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Hello, I am a psychological counseling intern, I tried to help you do an analysis, it may not be very accurate, I hope it can help you.
It can be seen from your situation that in fact, the real reason why you ended the relationship by breaking up in the end is not that specific event, it is just the fuse, and the crisis has appeared before that incident, that is, you don't like him and don't accept him, feelings are a matter of both parties, and he can naturally feel your dislike and disgust for him.
Therefore, even if this incident does not happen later, he will use other excuses to break up with you, in fact, for the incident itself, this ending is acceptable, because you who don't like him get relief from this relationship, it is his fault that he reveals your privacy to his colleagues in private, but the matter has come to this, you can no longer entangle with him too much, the smartest way to deal with rumors is to face them calmly, don't take it seriously, you still live your own life, and the rumors have not gained resistance to negative emotions, Its power will naturally subside, such an attitude will also win the sympathy and respect of colleagues, if you react strongly, it will enhance the power of rumors, so face life positively, pay attention to improving the relationship between colleagues, face everything calmly, I believe you will meet people who appreciate you.
At the same time, you can also reflect on whether feelings can really be reconciled. In this relationship, do you hurt the other person because you don't like the other person and still have a relationship with the other person? The matter has passed, I hope you think clearly about what you want your other half to be, and the most important thing is to face your heart sincerely and bravely, so that you will get the opportunity to become stronger and more mature in this event.
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Don't think too much, go with the flow, care too much about other people's eyes will be very tired, as for the family, you can just tell the truth, even if you don't understand it at first, you will accept it, after all, it is family.
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Find someone better than him, go your own way and let others do the talking!
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The main ways to find mental balance are:
1. Establish a correct attitude towards inferiority.
Everyone has their own advantages and potentials, and they are good at exploring their own psychological strengths, mobilizing and giving full play to these advantages and potentials to the greatest extent, establishing correct values, adjusting their subjective needs, and fully understanding themselves, in order to make positive contributions to society.
2. Build a good social support system for Shibi.
People with low self-esteem generally lack interpersonal communication, emotional communication, and social support. Interpersonal interaction is an important condition for mental health. Building a good social support system will allow them to get help when they face difficulties or setbacks, so as to avoid the occurrence of vicious incidents.
3. Compensation and sublimation help to overcome low self-esteem.
Adler believed that if there is a lack of self-consciousness in some aspects, it can be compensated through methodical efforts, that is, the compensatory effect of "losing the east, reaping the mulberry". Therefore, they should improve their enterprising spirit and work enthusiasm through the compensation of corresponding corrections. A person's low self-esteem can also be corrected through sublimation.
Sublimation can shift goals and achieve inner balance, while at the same time creating positive value.
The imbalance comes from your values.
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