Who has a collection of humorous jokes, a collection of humorous jokes

1.The principal and the English teacher visited a middle school in France together, the principal spoke in the auditorium, and the English teacher acted as an interpreter.

Principal: "Teachers and students! ”

English Teacher: "Ladies and gentlemen!" ”

Headmaster: "Ladies and gentlemen! ”

English teacher - thought for a moment and said, "Good morning!" ”

Headmaster: "Good morning! ”

English Teacher: ......=="Khan.

2.He said that there was a polar bear, because the snow was so dazzling, that he had to wear sunglasses to see things, but he couldn't find the sunglasses, so he crawled around on the ground with his eyes closed, crawling and crawling, crawling and crawling dirty to find sunglasses. Put on your sunglasses and look in the mirror, only to find out:

Oh, so I'm a panda.

3.A polar bear was lonely on the ice in a daze, and when he was bored, he began to pluck his own hair and play, one, two, three, and finally there was no one left, and then he died of cold.

4.Once upon a time there was a bird who would pass by a cornfield every day, but unfortunately one day there was a fire in that cornfield and all the corn turned into popcorn! The bird flew over and ......I thought it was snowing, and I died of cold.

5.Xiao Ming got a new haircut, and when he came to school the next day, his classmates saw his new hairstyle and said with a smile: Xiao Ming, your head shape looks like a kite! Xiao Ming felt very aggrieved, so he ran outside to cry, crying and crying, and he flew up.

6.The spider fell in love with the butterfly, but the butterfly rejected it, and the spider asked: Why? Here's why! Butterfly said: My mother said that people who mix online all day long are not good people

Recently, when my mother ** was eating, my mother said, "Serve a little more, you can only eat one bowl." ”

1. A science and engineering university is holding a love poetry contest, and after reading this work, I collapsed directly: "For four years, every day in the middle of the night.

Coming down from the top bunk to go to the toilet just to take a look at you" 2. At the ticket gate of Beijing Airport, a foreigner: "Hello, ticket, to the Netherlands ......."Two hours later, the foreigner appeared at Zhengzhou Airport with a blank face.

2. During the driver's license test, the examiner rushed out of the house and waved his fist at me and yelled: "Fail!! Knock down seven, how did you learn!

I'll admit that I'm poor at driving, but don't exaggerate too much! There are six rods in total, where did they knock down seven? Isn't that - the coach is lying there too!

3 Girls in college are easy to see which grade they are, the freshman has short hair and no makeup, the sophomore has long hair and light makeup, the junior has a clean hair dye, and the senior has a mature forehead. But college boys are not easy to judge, because: freshman dota, sophomore dota, junior dota, senior dota.

4. Why do you need to write the word "demolition" on the wall of the house to be demolished, and draw a circle? The answer is as follows: 1. International practice 2. This is the overall logo 3. The meaning of enclosure and demolition 4. I am afraid that someone will add the word "no" in front or "your uncle" in the back 5. It is convenient to aim when spitting 6. It proves that it is a "trap" 7. It shows that the target has been locked 8. It makes people feel that this is an official seal, which represents mandatory.

5. M: Do you know? 80% of girls shy, the other 20% sing in the shower, guess what they sing?

MM: Mmmm......I don't know. Male (laughs wickedly):

It seems that you are the 80% of the people mm: the expression is very embarrassing. The face is very red.

M: What's wrong? Actually, I would like to say brushing your teeth (sy).

Once, a very bad eunuch stopped Ji Xiaolan and asked him to tell a joke. Ji Xiaolan said: "Once upon a time, there was a person once upon a time.

Then after being silent for a long time, the eunuch couldn't help but ask, "What about below?" Ji Xiaolan replied:

There's no more down there! ”

1.Hee Hee and Ha Ha are good friends, and one day Ha Ha died in a car accident. Hee hee went to Haha's grave and said, "Haha, you're dead." ” 2.What happens to a chicken when it flies into the freezer? Haha turned into ice cream (chicken) Ling...

There was a man called Joke Island, who fell down while walking.

There is a BMW parked on the side of the road, which is illegal parking. The police came, posted notes, and copied the list. Dude comes out of the mall:

Aren't you a policeman, what's a cow? Wouldn't you just post a note and copy a list? The policeman looked at him, did not speak, and continued to copy the list.

If you want to be a real cow, you can just call a tow truck to tow it away! The policeman looked at him, but did not speak. "What's the cow!

What else would you do but scare us with stickers! Cow b, you drag it away! After the police finished copying the list, they called ** and called a tow truck.

The trailer is coming. The cop looked at the dude. "Hey, you're awesome!

You're so good, you drag it away! Lend you two guts! The policeman waved his hand and dragged it away.

The policeman looked at him twice and tried to persuade him not to be so angry in the future. The buddy rolled his eyes: "You cow b, you wait for the owner to come and tell him that you towed his car away!" ”

This ** is a joke!

The father asked his son, "Who will you marry in the future?" The son said: I want to marry my grandmother, she loves me! Dad said: Nonsense, how can you marry my mother? The son said, "You can marry my mother, why can't I marry your mother?"

The classmates climbed the mountain together, and when they reached the top of the mountain, a girl shouted: Motherland, my mother! A boy who had a crush on her immediately shouted: Motherland, my mother-in-law!

The rabbit went fishing, and on the first day he didn't catch it, and on the second day he came back empty-handed, and on the third day he was about to go back, and a fish jumped out of the water and shouted: You fool, use that turnip as bait, and I will flatten you to death.