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There will be a lot of episodes in the process of our relationship, and arguing with a boyfriend is already a very basic thing. If you love your boyfriend very much, then you should be most worried about the fear that he will break up with you. Although I am afraid, many things will come or come, and it is difficult for you to change a man's mind, you can only accept this thing.
However, some girls have poor self-control, and may be prone to lose control of their emotions when they hear their beloved boyfriend propose to break up with them.
If you encounter such a situation, you can run away first, that is, find a reason to leave first. Because if you're there, the more you think about it, the more you hear him say it, you won't be able to control it. Give yourself a space to think about it after you leave.
Think about your own reason or your boyfriend's reason, if it's your own problem, you can tell your boyfriend to give yourself a chance, if he doesn't give it, let it go and leave yourself a dignity. If it is said that the boyfriend is not in love, there is no need to keep it, even if he stays this time, he will still leave next time. Because emotional loss of control often happens in that moment, so after you stabilize your emotions, you will figure out a lot of things and it is not so difficult to let go.
If that's the case, you can calmly agree to him when you hear him mention breaking up. You may also make him wonder why you are so calm. The more you care about a person, the more he will go too far, he feels that you can't do without him, and he will cry to keep him, then you can't let him succeed.
It's useless to leave someone who doesn't love you, and it's better to let go once than to get hurt again. People always have to save some dignity and face for themselves.
You have to believe that you are good and excellent. After being with someone you love very much, many people will lose themselves and become a generation that feels unworthy of him. It is precisely because of the flattery generated by low self-esteem that accommodation will make him get bored with you so quickly and propose to break up.
You have to believe that you are also very good, think calmly when he mentions the breakup, and you can avoid it first and then give an answer.
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Since you can't continue to get along, then break up with dignity, don't make a big fuss when your boyfriend breaks up with you, be rational, fight for your own interests, and break up peacefully.
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Girl, look down. Emotional things can't be forced, especially now that you're talking about a boyfriend who wants to break up. Now that he has decided, then you should stop worrying about how to get it back, losing him may be the greatest luck in your life, and losing you may be the only friend in his life who really treats her well.
If you miss it, don't try it again.
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First of all, keep calm, if your boyfriend has to break up, break up first, because at this time he is angry, the more you say, the more disgusted he is, you should everyone calm down, analyze the reasons, of course, there are his and yours, if it is because of some small things, then correct it, if you really don't love it, then it's better to break up.
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If your boyfriend wants to break up with herself, she will inevitably be unable to accept it and have uncontrollable emotions. At this time, it is difficult to control your emotions, it is best to contact your friends in time and let your friends accompany you through this difficult moment.
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I think you should calm down first, control your emotions, ask him if you want to know why, and turn away in style if you don't want to know.
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It's much harder to break up with a controlling lover than it is to fall in love with them. Even if your lover keeps hurting you, you may still feel that you don't have the courage to break up, or that your lover can't live without you. However, it is only by breaking up with them that you can start living your life.
If you really want to end this relationship, you must be completely prepared beforehand, act according to the plan, and then stand your ground. The most important thing is to have the courage to take this step.
1. Prepare to break up.
Realize that you are controlled by your lover. Many controlling relationships last a long time because the person being controlled or manipulated will deny that there is a problem between the two people. You may think that the lover is just a little moody or clingy, when in fact, the other person is slowly taking over every aspect of your life.
Here are some signs of a controlling relationship: When you find that your lover is slowly taking over every aspect of your life, such as limiting how often you see friends and where you eat for dinner, it's a sign that the other person is extremely controlling.
If your lover has an emotional outburst or gets angry and keeps telling you how much they need you or loves you, then the other person may be trying to use their emotions to manipulate you.
You wanted to leave your lover before, but the other person threatened you with violence or suicide, which means that you were threatened and manipulated by the other person.
2. Think about all the reasons why you have to leave the other person. Once you find that your lover is very controlling, you may want to start thinking about how good life will be after the relationship ends. This motivates you to leave the other person and start making a breakup plan.
Write down these reasons, keep them in your heart, and make it clear to yourself that you have to leave each other as soon as possible to enjoy life again.
3. Plan how you want to speak. You must be brief, don't give the other person a chance to reason with you, beg you to change your mind, promise to correct and do what you ask you to continue the relationship. You don't need to throw out hundreds of reasons for breaking up or list all the moments when the other person disappointed you, it only complicates the whole situation.
4. Plan how you want to break up. When dealing with an emotionally unstable or controlling person, the way of expression is important. The most important thing is to think about whether the lover is violent.
Or if you're afraid of the other person's reaction, you should bring up the breakup in a public place where you feel safe, bringing a friend with you if necessary.
5. Make an escape plan.
If you live with someone or leave a lot of personal belongings at their residence, you should be thinking about how you can retrieve them. You can secretly transfer them before the breakup so that you don't have to go back after the breakup. Whether it's going behind each other's backs or coming back to pick up something after a breakup, it's best to find a few friends to help you.
The company of friends makes you feel more secure.
More motivated to leave the lover.
6. Break up with the other party in your mind first. Before you break up, tell yourself that it's really over and be prepared to start coping with the healing period that comes naturally. Think of yourself as if you've broken up and don't need to tell the other person beforehand.
When the time comes, you will be more determined to break up because you have made up your mind early.
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1.Communicate with him more and let him understand that you can't tolerate his control for a long time. Be substantive and let him know that you have decided to ask for a breakup and not change your mind again.
2.Don't look for his loopholes, but express what you really feel inside. Let him understand that you are really in pain and upset, and not let him know his shortcomings for the sake of breaking up.
3.If he can't bring up the breakup on his own, take him to a professional counselor so that he can get to the bottom of his emotions. File blind.
4.You can try to give him a better space to give him a chance to grasp the time of the breakup.
5.Be prepared for yourself, real life is full of challenges, and you have to be strong after breaking up.
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You can put your thoughts out there, and if he can't accept it, then you have to break up.
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You can try to use some verbal techniques to propose a breakup, or write a breakup letter, and it is not a good thing for you to keep procrastinating. For example: "You may be sad (not sure if the other person is as sad as you) after reading the next content, just like I feel right now."
But after thinking about it for a long time, I still mustered up the courage to decide to tell you (the emotional torture for you has exceeded the limit of your tolerance, so I am ready for a showdown).
At this point, you probably already know what the subject of my passage is. (implicit breakup hints) I was thinking about your expression when I was writing this paragraph, I felt sorry for you, and I couldn't help but want to cry (a breakup is not the desired ending). But I don't think I should have put it off, and I had told you earlier.
Long pain is better than short pain)".
I cherish the relationship between us, and I have tried very hard to manage our relationship and spend my mind on you. I also thank you for your willingness to change yourself for me, even if it is a small change, I also see it in my eyes and remember it in my heart (I am grateful for the other person's input). But I know you're not the kind of warm person I want (he's not right for you).
Although I try my best not to accept this fact, and I try to believe that you can become what I want to be, I still have to admit that there are some things in my bones that cannot be changed and cannot be ignored, and I don't blame you, but I am a person who is very eager for warmth, because I have been missing for too long, and I always want someone who can make me no longer afraid of the cold.
What you need is a feeling of warmth, not this man, maybe this man once gave you a little warm feeling, and thought that this person was the right person, but found that what always makes you feel warm is a feeling of driving away the cold, not this man, this warm sense of security he can't give)".
After that, you'll need to rearrange your life by reducing (and preferably avoiding) the opportunities to meet and communicate with your boyfriend, spending more time with your girlfriends, colleagues, relatives and friends, and finding things to do when you're alone that allow you to fully immerse yourself, such as practicing yoga while playing Hisaishi's Castle in the Sky.
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You don't love him anymore, you must resolutely leave him, even if he is emotionally out of control, unilaterally block him, and don't meet.
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If he is always emotionally out of control and proves to love you very much, you should think about the relationship between you and him and not be too blind.
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Then you should choose to leave your boyfriend completely, because he is emotional, and maybe he will beat people and use violence in the future.
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I think you should discuss it with him, he may not be able to accept this matter a little, take care of his emotions.
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He may love you too much and doesn't want to break up with you, and if you really don't want to be with him, you can let him calm down before talking about it.
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If you break up with your boyfriend and the other person loses control, then you may need to ask the other party's parents to take him to a psychiatrist, which may be a psychological problem.
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Then you should break up in other ways, after all, you can't bear it at all, and the long pain is better than the short one.
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First of all, breaking up is a science, if you want to suddenly interrupt the relationship in the process of falling in love, you need to master all kinds of wisdom in the science of breaking up, so that the breakup situation can be controlled by yourself, otherwise if you meet a hot-tempered girlfriend, you will be particularly sensitive and angry about the breakup of the relationship, which will bring harm or trouble to both parties, and there are not a few cases due to the breakup.
Secondly, if you want to keep the situation within your control, you need to convey the true thoughts of the breakup to your girlfriend, and at the same time, you must express it tactfully, express your determination, so that the other party has no room for recovery, and give your girlfriend face, maximize the acceptability of the other party, and minimize the degree of harm.
At the same time, if you want to keep the breakup situation within your control, you must not use this to ridicule the other party when you mention the breakup. Because the fact of the breakup has filled the other party's heart with a sense of frustration and loss, if you use this to ridicule your girlfriend and state the other party's various faults in the process of love, it will increase the pressure and frustration of the other party, which will cause the other party to be angry and make the breakup situation out of control.
In addition, the breakup should pay attention to the breakup strategy, not suddenly, but gradually. If you mention the breakup coldly, it will make the girlfriend unacceptable for a while, causing the breakup situation to get out of control, if it is opened in a cold and alienated way first, wait until the estrangement and indifference are almost over, and then mention the breakup will control the breakup situation within the acceptable range.
Finally, when you break up, be sincere and tactful about the reason for the breakup. Sincerity will make the girlfriend accept the reason you say in the depths of her heart, while euphemism is because some reasons for the breakup cannot be expressed directly, and once expressed directly, it will cause harm to the other party, which will lead to the breakup situation getting out of control.
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Personally, I think he is emotionally out of control because he encountered something unsatisfactory, and he doesn't really want to break up with you. He should have been under too much pressure, feeling that he had nothing, and that he was still in debt, and that the responsibility he had to bear was too heavy, and he happened to encounter something unpleasant, so he broke out. And it can be seen that he actually loves you a lot, because he doesn't want you to suffer with him, so he said these words, I suggest you talk to him, it's not easy for two people to come together, and cherish it.
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Thank you for your question!
Survival is not an easy thing for everyone, but no matter how difficult life is, you still have to learn to face and bear it alone.
From the subject's description, it can be imagined that your boyfriend is really not having a good time. However, who has an easy life in this society? The vast majority of them haven't gritted their teeth and swallowed in their stomachs?
From a certain point of view, although his emotional venting is understandable, there is no way to accept it. Because, a man who is frustrated at work vents his grievances and discomfort on his girlfriend is enough to prove that his heart is not strong enough. At least, he wasn't that strong with pressure.
The author suggests that when he is sober, you can have a good talk with him. Know what he thinks and listen to him. As for you, don't be too wronged by yourself.
If you feel that the other person is just a momentary breath, choose to be tolerant. If this behavior is already the norm, then you have to consider whether you are really suitable? After all, there will be more problems in life in the future.
You're not his vent, and you don't have to lick your face every day to live in front of him. Be a self-reliant, self-reliant, self-respecting, self-loving woman. Thank you!
Look at what kind of so-called "disrespect".
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