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Do what they like, find out what their hobbies are, and then make up the lessons yourself, and cut into the topic.
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In fact, many elderly people like to talk about their past.
When your parents-in-law talk about their past, you can follow up on the topic and ask them something else (e.g., did you ......... before?).You were so .........Something like that.
The best thing is that you can go and talk when they are talking.
Haha, I'm like that a lot.
For example, my mother-in-law said: What kind of vegetables did you buy today, how much is a pound.
I asked, "Then what are you going to cook?" I'm going to steal it. (Or: So what, what, how much?) )
Something like that. It's just that I want to find a topic to talk about, and many times boring topics, very small things, the elderly will also like to talk about.
At least not just sitting and not talking
So, you can try to find more topics to talk to them.
It's best if you can talk to them about a topic based on that topic
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Be reasonable, emotional, and truly treat yourself as their child, not as a guest.
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Don't ask about their past, you will be angry if you ask too much, he will say that they are not as good as you or something, they have always been better than they have always compared, and he will not feel that the times are changing. She said that if you don't speak, it's okay, and when you say more, she will talk about you again. Believe me.
It's best to be silent, so as not to trouble in the future, it's only been 2 months now, I'm the same as you, I've been engaged for 6 months now, I just like to ask her questions, and I want to communicate more with him, and now it's troublesome. Now I just think I'm asking a lot wrong. If she doesn't speak, she will say that I am not uncomfortable and used to be so lively every day.,Hey。。。
Tragic. It's because I want to communicate.
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Getting along with your husband's family is a very important aspect of marriage, and here are some suggestions:
1.Respect your husband's family: When getting along with your husband's family, respect their views and lifestyle, and don't blame or criticize them easily.
2.Build a good relationship: Try to build a good relationship with your husband's family, learn more about their interests and lifestyles, strengthen communication and interaction, and enhance mutual understanding and trust.
3.Stay independent: When getting along with your husband's family, keep thinking and acting independently, and don't be easily influenced by them and controlled by Zheng Yuan.
4.Distinguish boundaries: When getting along with your husband's family, you should distinguish the boundaries, respect each other's personal space and privacy, and do not interfere too much with or interfere with each other's lives.
5.Communicate openly: When getting along with your husband's family, communicate openly and honestly, express your thoughts and feelings, and try to avoid misunderstandings and conflicts.
6.Seek compromise: When getting along with your husband's family, seek compromise, try to balance the needs and interests of both parties, and reach consensus and agreement.
In short, getting along with your husband's family requires both parties to work together to build a healthy family relationship and maintain family harmony through respect, building a good relationship, maintaining independence, distinguishing boundaries, communicating openly and seeking compromises.
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In this case, just call it uncle and aunt, even if you can't be a relative, you don't need to turn against each other.
Tell me about my colleague's experience
My colleague and her husband were married many years before they had children. In the years after marriage, I often went to major hospitals to recuperate, in order to be able to conceive a baby as soon as possible.
Finally welcomed their baby in the fifth year of marriage, a son, and her husband and mother-in-law were very happy and regarded this baby as a pearl in their palms. With the birth of the baby, my colleague focused all his energy on his son and did not notice the change in my husband. It turned out that her husband had a sincere lover outside, and it had been 2 years, and now the junior was also pregnant, forcing his husband to divorce.
When my colleagues found out, they chose to fulfill them. Since her son is still young, she has to work herself, so her son is brought to her mother-in-law, and she picks him up every day after work.
Her mother-in-law may have felt sorry for my colleagues, so she was very kind to her and still treats her like a daughter.
And my colleague also knows that this auspicious ode has nothing to do with her parents, so she still respects her ex-husband's parents very much, and calls them uncle and aunt every time they meet.
I think soIt's good to gather and disperseIt's also good, after all, they are the children's grandparents, and they will still have contact in the future.
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It's time to eat, it's time to drink, it's time to play. It should be polite and polite, it should be polite, it should be sensible, it should be criticized, and it should be educated.
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Many in-laws will live with their sons by default, mainly to take care of their grandchildren, and they feel that it is very happy for a family to live together. But mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have lived together for a long time, and there will definitely be some misunderstandings and contradictions.
As long as mother-in-law and daughter-in-law understand each other, be considerate, and think about problems from each other's point of view, there will not be so many contradictions.
So how can mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along so that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will not have conflicts and misunderstandings?
The first point, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should empathize, when there is a discord in something, we must first think about the problem from the perspective of the other party, why does the mother-in-law do this kind of thing, is there anything wrong with my approach, if the two Volt travelers do not agree with each other, do not say it directly, it is best to communicate with your husband first, and let the husband convince the mother-in-law, which is better.
The second point should be to give to each other, don't think that your mother-in-law is retired and has nothing to do at home, so you have to entrust your mother-in-law with all the housework to be yourself. When you get home from work, you don't do anything, you have to rest, it's not good, when your mother-in-law cooks, you can help wash the vegetables, help each other in this way, do housework together, this relationship will get better and better, you should be considerate of each other.
The third point is that mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should praise each other, everyone likes each other to praise themselves, so when mother-in-law does something, sometimes she has a different vision, she has to criticize others, we should praise each other, for example, if you cook a meal at night, you can praise your mother-in-law's cooking is delicious, and you can praise your mother-in-law for buying things that are good for your vision, don't stand in your own perspective to think about what is not good.
The fourth point should be that they often have a heart-to-heart relationship, two people live together, they should often talk about their hearts, tell him what they think, and treat him as their own mother, so that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will be better. Mother-in-law will also be better and better to you, so that there will be no irreconcilable and inevitable contradictions between the two people.
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There are two main points.
1.Communicate more with your mother-in-law. The mother-in-law always thinks that the daughter-in-law is not your daughter after all, and she must not be able to say a lot of things to her, and she is afraid that she will be angry or her son will not be able to do well.
The daughter-in-law feels that her mother-in-law is an old man, and she will not handle the relationship with the old man. I am also afraid that I will make my mother-in-law unhappy because of my bad speech, but in fact, these are unnecessary worries. Although there are definitely mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law who are difficult to get along with in reality, I think most people are still more sensible.
More communication helps to understand each other and tolerate each other. Therefore, those mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law who dare not or do not want to chat with each other may wish to let go of their guards and doubts, sincerely chat with each other more, and communicate more often.
2.Honor your mother-in-law. Although your mother-in-law did not raise you.
But she raised your favorite husband. So if you love your husband, how can you not love his mother? It's not easy to be a mother, and if you have a daughter-in-law with children, you will understand better how difficult it is for a mother-in-law.
So, you and your husband should honor both parents together. You have also parents, if your husband quarrels with your parents and the relationship is not good, I don't think you will be happy enough to **. So as a daughter-in-law, you can give your mother-in-law a little more care, a little smile, you are good to your mother-in-law, and your husband will naturally be very happy and good to you.
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Mutual understanding and respect are the key to earning trust. Writer Yang Daxia Yang Ke narrated.
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First, you can listen to what your in-laws say makes sense and can be done. For example, tell us to spend money in moderation, for the sake of future life, etc.
Second, if your husband doesn't dare to say what you want to say to your in-laws, you have to think about what you think you can say before saying it, so as to avoid your in-laws having thoughts about you.
Third, for example, if you have a different view in your heart and want to say it, you have to go through it in your heart and use what way to say it is the best. For example, if you have a baby, the mother-in-law generally thinks that sugar should be added to the baby's food, but there is no such statement now, then you need to use euphemistic language to persuade her.
Fourth, in life, father-in-law and mother-in-law sometimes have quarrels in front of us, so I choose to avoid this situation, because the elders solve the problems themselves, and it is not good for us to intervene as daughters-in-law.
Fifth, every daughter-in-law must learn how to get along with her in-laws, and have her own set of ways of speaking. In this way, the husband will not be caught in the middle.
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Treat your in-laws with sincerity towards your parents.
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To get along with your in-laws, you must lower your requirements. As the saying goes, the higher the expectations, the greater the disappointment. The connection between you and your mother-in-law is your husband, and this bond is far less than blood relatives, in-laws, relatives and even interests, she is an outsider after all, so you can't ask too much for her.
Keep your mouth shut. When we get along with our mother-in-law, we can't say whatever we want to say and say whatever we want like we do with our mother, we must filter through our brains. Say less that should be said, and don't say anything that shouldn't be said.
Second, let's suppress our temper. As the saying goes, impulse is the devil. If you are unhappy or angry with your mother-in-law's actions, you have to suppress your temper and tell yourself to be calm, you can tell your husband about your dissatisfaction and let your husband say it.
You say she once, she will remember it for a lifetime, her son said her, the next minute will be fine, this is the gap. Third, it is necessary to reconcile habits. Two people from different families have different living habits and eating habits, and if they are not in the same place, such as the south and the north, or even different places in the same south or north, the living habits are even different.
We must learn to reconcile our habits, see less if you are not used to it, and eat less if you are not used to it. Fourth, we must learn to be patient. In daily life, try not to talk about her, and if you want to say it, you have to say it tactfully, but you can't avoid her from talking about you, then you have to be patient, just don't hear it.
Think about your patience for the sake of your husband and children, after all, she is her husband's mother, the child's grandmother, and the child still expects her to help you bring it, if she has money, there is money to be made, so you can bear it.
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Keep a sense of distance, talk about things, don't be too emotional, and talk about feelings too hurtful. If it's a big event, it's best to let your husband come forward. On other small things, it's best not to care, put it if you can, and solve it with money if you can solve it with money.
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First of all, this question is not difficult, put your mentality right, and treat your in-laws as your parents, and you will get along harmoniously and naturally.
If you think about it the other way, if your husband treats your parents better than yourself, are you also very happy in your heart, and your parents will also be very pleased? So this kind of mutual problem is mainly to empathize, don't always look at what others have paid for you, first look at what you have done, and then ask others.
So how to get along with your in-laws, how you usually get along with your parents, how you get along with your in-laws, you can get along with them as you like!
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This problem is very complicated, according to your in-laws' personality, habits for targeted catering and opposition, and in-laws relationship there is a big knowledge and tricks called boiled frogs, when they get used to your personality and hobbies you can also accept their habits, there will be a balance, at that time it will be good. In fact, the relationship between in-laws is not complicated, the main thing is that you can manage it well. Use your brain, for example, if they do something wrong and you are angry, what should you do?
Is it better to lose your temper directly to make yourself feel comfortable, which you get more, or to be patient and reason with them and complain about grievances?
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I think that when you get along with your in-laws, you have to be as if you were entering a new company, you have to be diligent, talk less and do more, and when you slowly find out everyone's temper, you can be targeted. Avoid those who are hot-tempered, and avoid things that are prone to contradictions, so that there is harmony.
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To get along with your in-laws, you should first put your position clearly, and secondly, put yourself in the other person's shoes.
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The younger generation should do their duty. Filial piety to the elderly is the obligation of children, daughter-in-law filial piety to in-laws should also be a thing, so we must honor them, father-in-law since he had a cerebral infarction, inconvenient to move before living with us, although he will drop vegetables when eating, drool when laughing, will not flush when going to the toilet, but I have never disliked him, he is also a strong person when he is in good health, if he is not sick and unable to move will not live with us, so we should be more concerned and considerate of them, Do your part.
Try not to let the in-laws, educational philosophy and living habits are different, and the views on children's education are inconsistent. And the child will increasingly not understand the mother. The child should bring it himself.
If you live with your mother-in-law, I think you can bear it, after all, there will be a certain generation gap between people in the two generations, which is a normal thing, and I guess there will be, so if you feel unhappy, then take a look at whether you can bear it or not, just reason with him, right? If not, forget it.
As soon as I got married, I really respected them, and I bought whatever I bought for my parents, and sometimes I didn't even buy it for my mother, but bought it for my mother-in-law, for example, I bought two gold necklaces for Mother's Day, one for each person. But my mother said, she has it, I didn't want it, I bought it for my mother-in-law, my mother-in-law said put it there, didn't say anything else, there are many examples, don't say it one by one, just talk about the cause of the matter, my husband is a mother-lover complex, for example, I don't do anything as good as my mother, just got married and kept arguing, just because of housework, and no matter what happens in my family, my husband will talk to his mother, big and small. For example, one thing that the two of us discussed, buy a small washing machine, convenient for washing diapers or something, said that it was okay, but when it was time to eat at noon, his mother knew about it, and did not let him buy it, saying that it could not be washed and so on, in fact, he was afraid of spending money, but I want to tell you that my mother-in-law has never given us a penny since we got married, and every time we eat something and other expenses are our own (my mother-in-law has money, not no money, the old couple has a monthly salary of seven or eight thousand, more than us, and our sister-in-law's family eats at his mother's house all year round, Later, in the end, I didn't buy this washing machine, and when I was confined, my sister saw that my mother was tired and bought one. >>>More
If, according to what you said, if the mother-in-law dislikes the daughter-in-law, then the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law had better live separately, live separately, and go to see the mother-in-law during the New Year's holiday.
You have to accept reality! Now the problem is that if you get married, you have to accept the reality of living with his mother unconditionally! There's nothing you can do to change that! You can't really say that you want to drive her mother away, after all, you don't have the right to do this, and others will scold you! >>>More