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Put down the shelves and communicate with your children on an equal footing].
There are many times when parents always think that their children are still young and do not have their own unique thoughts, so they naturally use their own actions to suppress their children.
because they don't know that their children will have a heart. In fact, every child has their own thoughts, but most of them don't want to.
Communicate with parents. Because the objective mind of the parents will always oppose him this wrong, that wrong. So the child of today was formed.
The children are unfamiliar with the exchange of ideas with their parents, and the parents take it for granted that the children have no minds.
-Hope mine can help you yo o(o---
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As the saying goes: you're so small, there's a waist there.
This is how I understand this kind of thing.,Adults,Adults with children.,Encountering too many events.,It's very vague about the events when I was a child.,Forget that you have your own thoughts when you're a child.,Even if you remember it, you will feel very naïve.,And that's why I hate my former self now.。
This kind of objective thinking will naturally be based on your own children, so forgive the parents.
In today's age of the Internet, children think that they have become more knowledgeable and mature, and often these are just what they think.
Even adults are the same.
It is right for children to be obedient, but if they ask too much, children will be very unassertive in adulthood.
Don't be self-defeating.
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Clause. 1. Parents think that children don't have to worry about food and clothing, they don't need to make money, they just need to have fun.
Clause. Second, there is a generation gap between parents and children.
Clause. 3. Children have always been a carefree image in the eyes of people, and this image has long been deeply rooted in the hearts of the people, and it is not so easy to change.
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1. Listen to your child's inner thoughts.
For many cases, the reason why children are expressing a simple thing is often their own ideas, but once these ideas are timely by parents, it is easy to hit the children's self-confidence, and let the children have a certain sense of frustration, and over time, the children are naturally reluctant to talk to parents about some topics they are interested in.
I have this situation, all parents, you may wish to choose to listen to the children's ideas, some of the children's ideas, it is because of their age and some wonderful ideas, which are most of the parents in their age group do not have ideas, and inspiration, and for some of the children's ideas, parents should keep calm, and encourage the children many times, only to encourage the children, express what they want to express, so that after that, The child will be able to express himself more frequently.
2. Respect your child's inner thoughts.
In fact, in the whole process of communication, all parents, in addition to listening more to the children's ideas, but also to respect the children's ideas, in most cases, the reason why the children will have certain ideas, often without careful consideration, and parents often because of their rich experience and always deny the children's ideas, on the contrary, you should respect the children's inner thoughts, when some of the children's ideas are proposed, you may wish to try to encourage the children, And the child has a certain amount of empathetic thinking, and slowly the child will naturally be able to open up to the parents.
Conclusion: As a parent, if you want your children to be able to open their hearts to themselves, the first thing to do is to understand what the children think, their real thoughts often depend on whether they are willing to communicate with parents, if you can't even do the most basic things, then how can your children treat themselves well?
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If the child refuses to say something, do the following two things:
1. Listen to your child's inner thoughts.
For many cases, the reason why children are expressing a simple thing is often their own ideas, but once these ideas are timely by parents, it is easy to hit the children's self-confidence, and let the children have a certain sense of frustration, and over time, the children are naturally reluctant to talk to parents about some topics they are interested in.
I have this situation, all parents, you may wish to choose to listen to the children's ideas, some of the children's ideas, it is because of their age and some wonderful ideas, which are most of the parents in their age group do not have ideas, and inspiration, and for some of the children's ideas, parents should keep calm, and encourage the children many times, only to encourage the children, express what they want to express, so that after that, The child will be able to express himself more frequently.
2. Respect your child's inner thoughts.
In fact, in the whole process of communication, all parents, in addition to listening more to the children's ideas, but also to respect the children's ideas, in most cases, the reason why the children will have certain ideas, often without careful consideration, and parents often because of their rich experience and always deny the children's ideas, on the contrary, you should respect the children's inner thoughts, when some of the children's ideas are proposed, you may wish to try to encourage the children, And the child has a certain amount of empathetic thinking, and slowly the child will naturally be able to open up to the parents.
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If your child refuses to talk about something, he just doesn't want to share it with his parents, so you can let your child's friends talk to him and see what is on his mind.
Children must have such a situation on the way to growth, parents sometimes don't be too anxious, know how to use their children's friends to understand the situation
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If there is a generation gap between children and their parents, they dare not tell their parents what is on their minds, and parents can be patient. There are some clues that can tell what is bothering the child. Whether he has been bullied by others, or has encountered any setbacks, he must let the child say it, the child is still young and immature, and he can't solve it by himself, and his parents should help him guide and share.
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This is something that needs to be communicated to the child, that is, when the child needs something. Parents should actually observe, and then ask in an inquiring tone if this is the case, and then the child may say it.
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Generally, children may be scolded by their parents, so they dare not tell their parents what is on their minds, for fear that as soon as they say it, then their parents will scold themselves. Create a bad image.
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Hello, the child is reluctant to say something on his mind, so he should actively enlighten the child, communicate more with the child, and let the child say what is in his heart.
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At this time, you can find his good friend, let his good friend guide him, talk out his concerns, so that he will tell his good friend about everything, and then let his good friend tell you.
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When the child reaches a certain age, he will dare not reveal his thoughts to his parents, and parents should not blindly inquire, but still be friends with him, let him take the initiative to confide in his heart, and guide him correctly.
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If the child refuses to say what is on his mind, it means that you are not his confidant, you have to be his friend, like a friend, they can tell you what is on their mind.
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If the child is reluctant to talk about something, if it is like this with his parents, but he can also open up with his classmates, so that I think it will be easier for him to explain things clearly.
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Then don't force it first, and pay careful attention to the child's movements. Communicate with your child and tell him that he can speak up when he is uncomfortable, and we will accompany you with words like this, hoping to help you.
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Many parents hold a shelf, put themselves in a high position, and often communicate with their children with a posture of "you don't understand, listen to me", "I am Lao Tzu or you are Lao Tzu", and do not allow children to refute or refuse. This kind of commanding communication is actually giving orders in disguise, and the child will naturally be unconvinced, and over time, the child will not take what the parents say to the child, and will not be willing to communicate with the parents.
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If the child refuses to say something, what to do, if he doesn't dare to say it, he must communicate with him, that is, through some special channels, let him say what is in his heart.
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If the child refuses to say something, what should I do, then you have to guide him slowly, he must say it, and if you hold it in your heart, it will be easy to get sick.
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Be kind and enlightening.
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Talk to your child, talk about it well, and when it makes sense, he will tell you what is on his mind, and then you are teaching him how to solve it.
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The child has something on his mind and does not tell his parents. Just because I told my parents. Parents don't think it's a big deal? With a look of reckoning. In this case, the child has something on his mind. How can you tell your parents?
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Because children are afraid of being scolded by their parents when they say it, especially some of the things they think in their hearts, they just say it to their peers, which is a generation gap in understanding.
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The main reason why children don't tell their parents is that they are afraid that their parents will know about the criticism, and adolescent children are ignorant, and many things are non-compliant in the eyes of their parents, which leads to children's fear.
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When I was young, I had no heart and lungs, and I told adults about everything at any time, and as I got older, I gradually had my own thoughts. At this time, many children are reluctant to tell their parents about these things, even if the parents are the closest people to them, but the relationship between children and parents is no longer something to talk about. When did you start having a heart?
One. As you get older, it's normal to have something on your mind!
If one day your parents suddenly find out that you have your own little secret, and do not choose to confide in them, you may be more sad, feel that your relationship is estranged, but this is actually a normal phenomenon, in their eyes no matter how old you are, in the eyes of your parents are children, but after all, you are always an independent individual, in the process of growing up, you will have your own thoughts, and you will also have your own different views and views on things, whether it is between classmates and friends or other aspects of life, It's normal to start having something on your mind, and it's also a sign of your mental maturity!
Two. If you have something on your mind, what about telling your parents?
There are three main reasons why children are reluctant to tell their parentsCause. The first reason is that there is a big age gap between them, as the saying goes, three years old is a generation gap, and the generation gap between parents and children is still very deep, and they may not be able to find the same topic slowly, and feel that there are fewer and fewer things to talk about, so they are reluctant to talk too much about their hearts with their parents. The second reason is that the idea is different, the same thing, your views and parents' views may not be the same, if two people have the same views, this time can actually help you solve your heart, but also promote the relationship with your parents, if you have different views on things, not only can not play a role in solving the problem at this time, and may even have conflicts and quarrels.
The third is that there is never anything that can empathize, even if it is your parents, the people closest to you in this world, but the sadness hidden in your heart, or the knot in your heart, they may not be able to understand, this is the sentence, there is no real empathy in the world. Therefore, too many children choose to hide their hearts and digest them slowly.
Three. I don't want my parents to worry!
In my personal opinion, I think there are things on my mind, and most of them are not particularly good things! Happy things, we are very willing to share with others, but bad things, for the kind of children who like to report good news and not bad news, they will take the initiative to hide these bad things, digest them by themselves, and do not let the parents at home worry, I said that this situation shows that the child is very independent and sensible character.
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1.Treat emotions with double standards. After something happens to the child, the reason why I don't want to tell the parents is because the parents always can't control their emotions in the process of talking to the children about certain things, for example, for a certain thing, the parents are educating the children, and the parents' emotions are very excited, and the children's emotions have become excited.
Parents are double standards when dealing with emotions, and once something happens, children will worry that their parents will also have double standards when dealing with this matter, so they naturally don't want to talk to their parents.
2.Objecting to the child taking the initiative to end the conversation. After something happens to the child, the reason why he doesn't want to talk to the parents is because in the process of talking to the parents, some things are almost the same as the parents' preaching, and the children want to take the initiative to end the conversation with the parents, but at this time, the parents take a parental posture and do not let the child take the initiative to end the conversation, and it is particularly unreasonable to accuse the child of unfilial piety.
Once something happens to children, they are naturally reluctant to tell their parents.
3.Don't take your child's worries seriously. After something happens to the child, the reason why he doesn't want to talk to the parents is because if the child encounters some troublesome things at ordinary times, at this time to tell the parents, the parents do not take the child's troubles seriously, thinking that a child can have any troubles, and will think that the child's troubles are forced to say that after a long time, the child will think that his thoughts are not important, his own things are not important, even if something happens, he is not willing to talk to his parents.
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