There are no very funny jokes, simple ones

The mother sternly said to her daughter, "Don't swing too high when playing on the swing!" ”

The daughter was puzzled and asked her mother why.

Because then the boys will see your panty! ”

The next day, the daughter rushed home and said to her mother: "Mom, today I had a swing race with Xiaoli, and I won!" ”

Mom was very angry, "Didn't I tell you that you shouldn't swing too high on the swing!" ”

But I'm so clever that I took my little pants off. ”

A man reluctantly said to his brother: "I can't stand my girlfriend anymore, she stirs coffee differently than others!" Left-handed! ”

Hey, bro, listen, it's nothing, she's left-handed, and so is my wife. Don't mind".

But everyone else uses a spoon! ”

The teacher asked the students to write down their ideals when they grew up, and Xiaomi thought about it and wrote: "Teacher, when I grow up, I want to be a policeman and catch the robbers!" The teacher praised Xiaomi, and at the same time said to Xiaomi: "Good ideals, but you have to pay attention, your table mates are going to rob banks when they grow up." ”

1. In the morning, I went to the vegetable market to buy vegetables, and I asked the vendor, "Have you ever used pesticides for this dish?" The peddler thought for a moment and said, "I guess I can't beat it." ”

2. Playing a game of beating the back of a female colleague, I accidentally caught her hand and broke a little epidermis, and then the female colleague took out her mobile phone with a serious face, and when I thought she was going to take a picture and send it to the circle of friends to accuse me, I saw her searching on the Internet: Do you need to be vaccinated against rabies if you are caught by a single dog?

3. It is said that female drivers are terrible, but it is really not all like this, and there are many female drivers who have good driving skills. Take me as an example, my husband praised me today, he said: The road is so wide, there is a brick about 20 centimeters in the middle, you can just press on it, the technique is awesome!

4. I found a fortune teller to tell me a hexagram, he looked at it and said, "This brother, you must have been born in the early hours of the morning." "I was amazed

How do you calculate so accurately? He stroked his beard and said, "Because one to three o'clock in the morning is ugly."

5. A classmate of mine, some time ago, sold a house in Beijing, no matter how the family stopped it, it was useless to ask him why, he said: Just this suite, I can't live in the future, and I can't afford to buy it, it's better to buy a dozen sets in my hometown county, and I'd rather be a chicken head than a phoenix tail! It wasn't until I heard two days ago that he opened a bathing center, and I figured it out!

6. One day I asked my mother, "Mom, what am I to you?" My mom glanced at me, "Damn, retarded!" ”

7. When my wife came home, she happily said to her husband: "I asked someone to see the palmistry today, and he said that my second husband was a handsome, well-learned, and very considerate man. The husband hurriedly asked, "Oh? Are you married to me for the second time? ”

8. When the liberal arts and sciences were classified, Xiao Wang's grades in science were very good, but he chose the liberal arts, so I asked him: Is it possible that there are more girls in the liberal arts? He said: I think so much, just because the cafeteria is closest to the liberal arts class!

9. When I was a child, I once ate fish, and I was stuck in my throat by a fish bone, and I couldn't swallow it. I had to ask my parents for help, and all kinds of home remedies continued one after another, drinking vinegar, swallowing steamed buns, and swallowing nests. As a result, I ate it, and the fish bones are still there! Later, I remembered the doctor!

10. I saw a fat homeless man just now, and I asked him, "As a homeless man, why are you still so fat?" "Because I don't have the money to go to the gym," he said. ”

Short and funny jokes are:1. Sleep in class, make trouble after class, and die in exams.

2. If my departure can be exchanged for your smile, then you should cry.

3. Toss a coin: go to the Internet on the front, go to sleep on the back, and do your homework when you stand up.

4. If you are not afraid of god-like opponents, you are afraid of rogue rabbit-like teammates.

5. If the brain-dead can fly like a great thing, then this is the airport.

6. If you are willing to die for me, and I will not open my eyes to see you die, I will only close my eyes.

7. When I passed by a person, my clothes were torn, and there were no sparks.

8. Otaku is a very unstable posture. As long as there is a power outage, it will degenerate into a cave man.

9. Just because I looked at you more, I can only explore the way with crutches from now on.

10. There is a state of lovers called: not seeing or leaving. - Not seen, not scattered.

The short hilarious jokes are as follows:

1. Why do you have to listen to ** when writing homework, because this will be efficient.

2. I found that my laughter was so low that even a dog could make me laugh.

3. I want to go to the movies with my boyfriend recently, and I ask you to recommend me if you have any good boyfriends.

4. The crab went out for a walk and accidentally bumped into the loach, and the loach was very angry: Are you blind when you laugh sleepily? The crab is very aggrieved: No, I am a crab.

5. Every time I write my homework late, there will always be two villains buried in my mind, one says forget it, don't write it, and the other says okay, okay.

6. Why some people don't like their relatives because they always ask some personal questions.

7. Why starfish never feel lonely because they are always cuddling on the beach.

8. Why do dogs always prick up their ears when they watch the door, because they want to hear more clearly.

9. Why do rich people have thicker waistlines because their wallets are too heavy.

10. Why do bear wheels always look so melancholy, because they think their dark circles are too ugly.

A collection of simple jokes.

Simple joke encyclopedia one:

1. Time can be everything, except procrastination.

2. It is not the rat droppings that spoil the porridge, but the people who put the rat droppings.

3. The ability to borrow money from the bank is interested, and borrowing from friends means that you have no income.

4. Women are like war, and food is like sugar-coated cannonballs, they may be sacrificed at any time.

5. The so-called brothers and sisters, mentors and friends, in the world of two people in the love field, they are all idle people.

6. Feelings are given to people who should not be given, meat grows in parts that should not grow, and the two cups in a woman's life are ranked in no particular order.

7. Grades are like melon seeds, which can only be eaten out by gritting your teeth.

8. What's wrong with myopia, you don't have to see the world so clearly, it's better to live in a hazy way.

9. The reason why people are too tired is because there is a seduction force up and down, left and right, front and back.

10. Those who are unforgiving in their mouths are generally very soft-hearted; If you don't forgive people in your heart, you will say it with your mouth. Very nice to hear.

11. Tears are the best makeup remover, and sometimes it is the mask that is removed.

12. Chickens and dogs are restless, sheep enter the tiger's mouth, dragons fight for tigers, tigers and snakes, wind, horses and cows are not related--- vividly illustrating the law of zodiac restraint.

13. There was originally a road in the scenic spot, but there were too many people, and there was no road.

14. It is said that the Internet is very fake, as if the reality is very real.

Simple Joke Collection 2:

1. Give me a fulcrum, I will pry the neighbor's kid's car into the ditch, so that he can honk when he sees me.

2. If you like a person, you will not only go down to the soil, but also go down to the bones.

3. I like to save things for tomorrow, not because I'm lazy, but because tomorrow will be better.

4. There is Yan Ruyu in the book, and I want to read for having or maintaining improper relationships with multiple women!

5. I have never been deceived, because it is not a person who deceives me.

6. There is only one trouble if you are not full, and there are countless troubles when you are full.

7. Don't be arrogant and salt my wounds, and occasionally bring some cumin.

8. Your outstanding, cross description: the facial features are very exquisite, and the combination is very blurred.

9. You dress dangerously, but you look safe.

10. "Your girlfriend is crying, you have to react a little!" "I have, I rolled my eyes. ”

11, the eleventh long holiday is over, if it goes well, the next long holiday will be the Spring Festival in 2013, if it doesn't go well, we will all have a holiday forever after December 21 this year. . .