Why do my colleagues at work always like to count me down, and several colleagues like to verbally a

Normally, even if the relationship between colleagues is not good, they will not directly engage in verbal attacks. You should first reflect on yourself, and you should consider whether there is a place to offend them, or that you are too expressive and make everyone dislike you. If you rule out their own reasons and they are malicious attacks, then you have to find a way to deal with them.

In the face of other people's verbal attacks, you must learn to control them, disguise your emotions, and return the other party with a little self-deprecation. For some honest people in the workplace. The first thing to do when you hear a verbal attack from a colleague is to control your emotions and block out the messages that you are angry about and not respond to them.

Even if you are angry, you must pretend to be calm and calm. Admit that you have this weakness, and then explain from the side that this weakness is actually beneficial, and the other party does not have this weakness, so the other party does not get this benefit. Use self-deprecation to return to the other party, the purpose of self-deprecation is not to express humor, but to end the topic decently, so that you can get off the stage, so don't care too much about face when deprecating yourself, and don't be afraid that what you say is not funny, it doesn't matter if you say something is not good, as long as you can catch the conversation, give yourself a step down.

This approach is mostly a decent end to the topic rather than a-for-tat.

If your colleague is particularly sharp in your verbal assault, then you should treat them the same way as others. Too forbearing, weakness is not in place. That's when you have to be tougher and defend your dignity.

It's not that you should scold others and have conflicts with others, but that if you judge me, I will judge you, and I will tease you in whatever tone you use to ridicule me. Wherever you ridicule me, I will verbally attack you. You can set a rule for yourself for other people's verbal attacks, and others will make trouble for you, you can be tolerant and tolerant, and laugh at yourself.

If others come at you three times and twice to make trouble, then you must treat others the way they do. But pay attention to the degree of control, others say that you have a few points, you have to return a few points, not too much.

In short, there are indeed a lot of malicious information about low-quality people in the workplace, depending on what kind of mentality we face and what kind of way we deal with it. When encountering a verbal attack from a low-quality person, either take the initiative to avoid it, or take the initiative to ignore it, or respond intelligently, and you must not entangle with it.

The first reason: the person who is targeting you does not see your aggression, so he is targeting you.

Psychologically speaking, in the process of interacting with someone, we need to identify and judge how aggressive that person is. Because we need to determine the scale and proportion of our words, deeds and attitudes towards this person according to the aggressiveness of this person, so that we can clearly know how to live in harmony with this person and how to avoid conflicts with this person.

The second reason: the person targeting you feels that you are paying attention to him, so he is targeting you.

Psychologically speaking, the sense of attention is a social signal that each of us is most vigilant about, and the sense of attention can only be understood by us as two possibilities. One possibility is that we will feel that the **** person is malicious to us, and the other possibility is that we will feel that the **** person is kind to us. When we think that the **** person is malicious to us, then we will often attack this person first, and when we feel that this person is too powerful to attack him, we will launch a secret attack on this person.

1. Start by changing yourself.

As a newcomer to the workplace, I was excluded from the company as soon as I entered the company: one is that my personality is too weak and always drags other colleagues back; The second is that he is too tough and does not deal with other colleagues, so he is isolated.

Both of these conditions are caused by personality reasons. The best way to improve the situation is to start by changing yourself. Those with weak personalities should start by learning to refuse; If you have a tough personality, you must learn to get along with others.

2. Show less of your superiority and try to leave your superiority to your colleagues.

People with superior resources are the most likely to be isolated, in fact, on a large level, if you show your superiority excessively, it becomes a show, you do this to everyone, then everyone doesn't want to pay attention to you.

The person who can really chat is that you say a little, I say a little, know how to let the other party talk a little more, let the other party show his superiority, and be a good listener, and give the other party the right to speak and superiority. People with high emotional intelligence will always care about the other person's feelings in communication, and do not damage the superiority of others as an independent individual.

Eliminate anger. This technique involves ending the conversation. When someone attacks you inappropriately, sometimes you can try to calm down by refusing to talk to him when he has not calmed down.

You can say, "I'm willing to talk about whatever you want, but I can't talk to you when you're angry." Calm down first, and then we'll talk." If they do calm down, you have to be prepared to listen carefully.

Distinguish important issues.

Sometimes people mix up several things in order to convince you to do what they want to do. Don't let them confuse you. You have to focus on the issues that are important to you and refuse to divert them.

For example, if your relatives or friends may say, "If you don't lend me money, it's clear that you don't care about me," and it's important to make a clear distinction between "It's not that I don't care about you, it's just that I don't want to lend you money." You need to use a combination of the above methods of saying "no" to make it work best.

**。Deal with feelings of guilt.

Some people find it easy to get others to do what they want by making them feel guilty. For example, some children can say to their parents, "If you don't stop me from playing in the park, then you will be the perfect parents". The stupid demand for perfection makes us feel guilty if we weren't.

The word "sorry" is often used too much, and sometimes these words have no real meaning, and those who often say sorry are actually feeling guilty in unnecessary situations. He didn't realize that he had a right to his own views and a life. Don't use the words "I'm sorry" unless you really have a reason to apologize.

Apologize. There are many situations where an apology is appropriate. For example, at a social event, you ignore someone.

That person complains about your behavior, but extends the complaint to everything that criticizes you. You recognize that your negligence has hurt the rights of others, but you should make it clear that you apologize for your negligence, but cannot accept anything else from him about you.

Being counted down by colleagues suggests two reasons:

If you are not able to work enough, you will inevitably be told by others when you do things.

You usually have no dignity, this is your own creation, and others don't take you seriously, so you can call and drink.

To be a man to have self-esteem, if you want to have self-esteem, you must improve yourself, from all aspects of work ability and dealing with people.

There are several factors that may be the case for a colleague to make you an imaginary enemy:

First, you're too easy to bully. When people attack you, you don't have much to fight back.

Second, you are harming a lot of people.

Thirdly, you have offended the leader, so many people have attacked you when the wind blows the rudder.

Fourth, herd mentality. One said you didn't refute it, so many people followed and said you.

If a person says you, it may be someone else's problem, if a group of people say you, you have to think about whether it is your own problem, but I think since you can ask it here, it is proof that you want to change the status quo, so do self-reflection in everything, is it that I am not good enough at my own work, so it causes this, if you improve yourself, colleagues will still count you down, then you can consider changing jobs.

Pro, the workplace is the most important thing in interpersonal communication, no matter what you do well or not at work, there are always some people who will say you, some people want you to correct, some people just want to belittle others and elevate themselves, for this part of the people do not have to ignore, do your job well, the object of your work report is the boss, so be sure to communicate with the leader more, understand the intention of the leader, if your colleagues like to attack you, you must learn to protect yourself, learn to fight back, so that others will not bully you.

They see that you may have a stupid mouth and are not particularly capable of speaking, so they will make fun of you and joke about you, which is very normal, phenomenon, you don't have to worry, exercise slowly, and practice your mouth well. Fight back at them and you'll be fine.

It must be that you are usually too easy to talk to, and they all think that you are particularly easy to bully, or you yourself are too blind.

This is because you always make mistakes in your work, or you are too slow to be productive. It has affected the work of other employees.

The workplace is all about cooperation, and when you are not efficient, others will criticize you with bad words.

In the process of work, colleagues should respect each other, encounter unfair verbal attacks, do not compromise and face them bravely, even if they make mistakes at work, they should not be personally attacked.

It shows that you are usually a puff bag at work, and all their dissatisfaction will be poured out on you, if you give them an inviolable demeanor and action at that time, then they will not dare to attack you with words anyway.

One is that your work is really not very good, and everyone is criticizing and encouraging. Another possibility is that you have a cowardly personality and are easier to bully!

I think that the main thing is that you are too weak, colleagues are bullying you, these colleagues are bullying the soft and afraid of the hard, and there are colleagues who are familiar with you in the future, and you must fight back when you are down and attack you.

At work, colleagues always like to leave you with their hands, and that's because you're not strong enough. You have to work hard, gain experience, and when you are strong, it will not be you who will be counted.

This one may think that you are a bully, you are ruthless, and no one will say anything.

Give appropriate reminders that they shouldn't treat you in this way.

The relationship between colleagues is also a kind of care, eating persimmons and picking up soft pinching, if you are strong, no one will dare to count you, because you will be beaten if you fall behind.

It's possible that because you seem to be a bully, and you don't have a backstage, you become someone else's gas bucket.

This shows that these colleagues do not have a good way of dealing with people.

Others like to count you down, it should be that you are usually more honest and low-key, easy to bully.

In fact, you should be stronger, not always be bullied, and be brave enough to say no to unnecessary people and things. As long as you are not easy to bully, no one will dare to bully you. Be brave and be strong.

If it's an accident, maybe someone else is biased against you. But most of my colleagues are like this, so you should reflect on yourself.

If it's an example, both parties may have problems, and if it's a regular one, then you have more problems.

Some people just like to bully people and make irresponsible remarks. Everyone is good at being bullied, and horses are good at being ridden.

Or maybe you're not doing a good job and you're not doing a good job and you're not welcoming new people.

Hello friend, people are good at being bullied, and horses are good at being ridden.

You're in a bad work environment and like to fight each other.

You just have to make yourself stronger.

You can get angry at them once, and they won't do it again in the future. People are good and are deceived by others.

See what the reason is to count you, and accept it patiently for your own good. If it's just bullying you, you have to pay back. Stay away from such people.

To avoid being bullied by our colleagues, we need to learn some interpersonal skills to avoid being bullied in the workplace.

First, they are neither humble nor arrogant, and have their own bottom line. When facing senior colleagues, if you put on a lowly posture of kneeling and licking, it is equivalent to telling the other party "come and bully me, come and take advantage of me". The other party will really take advantage of you and look down on you at the same time.

Your dignity is shaped by you, and if you don't even maintain your own dignity, then don't blame others for violating and trampling on it. Whether you are a newcomer or an old employee, you should set a basic bottom line for yourself, and then stick to it, and turn your face when it is time to turn your face and lose your embarrassment.

Second, keep your distance from your colleagues. For very close friends, of course, be honest with each other. But colleagues can't be equated with friends, you are more of a relationship of interest, so you have to protect your privacy.

You know, when a colleague doesn't know how much privacy and background you have, let alone how big your secrets are, he doesn't dare to act rashly. However, once these secrets are revealed, knowing that you are so capable, then they can use you to their heart's content and bully you, and you can't do anything to him anyway. Therefore, get along with colleagues, everyone can get by on the face, you don't know his relationship with other superiors or leaders, if you get too close, you can't control whether your colleagues will turn their faces and dig holes for you.

Third, move closer to the "core" in the team. The "core" here means two levels, on the one hand, you need to maintain a good relationship with the core people of the team; On the other hand, you have to build your own core competitiveness. At the very least, you have to make sure that you're showing the ability to do your job, if not the most aggressive, but not the most slow.

Try to make yourself a person who can help your colleagues and leaders solve problems, so that you have bargaining power, and whoever bullies you is making enemies of everyone.

In short, being bullied in the workplace is your own reason, so try to improve your own problems; If it's the environment, you can only adapt to the environment or try to change it. While trying to make yourself stronger, of course, you must also know how to get along with colleagues, after all, it is difficult to win the battle by yourself.