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The influence of the original family on people cannot be eliminated, and we need to learn to accept our past and everything we have. Or turn it into motivation. The personality is formed around the age of 18 and is stable.
Before the age of 18, the most affected is the family of origin, so these influences will accompany people for a lifetime. Don't be disgusted with these, positive psychology and cognitivism are all about acceptance, that is, to accept happily, only by not resisting to accept these, can you get rid of the resistance in your heart. In the same way, psychoanalysis requires that the subconscious repressed emotions be brought back into the jurisdiction of the conscious, that is, that is, the person is required to accept his past and his repressed emotions.
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Psychology: 5 steps to make up for the psychological defects brought about by the family of origin and make you strong.
Many people have suffered from childhood trauma, and some of the defects that developed in the family of origin are still deeply troubled in adulthood. However, the negative effects of the family of origin are not irreversible. Today we are going to talk about the influence of the family of origin.
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Read more books on psychology, learn more about the living conditions and thoughts of all kinds of people, only by improving their ideological realm and life experience, becoming strong in their hearts, and becoming mature in their thoughts, can they figure out some things, and psychological problems can be slowly improved.
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You need to constantly adjust yourself, 5 steps to make up for the psychological defects brought by your original family, and make you strong:
1.A deep, protracted self-debate.
For example, a person who feels inferior can list "my husband and children love me, and my colleagues have a good opinion of me" to prove that he has many advantages.
2.Express grievances and sorrow about the trauma.
By imagining a conversation with a parent or writing a letter that you don't send, let the hurt child vent her hurt anger and grief. At the same time, we can also feel the unfulfilled desires of our childhood, and let our current capable self realize it.
3.Change specific behaviors or circumstances to break the old way of coping with bad thinking.
Start by changing your behavior and try to behave healthily in your existing environment. Make a list of actions that you are not happy with, and when you realize that you are doing them again, you will tell yourself to stop, and then after reflection, take a healthier way of doing things that are not what you are used to.
4.Achieve self-independence.
Research shows that parents change their expectations of their children as they move on to a new life course. Being away from home can be the most significant change in a child's early relationship with their parents, as spatial distance will make parents less emotionally dependent on their children, and academic or career success will also reduce parents' sense of control over their children to a certain extent.
5.Stop expecting and look down on real parents.
After trying to communicate to no avail, stop expecting unrealistic expectations from your parents, such as not waiting for them to wake up or apologize. Acknowledge that their thinking is limited and may not be able to comprehend the harm that has been done to you and continues to be to this day. You can choose to forgive or not, but you don't need to take your parents' faults on yourself.
Perhaps, you will see more real parents and see their good qualities because of this.
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The psychological problems caused by the family of origin include a lack of security and a relatively low sense of self-worth.
1. Lack of love and security in the heart.
If a child does not receive enough love and attention from his parents in his family of origin, he will be very insecure and insecure.
When he grows up, it will be difficult for him to trust others. When he needs help from others, he will not trust that someone will help him. In an intimate relationship, when others want to be close to him, he will worry that he will be hurt, he will easily suffer from gains and losses in love, he will often worry that the other party will betray him and abandon him, and once he falls in love with the other person, he may love very humblely.
2. The sense of self-identity and value is relatively low.
If parents in the family of origin often deny, criticize, and scold their children, for example, parents always scold their children at home for being "stupid", "lazy", "stupid", etc., then the child may become very inferior, and his sense of self-identity and value will be relatively low.
For example, he will often feel very dissatisfied with himself, and he will feel that he is not sure of success in his studies and work. Sometimes even if he does a good job, he will always doubt his abilities.
Ways to improve psychological problems
Explore family relationships of origin.
Understand how the family system interacts, how the flow of power affects you, and then understand that your choices and actions are closely related to your parents' emotions and behaviors.
Be aware of and express your inner feelings.
Sorting out your personal state is the key to helping you establish where you are and where you want to go. But it does not mean that you need to express it immediately, because expression may be dangerous, so in the process of repeated awareness and practice, you can help the case rehearse what kind of situation is the direction you want.
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The family of origin will lead to a series of psychological problems such as perfectionism and excessive high pressure in children.
Your parents have always forced you to do more than you can do, and people who grow up in this kind of family are anxious and compulsive. It is also anxious and nervous to do it, and if you can't do it, you will feel inferior and depressed.
He can't make mistakes, he does this to himself, and he does this to his lover and children, which will hurt the relationship between husband and wife and parent-child. Perfectionist people don't know how to be grateful, and no matter how much you do, she will feel that she deserves it. This mode of getting along is very unhealthy, and it may affect your future life, so I hope you can adjust it in time.
Repression and coddling
You are not allowed to say anything, only they say. He is the only one in this family, and there is no one to say it, because in this way you have done many things that you are not willing to do. Extroverts, who are under high pressure, will rebel, and if parents continue to be high-pressure, children may behave deviantly when they grow up.
Defend yourself with stubbornness, use it to fight, overreact in terms of independence.
Always ask you to do things that you know you can't do, but in fact do it according to your heart. The spoiled child is willful and has means, and when he hears his parents say he can't, he will do it, and his parents will give it. Self-centered, more from their own point of view.
A doted child is empty inside. I often use anger to control others, so there is a lot of anger.
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The purpose of severing one's relationship (also known as cutting one's love or leaving one's father) is to free an individual from the negative influences of his or her family of origin so that he or she can grow and develop better. However, breaking off relatives is not a panacea for the misfortune of the family of origin, and its effects vary from person to person, and there are many factors to consider.
First of all, the disconnection itself can cause a certain amount of psychological trauma and suffering, especially if there is not enough support and guidance. Circumcision can make individuals feel lonely and abandoned, and may even cause some people to behave in self-deprecating and self-punishing behaviors.
Secondly, severing one's relatives does not eliminate one's family of origin problems, but only cuts off ties with one's loved ones. In addition to this factor, individuals may also need psychological** or other forms of help to deal with past hurts and emotional issues, as well as how to cope with future challenges.
Additionally, severance can lead to more conflict and tension between family members, especially if severance is seen as undermining the integrity of the family. In this case, family members may feel sad and angry, which can exacerbate the original problem.
To sum up, breaking off relatives is not the only or ideal choice for the unhappiness of the original family. If you're not sure whether you should cut your love, you can seek professional advice and guidance to help you make the best decision.
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Family of origin refers to the family environment in which an individual lives from birth to pre-puberty, which has an important impact on the growth and development of children. If there is a problem in the family of origin, the child may be adversely affected, such as anxiety, depression, low self-esteem and other psychological problems. Some people believe that severing relatives can be the misfortune of the original family, but is this practice scientific and effective?
First of all, severing relatives is not the only way to solve the problem of the family of origin. The problems of the family of origin can be solved through a variety of methods such as psychology, counseling, and family. These methods can help individuals understand the root causes of the problems of the original family and adjust their attitudes and behaviors to better adapt to life.
Second, severing one's relatives does not necessarily solve the problems of the family of origin, and may even lead to more problems. Breaking off a family can make an individual feel lonely and lost, and even bring more psychological problems. In addition, the loss of a family may also affect an individual's physical and mental health, increasing the risk of disease.
Third, disconnection may also have a negative impact on the family. The family is an interconnected system, and each member has an impact on the system as a whole. If one member leaves the family, it may upset the balance and stability of the family, affecting the mental health and lives of other members.
Therefore, severing one's relatives is not the best way to solve the problem of the family of origin. On the contrary, we should adopt a more scientific and effective approach to solve the problem of the family of origin. If you feel that the problems of your family of origin have a greater impact on you, you can consider seeking professional psychological or family help.
In the process, you can learn better ways to deal with it and adjust your thoughts and behaviors so that you can better adapt to life. At the same time, we should also respect the existence and role of the family, and strive to create a harmonious and stable family environment to create a better life for each family member.
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Psychological problems caused by the misfortune of the family of origin is a complex process that requires time and professional support. Here are some suggestions:
Seek counseling or: A professional counsellor or psychologist can provide a customized plan for your individual situation. They can help you explore and understand the impact of your family of origin on your mental health and provide appropriate support and guidance.
Self-reflection and cognitive reconstruction: Through self-reflection, understand and recognize the pain and problems in your heart, and identify unhealthy thinking patterns and behavioral habits. Gradually changing these patterns and cultivating positive cognition and self-worth can help rebuild a healthy state of mind.
Build a support network: Share your feelings and experiences with close friends, partners, or other trusted people. Finding a support network can provide emotional support and understanding to help you feel accepted and supported.
Mending relationships: Building good communication and intimacy with members of your original family can take time and effort. But with positive efforts, an open mind, and possible compromises, efforts can be made to improve and repair relationships and build healthier intimate connections.
Develop self-care and self-care habits: Value your physical and mental health, including good sleep, diet, exercise, and relaxation techniques. Find ways to reduce stress, relax, and build positive self-care habits.
Accept the past and let go of it: Past hurts and misfortunes cannot be changed, but you can choose to accept the past and learn to let go of the pain and resentment of the past. Focus on the present and the future, develop a positive mindset and develop personal growth.
Keep in mind that everyone's situation is unique, and if you're experiencing severe psychological distress or can't cope on your own, it's wise to seek professional help. A professional mental health professional can provide you with personalized support and a plan for your flexion.
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How do you say it, how happy you are now.
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Severed affiliation"It refers to severing or reducing contact with registered relatives, including parents, siblings, etc. In some cases, the loss of relatives may bring certain short-term effects, such as relieving tensions with relatives and reducing the influence of relatives on themselves, but it does not lead to the misfortune of the original family.
The family of origin refers to the family environment in which a person grows up, including the roles, relationships, and interaction patterns of family members. The misfortunes of the family of origin may include the divorce of parents, domestic violence, mental illness, addiction to drugs, etc., which can have a negative impact on the child's mental health. If a child does not receive the love, support, and security they deserve as they grow up, it can lead to trauma and psychological problems.
The misfortune of the original family requires systematic psychological counseling and support, including individual psychology, family, group, etc. These methods can help individuals better understand and face their own emotional problems, enhance self-awareness and emotional regulation ability, and improve the relationship with family members, so as to achieve the best results.
Breaking off a family may ease tensions with loved ones, but it can also lead to long-term negative reputations such as loneliness, anxiety, depression, etc. Therefore, extreme measures such as severing relatives should not be taken lightly, but under the guidance of professional psychologists, we should choose appropriate methods, actively face the misfortune of the original family, and strive to improve our mental health and interpersonal relationships.
The family of origin hurts a child a lot.
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