Has having a second child saved many emotionless marriages?

Children are never a panacea for marital problems. On the contrary, conceiving a second child in order to save the marriage is a manifestation of extreme irresponsibility to the child and to oneself.

It's like, if a couple has a relationship problem, they don't really solve the problem, but delusionally try to save the relationship by getting married, and the result is that they hurt themselves even more. Because when you fall in love, your relationship is not good, and getting married will only be even worse. If it's a breakup when you're in a relationship, it's just a breakup.

If you break up after getting married, it will become a divorce, especially for women, divorce and remarriage are still a very difficult thing for women nowadays.

The same is true for having children, especially a second child, to save a marriage. If a man or woman has responsibility, dedication, and responsibility for the family, then when he or she has his or her first child, such a trait has already been manifested. After giving birth to a child that can't keep the heart, why do you think that giving birth to the second child can be saved?

What if he gives birth to a second child, after a few years, and repeats the same mistakes? Are you planning to have your third child? is the same as before, if you divorce at this time, you will become the parents of two children, and it is not only yourself who will be dragged down, but also two children.

Children, how beautiful they are, they are kind and cute, they will call you dad and mom, they will look forward to you coming home stupidly every day, they will throw themselves into your arms when you come home from work, they will be coquettish to you, and they will roll around, this is the child. And you, the parents of the children, should parents protect their children, right? And children should never be the ** and weight in the hands of parents?

Children are not the magic weapon to maintain marriage, what really maintains marriage is the love between two people. When a marriage can only be sustained by children, it will turn sour. A real marriage will slowly evolve into family affection with the passage of time, and become a real sense of you have me, I have you.

A broken marriage is like a broken bowl and a broken mirror, even if it is repaired, those existing cracks will still spread in the heart. As time goes by, the cracks will only become more and more, and the cracks will open more and more, and one day, a thousand gullies will be formed, from the golden boy and the girl to a pair of resentful couples, and things will develop to an irreparable place, and the two have to continue to maintain their marriage for the sake of their children, which is a kind of torture for both parties in the marriage. <>

Since the two were able to come together and enter marriage, it shows that there is an emotional foundation between the two. It's just that after getting married, in the trivial life, I was sparked by all kinds of small frictions in life. Instead of thinking about having a second child to save the relationship between the two, it is better for the two to sit down openly and honestly, and calmly express the dissatisfaction in their hearts.

Marriage is not love, love only has a sweet taste, and marriage will make you taste all the sweets and sours. After the two people who love each other enter into marriage, they will understand each other in the real sense, and only then will they start the run-in journey in the real sense of the two. Marriage has a seven-year itch, and many marriages can't get past the seven-year hurdle because the two are not considerate of each other enough.

The most important thing for two people in a marriage is to understand each other and encourage and support each other. Whether it is work or life, it will not be smooth, only when the two work together to overcome difficulties, the relationship between the two will be sublimated, rather than faded in triviality.

Not necessarily, it varies from person to person.

I have one such example around me. Mei Zi and Zhihua were introduced to each other, the man has a good family background, has a house and a car, and the elders are retired old cadres from government agencies; The woman's family has a small business and she graduated from a second-class key university.

Meizi actually had a boyfriend in college, and the two had a good relationship, but the boy was ambitious and hoped to go to the big city when he was young, but Meizi was the opposite, she preferred to find a stable job in a small city, and live a quiet and leisurely life. Later, like many couples who break up after graduating from college, graduation season has also become the breakup season for Meizi and her boyfriend.

After graduating, Meizi returned to her hometown alone and found a stable job in a state-owned enterprise. But because I couldn't forget my ex-boyfriend in my heart, I unconsciously mixed into the ranks of older unmarried young people. Under the persecution of his family, he agreed to go on a blind date with Zhihua, and later got married in a daze and gave birth to a daughter.

After a few years of married life, Meizi found that Zhihua often didn't go home at night in addition to liking to fool around with friends; Spending money lavishly, overdrawing credit cards, and sometimes even asking Meizi to help him borrow money to repay the loan, there are really no other advantages at all. Even so, Meizi feels that since she is married and has a daughter, she is a family, so she will always tolerate Zhihua's various behaviors and silently do everything for him. Meizi's favorite thing to say is "Even if he is a stone, I will cover him with heat".

Later, during a meal, Zhihua casually said that he was a daughter, and it was just right to enjoy life. Meizi asked him casually: "If I give you another son, will you not be like this."

Zhihua agreed, and provoked his father-in-law and mother-in-law to keep their mouths together.

Later, after a year of hard work, Meizi finally got her wish and gave birth to a second child, an eldest son weighing eight pounds. She thought that these efforts would be the beginning of all good things. From now on, her husband Zhihua will love him very much, and the elders in the family will pay more attention to her.

However, the fact is that before Meizi came out of confinement, Zhihua didn't return home more often, and when he called him, he began to complain that the child couldn't sleep at night, which affected his work during the day; In addition, her in-laws are old and in poor health, so the burden of taking care of the two children falls on Meizi herself. At this time, Meizi realized that she wanted to save her marriage with Zhihua by having a second child, but in fact, it had always been her wishful thinking, and she was really wrong.

Whether the marriage of two people is worth saving and whether it can be saved is really not something that can be solved by having another child. It may be more important to look at the emotional foundation of two people, and blindly giving can only hurt oneself more.

Of course, they won't have a second child, since both of them have no feelings, they must not want to have children when they are together.

If two people have a bad relationship and can't live together, they won't want to have children, because taking care of children is very troublesome, it takes a lot of money, time and energy, and they are also responsible. Only in a more harmonious family, the husband and wife will have a second child if they have a good relationship.

There are two female friends around, because there are people outside the husband, in order to stabilize the marriage, they gave birth to a second child, and both of them have both children, which can be said to be very good, but the marriage still came to an end, or divorce! There is also a buddy who wants to divorce because of the breakdown of the relationship between the husband and wife, and the woman does not agree, but she has a son regardless of it, and has three children at once, as a result, the marital relationship is not eased, but the noise is getting more and more serious! Regardless of whether it is a man or a woman, as long as there is an emotional crisis in married life, there are cracks, it is difficult to break the mirror and reunite, unless you have a tolerance that others can't reach, so don't talk about the child to maintain the marriage, otherwise it will hurt others and hurt yourself, and you are even more sorry for the child [pray].

Husband and wife have no feelings, since they already have a child, maybe there will be a second child, after all, both men and women have desires, in case the second child comes unexpectedly.

I don't think having a second child or not is not necessarily a relationship problem, sometimes the relationship between the husband and wife in a family with several children is not necessarily good, but it is just a succession of generations, especially the previous couple, there are many children in the family, and the relationship between the husband and wife is not good at all.

Of course, this situation will not be, if there is no affection between them, it is impossible to have a second child. If you have a second child, you will have an extra responsibility and an extra burden.

If you are still young and don't plan to live anymore, then let's flow it out, and be ruthless, don't be soft-hearted, otherwise the road ahead will be very difficult. If you want to have a child when the couple is not in a good relationship, then please consider these factors, is the child's father willing to share the responsibility and obligation of raising the child with you, and will he always love the child? Does the child's father have the ability to provide good conditions for your child's growth?

Is he a responsible, manly father who can provide a role model for boys and contribute to the protection of girls? If so, give birth to a child, regardless of whether you divorce in the future due to emotional discord, the child will not lose his father's love.

Couples with bad feelings also have a possibility that they give birth to children and grow up with each other in the process of raising children together, because with the relationship of children, it is likely to change the status quo of the relationship, and the relationship warms up very quickly.

In any case, if you want a more perfect life, your current husband is not a good man in your mind, then be brave, you leave a big face, and the child is still better to be disturbed, otherwise, giving birth to a child will become a big obstacle to your pursuit of a new life.

Although the relationship is not good, but you recognize your current husband's personality, have confidence in his own quality and ability, even if you can't become a husband and wife, you are willing to maintain an acquaintance or friend relationship with him, then give birth to a child, and you can gain one more relative in the future.

So, your question is also simple and complicated, in short, think about the children first, and put your own happiness first. In fact, if you think about your children, you have already grasped your own happiness.

I would have chosen not to be born.

Children are the crystallization of love, don't try to use children to save feelings. Children are independent beings, not tools.

One: If we use TA as a tool to maintain the relationship, at this time, the question will be replaced as: The relationship between the two is not good, and they are pregnant with a second child, can the relationship get better without telling the relationship to be restored to the past?

Obviously, it is impossible, at least to know why the feelings are not compatible, to find the crux of the problem, and to prescribe the right medicine.

2: If the husband and wife are not in agreement, whether the child is happy or not, in addition to material needs, whether the child's need for security and love is satisfied, as the child's mother, should know better than anyone else.

I believe that most people's childhood has experienced the scene of their parents' quarrel. In this quarrel, it is not the parties who are hurt the most, but the children who are bystanders. In unhappy families, wars between parents come and go, leaving children unprepared; In this case, it will only make the child sensitive, they are easily irritable, and they will also become less confident because of the lack of parental love.

At this time, having a child is not responsible for the second child.

Three: the key to happiness lies in independence, two people are the icing on the cake, absolutely not to pin happiness on another person, that is equivalent to gambling. You're happy, and so are your children.

Children are very sensitive, and the feelings of husband and wife, children must have sensitivity. The best thing to do is to make yourself happy, and that's pretty much the only way.

If you are sure that you can't get by, don't ask for the child, the child can't be used as a machine to repair the relationship between two people, and in the end the mess is still not together, born in an unhappy family is the most affected by the child, and in the end there is either no father or mother to accompany you, and the relationship is always missing.

If it were me, I don't think I would have the courage to give birth to this child. Because the relationship between husband and wife is not good, it has affected a child, and I don't want another child to come into this world to suffer.

My opinion is based on the position that I don't want children, because I think that children are more difficult to discipline and I don't have the confidence to teach them well. The second reason is that the pressure on people is too great now, and I am not sure if my financial conditions allow me to raise a child. I've always had a pessimistic view about this, and some people may still say that I was naïve, but that's what I thought.

I don't have the conditions, I don't even know how to feed myself, so why should I let another life come into this world to suffer? However, these are all hypotheticals, and if it really happens to you and it comes to you, I think it may be difficult to decide.

Because being in the middle of things may affect one's own judgment, people do not often say that children are innocent, and this sentence is enough to affect one's judgment. The child is indeed a small life, and no matter how he makes a decision, he may regret it in the future, but each Fengzheng's personal experience is different, and the choices he makes are different.

Emotionally, it may be hard to part with flesh and blood, but intellectually speaking, one's own decisions may affect the child's life. This question is actually a bit like "loyalty and righteousness are difficult to achieve", the specific situation still needs to be analyzed on a case-by-case basis, and everyone's emotional state is different, so it is still necessary for Shinano to look at reality.