Why do Chinese parents like to compare their children?

The reason why Chinese parents pin their expectations on their children is, to a certain extent, to extend their expectations for certain concrete things to their children. For example, the mother has always had a ** dream, when she has a child, she will guide her child in the direction of **. This is just one of the expectations, and there will be a variety of different expectations, and all these expectations are based on the helplessness of being surpassed under the trend of comparison, so she pinned her expectations on her children to make up for her own shortcomings.

If you can't realize your own wishes, you always hope that future generations can realize them for yourself. In fact, you need to be what you want your child to become. If you expect your child to be a thinker, you should be patient and also willing to think.

Instead of only caring about money-related topics, only caring about the little things in front of you. Have a plan, have a goal, and learn to think. If you expect your child to be a person who loves to learn, then you should be a person who loves to learn.

When you have time, you learn, not enjoy. If you expect your child to be a sports person, then you should be a sports person. If you lie on the couch every day, does the child run out to exercise alone?

What do you think? Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

Children are the continuation of their parents' lives and the inheritance of their bloodline. Therefore, parents always want their children to be better and better than themselves. Parents become anxious when their children don't perform as well as they want.

Parents are even anxious as if they are not satisfied, and worry all day long. This is what many mothers are thinking about today.

However, in school, positive comparisons can provide children with motivation to learn, while negative comparisons can distract children. Nowadays, in the inconsequential aspects of the calculation, gradually distort the original correct three views, the situation of comparison has been common in the campus, on the one hand, the child's values have not been correctly guided, on the other hand, the campus environment has not paid attention to the construction and management of this angle, and now this wind of comparison has blown to the kindergarten.

Due to the gradual improvement of economic conditions, many parents are willing to invest more in their children when they are early children, giving their children the best toys and the best snacks. This kind of wholeheartedly good attitude for children is understandable, but these kindergarten children are in the most innocent period, and their own concepts are easily influenced by their parents.

In fact, the children themselves do not have this sense of comparison, nor do they understand what this kind of comparison means, and more parents are dominant.

The most obvious harm brought about by this misguidance of parents is excessive money awareness, and children will recognize expensive and brand-name things more in their minds, and at the same time despise and spit on those seemingly cheap and ordinary items, which in turn leads to the people who use these items.

Secondly, this kind of comparison will also bring great pressure to the parents of the child, the family behind each child is different, there are wealthy parents who have a relatively poor life, each parent sends their children to kindergarten to learn in the hope that the child has a good learning environment, rather than to develop the habit of comparing with each other.

1. Sense of competition.

In the process of children's growth, they have a simple sense of competition, and when they see that others have it, they want to have it, and if they don't, they feel that they are missing something compared with others, and they feel uncomfortable, a budding competitive psychology.

Healthy competitive psychology is conducive to the healthy development of children, and the width of the code is not a completely bad thing for children, which can stimulate children to be motivated and strive to get the resources they should have.

2. Imitate your family.

Parents sometimes unconsciously say, "My friend bought a new mobile phone, it has a large memory, and it is beautiful, and I want to buy one too." "Today, I saw that the coats of the neighbor's children are so beautiful, much better than yours." ”

Parents intentionally or unconsciously compare with others, and children will also compare everywhere, not wanting to be willing to live behind others, comparing themselves, and also have a yearning for better things and keep them for themselves.

3. I want to attract attention.

What should I do if my child starts to love comparison? Parents do these 3 points to help children get rid of the psychology of comparison:

1. Accept and understand children.

Affirm your child's aesthetic concept, what you want is good, but we can appreciate it, we don't have to have it. There are so many good things in the world that we can't take them all for ourselves.

First affirm and accept the child's emotions, let the child's emotions be placed, and then the parents make suggestions, it will be more conducive to acceptance, directly refuse to say no, the child will turn the corner for a while, and will fight according to reason.

2. Distinguish whether there is any value.

Discuss with your child whether they really need to have it, and if they already have similar items at home, we use them well, and it's just a waste to buy them, then we can not buy them. If not, the child's reasonable requirements can be appropriately accommodated as the family's financial conditions allow.

If the items that the child wants are too expensive for the ordinary family to afford, tell him frankly: "If you buy what you want, our family's life will be affected, and even enter a state of financial deficit, and we will not be able to make ends meet." "By the way, popularize the concept of financial management to children and achieve rational consumption.

3. Establish a correct comparison psychology for banquets.

The psychology of comparison is correctly guided to the aspect of rational competition, not in material enjoyment, than magnanimity, but in other spiritual aspects, such as spiritual wealth, academic excellence, there is a saying that "no new clothes than ambition," inner wealth is richer than simple material enjoyment.

At the same time, tell children that even if we don't have strong enough financial ability now, we hope that through future efforts and struggles, we can create better happiness, and we also have the ability to help others, and sometimes it is happier to give than to receive.

1. First of all, we must figure out the cause of children's comparison, children want to get more attention, and to get the attention of others, they must have a sense of superiority over others, and the origin of this sense of superiority is the child's demand for materials, so it will naturally compare.

2. Once the child does not have this sense of superiority, he will form an inferiority complex, so try to meet the child's material needs within the scope of his ability, so that the child can reduce this inferiority complex, and also need to correctly guide the child to look at the psychology of comparison; Parents should start from all aspects to help their children build real self-confidence. Children like to compare, in fact, it is a manifestation of lack of self-confidence, which is reflected in extreme external ways, and their vanity is greatly satisfied by their bright appearance.

3. Parents should not let their children get used to relying on the family's money to spend, and let their children try to participate in some social activities and get corresponding remuneration. Spending the money they earn in this way can further let them know that money is not easy to come by.

4. Educate children to establish a correct outlook on life and values. Find excellent learning role models for children, such as a positive image of hard-working students in the same class. They can also participate in poor rural assistance activities, so that they can experience the different difficulties and adversities of other children's lives, so as to cherish the existing happy life.

5. The child's continuous request for a famous brand should be decisively refused, so that the child can work hard to achieve a certain goal and then satisfy him, so that he knows that the things he asks for are not easy to come by, and learn to cherish them.

6. Encourage children to make up for the difference in this comparison psychology from other aspects, such as studying hard, when the child's academic performance is very good, it will naturally reduce the requirements for material needs, because his focus has shifted.

7. Don't spoil your children too much, some parents end up making irreparable mistakes in order to satisfy their children's selfish desires. Parents should also establish a correct education model for themselves, loving children is not doting on children, not giving what they want, and meeting all requirements, in the end it will only make children become bottomless pit and more greedy and unsatisfied. Constant requests for name tags should be resolutely rejected.

How to guide children not to compare and not to be vain.

1. I think that whether it is a rich family or an ordinary family, we should educate our children to establish a correct and healthy view of money and consumption.

2. First of all, we must clearly tell the child that the money is earned by the labor of the parents and through their own hard work, so that the child knows that money is not easy to come by from an early age and must be obtained through his own labor.

The second is to teach children to distinguish between the two concepts of "want" and "need" when children are consuming, teach children to be grateful for what they already have, set a limit for children's consumption, and strictly enforce it.

The situation of each family is different, and the children's cognition is different, so it is still necessary to cultivate children to establish correct concepts from an early age according to their actual situation. The above are some suggestions on how to educate children not to compare and not to be vain.

Introduction: Many parents like to compare their children very much, but they don't know that it will have a lot of impact on their children.

If parents always compare in front of their children, children will have some bad emotions. Parents will get together during the Chinese New Year, at this time parents will want their children to perform a talent, if the child performs well, it will win the praise of others, but do not take into account those children who have no talent. Children are developing people will be different, at this time do not compare other people's children with their own children, it will only have a great impact on children, we must understand the evolution of children.

Parents don't know that their children will be affected, you have to think about it, if your child has no way to show his talents, the child's psychology will not be hurt, don't think about saying that the child is still developing, you should learn more from others, which will bring great difficulties to the child.

Although the Chinese New Year is a day of reunion, then at this special time, we must not let the child have this situation, nor can the child feel very warm, parents must make adjustments in time, so that the child can face it better. Parents should not always compare in front of their children, which will also make children have no way to know their abilities, and must not let themselves appear vanity, vanity is what every parent has, so if you want your children to become excellent, you must pay attention to the process. Many children will have some can't keep up with the phenomenon when they are young, at this time parents should not be discouraged, must slowly encourage the child, the child will work very hard after encouragement, will feel that they must be able parents not to dislike their children, some parents see that the child has no way to win glory for themselves in front of others, parents are very angry, at this time you have to learn to empathize, can not treat their children with this emotion.

It will make children also have the psychology of comparison, it is easy to make children become very stingy, and there are conflicts with other children, which will affect children's interpersonal communication, and it is easy to make children have colored eyes.

It will also make the child feel particularly stressed, and the child will also learn to compare, and then the child may not develop well, and will not pay attention to other aspects of development, only know blindly compare.

It will make the child become very inferior, the child will hate his parents very much, and even the child feels that his parents do not love him at all, and the child will be very introverted and will become submissive.

In fact, I personally think that most of the comparison psychology will be there, but people are different, and the places where everyone compares are different. Just like some people will compare dresses, some people may compare work, and when they reach a certain age and have children, the place where everyone compares may be children. <>

Parents may not feel that there is anything wrong with their behavior, but it does have a certain impact on their children. I believe that most children should have heard how good other people's children are from childhood to adulthood! Parents often compare other people's children with their own children when they say such things, and then they will blame their own children, and they will feel why their children are not as good as others.

But people themselves are different, not all children are so good, after all, excellent only a few, most of them are ordinary people, parents are often too demanding of their children, so that it will invisibly give children a lot of pressure, and children growing up in such an environment is very detrimental to their children. From a child's point of view, I am very disgusted that parents compare themselves to others, because after each comparison, I will be blamed, and I must be unhappy. Next, I will talk about why parents can't accept that their children are ordinary.

1. Pin your hopes on your children. You must know that today's parents pin all their hopes on their children, so parents' expectations for their children are relatively high. And parents really pay a lot for their children's education, so they will feel that they should have some achievements if they spend so much on their children's education, so they can't accept that their children are ordinary.

2. Envy other people's children. Of course, another point is that when you look at other people's children, you will be very envious, and you will feel that your children are not inferior to others, and you will feel that your children can be as good as him. So even if you are very ordinary, you can't accept that your child is ordinary.