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The three views are often referred to as the outlook on life, values, and world view. The discord between the three views means that people's outlook on life, values, and worldview are not at the same level, and there is no way to communicate. If there is disharmony between the three views, you can't see it, but you can find it by talking to people for a while, or talking about your own views on certain things.
For people's views on certain things, you can see what their three views are. If you don't agree with him, and the two of you can't agree in the end, you can be sure that you have three views that are not in harmony. When you chat with someone who doesn't agree with you, you will feel very tired, and you won't want to talk anymore after chatting, that is, you can't continue to talk.
I have really experienced what it is like to chat with people who don't agree with my three views. At that time, it was the 11th National Day holiday home, and I originally booked a train ticket to go home, but then my brother said to drive home, and finally took my brother's car back. On the road were my brother's colleagues and my brother's classmates.
My brother and his colleague took turns driving, so they were both the master and the co-pilot.
My brother's classmate and I sat in the back of the bus, and since we were close, we would have nothing to do with it. Because I've seen my brother's classmate before, I know each other. When it comes to talking about weekend schedules outside of work, I feel like we're having a hard time talking.
My brother's classmate just recently found a job as a programmer.,I guess it's really the programming job that affects the people who are engaged in this kind of work.,Or the people who are engaged in programming work are the type of otaku technical control!
Anyway, we just have one problem, and we don't recognize each other's views, which makes me feel that our three views don't match.
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Through the interaction with each other, the way you deal with some things you encounter, and the different angles of thinking, you can't understand what the other person wants to express, and the other person can't understand what you are saying.
When buying items, there will be doubts about whether to buy or not, when you choose different restaurants because of the food when you eat, and you will often have conflicts because of some trivial things, which are caused by your disagreement.
When you can't let the other party know what you really think, even if you say it hundreds of times, the other party still doesn't understand, it feels like you're communicating with an alien.
The three views are born and cannot be changed, no matter how deep the feelings will be broken because of the three views, everyone likes to get along with people with the same three views, your thoughts will be understood by the other party, you will have common topics, and you will be very comfortable and happy together.
You can't correct the thinking of someone who has a different view from you, even if the other person's idea is wrong, you tell him that he won't understand, because in his world, it's you who has the problem, and you will always think that you are right, and you will always be the wrong one.
Your views on the world will also be very different, for example, you think that Harbin is beautiful in winter, maybe in the eyes of the other party is cold except for cold, you think that art is for appreciation, the other party will think that it is a bunch of paintings, and it will always be disappointing in front of you.
There is no need to get close to each other, the distance between you produces beauty, and it is best not to understand each other deeply, and only see each other's surface is the best.
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The disagreement between the three views can only be discovered by getting along, and sometimes it cannot be discovered by relying on one side.
When many people are new to contact, they are easily influenced by first impressions, lack of in-depth understanding, and make wrong judgments. How long do you need to get along to understand, it depends on each person, some people may have established a relationship in a short period of time, and when they do not touch the problem of three views, they will be fine, but once they touch a similar problem, there will be contradictions.
Ordinary friends may be okay, and they can stay away and dilute the relationship when they find that the three views do not match, but when the boyfriend and girlfriend find that the three views do not match, they will be a little dilemma, and they always want to run in, and even some people find that the three views do not agree when they talk about marriage, and they have a headache.
As we often say, I say that the sea is beautiful and I want to see the sea, and you say that the sea is so beautiful that it is far away.
When I ask a friend to participate in a check-in training camp, I have to pay a deposit of dozens of yuan, and my friend said that I still have to pay a deposit, is it necessarily accurate to check in? I didn't do it if I played the card, etc., I said okay, if you don't participate, forget it.
The classmate is very filial, in the face of the blind date arranged by his parents, he did not refuse, and then agreed to his parents' marriage requirements, and finally found that the two were not suitable, and when chatting with another classmate, the classmate just blindly accused her, saying that she didn't know how to resist, and her parents didn't agree and wouldn't run away from home? The classmate was speechless, this is really not something she did, how can she say that?
After the classmate got married, he thought that he was going to be the main man, so he resigned according to the man's requirements and went to his city, and he didn't start working after the marriage, the man actually said that she wanted to be a full-time wife, and the man actually wanted to find a good family condition, and it was best to help him financially, otherwise he had to go to work.
After getting married, my friend said that the two did not agree on the three views, especially economically, the woman did not let the man give any money to her parents, including marriage, if the man gave money to his parents, then he also had to give the same amount of money to the woman's parents.
Look, work, life, study, there will be three different views in all aspects, just to see if you encounter it, so you should really keep your eyes open in getting along, see clearly and then make a choice, don't add unnecessary troubles to yourself.
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Summary. In fact, it is easy to judge whether a person's three views are in line with our current correct values, as long as you look at how this person usually deals with some problems when doing things? It can be judged very easily that if he is always kind to people, and always full of positive energy for some things, and is always hungry to help others treat some unfair things, and will stand up in time to express his thoughts and help the weak, then it also means that this person's three views are very positive, this is an upright person, and we are worth associating.
How to judge whether the three views are correct or not.
In fact, it is easy to judge whether a person's three views are in line with our current correct values, as long as you look at how this person usually deals with some problems when doing things? It can be judged very easily that if he is always kind to people, and always full of positive energy for some things, and is always hungry to help others treat some unfair things, and will stand up in time to express his thoughts and help the weak, then it also means that this person's three views are very positive, this is an upright person, and we are worth associating.
As the saying goes, there are no taboos, even if you talk about some obscure topics, you can talk about it eloquently, whether you talk about the sky or the earth, you will speculate, know everything, say everything, as for the people who do not agree with the three views, it is purely not speculative more than half a sentence, even if it is a normal exchange and communication, you will want to talk and stop, a thousand words do not know where to start, either nervous or embarrassed, I can't wait to find an excuse or excuse to escape as soon as possible.
Men and women will have common friends, and men and women get along with common friends very well, there is no disagreement, from which it can be concluded that men and women belong to like-minded people, overlapping social circles are the best evidence, if the three views do not coincide, men and women will never be in a common circle, as the so-called: the Tao is different and does not conspire with each other, if you reluctantly get along, there is either friction or collision, many couples are not fighting or quarreling, it is precisely because of the violation of the three views, At that time, due to objective reasons and practical pressure, I reluctantly got married, maybe the twisted melon was not sweet, and the melon was equivalent to three views.
The reason why this is so is precisely because the men and women who are the right people have a common concept of consumption, if there is no common concept of consumption, whether the income of the husband and wife is high or low, there will be friction when it comes to consumption, you don't underestimate the cost of living, a person's concept of consumption is closely related to the living environment from childhood to adulthood, revealing the concept of consumption can roughly determine the growth environment, then again, living expenses are closely related to firewood, rice, oil and salt, there is no consistent concept of consumptionOn the contrary, men and women who have the same three views, the living expenses will coincide, neither higher nor lower than psychological expectations, and other aspects of life will still be satisfactory.
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1. Manifestations of incompatibility with the outlook on life
In short, outlook on life is what you want to be. If two people don't have the same outlook on life, they can't get along at all. So how can you tell if two people's outlook on life is the same? Here are some examples:
For example, boys love to travel outdoors and like to move around, but girls like to stay at home and watch TV and listen to songs. Two people cook and clean together. If these two are together, will they hang out on the weekend or stay at home?
No matter how you choose, it will make a person unhappy.
Another example is that the boy is a committed dink family who thinks that two people are happy together and there is no need to stress themselves by having children, but the girl wants to give children after marriage, thinking that the children can continue to live and can also bring a lot of fun to themselves, and then you say that two people are together and having children can strain their relationship.
In fact, there is no right or wrong in everyone's outlook on life, just standing on different standpoints, everyone has their own unique outlook on life, and it is difficult to tolerate change. It can be said that different outlooks on life can be painful together.
Second, the performance of incompatible consumption concepts
Consumption is what you think consumption should look like. If two people have different views on consumption, there will be too many contradictions.
For example, on Valentine's Day, girls look forward to a romantic candlelit dinner and receive a bouquet of 99 red roses filled with love to reflect the romance of the holiday. But the boys believe that as long as two people love each other, there is no need to do these fancy things, there is no need to waste this money, and it is better to save money for future plans. When two people with such different views of consumption are together, they will definitely quarrel, and then the love will not last long.
3. Inconsistent values
Values are made for people and things other than oneself, A and B, who can judge the value better. If two people have different values, it's that they don't understand why the other person makes the choice they do, so it's hard to understand each other. To put it simply:
For example, girls have always insisted on buying a house before marriage, and they can only get married after buying a house, so that they can be guaranteed after marriage and have a place to live after giving birth. But the boy feels that living in ** is not living. Now that housing prices are so expensive, renting is actually quite good, and it is easy to change.
Both men have their own opinions and insistences, and no one gives in. This is also the reason why many couples who talk about marriage eventually break up. In fact, it is not who is right and who is wrong, but the values are different.
It can only be said that two people who disagree cannot go to the end. I hope you will pay more attention when you are in love, and evacuate in time if you find that the three views do not match.
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The three views do not agree"It usually refers to the fact that there are great differences in personal values, worldview and outlook on life, and they are unable to maintain a good relationship on the basis of mutual understanding and support. Here are a few ways to judge the disagreement between the three views:
1.Conflicting values. If the two parties have very different views on relationships, wealth, reputation, integrity, etc., and cannot even understand the other party's pursuits, there may be a serious value conflict.
2.Difficulty communicating. If two people lack effective interaction and understanding, and are unable to solve problems and reach consensus, it is likely that there are great differences in basic concepts and cognitive styles.
3.Misalignment between behavior and goals. If there is a serious contradiction between the life ideals, career goals, and life attitudes pursued by two people, then mutual oppression and restriction may occur.
4.Inconsistent behavior. If there is a huge difference in the behavior and behavior of two people, such as a large difference in the standards of family, money, love, and career, there may be a conflict.
It should be noted that the disagreement between the three views is the result of subjective judgment, which is often determined by various factors such as personal cognition and situation, and is not absolute. When faced with disagreements, you can take communication, understanding, compromise and other ways to seek common ground, but if you really can't reach a consensus, you don't have to be reluctant to maintain it at this time, you can keep a proper distance, and look for different social circles and communication partners.
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If two people judge whether the time can meet the requirements, in fact, many days of getting along can already be seen, the best way to communicate between people and needles is to get along for a long time, and naturally know what kind of person the other party is, and can go on with themselves.
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