What is the book Rules and Love ?

The book "Rules and Love" is written by Dr. Wang Tao of Harvard University, one of the experts of Gymboree Early Education Center.

In this book, Dr. Wang Tao explains to young parents how to embody the discipline of love and the love of discipline, how to communicate correctly with the baby, and how to care for the development of the baby's emotional intelligence.

Dr. Wang Tao believes that growing up in love without rules makes children lose gratitude; Growing up in the rules without love, children learn to have low self-esteem; Growing up without rules and without love, the child loses his awe; Growing up with discipline and love, children learn to be humble and confident.

Dr. Wang Tao will go to all parts of the country every year to carry out parenting lectures, the 2013 tour lecture is being carried out in various places, and will soon come to Shenzhen, parents who are interested in the lecture can pay attention to the latest news of Gymboree Shenzhen Early Education Center.

Many of my friends recommended me to read this book and said it was very good!

Is it the book written by Harvard Ph.D. Wang Tao?

The year before last, I listened to his lecture in Shenzhen, which was about establishing rules for children, and it was very good, and then he came out with this book, which I also bought, and the book was more detailed than what he talked about in the lecture.

The book shares several principles of parenthood, analyzes the advantages and disadvantages of different ways for parents to educate their children, and how fathers and mothers play the role of family education, such as whether to hit children, how to make it meaningful, how to establish rules for children to eat, sleep, and play, etc. I feel that it is much more real than those empty truths and scientific bases or something, and they are all problems that will be encountered in teaching children at home.

However, the guidance provided in the book to educate children requires patience to see the effect after implementation.

Guo Yingying, the focus team of the Central Plains, insisted on sharing the 852nd day, the 333rd consultation, the 537th day of "Yue" reading and check-in, the 376th day of basic language exercises, and the 98th fitness check-in (rules and love).

The real rules are the rules that embody love, and the real love is the first to love with the rules. Make rules to do:

1.The rules must be established early. Respecting a child's nature does not mean condoning a child's bad behavior.

2.Set rules for children, we must be firm in our hearts. Hesitant mentality, setting rules usually ends in failure.

3.When a child's behavior is detrimental to their own health, habits, personality development, or causes distress to others, the behavior must be regulated.

4.When making rules, it is best to involve children and discuss them with them. Hidden children will have a sense of participation and decision-making, rather than being forced to obey, and will be more willing to comply.

5.The rules should be specific and clear, and in a language that the child can understand, make it clear to him: why the key is making this rule, what is the effect, and what are the consequences of breaking the rules.

6.Set rules for children, we must set a good example, be consistent with words and deeds, be more respected by children, and bring positive influence to children through personal demonstration.

7.The family negotiates and communicates well in private, clarifies the rules of the family, and stands on the united front.

Today, I finished reading "Rules and Love": Successful education is the combination of rules and love, the real rules are the rules that embody love, the real love is the love with rules, and the rules and love are inseparable.

How to love children needs to be learned, how to set rules for children, and more needs to be learned.

What impressed me the most in this book was the story of Mundy taming the horse at the end of the article, and he showed us the educational art of rules and love.

The traditional method of taming horses is to use violence and cruelty, and to blindly use strict rules, such training can also change behavior, but such behavior change comes at the cost of trauma to the horse's soul.

And through the method of communication, the rules are established by building love and trust, so that the horse willingly accepts the rules on his own. Love allows rules to enter the hearts of the educated, and let changes occur from the inside out.

Mundy's principle is also applicable to educating children, it is much easier to educate children than to train horses, first of all, horses have an instinctive rejection of people, but children have a natural dependence on their parents. Secondly, teach children to be able to communicate in the most effective language in the world.

Children, like horses, are eager to use their own language and be able to read and understand others' communication. When we enter the child's world in the way they like to communicate, the child will definitely respond positively to us.

Believing that every child can be changed if you have enough love and patience, Mondy adopted 47 of the most difficult troubled teenagers to educate, and all of them were changed.

Establish rules with love, treat the child as a wild horse, use a unique way of taming the horse, subtly touch the child's heart, listen to the voice of each child, love and rules can tame the wild horse can also educate the child.

I really understand the truth, but sometimes I really can't control my emotions in reality, for example, today I quarreled with Rui Bao again, he just wanted to make a pumpkin pie, he wanted to make food, he liked all kinds of food, and the food plan once a week was before I answered him for hunger.

But I think I took him to the bath yesterday and played until this afternoon, and tomorrow I will spend the whole day at the painting institute, and I don't have time to write an essay.

Naturally, my heart was anxious and filial, hoping that he could complete his homework as soon as possible, and even felt that making pumpkin pie was a waste of time, because there was no glutinous rice flour at home, and I had to go to the supermarket to buy it.

I quickly transferred my anxiety directly to him, and we started arguing, which I knew didn't really make sense, and it was very energy-consuming, and even more so consuming our parent-child relationship.

I feel that I am not in a state at all today, just a little bit, Rui Bao is also very driven by my emotions, he will also be Sisdy, he will also rebel and fight, is this situation what I expected?

When Mondy was in his 60s, he followed the shy boy for 24 hours in a row, making him willingly follow him, obey him, and accept him, so why did I lose that patience and tolerance for my own children.

It doesn't matter what I learn, the important thing is to practice it, and to prove with practical actions that I am indeed patient and love my children with rules.