New Year s Day jokes, humorous jokes about New Year s Day

Philosophy questions. There was a teacher in the Department of Philosophy who took only one question in the midterm exam.

The title is "What is courage?" ”

Just when everyone is desperately trying to figure out how to write something......

One of my classmates turned in ......It's not like he didn't write a word!

But he wrote only five words: "This is courage!" ”

Absolutely! The teacher gave him a perfect score.

But it's definitely not to come.

Finally, it was time for the final exam. The teacher still only took one question.

This time, the topic is "That's the question, please give the answer".

That's weird enough, isn't it? People still don't know how to write.

However, the student quickly turned in the paper.

What did he write this time?

He writes "That's the answer, please give points....”

The teacher was so angry that he yelled angrily

Boy, that's amazing! Come to me, I have two questions for you, and if you answer the first question, you don't have to answer the second question...”

Teacher: "How many hairs do you have?" ”

Classmate: "One hundred and twenty million three thousand six hundred and one".

Teacher: "How do you know?" ”

Student: "I don't need this question".

He got a perfect score in the final exam!

The answer that can off the teacher!

On New Year's Day, the round one-dollar coin, when I saw good things, always took the only one and turned it into a bright day.

New Year's Day is just around the corner, so let's prepare a humorous text message to please our friends and family! Blessings and humor! My thoughts of you are like the waves of the river, and my blessings to you are like a volcanic eruption, although the cold wind is whistling, but I can't miss you; Although the sea is rough, it does not fulfill my blessings to you.

When is the bright moon, ask the wine to the sky, I don't know what year it is in the heavenly palace, I want to ride the wind to go, but I'm afraid, you are alone, one person, one person, the shadow into three people, ask the wine again Today, are the people who read the text messages still having a good New Year's Day? Wine into the throat, longing for life, difficult to sleep, lovesickness. New Year's Day means that all your troubles last year will be over; New Year's Day, which means that all your wishes this year should be fulfilled, a happy New Year's Day, can not represent my heart, then I will say one more word, Happy New Year's Day, happy New Year's Day!

I wish you in the new year: career is at noon, the body is as strong as a tiger, there is countless money, the work is not hard, leisurely like a mouse, romantic like a musical score, and you are happy.

I wish you a lot of wealth and hair like a fat pig; The body is great, strong as a bear; Love is sweet and beautiful like a bee; Good luck is abundant, like cow's hair; The career is steaming, and the more you fly, the higher and higher like the Roc. In a word, Happy New Year's Day!

My son is 10 years old and in the third grade of elementary school. One day to do homework, you need to use "For a while... for a while" to form a sentence.

He made up a sentence that said, "I sing and dance in class."

When I saw it, I asked: Don't lie, children, you don't have an art class, how can you sing and dance in class, what is what it is, and seek truth from the facts!

My son thought about it and made another sentence: I fell asleep for a while during class and played with toys for a while.

When it was done, he said to me, "I didn't lie this time!"

Someone's son ran up crying and said, "Dad......."Dad, someone said ......I'm a grass ......Straw bag!

Dad: Who scolded our son for being a straw bale, he was a straw bale! His son is one of the largest straw bales in the world!

After a minute, the father calmly asked his son: Who scolded you for being a straw bag?

Son: Grandpa......

Happy New Year! Although these four words only cost me 1 cent, they are equivalent to tons of blessings falling on you!

Rice and big buns fight in groups, rice fights with many people, and when they see big buns, they fight, soybean sand buns, big sugar buns, and steamed dumplings are all spared. Da Zongzi was forced into a corner, tore his clothes in a hurry, and shouted: Look clearly, I am an undercover agent.

Turn off your phone, slowly close your eyes, think about me, think about zongzi, you will find that I am as cute as zongzi Zi string 7

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I am the palm leaf, you are rice, wrapping you layer by layer; You are teeth, I am rice, sweet and sweet sticking to you; How many meters are in the brown represents how much I miss you. Remember to send me a message, or the brown will choke you! String 5

Zongzi incense, fragrant kitchen; Artemisia leaf incense, full of incense; The peach branch is inserted on the gate, and the wheat is yellow when you go out; Duanyang here, Duanyang there, Duanyang everywhere. I wish my dear friends a happy Dragon Boat Festival! String 3

Acacia for a long time to stay a piece of heart, the bamboo folded in half must be artificial, white to go to the heart has been waiting for the spoon, stealing a piece of heart in the eyes, life and death in order to wait for a while, straight down to two points of forgetful water, the body set up ten hearts, so about boundless to find fragrant grass.

On String 1's birthday, I'll give you a cake; During the Mid-Autumn Festival, I will send you a box of moon cakes, the Dragon Boat Festival is coming, I will give you a grain of glutinous rice, I hope you will plant it, take care of it with your heart, and wait to harvest my blessings. String 3

Everyone praised you for being sensitive and studious, learning what is like anything, I remember that day you learned Andy Lau to sing, it was really like yes. The Dragon Boat Festival is coming, I think you should also imitate Qu Yuan's suicide by jumping into the river, how about it?

String 4 send a sachet with a purse, make a few catties of zongzi, ask someone to pick mugwort leaves in the mountains, buy a bottle of realgar wine on the street, plus a little care in the depths of my heart, as a gift to you, I wish you a happy Dragon Boat Festival!

String 2 knows what I'm thinking? Do you know why I miss you? Because I like it. Do you know why I like you? Because of your taste. Do you know why it smells? Because you are a zongzi, I wish you a happy Dragon Boat Festival in advance!

On the night of String 6, the crowd buns chased and killed zongzi, and now everyone knows: the green-skinned is undercover!

A group of zongzi were driven to the corner, so flat that they lost their helmets and their heads were bleeding, and the buns were tired, only to hear one of them shouting: "Brothers, don't fight, my own people, I am the one who was fired from the shop because of the mold." ”

One day, the wolf was going to eat three piglets. Two of the three little pigs are at the doorway and one is on the roof.

Pig 1 and Pig 2 are at the door, and Pig 3 is on the roof. Pig 1's name is "who", pig 2's name is "where", and pig 3's name is "what". 】

And so there is a wonderful conversation.

Wolf): Who are you?

Pig 1): Right.

Wolf): What?

Pig) 1: "what" on the roof.

Wolf: I'm asking what's your name?

Pig 1): My name is "who", "what" on the roof!

The wolf asked Pig 2): Who are you?

Pig 2): I'm not "who", he's "who". [Pointing to Pig 1] (Wolf): Do you know him?

Pig 2): Hmm!

Wolf): Who is he?

Pig 2): Yes.

Wolf): What?

Pig 2): "What" on the roof!

Wolf: Where?

Pig 2): "Where" is me.

Wolf): Who? Pig 2): He is "who". [Pointing to pig 1 again].

Wolf: How do I know.

Pig 2): Who are you looking for?

Wolf): What?

Pig 2): He's on the roof?

Wolf: Where?

Pig 2): It's me.

Wolf): Who? Pig 2): I'm not "who", he's "who".

Wolf: Oh my God!

Piggy 1.2): "Oh my God" is our dad.

Wolf: What's your dad?

Pig 2): No!

The wolf couldn't stand it anymore, and looked up to the sky and sighed: Why?

Piggy 1.2.3): Do you know our grandfather?

Wolf): What?

Pig 1): No, our grandfather is "why".

Wolf): Why?

Pig 1): Yes!

Wolf: What is it?

Pig 1): Not "why".

Wolf): Who? Pig 1): I am "who".

Wolf): Who are you?

Pig 1): Yes, I'm "who".

Wolf): What?

Pig Pig 1.2): "What" on the roof. ~~

The wolf cried out, oh my God! I'm crazy!

So he jumped into the pot and cried and said: 3 big pigs. You eat me, I have no attachment to life!

Rice and steamed buns fight in groups, rice fights with many people, and those who see steamed buns are beaten, bean paste buns, sugar buns, and steamed dumplings are all spared. Zongzi was forced into a corner, tore his clothes in a hurry, and shouted: Look clearly, I am undercover!!

1.During the Chinese New Year, everyone uses mobile phones to send text messages to greet the New Year. I sent out 32 text messages in Chinese New Year's Eve and received not a single reply.

On the first day of junior high school, I sent another 19 text messages, but there was still no reply; I sent 13 messages in the second year of junior high school, but there is still no reply.

When I finally received a text message in the third year of junior high school, I excitedly shouted to my mother: "Look, someone has given me a New Year's greeting!" ”

When I opened my phone, the text message read: "China Mobile wishes you a happy Chinese New Year!" By the way, your phone has been shut down in arrears. ”

2.The Spring Festival is here, and various radio stations have launched song ordering columns. I was in a taxi listening to someone calling ** to the radio to order a song, and a man called ** in and said:

I'm a foreigner, and now I can't buy a ticket to go home, so I have to spend the Chinese New Year in Beijing. I want to order a song. ”

The host asked him, "Who do you want to order a song for?" ”

I thought I needed to ask, it must be my parents and relatives who were far away.

Who knows, wife: "Tomorrow is the Chinese New Year's Eve, what are you going to give my mother?" ”

Husband: "Send some good cigarettes!" ”

Wife: "Are you crazy?" It's been more than five years since my dad passed away, and my mom doesn't smoke at all, why are you giving her cigarettes? ”

Husband: "Because every time I go to her, she just treats me to tea." ”

The man said: I will order a song of Chen Xiaochun's "Count You Ruthless" and give it to all the ticket sellers at the train station.

3.In the thirtieth year of the Chinese New Year's Eve, Fangfang's father hung a New Year painting. After he hung the first one, he asked Fang Fang to see from behind whether the second one was level with the first. In order to please auspiciousness, he told Fangfang to say: If I am high, you will say that you are rich, and if I am low, you will say that you are healthy.

When he hung up the painting, Fangfang looked left and right in the same way, so he reported: Dad, you are not rich, and you are not healthy.