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You still have to be supported! But the child she had with someone else has nothing to do with you anymore! Because she's not part of your family anymore, and certainly not a family member of yours!
Just like a piece of land, if you plant a kind of vegetable, although the vegetable seeds are different, but after all, they are all a kind of seeds, and now the social sophistication does not seem to be as strong as in the past, he or she and you are half-brothers, of course, it depends on how you get along, it depends on how the old man educates you.
<>If you follow your mother, then you are a brother, if you follow your father, then you have to recognize him as a brother, and you can not recognize him, because your mother has divorced, if you follow your father, then the half-father born to the mother can't help but feel some emotion in his heart, this is the 21st century, and the human heart is still so old, whether it is a half-father or a half-brother, it should be called a brother and sister. From a genetic point of view, half-siblings and homosiologists can't be shirked by anyone, you live in your mother's womb for ten months, and he lives in your mother's womb for ten months, and you both came to this world in the same place, how can you say that it doesn't matter? The emotions of the previous generation, you can't control the younger generations, and the broken threads are still connected.
Besides, don't be immobile in ancient times, ancient times there were many aunts' daughters married to their uncle's son, or uncle's daughter married to their aunt's son, aunt and cousin to marry, is it allowed now? We live in modern terms, and we have to use modern words. Half-brothers are related by blood.
The tadpole is the blood relation, the potatoes and big trees that grow in the earth, although they all grow in a piece of land, they have no half-dime relationship, on the contrary, the two pieces of geography are planted with a variety of big trees, except for the land, the varieties are the same, the brothers and sisters are the closest brothers and sisters with exactly the same blood, and the half-brothers and half-brothers are brothers and sisters who are only half related by blood. Confined to a patrilineal society.
The worldly conception is very.
But it depends on the extent of the relationship. If you don't move, it's like a stranger, no different from ordinary people! There's an old saying that says it well.
Relatives should get closer and closer. That's it! In modern society, there are too many things like this, which can only show that society is progressing!
It's good to get used to it!
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If your mother invites you to go, then you can go over, because that child is also your younger sibling, you can try to get along, if you really don't get along, then you can separate.
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I think you should live with your mom. Although she has children, she is related to you by blood.
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After your mother remarried and had a child, a large part of whether you want to live with her is whether you are willing to accept your new father and whether he is willing to accept your existence.
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After your mother remarries, you can follow her to live in a new family and get along with the new family, which is equivalent to the care of one more family. If you're older, you can live independently, and you can live outside the home.
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I feel like if you can accept a brand new family, you can live with her, and if you feel embarrassed, you can live on your own.
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Depending on your mother's age, if you are still young and have no hostility towards your mother, you can live with your mother.
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If you already have your own financial ability, you can not follow her to live with a new family, which is good for both parties.
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Kid, I see your question. I think you should be resolute in supporting your mother. Your mother is remarried, and having children can increase the stability of the family.
At the same time, your mother and stepfather form a new family, and it is also fair to the stepfather to have children, and they have the right to have a crystallization of love.
Tell a real-life example. In the 80s, the reform and opening up had entered thousands of households, and night markets were just beginning to become popular. After my cousin-in-law divorced, I married a man I liked with my 6-year-old daughter, and both of them worked in the unit.
In order to subsidize the family, it was discussed to use the evening time to start a small business in the night market.
The night market is downstairs from his house, the man does some preliminary preparations, takes boiling water, helps move tables, chairs and benches, and the woman is mainly responsible for greeting guests at night. This lasted for more than half a year, and one night, when there were more guests, my cousin asked her husband to bring another bottle of boiling water an hour later. Time passed quickly in the lively night market, my cousin's husband was watching TV, or maybe he was attracted by the plot on TV, he asked his cousin's daughter to send the thermos to her mother, and it happened that the guests walked away at that time, not very many, and Cousin-in-law Juan thought it would be better to run by herself.
On the stairs home, she saw her daughter sitting on the stairs crying, the hot water bottle that fell on the stairs burned her daughter's calf, and the leg was burned with big bubbles, and her cousin's heart was bleeding, and she carried her daughter home. At that time, her husband was still watching TV, and her cousin-in-law couldn't stand it anymore, so even if she liked it, she decided to divorce her husband for the sake of her daughter. She believes that her daughter's scalding this time was completely caused by her husband's indifference, and if it was his daughter, she would not let her child go to deliver water alone at such a young age.
And you, who are 21 years old this year, are not the age of the little girl in the example just now, and there is basically no problem of how to get along with your stepfather. Besides, in a few years, you will step into society, leave your mother, you will fall in love, you will have your own family, you will have your own life, so who will accompany your mother? For your mother, if you remarry and have your own children, the remarried family will be much more stable, and you don't have to worry about your mother's happiness in the second half of your life, and you don't have to worry about your mother's illness and no one cares about it.
Mother has her own child, that is your blood family, that is, your own relatives, you used to love your mother and care for your mother, and in the future, the three of you love her and care for her, this is a good thing for you and your mother, you should bless her!
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I don't think this problem is so complicated, you are only 21 years old now, your task now is to study well, take care of yourself, don't think about other things so much, you are still young, your task now is to take care of yourself, study well, and have a future to be productive, so you don't have to worry.
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Summary. Then there's the second factor that affects how you live together: mom.
Whether your mother has the ability to bring you to live with you, and whether she is willing to live with you. Whether there is a spare room in the house for you to live in, and whether the relationship between the mother and her husband is stable. Whether the mother has a say in the family.
These factors all affect whether you can go to your mother's house and live well. If your mother has the ability to appeal, it will at least lay a solid foundation for you to live at your mother's house. Your stepfather will be more lenient with you, too.
My mother remarried and had a child, should I go to live with her?
Secondly, there are two factors that affect you living together with Lu Younu: Mom. Whether your mother has the ability to bring you to live with you, and whether she is willing to live with you.
Whether there is a spare room in the house for you to live in, and whether the relationship between the mother and her husband is stable. Whether the mother has a say in the family. These factors all affect whether you can go to your mother's house and live well.
If your mother has the ability to appeal, it will at least lay a solid foundation for you to live at your mother's house. Your stepfather will be more lenient with you, too.
The last influencing factor: your stepfather. Does your stepfather really accept you from the bottom of his heart and is willing to live with you or just to please your mother and take you over to live with him with a clear conscience.
The stepdad is the one that affects the quality of your life in mom. I have a cousin whose parents divorced when she was 11 years old, and I told my sister to live with her mother, and in front of my cousin's mother, my stepfather was very kind to my cousin, and he gave my cousin everything delicious first, acting like a good father. But as long as my cousin's mother was not in front of me, my father began to pinch my cousin and abuse my cousin in various ways, often pinching my cousin's arms, thighs and other less obvious places.
Not only that, but he often threatened his cousin not to tell his mother and intimidated his cousin, saying that his cousin was a drag oil bottle and no one wanted it. Later, my cousin's mother found out about her husband's behavior, and in order to maintain the marriage, my cousin's mother had no choice but to send my cousin to live at my grandmother's house.
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1. Impulsive marriage is never durable, every woman must be cautious about her brother's marriage, her happiness can not be pinned on others, she must think carefully and calmly before getting married, especially this kind of divorced man with children, you must know more, not only to understand his personality, but also to understand his previous relationship with his ex-wife, to understand whether the children will accept themselves, and then consider whether it is suitable to form a family.
Second, if it is not the flesh that fell from his body, there is no blood relationship, and there is no trace of cordial feelings, how can a person who remarries treat each other's children as his own? People who remarry, in the matter of treating children, as long as in general, on the surface, the past is okay, mother-in-law, mother-in-law, which one? So, don't expect the other person to treat your child as if it were their own.
Parent-child relationship also needs to be cultivated, and the child can only be kissed when he is raised by his side.
In fact, it is normal to think about it, if the husband and wife divorce, the child only lives with one party, and the other party does not see the child for a long time. After the divorce, the party who does not have children will only get farther and farther away from the children, because the children are not around, and they have not brought them up.
In addition, if this party has another child, the time and energy are focused on the child in front of him, and the more he pays, the more he loves, and his heart is full of the child in front of him. How can there be time to think and love the child who is not around?
Generally, the more you pay for your child, the more it hurts, the more you see your child, the more it hurts, and the less you pay and often don't see it, the less distressed. Human nature is like this, not to say who is good and who is bad, but all feelings need to be managed, even if it is their own children, the feelings that have not been contacted and managed will gradually become strange over time, and only when they are often together can they have feelings. The reason why people are affectionate is that there is no replacement, and once there is a replacement, they can be forgotten.
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If the child is remarried, the child can live with the mother, and if the mother agrees, it is okay.
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It depends on who the child is awarded to.
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It is more likely that they will bring you to live with them, because mothers generally feel sorry for their children.
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The possibility is still relatively large, because the mother also loves the child very much and wants the child to accompany her.
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If your mother loves you very much and considers your feelings, then you can also follow her to start a new life.
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I will, because I love this person, I love everything about this person, including children.
How to treat both parties in a remarried family with children.
Treat each other's children fairly, and be slightly biased towards each other's children! Remarriage is a rebuilding of the capacity to love. If a remarried person wants to have a harmonious family, he must work hard to change himself, adapt to a new role, and abandon the following 4 pathological psychology:
"Comparative psychology", that is, in the couple's interaction in a restructured family, comparing the current spouse with the previous spouse is often the fuse of many family conflicts.
defensive psychology", not being honest enough in dealings, "keeping a hand" in terms of economy and property, or wanting to control both parties, being too sensitive in terms of feelings, unable to get out of the shadow of the first failure, and suspicious of everything.
favoritism", such as counting each other's children and favoring one's own children; "Inferiority complex", some people (especially women) think that divorce is a dishonorable thing because of the failure of their first marriage, feel inferior, blindly give to the current one, and lose themselves.
Do you have to have another child if both parties to the remarried family have children?
In most cases, few of the reconstituted families have children. There is a lot of pressure in society nowadays, it is easy to have children, it is even more difficult to raise children, and raising children is more of a responsibility, rather than for your feelings, to become the so-called bond of your feelings. has experienced some emotional ups and downs, and should know how to cherish it.
If the remarried family has its own ghost and has to rely on the children to maintain it, this remorseful relationship is estimated to not last long. Having another child is actually extremely irresponsible. Manage your marriage well.
Maintain the relationship between the members of the restructured family. And if you have the financial means, the energy and the time, you can consider having another child.
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I think that in the closed situation of being able to talk about love, then it is definitely necessary to have a child, because this is the responsibility of two people who are trembling together, and if you don't have children, then there is no need to get married.
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It is also necessary for a remarried family to have children at least one child that belongs to you.
to the spouse who remarried (the husband and wife are the first heirs).
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Child, you are right in your mind and will not hurt the mother. >>>More
Hehe......It's all like this, in the eyes of parents, we will always be children, there are some things we can discuss with our families, reasonable parents will agree, what do you think, tell your family that you have grown up, some things you can decide, but some things still have to listen to your parents, as the saying goes, don't listen to the elderly, suffer in front of you, hehe......I hope you have a great time
Don't be sad! Everyone will leave their mother sooner or later, and you still have a long way to go, so you have to hold on! Go on with optimism! Your mother doesn't want you to cry now, be strong! (Hug.)