was looked down upon by his parents and his family relationship broke down

There are difficult songs to sing, in real life, there are not many happy family relationships like on TV, you can try to communicate with your parents, you are already an adult, maybe you will soon establish your own small family, the future life may be very beautiful, so don't become pessimistic and misanthropic for some setbacks in the relationship, take the initiative to communicate with them about your inner feelings, you can understand each other the best, even if you can't do it temporarily, don't be discouraged, you have to relax your mind, Take life in stride.

Isn't this me, the old me to be exact?

After listening to your story, I was very emotional, because your experience is so similar to mine. When I was a child, as long as I did something wrong, my dad also came up and beat me, so I was also afraid of my dad when I was a child, but because he was not at home because he worked in the field all the year round, so most of my affairs were in charge of my mother, and my mother was also a violent temper, as long as she made a mistake, she didn't take it lightly (directly to the face, sometimes feather dusters, shoes, and hit when she grabbed something) Sometimes when she was eating, she got angry, and she also pumped directly on my head with chopsticks, (I don't know why, it's all small things I feel) So when I was a child, I was very scar about them, I was with my grandma because she loved me very much.

Because my dad is away all the year round, I almost don't have any feelings for him, I feel that this dad is very strange, I remember writing an essay again in junior high school, it was a letter to ask to write to the family, although I wrote it to my cousin later (hehe, I really have nothing to say to my parents), but during the writing of the essay, I thought of my father who was far away from home, and it seemed that there was a little more emotion. One day in the third year of junior high school, I came home from the week vacation, I saw a back in the kitchen, I was stunned for a moment, after a few seconds, I reacted, called Dad, and then I didn't know what to do when I was at home with him for a while, every time I spoke, he spoke first, he asked a question and I answered, I hated this feeling myself. Later, we became stranger and stranger, and I would rather spend more time with my mother.

But once, when I saw his white hair on his temples and a little rickety on his back, his nose was a little sore. After that, I was very honest with him and tried to listen to him and do things. Later, he also called back from other places, although every time my mother spoke, and the words of talking about me gradually increased, I realized that he still cared about me.

Gradually, we also talked once in a while, and he was not so fierce to me, and some things were also made up of my own mind. After that, my prejudice against my parents became less deep, and I began to feel sorry for them when I thought of them working hard all day to earn money outside, so sometimes I also helped my mother with some housework. My relationship with them has gradually improved.

In fact, I don't think your situation is very bad, they blame you and scold you in the hope that you are good (I believe you can understand, if you can't stand it, just take it as nonsense, don't take it to heart), I think you can be more considerate of them, think about it from their standpoint, you yourself know that their starting point is good, communicate with them more (it's their business that they don't listen, at least you say it, let them know what you think, don't hold it in your heart).

I'm 20 years old, and I think we can talk about it and add me.

That time is not enough, can I send a private message? I think I can help you.

Sympathy... Our situation can be said to be 90% the same, but our thoughts are completely different I used to have you in the same state as you are, but now I can see it

I have some suggestions for dealing with family relationships:

1. Be humble, don't be a needle to each other about everything, give each other more opportunities to talk, think more about each other, avoid unnecessary conflicts, and family affection is priceless.

2. A surprise creates a dramatic effect, and often many contradictions are lost in jokes.

3. Divide responsibilities, assume your own responsibilities and obligations, do more for the family, and think less for yourself.

4. Dualized communication, many conflicts are due to the lack of communication between family members, which exacerbates the conflicts.

5. Be open-minded, life is short, we should create a harmonious society and a harmonious family, think about everything, don't worry about everything, don't intrigue, don't be greedy, be open-minded, and be grateful to live a relaxed and happy life.

Seeing your matter, I am very sympathetic, and my heart is also mixed.

In fact, in Chinese family relationships, situations like yours are not uncommon, and it seems that this phenomenon is still very common.

So, don't be sad, let alone despair, most men in China have come this way.

In fact, looking back, we can understand it.

In the early days, China was a typical patriarchal society, and the father was the only one in the family, which can be said to be self-respecting.

Its majesty is self-explanatory, and fathers certainly enjoy it. In fact, every man likes this feeling.

Moreover, a father's love for his children is self-evident, but this kind of love will not hang on the lips of fathers in China.

This kind of love can only be manifested in the majesty of the father, who makes every father want his son to be a dragon?

In this relationship, the children gradually develop a sense of fear for their father.

Once this feeling arises, it will intensify.

So much so that you are in your current situation: you are very afraid to call your father.

How to deal with it?

Now we are all adults, not children anymore.

As a child's understanding father, but the relationship has been created, how to deal with it?

I think the best way to do this is to write a letter to my father and express my inner thoughts in a true way.

Because in reality, the face-to-face communication between the two is not realistic at present, and if you fail, it may be even more heavy on your psychological shadow.

It's just because of his father's role that it is difficult for him to bow his head and beg you.

So, as long as he can see your letter, I'm sure he'll be moved to tears.

Then, choose a time in your letter to meet face-to-face.

When communicating, first admit your mistakes and give your father a step and face.

That's all there is next.