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Generally, after getting married, they will be in a period of emotional loss, at this time, the husband will transfer his energy to work, and give his wife a lot of housework, and the mother-in-law will also be strict with the daughter-in-law after a short internship gap. So everyone began to have contradictions on many issues. In particular, there are more contradictions in living habits.
I think this is the case with your situation, and I have two suggestions for you to choose from: one is that you are simply busy with work and don't go home all day, as long as you and your mother-in-law don't see each other less, the conflict will not intensify; The other is to your mother-in-law, you do yours, she says her, you don't talk back to her. No matter how different the habits are, there is always a result in doing things, just do it, even if you have a low level and can't meet the requirements, she is just dissatisfied, not that she always wants to force you to act according to her wishes, and you are even more unhappy if you wronged her.
Here, I think that if your husband is considerate to you, you can encourage him to take on more housework, such as the things you are often complained about, ask your husband to do it, although your mother-in-law is definitely not satisfied, but she will not openly blame her son, at most you will blame Sang and scold Huai, you just hide back in the house and don't listen. When you support your husband to a certain level, your mother-in-law can't do anything about you, because she will feel that your status is very high and she will not easily want to go against you. In this way, you have a firm foothold.
The above is just a way of doing things, not to let you calculate your mother-in-law, let alone make you imagine that she is an enemy, and it is the best policy to get along with her friendly. But if she is wary of you, then don't forget to protect yourself when you show your sincerity.
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Friend, it seems that the question you are talking about is incomprehensible in these two sentences. I hope it will help you and have a good result Take myself as an example, my husband loves me very much, I love him very much, and I value the quasi-family very seriously. I respect my husband's family and relatives and friends, and help with housework as appropriately, just as I do for my mother's family.
Communicate with each other, and everyone can understand each other. People also respect me. It doesn't matter to me about money, just use it.
My husband can also understand me, and he is more important to my mother's family. I'm happy inside, and I'm happy. Hello friends, it's not the same to be happy and have a home, I can understand you.
Live a good life, don't mess up your heart, it won't be good for your body. I wish you all the best and be happy every day!
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Yes, there are times when things don't go well after getting married, as long as you want to open something yourself, what's not to be happy about? Isn't it okay for you to get along with your husband, if you love him, should you also tolerate what is wrong with his parents, what do you say? After saying that, you can't think about it yourself, and it's not good for your body!
Happy to you!
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lz, there are not many daughters-in-law in this world who can live in peace with their mother-in-law. I'm not married yet, but I've been with my husband for six or seven years and will get married next year. I also felt the pressure from my mother-in-law. Depressed.
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This is understandable, even if two people with a good temper are together for a long time, it will cause contradictions. The best way is for you to separate from your in-laws, if you can't separate, you should be more humble, as the saying goes, "family and everything is prosperous".
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I understand very well, I also live with my in-laws, it is more inconvenient, try not to go out in the house by myself, what is not good to communicate with my husband to say.
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Live separately, and if you can't afford to buy a house, rent a house as well. My mother-in-law now lives with us and helps me take care of the children, and I have a deep understanding of all the troubles together. But I couldn't help it, and I was depressed all the time.
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In-laws should be filial, but there are many ways to be filial, and you don't necessarily have to live together, I personally think it's better to live separately, what do you think?
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If you're depressed, you can go out for a walk when you're unhappy, and I don't believe your in-laws won't even give you this bit of personal freedom. If you are depressed, you can find someone to talk to, vent well, you will feel a lot more comfortable after venting, they are your parents-in-law after all, but I am also like many wy, I recommend going out to live, you can go to see them regularly.
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When the children are older, they live separately.
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If you can't do it, you can go out and live, but you have to have a baby together, or you can't get it.
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Mobilize your husband and convince him to move out.
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Treat your in-laws as your own parents, and they will treat you as a daughter after a long time.
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It's a little inconvenient, but it's content to think that I don't have to do a lot of housework.
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You can find a job on your own instead of being together every day.
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Relax, put yourself in their shoes, and don't worry too much about them!
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In fact, there is nothing wrong with living with my mother-in-law! I just live with my mother-in-law and understand each other better.
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If the economic conditions allow, buy a room next door and be a neighbor, but it is not good to live together.
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Find a way to convince them to agree to buy another house and move out.
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Think of them as your own parents.
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If it's not too great, think about your time with your parents, think about it, especially in this transition period, everyone will have it, don't put too much pressure on yourself.
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Talk to your husband! There's really no way around this, either you treat them as your parents, or you move out.
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After listening to your description, I feel that you have trouble getting along with your in-laws in your married life, which is a problem that daughters-in-law have always faced, and it is a contradiction between the newborn family and the original family. Newborn family: It is a family built by you and your husband as the main bond.
Family of origin: It is a bond built with your in-laws as the main body of the family.
The indispensable members of the newborn family include the subordinate members, and the subordinate members are connected to the collateral member branches; This subordinate member and your husband carry the identity of the original family, and you are the founder of the new family but also the newcomer in the secondary original family, these two contradictory identities put you in a very awkward situation.
As a master, you need to gain a sense of sovereignty and control to make your parenthood clear. The relationship between the in-laws' behavior and the husband blurs the line between the old and the new, giving you a sense of being a subordinate role, which may be where you feel uncomfortable. I want to say to you:
Giving her husband and in-laws some time so that they can complete the transition between the old and new roles without pain, and the separation in the process is indeed difficult. ”
In fact, from your description, you can also see that your in-laws are also working hard to give you enough living space. The in-laws have their own separate residence, and they have made room for space, and they try to avoid interfering with your private and solitary life in terms of time, but it is indeed difficult to separate emotions, after all, the psychological habits developed by more than 20 years of raising and getting along are difficult to be one-size-fits-all for a while, so you also need to be patient for a period of pain.
In this process, it is recommended that you try to enjoy some of the conveniences brought by the care of your in-laws: you don't have to get up early to buy groceries and cook, you don't have to worry about some family chores, and you don't have to take care of your husband's living habits; At the same time, you can learn how to "run the house" and learn about the aspects that need to be considered to maintain a family. Is that acceptable?
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If you find it difficult to get along with your in-laws, then move out as soon as possible and do not live together, otherwise the conflict will become bigger and bigger.
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You may need to try to communicate with your in-laws first, and if it really doesn't work, you may need your husband to come forward to solve it.
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You should find an opportunity to sit down with your parents-in-law and have a good chat, do not interfere in their lives, and respect their decisions.
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Here are some possible ways to cope:
1. Appropriate mediation: If the reason for the quarrel is more obvious, you can consider appropriately intervening in the elders and mediating the contradictions between the two parties, so that they can get rid of the quarrel and ease the atmosphere.
2. Avoid intensifying contradictions: When encountering contradictions, try to remain rational and calm, and avoid using radical words or behaviors to exacerbate contradictions and make things more complicated.
3. Seek external help: If the family cannot solve the problem independently, you can seek external help and support, such as finding a professional family teacher or psychological counselor, etc., to assist family members in conflict resolution and emotional communication.
4. Living separately: If the contradictions between the two parties can no longer be reconciled, you can consider temporarily living separately to ease the atmosphere and leave room for future problems.
In short, when dealing with family conflicts, it is necessary to maintain rationality, patience and communication, and take appropriate ways as much as possible to alleviate and resolve the conflicts between the two parties. At the same time, it is also important to seek external help and support on a case-by-case basis to ensure a healthy and harmonious development of the relationship between family members.
The solution to the constant quarrel between the father-in-law and the mother-in-law :
1. Communication: First of all, we must clarify the purpose of communication, that is, to reach a consensus, enhance understanding and feelings, and avoid intensifying conflicts. Be calm and rational when communicating, listen to each other's opinions and opinions, and try to find solutions to problems.
2. Respect each other: Both parties should respect each other, do not use offensive language or behavior, and do not lose their temper indiscriminately, so as not to exacerbate the conflict. Try to understand the other person, restrain your emotions, and face the problem with a positive attitude.
3. Adjust the contradiction: If it is difficult to eliminate the contradiction, the contradiction can be alleviated through mediation. Family members can seek help from professionals through family**, etc.
4. Seek external support: If the conflict cannot be resolved, consider seeking help from other relatives or friends, or seeking advice and support from professional consulting services.
5. Take care of the feelings of both parties: Family members should try to take into account the feelings of both parties and avoid being too strong or arbitrarily deciding to balance the interests of both parties and resolve conflicts.
In short, when dealing with the quarrel between the father-in-law and the mother-in-law, you need to face the problem patiently and rationally, try to find a solution to the root cause, and respect the opinions and feelings of both parties in order to establish a healthy and harmonious family relationship. <>
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Summary. The main thing is to consider whether there is any possibility of recovery between you husband and wife. Abandon the factor of the contradiction of your in-laws, do you still have feelings?
After marriage, all kinds of tiredness and disturbances, the escalation of conflicts between in-laws and families, frequent quarrels, and no intimate actions between husband and wife, Li Wang even disgusted, is it necessary to maintain this kind of marriage? There is a 2-year-old Bao slow sedan treasure.
The main thing is to consider whether there is any possibility of recovery between you husband and wife. Abandon the factor of the contradiction of your in-laws, do you still have feelings?
I think we're both going to be on the way, for the sake of the kids.
Because of the problem of bringing children, the conflict between the in-laws and the family continues to escalate.
If you can do it, it means that it is okay between two people. For the sake of the child, he will do it.
But every day is not happy.
Will this be the end of the day?
But the child is too young.
Cut, do you think about how you will go down the road after the divorce?
And. There was a typo on it, sorry.
Even if it is another man, it is not necessarily better than the current one.
My heart is too tired, I don't want to persevere, and I can't bear to have children.
This is the sorrow of a woman.
Are you financially independent now?
It's no problem to feed yourself.
Is it possible to feed a child?
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I have some suggestions for dealing with family relationships:
1. Be humble, don't be a needle to each other about everything, give each other more opportunities to talk, think more about each other, avoid unnecessary conflicts, and family affection is priceless.
2. A surprise creates a dramatic effect, and often many contradictions are lost in jokes.
3. Divide responsibilities, assume your own responsibilities and obligations, do more for the family, and think less for yourself.
4. Dualized communication, many conflicts are due to the lack of communication between family members, which exacerbates the conflicts.
5. Be open-minded, life is short, we should create a harmonious society and a harmonious family, think about everything, don't worry about everything, don't intrigue, don't be greedy, be open-minded, and be grateful to live a relaxed and happy life.
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Tell them that you don't have time to watch the children, that you have something to go out, that you want to go where you want to go when you go out, and that there is nothing you can not say!
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Regardless of your mother-in-law, try to minimize confrontation with her head-on, because confrontation will only make your relationship worse and worse.
If you have a big opinion about your mother-in-law, you have to communicate more with your husband in private, these things are actually the problem of your husband's adjustment, and your husband is far more splinted in the middle than you think.
On the one hand, it is a mother, on the other hand, it is a wife, and it is difficult to be a husband.
Because we are juniors, no matter what the mother-in-law is, she will always be your husband's mother. Try to get close to her with your husband, occasionally buy her clothes, quietly cook a meal she likes, etc. After a few times like this, your mother-in-law will be very moved in her heart, and she will return your kindness to her ten times and a hundred times more, so that in this virtuous circle, all your problems will be solved!
Remember, never quarrel with the elderly, because no matter whether the old man is right or wrong, if you quarrel and the fault is still our juniors, sometimes it is better to say more than to do more, and to say too much, it is better to be silent!
Hope it helps.
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