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Someone is going to divorce, and there are always people who advise: for the sake of the child, it is more important to give the child a complete home than anything else! Marriage, for whom does it exist?
Should I make do with my children? It should be said that two people never knew each other to knew each other and fell in love, and then entered into marriage, with the crystallization of love, this marriage should be cherished. And every couple has a process of running in with each other, and they need tolerance and understanding.
But if after rational thinking, you feel that love is gone, and there is no happiness for two people to be together, then it is better to separate, even if you already have children. First, a makeshift marriage ends up hurting more than just three people. The essence of marriage is that two people love each other, the essence of family is that relatives love each other, family is the last hole card for a person to struggle in the world, and it is the safest haven for life.
A marriage that exists in name only and looks like a god is inhuman and immoral. Love is the foundation of marriage, how can a child who grows up in a family without love be happy? In a family that lacks joy and warmth, what kind of healthy character and mentality will children develop?
What's more, a makeshift marriage not only hurts the husband and wife, but also the children, and may also affect the parents and siblings of both parties. A child not only needs the love of his parents, but he also needs the happiness that his parents' love for each other brings him. Our parents and siblings not only want to see you have a complete home, but also want to see you have a happy marriage with a happy, plain and warm smile.
Second, a makeshift marriage will not last long. In the ideology of modern people, they still long for a good marriage, life is short, life and career have unbearable pressure, if the perennial cold war, smiling in front of people, sneering after people, strangers at home, without each other's care and consideration, it is better not to be together, because even if you do not divorce, it will have a great impact on the children.
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Is it necessary to maintain a painful marriage for the sake of children?
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I think it's boring to stick to an emotionless marriage for the sake of your children. Very low. Don't hold on to a bad marriage because of your children.
If you feel about your marriage. There is no emotion, so why would you choose to have a child? Aren't you letting your child have a bad family?
So it doesn't make much sense to maintain a marriage for the sake of children. My college roommate has a home that's it. Father and mother have maintained an emotionless marriage for more than ten years for her, so he has a very, very deep psychological burden.
He was relieved until he went to college and his father and mother were separated. <>
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It doesn't make sense.
No matter what role you are in, you have the right to a better life. It's just that the trade-off is up to you, and there is a give-and-go to gain. It's not that divorce is right or wrong. If you have a child, you will think about the child to some extent, but it is irresponsible for both parties to reluctantly be together if two people who are not suitable.
Assuming divorce, if both husband and wife love their children and can still pay for their children, this actually has no effect on the children, if there is no divorce and the feelings of both parties are not harmonious, then the atmosphere of the whole family cannot be disguised as loving each other, happy and beautiful. The child can still feel it. Discordant emotions are like intricate seaweed, and dissatisfaction will roll up more and more, until you want to get out but it's too late, and you will start to think, why don't I choose to be upstream, but choose to indulge meaninglessly.
If we leave the decision of a marriage to our children, is it too much pressure for them? "If it weren't for you, I would have divorced. Many people may have heard this as a child, or said it to their own children.
Think about it from another perspective, if we hear our parents say this, do we feel that our birth will be a mistake?
In an unhealthy marriage, you are enduring it, and so are your children. If, in the process of shaping his personality, he feels that it is acceptable to endure marital faults such as domestic violence, then do you think he will repeat the mistakes of the past after he establishes his own family? It is true that divorce will have a certain impact on children, and some children will even collapse and their academic performance will plummet.
But it is not that without divorce, the child's personality will be sound.
Don't children who live in an environment of quarrels, violence, intimidation, and humiliation feel the pain of their parents? He felt it, and he was a very clear experiencer. In this environment, they will become sensitive and have low self-esteem, because the environment created by their parents is a field full of contradictions, resentment, and weak communication, and he is in it and has nowhere to escape.
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Is it necessary to maintain a painful marriage for the sake of children?
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This kind of marriage is meaningless, finding a way to give the child a normal family is the most correct choice, the child should be the bond between the parents, not the bond between the parents.
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I don't think it's pointless, because if you're trying to live with someone, you can't create a friendly and loving family environment for your children, and it may make things worse.
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The relationship between many family couples has broken down, but they still live together in pain, saying that it is for the good of the children, but is it really right to maintain the marriage for the sake of the children?
I want to get a divorce and I'm worried that it will cause a lot of harm to my children, should I keep my marriage for the sake of my children? ”
Seeing this sentence, if you have already thought about it and decided that you want a divorce, what I want to say is: divorce is not the worst for children, and the worst thing for children is a bad family environment. It is the indifferent and angry eyes of the parents, the expressions of the parents who are worried and no longer happy, the pretense of the parents who keep arguing, and the shirk of saying that they will not divorce for the sake of their children!
I remember when I was a child, my parents wanted to divorce and quarrel every day.
I always thought that they should find the right people, but they kept saying that they were afraid that it would affect my schooling and affect my growth, and they would not leave ...... for my good
Actually, although I don't know if they are divorced or not, I only know that if they don't divorce, I will not have a good life.
Divorce, to a certain extent, is a timely stop loss, and it is an irreparable way out in the face of emotional breakdown.
Of course, I don't encourage divorce, but for everyone living in a bad family, divorce is a relief.
If the parents can actively and effectively deal with the divorce, then, one year after the divorce, the children can learn from the experience of their parents' marriage, and then apply it to their own lives, socially, academically, emotionally, and even better than before the divorce.
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It can't be simply meaningful or meaningless, for children, giving them a stable family is very helpful for their growth, but for themselves, a marriage without love will only make them uncomfortable.
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I think it makes sense, because the personality of a child in a single-parent family can become quite eccentric, and I have such friends around me, and the personality is very extreme, but this kind of marriage is a pain for both husband and wife.
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There is a saying that "it is nonsense not to divorce for the sake of children", but the premise of this is that the relationship between husband and wife has completely broken down, there is no hope of recovery, and quarrels and even hands have become normalized. So in such a situation, it is nonsense to say that it is for the sake of children, why do you say that? Many couples who do not divorce have the fundamental intention of giving their children a complete home and do not want their children to live in a single-parent family, which is good, but they ignore other important issues.
First, there are many contradictions between husband and wife, often quarreling and even fighting, which child can grow up healthy and happy under such environmental conditions? Can such a family make children feel warm and happy? Do you see the warm picture and sweet smile of this family during the Chinese New Year?
Second, because the problems between husband and wife often ignore the child's mental growth, ignore the child's academic performance, and may also vent the conflicts and emotions of the husband and wife on the child because of the child's small mistakes, such as greedy play, such as poor test scores. In this way, it is easy to cause too many shadows to accumulate in the child's heart, and the personality is withdrawn or rebellious, and there is no love at home except for hearing quarrels and complaints. Children will slowly skip school, skip school, enter society too early, and meet many undesirable young people in society, they will take their children to play, so that children feel the so-called "happy and relaxed", and they can also vent their emotions.
In this way, they slowly begin to learn vices such as fighting, stealing, and even taking drugs. And if the couple finds these problems, they have no patience to slowly enlighten and explain slowly, and will only punish the child with beating and scolding for such a serious mistake. The result?
Instead of being conscious of the error, the child exacerbates these conditions. The vast majority of juvenile offenders in prisons do so in such families. If the divorce will also cause some harm to the children, but this kind of impact is much better than the previous situation, at least the family is calm after the divorce, no matter who the child follows, the parents will redouble their care and care, to make up for the harm to the child as much as possible.
No matter what the husband and wife do when they face divorce, they will inevitably cause different effects and harm to the children, and the problem is the degree and result of the two injuries.
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Is it right to maintain a marriage for the sake of children? 1. Tired. 2. In order to maintain the marriage of unhealthy parents, the heart is tired and the dilemma is combined.
After thirteen years of being together, the more they talked, the less they talked, the two sides looked unpleasant, aren't they tired? Two people are the same as acting, ridiculous, right? It's a joke if it goes on any longer, isn't it? .
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There is a need for this! If you don't have to, you won't even mention the issue of mitigating harm to your child later. We all know; With marriage comes a home, and with a home comes a responsibility!
This responsibility is for both parents, but also for the consequences of your actions, children! If your marriage really can't go on, you should also consider the proper placement of your children first, and don't let your children be used as funeral objects for your marriage! One of you must take the initiative to take up the burden of supporting your child in the future.
Be responsible for your actions and pay for your mistakes!
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It makes sense, because after maintaining the marriage, those children who take the college entrance examination will be easily admitted to the ideal university, and those children will not have to suffer from mental illness because of their parents' love problems, and they will be easier to accept and understand when they talk about their parents' relationship after they go to college.
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It doesn't make sense at all, parents may feel that they are sacrificing for their children, but the children don't need this sacrifice at all, it will increase the pressure on the children, and the parents also think that they are great, which is not good for both parties.
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I think this is meaningful, now many problem teenagers are children in single-parent families, it can be seen that single-parent families are very harmful to children, parents are responsible for their children, and the impact of parental divorce on children is huge.
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In married life, if it is not to the point where you have to divorce, it is better not to choose which step, if it is just for some trivial things to stumble and there is some discord in the personality, then such a problem can be solved by changing. If two people are divorced, it will have some impact on the children more or less, so for the healthy growth of the children and the harmony and happiness of the family, try to choose two people to solve the problem, so that your life will be better.
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There is no worthiness or not, since you have a child, you have the responsibility to give the child a complete home. There have definitely been good moments! Even for a moment!
Otherwise, what about the children from there! Feelings can be cultivated. Therefore, you should work hard to love your partner for the sake of your children!
If there is a little problem, you can only know how to solve it with divorce. Then definitely not a good parent.
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Say that it is not worth it is childless, you can't believe the pain of a child without a sound family, he can be strong, but the vulnerability behind it is bottomless, before he is an adult, before he grows up, it is the responsibility of parents to give him enough warmth that he deserves, don't affect the child for a lifetime because of his own problems.
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First of all, agree with Feng Gu's answer! Divorce will more or less cause psychological shadows to children! Parents quarrel in fact, children know that precocious children are more or less a bit of a problem in the family, children understand things in fact after the age of 3 will have their own independent thinking, parents quarrel and fight, the ultimate victim is the child, they will be more mature than their peers, deep thinking, more introverted, withdrawn, serious and even hate the world, negative effects.
It is very difficult for adults to have no feelings, but considering the healthy growth of children, I think that parents can play with each other and tolerate each other!
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Is it necessary to maintain a painful marriage for the sake of children?
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There is no need to keep an unhappy marriage, and the children will also distinguish between right and wrong, family.
The disharmony is also harmful to the child, a harmonious family is conducive to the growth of the child, some people do not divorce in the child as an excuse, as a shield, it is unfair to the child, even if the divorce, a person can also take the child well, can also get a good education.
I think that since we have come to an end, it is time to quickly cut through the mess and end this disheartening marriage, pack up our mentality, and start again. People, there will be a lot of unsatisfactory in this life, the key lies in your own mentality, if you know how to adjust your mentality, I think you are successful. Marriage is not a matter of two people; Nor is it a matter of two families; There are a lot of threads involved, and your loved ones, your friends, and even the people who have ruined your marriage need to be understood and treated. >>>More
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