Chen Guojie s funny homonym Thank you

1 speaks bai

Arithmetic man: "My dear, if you agree to marry me, you can meet any conditions." ”

Woman: "Does talking about the version count?" ”

Man: "Power counts!" ”

Woman: "That's good! Please help me find a boyfriend who is stronger than you! ”

2 A woman is very ugly, she can't get married, and she hopes to be trafficked. finally made his dream come true, but he couldn't sell it for half a month. The kidnapper sent it back, she resolutely did not get out of the car, and the kidnapper gritted his teeth and stomped his foot: go, don't want the car.

3. There is a book called "The Pig Is Thinking".

4Once, as a man walked along the road, he saw a pile of things that looked like poop, so he squatted down and sniffed them, and it looked like poop; He picked it with his hand, and it felt like poop; He put it in his mouth again, and sure enough, it was poop. So he exclaimed, "It's good I didn't step on it."

What do you have to bai unhappy.

What's the matter? Say it.

du to make everyone happy!

A father sighed that two dao generations returned.

The generation gap between them: just answered.

Accustomed to his son's long hair, he shaved his head again.

If you love several people at the same time, it means that you are young. If you love only one, then you are old: if you love no one, you have been born again.

You must have courage to bow your head, and you must have confidence to raise your head.

Don't always ask, "Why me?" when pain comes. "You didn't ask that question when happiness came.

Love is not hierarchical, and romance is equal for everyone.

It is the hero who is not afraid to collect debts, but it is the real poor who are afraid of debts.

You are my sun, but it's a pity that you're going down: you're the moon in my dreams, but it's a pity that it's covered by clouds: you're the heavenly Chang'e descending to the mortal world, but it's a pity that your face hit the ground first.

To stand on your left side is to be ......... closer to your heart

The beauty of a woman lies in being stupid and uncomplaining: the beauty of a man. It's about lying and telling the hell of the day.

Eating from the bowl, looking at the plate, thinking about the pot, looking forward to the field!

Heaven decides who your relatives are, and luckily it leaves room for you when it comes to choosing friends.

Love is like a ghost, the more people you believe, the fewer people you see.

The sorrow of the big people is that they have to keep making choices: and the sadness of the little ones is that they never have the opportunity to choose.

I only drink pure water and milk only pure milk, so I'm very simple.

The Emperor of, the Sugar Taizong, and the Empress Dowager of Porcelain Washing (these are all commonly used by us, I hope you like it).

Golden silk orange myopia insect nearly forty percent of the tight support.

Canary; Approximately absent; It seems to be a symptom, myopia is common, entering the market, and tearing the slit tightly!

Filaria, similar to orange, myopic worm, feeding support, squeezing dead worm, rapid death worm.

Nearly forty percent, soaked called, gold stone city, compact.

Parasites, aerobics, commentary, hard brakes, cockpit, shuttle car, technical department, reviewed.

Park & AD.

A teacher was filling out a student registration card, and he asked a student, "How old is the girl?"

The student said that the students in front of the teacher were all born in A.D., and you think I was born in A.D., tell you that my mother told me that I was born in the hospital.

A foreigner went to his friend's place of work to look for him.

At the front desk, I'll look for Lao Wang.

Lao Wang has already left the personnel (foreigners think it is the world).

I didn't even have time to give him a ride.

As for yesterday, you can go to the 18th floor below.

This....It's inconvenient, isn't it?

Oh yes, it's a bit inconvenient during the day, or I'll let him go to you at night! No, no.

It's okay, don't let him come to me, I'll go first.

There used to be a person named Shi Zhenxiang. He went to sign up. Teacher Teacher Teacher Says:

I don't think smells. He said: It's Shi Zhenxiang.

My name is Shi Zhenxiang. The teacher said: Amount, amount.

Moderator:"Which units have arrived? "

So the participants reported themselves to their homes one by one:

I am a male gelding pig (Public Security Bureau). "

My name is Pig (EDB). "

I'm a bit of a pig (post office). "

I'm a typical pig (telecommunications bureau).

A county magistrate with a strong accent came to the village to make a report: rabbits, shrimps, pig tails! Don't pickle melon, pickles are too expensive!

After the county magistrate finished speaking, the host said: Pickles, please sausage and pickles! The township chief said:

Rabbits, today's rice dog has eaten, everyone is a big king! Don't want pickles, I'll pick up a shit for you to lick

Translation: A county magistrate with a strong accent went to the village to make a report: Comrades, villagers, pay attention!

Don't speak, let's have a meeting! After the county magistrate finished speaking, the host said: Now please invite the township chief to speak!

8.The bus I was driving that day arrived at the station, and the passengers got off. The moment the car door was about to close, a woman yelled outside the car door; "I'm going to die in your car! ''

I was so nervous that I immediately closed the door and quickly stepped on the accelerator, thinking; "There are a lot of weirdos and strange things in the city. ''

Unexpectedly, the lady actually called a taxi to chase after my bus, and finally stopped.

The door opened, and the lady screamed again; "Why not stop? I'm going to die in your car! ''

I asked her in fear; "Miss, what do you can't think of? ''

He angrily walked to a seat, then picked up a bunch of keys and said to me; "I'm going to die [key] in your car! ''

Full of fun, recommended:

After the county magistrate finished speaking, the host said: Pickles, please sausage and pickles! ”

Translation: Now the mayor of the township is invited to speak! ）

Translation: Don't speak, I'll tell you a story A county magistrate with a strong accent came to the village to make a report: "Rabbits, shrimps, pig tails!" Don't pickle melon, pickles are too expensive! ”

Translation: Comrades, villagers, pay attention! Don't speak, let's have a meeting! )

Eat a pound to make a sentence.

Xiao Ming: I saw a lump of cow dung on the road, and I was shocked

Teacher: Massive, massive......

Paint the wall with dung--- be angry and strong.

Empathetic --- empathetic.

The future --- money.

The future is immeasurable--- the future of money is bright.

Sit back and wait--- sit and wait for the coin.

The name of the clothes is amazing--- it is a blockbuster.

Whatever you want--- whatever you want.

There is no trouble--- there is no danger.

Cough can't wait--- can't wait.

Hundred clothes and one hundred smooth--- one hundred and one hundred smooth.

Hemorrhoids must be obtained--- ambition must be obtained.

Step by step to win--- step by step.

Wine Defeat (Prestigious.

Heaven and earth wine (forever and forever.

There is no trouble (there is no danger.

The turtle came unharmed (don't come unharmed).

A Ming Amazing (A Blockbuster.

Nine Wine Return to the Land (Nine Nine to One.

Calcium is unparalleled in the world (unparalleled in the world.

Silent mosquito (obscurity).

Famous for drinking (famous.

Don't miss the chicken (Don't miss the opportunity.)

There are hemorrhoids without fear (there is no fear of confrontation.

Cast pen from Rong (cast pen from Rong).

Reasonable (reasonable.

Unique (unique).

Endless flow (endless streaming).

Shares to gold (through the ages).

Second to any paper (second to none.

No stomach is cured (no detail).

Drink proud (proud).

Nothing else to ask for (nothing else to ask for).

Eat Whole Foods (Perfect.

Keep improving

Wash out of the hope (overjoyed).

A network of deep love (a deep love).

Pure as you want (as you want).

Step by step to win--- step by step.

Wine Defeat (Prestigious.

Heaven and earth wine (forever and forever.

There is no trouble (there is no danger.

The turtle came unharmed (don't come unharmed).

A Ming Amazing (A Blockbuster.

Nine Wine Return to the Land (Nine Nine to One.

Calcium is unparalleled in the world (unparalleled in the world.

Silent mosquito (obscurity).

Famous for drinking (famous.

Don't miss the chicken (Don't miss the opportunity.)

Homophony is a figure of speech that uses the condition of homophony or close sound of Chinese characters to replace the original character with homophone or close phonetic words to produce rhetorical interest.

Original idiom homonym.

Bringing humiliation upon oneself (outwitting one's milk).

The Cowherd and the Weaver Girl (The Cowherd and the Weaver Girl).

Nyorai Divine Palm (milk to stretch the palm).

Nine Deaths (Nine One Body).

Facts speak louder than words (lion poop is better than bear poop).

Modulation and frustration (a sheep squatting wrong).

Kill two birds with one stone (Yi Jian is cool).

Strive to be strong (smear the walls with dung), ever (since there is).

The poor brother is extremely hungry (extremely vicious), bathes as he pleases (does what he wants), has hemorrhoids without fear (has no fear), and drinks proudly (proudly).