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I have had the same trouble with you before, this matter is not clear in one sentence or two, I suggest you read Li Zhongying's "Comprehensive Skills for Parent-Child Relationship", the content is not much, concise, practical, I have benefited a lot in it, I hope it can also solve your doubts a little!
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I think first of all, we should understand the child's inner world, know what the child thinks, and secondly, understand some of the child's actions outside or at school, so that we can communicate with the child.
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If there is a conflict, it should be resolved in time, or the child will have withdrawn syndrome after a long time, so that you should talk to the child in the tone of a friend, not in the tone of a parent, so that you can build trust.
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Pay more attention to it and make him trust you so that he can communicate with you.
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Parents understand their children:
Children's current work is boring and boring, not what they want, but they have to accept what they don't want to do, it's painful, they are playful by nature, and it's not necessary for parents to be angry with them? You have to educate them in a rational and scientific way, and you have to correct the mistakes made by the children immediately, and at the same time, you don't blindly blame the children who are still young, and the children who don't make mistakes are not normal.
Communicate. You need to communicate your conflicts in a timely manner, and don't wait until you can't communicate to find a way to deal with them.
It was already too late, and if you want to deal with the generation gap between the two sides reasonably, you have to understand each other's difficulties.
Maintain a good attitude to always be empathetic.
Parents can't force their children to study, when they are tired of learning, take them out to relax, and let themselves relax, and when they are happy, you can talk to your children, because when they are playing, children may be more receptive to your opinions, and they can also relax their resistance to parents.
Children can also give advice to their parents if their management is too mechanical and too demanding of their own learning.
What kind of management style is more suitable for you What kind of goals do you set for learning?
In this way, children and parents have good communication habits in order to deal with conflicts in a harmonious manner.
When children encounter something new or interesting, share it with their parents, and let them know something about it, which can reduce problems in communication later on.
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Communicate with your children more, especially on an equal footing, and treat them as friends!
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1. Respect children and communicate calmly with them.
When a mother gets along with her 20-year-old son, she should know how to respect her child, who is young and vigorous, and pays the most attention to image and dignity.
If the mother always reprimands and complains about her son's inappropriate behavior regardless of the occasion and time, it will cause the child to be disgusted. They are irritable and will quarrel with their parents.
When there are resentments between each other, communication will not go smoothly.
Therefore, it is necessary to learn to respect children, leave dignity for children, and communicate with children calmly.
2. Give your child affirmation and let go so that your child can learn to grow independently.
When mothers get along with their children, they should not blindly deny their children, but learn to affirm their achievements and their ability to do things.
No matter how well the child does well, let him do it by himself, don't interfere in the child's work, and let him grow up independently in difficulties.
Don't help your child because he can't do something well, or deny his ability outright, which will have a negative impact on your child.
3. Understand the sense of boundaries and get along with children and know how to be measured.
When a mother gets along with her 20-year-old son, she must understand the sense of boundary between two people, and know that there are some things that you can't interfere in, because the child grows up and has the ability to behave in the world.
He should let him do his own things, so that he can grow independently, break out of his own small world in society, and be a responsible person.
If the mother does not know how to get along with the child, the child will feel that he is not free and wants to run away.
4. Do not interfere with the child's privacy, so that he has a private royal pants secret space.
20-year-olds have their own little secrets, they are not like children, they chase after their parents to discuss problems with their parents, and they do not need their parents to answer their questions.
They want freedom, they want private space, they want to hide their secrets.
At this time, the mother should not always chase the child and ask questions, let alone secretly open his little secret, which makes the child think that he is an adult, but he is not respected, and he wants to escape from the mother's control.
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1.Listening: When communicating with your child, give them full attention and listen patiently to their thoughts and feelings. This shows that you respect them, and it also helps to understand their needs and concerns.
2.Be patient: Be patient and calm when communicating with your child. Avoid impulsive reactions because of emotional agitation.
3.Use simple, clear language: Communicate with your child in simple, clear language that will help them understand your intentions and avoid misunderstandings.
4.Maintain eye contact: When communicating with your child, maintain a moderate amount of eye contact, which can enhance communication and make your child feel your attention.
5.Encourage your child to express themselves: Encouraging your child to express their thoughts and feelings will give you a better understanding of their needs and will also help them develop their communication skills.
6.Lead by example: As a parent, your words and actions have a big impact on your child. Be a role model for children to learn and communicate.
7.Get involved: Participate in your child's activities and interests, and have a great time with them. This helps to build a parent-child relationship and is also a good opportunity for communication.
8.Giving Affirmation and Support at the Right Time: Giving recognition and support to your child's efforts and achievements can help boost their self-confidence and also help to establish a good communication environment.
9.Be open-minded: Be open to your child's ideas and perspectives and respect their opinions. This helps build trust and makes communication smoother.
10.Show concern at the right time: When appropriate, show care and love to your child, which can help strengthen the parent-child relationship and make your child feel the warmth of family.
Through these methods, you can better communicate with your child and create a healthy family environment for their growth and development.
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How to communicate better with children, children in the process of growth can not be separated from the care of family members, in the process of baby growth, the healthy growth of babies is inseparable from the patient teaching of parents, so that children learn to be independent, the following is how to communicate with children better methods.
1. Be sure to communicate with your children on an equal footing, and you must not be condescending, or even not always understand that your children have matured and grown up, which may make your children feel that there is no way to communicate and communicate with their parents, or even feel that their parents cannot understand themselves.
2. Be more tolerant and patient, especially when the child already has a sense of independence, be more tolerant of the child's thoughts, and then let the child express himself bravely and have more opportunities to express it.
3. Also use skills to communicate and communicate with children to effectively alleviate the problem of poor communication, such as giving children more opportunities to express, and at the same time giving more affirmation to children's opinions and suggestions, encouraging children to have their own ideas, and when children have some very good ideas, we must encourage children to do it bravely, rather than always giving children cold water.
The attitude towards children should be positive rather than negative
In the process of communicating with children, we do not mean that the face is particularly yin, but should be full of sunshine, which is the so-called attitude. Be proactive and proactive in communicating with your child.
Talk to your child on an equal footing
Maybe many adults will think that I am his parent, and you will do whatever I say. In fact, when communicating, we should put down our bodies and imagine that we are in an equal relationship with him, so that the child will feel that he has something to say to you.
Don't use a commanding tone, but a consultative tone
Usually many parents are commanding and always feel that what they say is good for their children. However, the process of communication requires both parties to be in a discussion environment, rather than a one-word approach.
1. Talk to your child about his hobbies.
When the child talks about his hobbies (future goals, dreams), parents need to show some enthusiasm and support. Suppose yours'Your child is interested in art and painting, but you yourself prefer sports, so try to keep an open mind and talk to him about art and painting, and talk more about topics that your child is interested in.
2. Arrange time for family chats or interactions.
All children need to feel part of the family and feel self-worthy. Arrange time to do interactive activities with your family, such as watching movies, hiking, dinners, traveling, etc. After-dinner chit-chat is a great way to interact and allow family members to talk about what happened during the day.
Engaging children in casual small talk will help parents get to know them.
3. Maintain a patient listening attitude.
Compared with their parents' comments and lectures, adolescents expect their parents to listen to them patiently, with an understanding and accepting attitude. In family relationships, parents should maintain patience and kindness in listening, so that children can have the confidence and courage to share and communicate.
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I think as a parent in this situation, you must communicate more with your daughter, try to respect and understand them seriously, and then educate and guide them in the right way, so that they can grow up healthier.
Therefore, it is very important to communicate with children in the right way, and the following points can help us:
1. Maintain self-confidence.
Communication.
No matter who the other party is, we must first maintain self-confidence, do not be unconfident, whether it is words or deeds that look submissive, which is not conducive to communication, so we must behave generously and decently, and be confident between the lines when we talk, so that we are half the success of the communication.
2. The tone is euphemistic but in one sentence.
When communicating, we can be straightforward about our intentions, but try to be tactful. Remember to go around and around, no one will like this, you must say your own opinions in a word, go straight to the point is conducive to our Lu Lu to improve the efficiency of doing things, and the other party will also save a lot of time.
3. It is important to learn to communicate patiently.
Be patient in communication and don't show that you're tired of writing. If you really don't like to hear it, you must know how to avoid it skillfully and politely. In this way, you can also take into account the feelings of others.
4. Communication should be maintained in a measured manner.
If the other party is a person with a strong personality, it is likely that the spicy communication will not be smooth enough in the process of communication, at this time, you must know how to maintain a degree of advance and retreat, overcome rigidity with softness, and slowly persuade him.
5. Communication should be done to know oneself and the other.
No matter who we communicate with, we must have an in-depth understanding of each other in advance, so that it is easier and easier to talk, if we don't even know who the person we are communicating with, then how can we communicate more smoothly and happily, and sincerely.
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The way to communicate and communicate better with your child is: don't compare your child with someone else's home; Timely psychological counseling; Parents should set some rules for their children's behavior; Teach him to care for others, and so on.
1. Don't compare your children with other people's homes.
The most important thing in educating rebellious children is not to compare them with other people's children. This is very hurtful to self-esteem. Every child has their own sparkle and envy, and similarly, every child has their own shortcomings.
You should praise your child a lot to make them more confident.
2. Conduct psychological counseling in a timely manner.
Children are particularly rebellious and disobedient, and all kinds of rebellious behaviors are actually an external reflection of children's rebellious psychology. Children's rebellion is often a deviation in psychological cognition, which will lead to the occurrence of rebellious behavior. Parents and teachers should have heart-to-heart talks with their children in a timely manner, help them with psychological counseling, correct their rebellious psychology, and help them get back to the right road.
3. Parents should set some rules for their children's behavior.
Let them establish a sense of rules from an early age, so that they can better adapt to school and social life in the future. There are many ways to set rules, first of all, parents should be a good example, if parents are a person with rules, children will be influenced by the good, and they will naturally become people with rules.
Secondly, parents' oral education should not be less, and parents should teach their children the rules of doing things anytime and anywhere, so that children have a sense of correct behavior.
4. Teach him to care for others.
Happy children need to be able to feel themselves, to have some meaningful connection with others, to understand what they mean to others. To develop this feeling can help them to engage more with others.
Parents can sort out some old toys with their child and donate them to charity to help homeless children. Because even at a very young age, children can feel joy in helping others.
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It's been a long time since I didn't communicate with people.
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14 How to communicate effectively with your child.