Why do people who have been emotionally hurt do this?

You take the initiative to chase her, which may be destined for you to pay more, love is to be managed by two people, what kind of feelings does he have for you, take a good look at it, the more you fall, the more you will be hurt.

Don't believe such words, it can't be.

Ask yourself, your first boyfriend, do you love him?

Love. But what about now?

Don't love eight. So, don't believe these words too much, I originally said that I love you, and I'm not just happy now, so can you make me happy??

He doesn't love you So you don't need to expect anything from him, I understand your feelings You can't let go Because you love him, but love is a matter of two people It's good if you work hard, let go when you should let go, you let go freely In fact, it's a new get, let go Although it will hurt...

He doesn't love you, really, he's just pinning his empty heart just in time for you to deliver it to the door

After a person has been hurt emotionally, he will no longer believe in love and do not like to contact with the opposite sex, because he is afraid of being hurt again, and even in the face of a new relationship, he will not devote himself wholeheartedly to protect himself.

You may not believe in your feelings, and it will be difficult to open your heart to another person, and you are afraid that you will be hurt again.

will become cautious and careful about feelings, no longer believe in love easily, very picky about feelings, and difficult to get along and communicate.

After being hurt, you will no longer believe in any feelings, and you will become very realistic, and you will only recognize money and not people.

Once the person has been hurt in the relationship, it is difficult for the scar in the person's heart to heal, so it is difficult for the person to believe in the relationship anymore, and there is no way to accept a person again.

They may be very afraid of feelings, unwilling to contaminate any feelings, may close themselves off, and are reluctant to contact the opposite sex.

There have been cases of not being understood, being hurt. The damage dealt is continuous. This hides a sense of powerlessness and unforgiveness for that person.

It was the man who made you miserable for so long, and he made you stop being brave and become timid. It was he who made you no longer believe in the existence of love and dare not simply give.

But is what you see real? Some people experience the same "misfortune" but can quickly come out and become braver and stronger. The same Niki was injured, why did someone become braver and someone more vulnerable?

It wasn't the person who said that sentence that hurt you, but the unbraveness that was powerless to protect yourself at that time.

Same "damage", different power.

People have three choices when faced with suffering: fight or flight, which correspond to two primordial energies: yin and yang. When taking damage, choosing how to respond determines the power of the "damage".

Those who choose to flee are using the contraction of negative energy to allow others to "behave" in your world and surrender their own interests. Those who choose to fight are using the expanded masculine energy, they are determined to protect their interests, and they respect and support their feelings.

The reason why we feel hurt in some situations is because of a conflict of beliefs with that person. You have a disagreement, and he expresses it so firmly, that it makes you doubt your beliefs and choices.

The more you believe his views, the more you doubt yourself. You allow thoughts that do not belong to you to exist in your spiritual world and endure the pain of facing it for long periods of time. You can also make different choices, blend the contradictions, or keep your opinion to yourself.

<> "Why do some people always suffer the same hurt in their relationships?

Subsequent intimacy is sometimes compensation for previous intimacy", how to understand this sentence?

In counseling, the following two situations often arise:

1. Intimacy is the compensation for the parent-child relationship of the original family.

Some people have not been able to get enough love and warmth from their parents in the process of growing up in their original family, and even have some traumatic experiences, which may gradually make them have a big hole in their hearts that lack love, and at the same time form some relatively biased outlook on life, for example, some people believe that they are not worthy of love, and others will hurt themselves inexplicably.

With these deficiencies or beliefs, there is a high chance that something will go wrong when they enter into their intimate relationships. For example, some people will be with people who are much worse than themselves, because this can reduce the likelihood of being abandoned.

2. This intimate relationship is compensation for the previous intimate relationship.

Some emotional experiences are unforgettable for people, and this fundamental reason may be because it subverts people's original three views, and makes people realize for the first time that there will be such a side to life, feelings, and people's hearts.

The subversion of the three views will be a harmful event for people's hearts, because we deal with the world on the basis of our own three views. If our three views are proven to be wrong or flawed, our sense of security will be shaken – and we will realize that we may not be able to protect ourselves well. At this point, we may activate our own defense mechanisms to try to fix the vulnerability.

Another relationship is often a subconscious choice for many people, maybe choosing a completely different person from the past to live a completely different life will restore some sense of security in the heart. But in either the first or the second case, there is a possibility that the defense mechanism will fail.

When we realize that our current problems and past experiences are related to trauma, it means that we are already clear in our hearts that the problem can no longer be avoided, and we have to face it, no matter how painful and difficult it is.

We need to look back, face the facts of the past, re-analyze, think, and experience, vent the pent-up emotions, and express the hidden feelings, so that it is possible to reconcile with the past, integrate ourselves without repentance, and move towards the future.

In this difficult process, sometimes with the help of psychological counseling, we can get more results with half the effort and no longer feel so scared and lonely.