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Anonymous users2024-02-15A boy with a low EQ finally met a girl he liked, and the two of them just started dating. Once the girl was sick, and the boy accompanied her to the infirmary for a drip. Ten minutes passed, twenty minutes passed, and there was no movement.
Thinking of breaking the silence, the boy asked, "Is it cold?" "Cold" "Cold, I'll cover you?"
The girl blushes and whispers "yes" and the boy gets up... Cover the drip bottle with your hand.
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Anonymous users2024-02-14A friend told his son today that his son was sent by charging his mobile phone.
Something is wrong, little girl.
On the subway, a deaf and dumb little girl sold me his key pendant, which was only 10 yuan each.
The little girl was surprised, smiled and said, "Thank you!" "I went to sell to other people again.
Wait, something seems ...... something is wrong
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Anonymous users2024-02-13It was snowing, and I went out to see an uncle fall.
I went over and asked, "Uncle, my monthly salary is less than 2,000 yuan, can I help you up?" ”
Uncle: "Young man, you go, I'll wait a while."
I was so moved that I quickly said, "Uncle, there's a Ferrari over there."
The uncle also said excitedly: "You young man. It's quite real, don't leave me to be a witness, and buy you a car to go to work and drive ...... when you're done”
Although the weather is cold, the uncle's words are warm and full of positive energy.
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Anonymous users2024-02-121. I received a ** from abroad today!
I panicked when I looked at the caller ID, and then cautiously asked, "Can I help you?" ”
As a result, a sentence came from the microphone: "Damn, I made a mistake, I made a mistake!" ”
2. Today, when I applied for a job in a foreign company, the interviewer asked me: "Why did you choose to work in a foreign company?" ”
I said to the gods: "Master Yi's long skills to control Yi!" ”
3. Student A: Yesterday I made a dish with wires on the pot ball.
Student B: That's good news!
Student A: Why?
Student B: This means that the cafeteria has started to brush the pots.
4. Humans can't stop teachers from assigning homework!! The teacher brought over a dozen rolls and put them on the table, and when they left, the students said in unison, "Teacher, your dozen!" ”
The teacher looked back and smiled: "It's your dozen." ”
5. When a classmate took a taxi back to school, he complained to his brother: "Your car is so boring, you don't even have a **." ”
Brother: "Then you'd better take a fire truck and a sprinkler truck." ”
6. A couple was playing in the park and accidentally found an old man in disheveled clothes behind them. The girl pulled her boyfriend and said, "Hurry up, there is someone to eat behind", and the old man followed closely.
The girl thought: Oh my God! It was so difficult, so he stopped and said coldly to the old man: "No money! ”
The old man smiled. "I know you don't have any money, my wallet is here."
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Anonymous users2024-02-11One day, the geography teacher asked the students to answer yes, the river flows to **?
A student stood up and sang, "The Great Zhaocha River flows eastward."
The teacher ignored him, and then said, "How many stars are there in the sky?"
The classmate sang again: The stars in the sky are in the Beidou.
The teacher was angry: You get out of here!
Student: Let's go.
The teacher said helplessly: Are you sick?
Student: You have me, I have it all!
Teacher: Say one more thing...... try
Student: When the road is uneven, I roar!
Teacher: Do you believe that I beat you?
Student: Shoot when it's time to ......
The teacher is angry: I will let you quit school!
Student: Storm Kyushu!
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Anonymous users2024-02-10One day the animals smelled very bad in front of the Guan Gong Temple.
The snake said: I am so young that I can't put such a stinky fart in Huaiqin, it must be a cow.
Niu said: I am Kai Mingfan who eats grass and will not let such a stinky fart.
The pig said: Whoever stares at hail and farts will blush.
Suddenly, Guan Gong rushed out, beat the pig away and said: How many times have I said it, I am born to blush.
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Anonymous users2024-02-091.How many brothers does Aladdin have?
A: 3 pcs. Ala A, Ala B, Ala C.
2.Why does Little Red Riding Hood have no chests!
…Because her grandmother was eaten by wolves ......
3.One day, the little white rabbit was walking in the forest and met the big bad wolf, the big bad wolf didn't say a word and grabbed the little white rabbit and hit it, and the little white rabbit asked "Why did you hit me?" The big bad wolf said "I told you not to wear a hat, I told you not to wear a hat".
The next day, the little white rabbit wore a hat and walked in the forest, and met the big bad wolf, the big bad wolf didn't say a word and grabbed the little white rabbit and beat it, and the little white rabbit asked, "Why do you still beat me when I wear a hat?" The big bad wolf said "I told you to wear a hat, I told you to wear a hat".
After being beaten, the little white rabbit thought that it was not a way to go on like this, so he ran to the tiger king and complained, "The king, the king, the big bad wolf bullied me, he beat me when I wore a hat, and he beat me if I didn't wear a hat."
After listening to the cry of the little white rabbit, the tiger king said, "I know, I will talk to the big bad wolf".
After the little white rabbit left, the tiger king called the big bad wolf, "Why are you hitting the little white rabbit".
The big bad wolf "wants to hit him for no reason".
Tiger King: "If you want to beat him, you have to find a better excuse, for example, if you ask him to find you a girl, and he finds a beautiful one, you say you want to be ugly." He came looking for an ugly one, and you said you wanted to be pretty. It's never too late to fight like this."
Big Bad Wolf "......
Tiger King: "Or if you ask him to find you a beautiful woman, he finds a fat one and you say you want to be thin, and he finds a thin one and you say you want to be fat, isn't there a reason to beat him?" ”
The big bad wolf said yes again and again, but he didn't expect the conversation between the tiger king and the big bad wolf to be heard by the little white rabbit outside the door.
On the third day, the little white rabbit was walking in the forest and met the big bad wolf.
Big bad wolf "Little White Rabbit, go find me a girl".
White Rabbit: "Do you want to be beautiful or ugly?" ”
The big bad wolf thought, "Hey, how does he know what I want to do," and then he says, "Forget it, you go find me a beautiful woman."
White Rabbit: "Do you want a fat or skinny one?" ”
The big bad wolf scratched his ears and cheeks and paced in place twice, grabbed the little white rabbit and hit "I told you not to wear a hat, I told you not to wear a hat...
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Anonymous users2024-02-08A couple quarreled on the street, and the girl slapped her boyfriend hard!
In order to save face, the man shouted to the girl: "If you have the ability, you can slap me again!" ”
The girlfriend did not hesitate to slap him again.
The man paused and said, "Since you are so obedient, I will spare you." ”
Hehe, a man and a woman sit on a park bench and fall in love, and the woman suddenly wants to fart.
So the woman said to the man, "I learn the cuckoo call, don't you hear it?"
The man said, "Yes! All right!
So, the woman happily farted under the cover of the birdsong of the "cuckoo cuckoo".
Then the woman asks the man: Is it like?
Think it's funny? And many more
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Anonymous users2024-02-07Once upon a time I saw a handsome guy on the street, and I said that he wouldn't do anything with him, and as a result, he died the next day...
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Anonymous users2024-02-06Have you ever heard a story about a big pig saying that there is a little pig saying no?
It is possible to open an online store. Or play online games to make money, or you can go to help others guard the Internet café If you think these are a bit depraved. >>>More
Haha, this dude! Who says you don't have merit? I don't know about you, but I think it's good for you to have the courage to ask questions and ask people to help you solve them! >>>More
Your problem is quite serious, first, you should face yourself, don't always feel that you can't do anything, and have confidence in yourself. Second, set some goals for yourself, even if the goals are small, start little by little, so that you will slowly get used to it, remove your inertia, and then set off in the big direction. Third, communicate more with your family, after all, they have rich social experience and may be able to get something from them that you need. >>>More
First of all, junior high school students and high school students must be mainly learning skills, and now is indeed the blue-collar era, as long as you have technology, it is very popular. Originally, college students were not able to find employment, and their wages could not catch up with that of a skilled worker. >>>More
It seems that I am very empty and lonely after work! In fact, many people are facing such a problem nowadays, except for mechanical work, there is no purpose, no sense of existence...In fact, you can read a book to enrich your mind, and it feels boring because of the spiritual emptiness, so watch a movie, go shopping, chat with others, share your feelings, and let your mood relax, which will be better.