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Second child. What to do if you regret it Yueyue and her husband are only children, and they know that they are too lonely to grow up alone, and they hope that their children can have a companion, but they are worried that they will not be able to take care of another child, or that there will be a big treasure.
The situation of bullying Xiaobao.
So I ran to ask my good friends around me, who knew that the answer I got was that I wanted to give birth, and some people said that I should not give birth, each with its own opinion, and Yueyue could only continue to worry.
In fact, I don't have a second baby.
It still depends on your actual situation, if you really want to have a second child, those economic conditions and family factors are not a problem; If you don't want to give birth, then these factors will bother you.
I don't know if you are worried about having a second child? Let's take a look at what those mothers who have given birth to a second child say, their experiences, maybe you have a number in your heart.
1.The child was born, but there was no one to take it.
My eldest is already in elementary school, the youngest is only 3 years old this year, my husband is on a business trip all the year round because of the nature of work, and I have to take care of the children at work, although I am just 30 years old, but the people around me think that I am 40 years old.
The old man is not in good health, the child is taken care of by me alone from birth to the present, I can only hide in the corner and cry when I am most tired, and now it is too late to regret it, neither give the boss enough love, nor take care of the old and young.
2.The second child is still a daughter, and she is disliked by her mother-in-law's family.
Dabao is a daughter, and when I was confined, my mother-in-law was unhappy and asked me to raise another boy quickly. Dabao grew to a year old, my mother-in-law and their family asked me to have a second child, so I had no choice but to recreate with my husband, and it turned out to be a daughter again.
The two children belong to no one to bring, no matter how much regret it is useless, it is worth it to suffer for the sake of the children.
3.Giving birth to a second child, there is a companion between the children.
Although I know that having a child, whether it is money or energy, you can save a lot of things, the reason why my husband and I chose to have a second child is because my mother was sick and hospitalized before, and I helped take care of it with my sister, and solved any problems together and supported each other. So to send a word, if the mother can still give birth, hurry up and give birth, and your child will suffer a lot less in the future.
4.First bitter and then sweet.
When I gave birth to my second child, the family conditions were not good, but I was unwilling to have only one son, and I discussed it with my husband for a long time, and finally gave birth.
After giving birth to the second child, I only knew how tired I was, and I could only take the two children alone, Xiaobao's health was not good, and I went to the hospital for three days, but fortunately, everything survived, as the child grew up, the eldest went to school, and the second child's body got better. Two children around you, giggling, that kind of happiness can only be known when you experience it.
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Nowadays, many younger women have begun to prepare for a second child, or even have a second child, not only because people like children, but also because they want to have a companion for the children in the family. So what should I do if I regret being pregnant with a second child?
If you regret having a second child, you must think about it carefully, whether the family situation allows you to have a second child, whether there is anyone to help take care of the child after giving birth to a second child, if not, then you must think clearly, the best way is to beat the fetus when the child is still relatively young, so as to avoid affecting the future life after giving birth to the fetus.
If it is more difficult to bring the eldest child, or even has a great impact on your physical and mental health, then it is best not to have a second child, because when you give birth to a second child, you will be older than when you have a second child, so it will have some impact on your health when you give birth.
It is recommended that women should think carefully when preparing to conceive a second child, and only after thinking clearly is the best way to get pregnant, you can avoid the situation of ** after pregnancy, and you can also avoid a lot of unnecessary troubles. Because after all, a second child is also a life, and it is best not to deprive a small life casually.
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Don't regret it, people always have times when they are depressed, maybe because of one person, maybe because of one thing, people can't let go for a long time. When you feel like you're getting stuck with some issues, you might want to try the following methods, which may help.
1. Divert attention.
When the person's mood is at a low ebb, he is not interested in anything and always thinks about unhappy things. So, in order to get rid of this emotion, you should first let yourself not always think about these problems, divert your attention, and go to some recreational activities. Learn to take a few deep breaths and try to calm yourself down, and then talk to your most trusted friend later.
If you don't want people to know, you can turn up the volume of the TV, shout or scold the person, or go outside to take a walk, forget about the unpleasantness for a while, or let yourself do more work, listen to **, divert your attention, etc.;
2. Learn to be tolerant.
Tolerance is a virtue, a salvation for those who make mistakes, and a sublimation of one's own heart. Don't always think about how the other person has offended you and how much damage they have done you. Think about whether the other person is worth asking you to be angry, is he intentional or unintentional?
To give the other party a chance is to give yourself a chance, and for some people, forgiveness is far more effective than punishment. Maybe it's just a momentary mistake, maybe it's just a fleeting thought. There are always times when people make mistakes, so don't be too people.
Don't always think that the country is easy to change, and the nature is difficult to change. Sometimes, as long as you have faith, you can change, and you have to look at others with a developmental eye.
3. Contentment and happiness.
The suffering you are suffering now is not meaningless. We cannot avoid the many sufferings we will encounter in our lifetime. Pain can make people decadent, but it can also stimulate people's fighting spirit, hone people's will, and make people not easily defeated by difficulties.
Every former Ziga person has shortcomings, and everything has shortcomings. If you want to make yourself happy, you must first make yourself less extreme, don't drill the horns, don't always be dissatisfied with reality, and don't always compare with others. Your life should have your wonderful.
4. Learn to control yourself.
Good and evil are only momentary thoughts, and there is no need to panic about the existence of evil thoughts. Human thoughts are complex, not only good thoughts, sometimes evil thoughts can also help people vent their dissatisfaction. For example, if you are bullied, you can imagine that you will beat him up, which is okay, the key is to control your evil thoughts and let it not influence your behavior.
Therefore, evil thoughts are not terrible, as long as they are used properly, they can help people relieve stress.
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Everyone feels that since they have a second child, they must be fair to the two children. has never really raised two children, and it is difficult to understand the situation of a second-child couple.
Many mothers sent private messages to Sugar Mom, saying that the reason why they didn't dare to leave Erbao was because they were afraid that they would love Dabao too much, and they ignored Erbao and secretly swore that they must be completely fair.
But there will always be some obstacles in the process, and in the end, it is Dabao who is often wronged after Erbao is born.
The boy rented a father to see a teacher, and the reason was related to his mother's preference.
Su Qing's eldest son, when the teacher asked to meet his parents, "rented" a father outside. Just as the teacher was communicating with the "fake father", Su Qing rushed over to see the child bump into him.
The teacher was still lamenting that it was not easy to see the husband's parents present. The next scene was very embarrassing, Su Qing had already seen his son's tricks, but he didn't expose the lie in front of the teacher.
After leaving the teacher's office, the mother and son finally couldn't bear to quarrel outside, and they didn't know who to stand on for a while.
The boy questioned his mother's eccentricity for her second-born brother, and the mother collapsed and explained.
Su Qing didn't understand why his son became like this, but when educating the husband, the husband asked "What qualifications do you have to care about me", and said that his mother didn't debunk him in front of the teacher, it was just a hypocritical choice.
After being slapped by his mother, Xiaofu lamented that his mother may not be partial, but he has too little time, so he can only give time to his younger brother who performs better. And I can only wait for my mother to pick me up when I am in trouble.
Su Qing, who has always emphasized that he is not partial, can't explain anything in the face of Xiaofu's words.
People who don't have children may think that the drama is exaggerated when they see this scene. But most second-child families will sigh that this is all too true. The second-child family in life may be even more sad than this.
However, sometimes the bias we see in second-child families is not necessarily the fault of parents, they are also out of helplessness.
A two-child family is "difficult to level a bowl of water"? These three situations are often obstacles.
The first and second children are all meat that fell from the mother's body, and the mother can't see any child being wronged. The same is true for Sugar Mom, who has been trying to treat her two children with "a bowl of water". Rot.
But how can there be so much smooth sailing in raising a baby? Summarize the private messages sent by the couple with two children, and my own experience with two babies. The sugar mother found that the reason why it is difficult to achieve absolute fairness in a second-child family is related to the following 3 things.
Parents' "fairness" is not what children want.
The word "fairness" is understood differently by every parent and every child. Many parents think that it is fair to let their two children eat more than they eat and more pocket money, but their children do not think so.
For the two children with the second child, what they want is to get the same attention and protection as each other, and hope to get the same "love".
The family is partial, and one person's strength cannot be completely fair.
Sugar mother has encountered many examples, Bao Ma usually works hard to maintain the "fairness" between the second child, but the family is partial. For example, he is patriarchal, and he always emphasizes to Dabao to let Erbao go.
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With the second child, the boss's life is a mess, the work and rest are irregular, the meals are irregular, there are too many scoldings, too many reprimands, and the boss has become insecure, the gap in his heart is too big, sometimes he can't bear to look at his own lonely back, he looks at his mobile phone alone, runs alone, plays alone, not because of the second child to divide half of the love to the second child, nor does it force the boss to grow up overnight, forcing him to grow up sensible, he is also a six-year-old child, and he is also a baby, but sometimes he lacks skills, and the boss will ask for a hug, I want to pay attention to him for a while, I will say that I don't love him anymore, and I will ask my mother who she loves the most, after all, a 6-year-old child suddenly has a little sister in his life, in fact, he feels quite guilty. Although naughty but sometimes sensible distress, I can't go out and I can't play with him, he especially hopes that his mother will accompany him, so he can't wait to stick to me every minute when eating, sleep and do homework to find me, even if I breastfeed next to me, even if it will be for a while, for me the palms and backs of my hands are meat, all my own flesh and bones, I really inadvertently ignore the boss, I feel very uncomfortable!
Even so, the boss is still very warm, and when my sister cries, she says Mom, you hurry up and coax your sister, Mom, you are the hardest, Mom, I will be obedient and take good care of you, occasionally I see me holding my little sister, he said Mom, you hug me! Mom will give you the same love as much as possible, even if this road has to pay a lot and many times harder. But the reward is also double the happiness and sense of achievement, I never regret giving birth to you, having a second child is not because I have time and money, but there is a kind of love called brotherhood, life is very bitter only you are the sweetest!
In a short life, the strong brother and sister relationship, this world has you with you for a lifetime, which is the most precious and happiest thing!
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