they just let people live in a clean environment every day. This sentence is best added with a rhetorical device to highlight the nobility of the sweeper.

Dedication is selfless", I think it should be changed to "Dedication is great" Of course, this has to do with the title, if the title is "Dedication is selfless", then this is the only way to use it. That's about it.

Follow-up question: Help me revise the original text, and the title is "Dedication".

Follow-up: I'm writing about cleaners.

9 o'clock. At night.

A man walks on the path next to his house.

The bleak evening breeze blew, and the branches on both sides trembled slightly. Looking at the field, the crickets in the field seem to be playing the first song of the graceful man. A trace of the past evokes the picture scroll of memories, happy, sad, and scene after scene, scattered in front of me like floating smoke.

For a while, a little sad.

In front of the house, the children next door were eating cheap but affectionate mooncakes, looking at it, I remembered that ,—— was another Mid-Autumn Festival ......

Night. The rest is good! No need to change!

Since ancient times, Mother Earth has nurtured countless people, and she has generously provided resources to humanity. The original people all had a high respect for Mother Earth. However, nowadays, human beings are ...... for their money, status, fame and fortuneConstantly destroying the earth, constantly tormenting our mother of all things.

There was already a slight crack on her **, and her watery body had become dry.

With a gust of wind, a large truck slowly climbed a winding mountain up a hill surrounded by greenery and stopped at a gentle spot halfway up the mountain.

It was a grove. Big trees rose from the ground, tall and big. The green tree is like a giant umbrella that is stretched out, blocking the dazzling sunlight.

The leaves are like small palms, and with a gust of mountain wind, the small palms clap happily, and the rustling sound is like a faint song.

The driver got out of the car and walked around the grove, staring at the big copper coin-sized eyes, carefully searching for good trees. He took a cigarette out of his pocket, pulled out a lighter, and smoked leisurely. Green smoke came out of his mouth and nostrils, and the fresh air around him seemed to be clouded by the smoke.

He returned to the car and pulled an axe from the toolbox, a terrifying cold light flashing from the sharp, smooth surface. He took his axe to a slender tree and chopped it down with a "swish". Knife after knife, so skilled, so chic, constantly making a "knock" sound.

Suddenly, with a "fluttering" sound, a woodpecker stopped on the driver's body and shouted: "There must be worms in this piece of wood!" ”

Human beings should protect the earth and cherish the earth's natural resources. We must not let our Mother Earth be broken, but let our Earth become a beautiful home!

Not much has changed, but it has definitely changed, please take a look. (: There must be worms in this piece of wood!) After this sentence, you can + the driver's thoughts after listening. ）

You can start by talking about why the Chinese are not united, and at the end you can respond to the theme and the beginning. The middle is well written, and it does not need much change or can write one more thing to highlight the reasons for the disunity of the Chinese, and how to overcome the difficulties in the end, reflecting the unity of the Chinese since then. "Giant worm" was changed to unity, "Little Dragon."

Change it to difficult. Your composition will definitely be better this way.

In China, the "giant worm" that has been sleeping for thousands of years has finally woken up and defeated the "little dragon; The national flag that used to be buried in the ruins has become the flag fluttering in the wind today, and now the "worm" has changed back into the dragon.

Sounds awkward, wrong.